


A Choice Made Differently

by dreaming_wide_awake



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Slow Updates, WILL BE COMPLETED
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-03
Updated: 2017-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-18 18:36:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 41
Words: 157,621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4716374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreaming_wide_awake/pseuds/dreaming_wide_awake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is my take on what would've happened if Clarke hadn't left Camp Jaha at the end of Season 2. I'll warn you now, it is going to be a slow burn, no immediate jumping in with the Clexa relationship as it's obviously going to take time to rebuild that trust.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

 

Again Clarke woke from her nightmare, tangled in the sheets, cold sweats racking her body. Every night was the same. Thankfully the screams which had terrified the rest of the camp had stopped. Instead of trying to go back to sleep Clarke climbed out of her bed and decided to take a walk. The corridors of the Ark were dimly lit by the small lights which trailed along the ceiling. Clarke had made this walk many times over the last month when she couldn’t sleep, the guys who were on night duty were no longer surprised to see her. After the fall of the mountain she had wanted nothing more than to run, to disappear off into the forest and forget everything that had happened, forget what she had been forced to do through no choice of her own. It would have been so much easier for her, but then she realised that she wasn’t really running from anything when she would be carrying that burden with her anyway. There is no way you can run from something when every time you close your eyes you’re reminded of it.

In the month since the fall of Mount Weather, Camp Jaha hadn’t been bothered by the Grounders. It was like the Commander and her people had completely forgotten they were there, though Clarke knew that certainly wouldn’t be the case. Every time any of her people left the camp they were stepping onto Lexa’s land, it was all her land, and Clarke knew without question that the Commander knew every little thing that took place on it. She was sure that Lexa would have her spies in the forest, for what reason Clarke wasn’t sure, to keep an eye on them or to make sure they didn’t overstep their bounds, either way she wasn’t comfortable with it. Though she could do nothing about it. A war between their people wouldn’t end well, for either of them. Her people had retrieved weapons and technology from the mountain, returning it all to Camp Jaha, they were more than prepared for any war that may come their way, but Clarke wanted nothing more to never see another Grounder face in her life.  Again she knew that was wishful thinking. As winter approached she knew that the boundaries would be tested as animals went into hibernation and food started to run scarce. The closest Grounder village to the camp was Tondc, and the Sky People didn’t have the best relationship with the leader of that village, she knew Indra would like nothing more than to see them vanish off the face of the planet.

As she walked out into the main camp, the cold night air hitting her like a bucket of water to the face, she looked around the camp, everything was quiet. She noticed fire light by the tree line, walking over to one of the guards she took his sniper riffle off him and looked through the scope.

“What is it?” the guard asked.

“Nothing…” Clarke said, swallowing hard as she handed him back his gun, knowing it wasn’t nothing, “I just thought I saw something by the tree line.”

Shaking her head a little she turned and walked back inside, wondering why the Grounder Commander was watching them.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Lexa pulled back from the tree line as she saw the blonde approaching the fencing. She had heard word from her scouts that Clarke was no longer the girl she had first met, the events of Mount Weather changing her, Lexa wanted to see it for herself. Cursing to herself, she knew she hadn’t moved quickly enough, and that Clarke would’ve seen her. She wasn’t sure if the Sky girl would’ve been able to see that it was her, or if she would’ve thought it was just a regular Grounder, but Lexa knew it was too close.

She had moved her base to Tondc temporarily after they got word of movement from the dead zone. The former chancellor had been seen making his way back to the camp which bore his name. Lexa knew there had to be a reason for it, and she had got word from one of the clans on the outskirts of her territory that a large bomb had been retrieved from the sand. The clan leader had sent scouts to discover what it was, and where it was being taken. Out of the 10 scouts she had sent, only one returned. He had told her of a house on an island, and that the Sky people’s ex-chancellor was there. Lexa hadn’t been surprised when word got back to her, she had never trusted Thelonious, not since their first meeting in that cell.  Something about him told her that he would be a threat, not only to her people, but to the planet in general. A threat that Lexa knew they would need the Sky people’s help with. She had fought with herself about returning to Camp Jaha, knowing that she wouldn’t be welcome there, her decision a month earlier making sure of that. But she’d had no choice. It was the best thing for her people, and her people would always come first. No matter the person she wanted to be, she had to be the person she needed to be. One that would make the hard choices and save her people. If she had stayed, turning down the Mountain Men’s offer, fighting alongside Clarke and her people, Lexa knew that the death count would be high. Taking the deal insured that she got her people out of the mountain, and it also guaranteed that they would remain free from that threat, if they Sky people were unsuccessful in their attempts. Deep down Lexa knew that Clarke wouldn’t lose, she didn’t know how to, the blonde girl would’ve given her life to save her people, the Grounder Commander was grateful that it hadn’t come to that. But she had betrayed Clarke, and she knew that asking her for forgiveness wasn’t an option, Lexa wasn’t even sure she deserved it. Part of her, the cold, hard and unfeeling part, felt she had nothing to be forgiven for. She had done what any leader would do.

“Any leader but Clarke…” she said aloud.

She noticed Kassius looking at her in the dark, shaking her head a little she started to walk further into the forest, back in the direction of the horses and Tondc.

“Heda…” Kassius said, thinking he may have missed something.

“Nothing,” Lexa replied, “I was thinking aloud…”

“If I may, Heda,” he said, as he walked next to his leader, “it is not going to do you any good to keep thinking about this. The Sky people need to know what is coming. The man from the dead zone will reach the camp in a matter of days…”

“I know Kassius,” Lexa said, glancing behind her as the tree line covered the camp, “I know…”

Kassius had become invaluable to Lexa over the last month, he had been the one who sat up at night listening to her rant on about the choices that she had made. He had known her since her birth, being friends with her father, so he knew Lexa the person as well as Heda the leader. Through all her ranting he just listened, not judging. He had been there when Lexa’s choices lead to Costia’s death, even holding her at night while she cried, though she would let no one else see those tears.

“What would you do?” she asked quietly as she climbed back onto her horse, “knowing the choices that I’ve made… the pain I am likely to have caused…”

“You have two options,” he said, mounting his own horse before they started the slow ride back to Tondc, “you can approach this as a leader of your people, or you can approach it as one person to another. The Sky people are still on your land Heda, you have allowed them to stay, with no truce and no agreement made. They do not follow your laws, they do not follow you. Your people find this choice questionable, yet fair, given Clarke’s destruction of the mountain, so they do not see it as a weakness. Your next move in regards to them may make that change.”

“If I approach this with an act of force, they will see that as aggression,” Lexa replied, considering what Kassius had said, “we do now know what they have removed from the mountain, we do not know what threat that may pose to us if we make the wrong decision here. I can’t take my army to their fences and demand that they talk to me, being on my land makes no difference to them, it’s their home, they have nowhere else. With the weapons they may have retrieved I may start a war…”

“Do you really believe that the Sky Princess would sanction a war against you Heda?” he asked.

“I believe that she would revel in the opportunity after I betrayed her trust…” Lexa replied quietly.

“Heda…” Kassius said.

“Though she may want to destroy me,” Lexa said, “I do not think that she would risk her people to do so, no…”

The rest of the ride back to Tondc was completed in silence as Lexa considered the choices that she now had to make. She had no choice but to go to the camp, she had no choice but to talk to Clarke. She knew from scout reports that Clarke had been voted in as official leader of the camp, though most believed her to be such before. Now it was official, Lexa would have to meet her, leader to leader, and deal with the consequences which that brought.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As the sun rose above the camp, Clarke and the hunt team got ready to move out. The food in the camp was slowly running out, though they had brought all the food they could from the mountain, fresh meat was needed as part of the diet. Checking her gun again she looked around her. Lincoln carried his usual weapons, his sword and daggers. Octavia carried her larger blades and daggers. Bellamy carried his gun, which Clarke was pleased about because she’d seen his sword work and she wouldn’t trust him with one. Clarke herself had a blade at her back, a gift from Octavia and Lincoln. Pulling the hood up on the floor-length coat she was wearing, Clarke started to walk to the gate, the others following behind her.

When they approached the tree line Octavia caught up with the blonde.

“I hear you were walking around again last night…” Octavia said, “Nightmares not getting any better?”

“Not getting any worse either,” Clarke replied, “pretty sure we had someone watching the camp last night.”

“Who?” the younger girl asked.

“The Commander.” Clarke replied as they carried on walking.

Octavia knew better than to use Lexa’s name with Clarke, it had all but officially been banned within the camp.

“Why would she be here?” Octavia said, “It makes no sense.”

“Maybe she sees us as a threat now,” Clarke said, shrugging a little, “I mean, winter is coming, food is going to be harder to find around here, maybe we’re now a threat to Tondc.”

“So why wouldn’t Indra deal with that herself, why would Le… the Commander bother,” the other girl said, “Indra wouldn’t have a problem leading a team here, in fact she’d probably enjoy it.”

Clarke raised her hand a little as she spotted a deer in front of them, everyone stopped and ducked down a little. She looked back at Bellamy, seeing him aim his riffle at the deer. This hunt was going to be over quicker than any of them had thought. Clarke’s breath caught in her throat a little as she noticed movement in the tree line beyond the small clearing the deer was in.

“Clarke…” Lincoln said, “What is it?”

“Beyond the deer,” Clarke replied quietly, narrowing her eyes, “what do you see?”

“Grounders!” Bellamy said as the deer ran.

Clarke walked forward, gun drawn. She knew those green eyes anywhere, it wasn’t just any Grounders, it was Lexa. Octavia, Lincoln and Bellamy followed behind, all with their weapons drawn. Lexa and her small group walked towards them, meeting them in the clearing. Though Clarke noticed that the Commander hadn’t gone for her sword. Indra, Nyko and the other guy with her, who Clarke didn’t recognise, however had. Not taking her eyes off the girl in front of her, Clarke pointed her gun squarely at Lexa’s head.

“Give me one good reason not to shoot you.” Clarke said coldly.

“Other than starting a war you cannot win?” Nyko asked, before Lexa raised her hand stopping him.

Clarke didn’t even move her eyes to look at him, her eyes stayed locked on Lexa, the girl who had betrayed her. The girl who had left her and her people to die. But the betrayal ran deeper than that for Clarke, so much deeper.

“I could give you many reasons why you shouldn’t shoot me Chancellor.” Lexa replied, “Maybe asking me the reason that I’m here would work out better for you.”

“Chancellor?” Octavia asked, “You mean you know about that?”

“I know everything that happens on my land,” Lexa stated, “Camp Jaha is on my land after all.”

“You’re not giving me a reason not to shoot you Commander,” Clarke said, “implying that you have spies in my camp isn’t a good thing.”

“I do not have spies in your camp,” Lexa replied, “I am simply saying that I know everything that happens on my land. I am aware of the weapons you took from the mountain, I’m aware of the technology you recovered. I am aware that you don’t sleep at night, and I am also aware that you are not going to pull that trigger, or you would’ve done it already.”

“This tension isn’t helping anyone.” Kassius said, “We need to talk about a serious matter.”

“And who the hell are you?” Octavia asked, walking closer to the guy who must have been close to 6 and a half foot tall.

“My name is Kassius,” he replied, looking down at her, “I am one of the Commanders advisors.”

“Octavia,” she replied, “nice to meet you.”

He simply nodded as Octavia stepped back, realising she was a little out of her depth with the big guy.

“What do you want?” Clarke asked Lexa.

“Your ex-Chancellor is returning from beyond the Dead Zone,” Lexa replied, “what he has being doing there, I do not know…”

“I thought you knew everything that happened on your land.” Bellamy said.

“Beyond the Dead Zone is not my land,” Lexa said looking at him, “my land ends at the water.”

“How do you know he’s on his way back here?” Clarke asked, hoping to get this over with as soon as possible.

“We’ve been tracking his movements,” Lexa stated, “He hasn’t approached any of my people, or any of my villages.”

“So what’s the problem?” Bellamy asked, “He’s just on his way home. Does he have Murphy with him?”

“He’s alone.” Lexa replied, looking from Bellamy to Clarke, “a large bomb was discovered from the sands of the Dead Zone.”

“A bomb?” Clarke asked, the surprise evident in her voice, “that’s how he got back here…”

“What kind of bomb is big enough for him to use it to get back here?” Octavia asked Clarke.

“A nuclear warhead…” Clarke said.

“From the reports I received from scouts in that area,” Lexa said, trying not to let her voice betray the fact that Clarke had just confirmed her fears, “The bomb was separated into three parts.”

“Bombs are more Raven’s area of expertise,” Clarke replied, kicking herself for what she was about to do, “if we need to know more, then you’re going to have to explain it to her, not me.”

“That means the Commander returning to your camp,” Indra said, finally breaking her silence, “she will be killed.”

“Well we’re not asking you to join her.” Octavia replied, gripping her blade a little tighter as she stepped forwards.

“Octavia…” Clarke said, a warning tone in her voice, which the younger girl responded to, “any issues you have with Indra can wait.”

Octavia nodded her head a little, jaw clenched as she kept her eyes locked on Indra.

“Kassius can accompany me,” Lexa said, “He has no history with your people.”

“He’s a Grounder,” Clarke replied, “that’s history enough.”

“Our people are going to have to work together to deal with this threat Cl…Chancellor,” Lexa said, “They do not have to trust me.”

“I don’t see that as a problem,” Clarke replied, turning to walk back to Camp Jaha, “the not trusting you thing I mean, I think they’ve got that down. We do this now, and we do this my way.”

“You presume to tell the Commander what to do…” Indra said.

Clarke simply turned and looked at her.

“We’re going into _my_ camp,” Clarke replied coldly, “with _my_ people. Either she listens to what I say or she dies. It is that simple. In the same way that I would have to listen to what she said in one of your camps. Camp Jaha may be on the Commanders land, but _she_ has no say over what happens there, _I_ do.”

As Clarke turned and started the walk back to camp, Bellamy noticed Lexa sigh and roll her eyes. She really wasn’t enjoying this anymore than Clarke was. He also noticed that Lexa’s eyes narrowed as she watched Clarke, like she knew that Clarke had changed. Bellamy always thought of it more like something in the blonde girl had broken, not changed. She had closed every part of her off, to everyone, interacting with them only when it was necessary. The only people who saw more of the old Clarke were Octavia, Lincoln and Raven, everyone else got the Ice Chancellor, as some had taken to calling her. She had been chosen to lead them because her people knew that she would do whatever was needed to keep them safe, Abby on the other hand liked to talk, a lot. After the night on the mountain, Clarke had stopped trying to work everything out by talking about it. That night something had changed within them both, Bellamy figured that he dealt better with it than Clarke did. The blonde hadn’t even put herself forward for the new elections, Bellamy on the other hand did. But Clarke was chosen, a decision they all had to follow. Until they were better settled Clarke was the leader they needed, he knew that.

“So,” Octavia said as she walked next to Clarke, “I’m impressed.”

“With what?” Clarke asked, her jaw still clenched and her eyes fixed forwards.

“You didn’t shoot her.” The other girl replied, sure she could see the corners of Clarke’s mouth turn up a little, “I’d have shot her.”

“No you wouldn’t Grounder girl.” Clarke said, “We both know that.”

“Well, maybe not, but I’m still impressed with the way you handled it,” she said, “all that pent up anger and aggression that you have towards her, surely she deserved a little more than what you gave her.”

“She’s right,” Clarke admitted, “we do need to work together on this. Maybe if we work with them on this, she’ll agree to us moving our fences a little further, extending the land we have. We need more space, they need our help. We have to work with her, I don’t have to like her.”

“We’ll see if you’re still being this calm about it later.” Octavia replied, dropping back a little to walk with Lincoln as they were approaching the gates.

“Open the gates.” Clarke said when they got close enough.

Even though the guards were a little wary of the Commander and the mountain of a man at her side, they did as Clarke asked and opened the gates. Abby walked out of the medical area as she heard mumbling around the camp.

“What the hell is she doing here?” Abby asked.

“She has some information that we need,” Clarke replied, not stopping to talk to her mother, “someone get Raven and Kane and send them to the meeting room.”

“Clarke,” Abby said, “are you sure this is a good idea.”

“When I know more, I’ll let you know,” the blonde said, “right now this is the only choice we have.”

As she walked through the doors to the Ark, Clarke dropped her hood. Octavia noticed the small intake of breath from Lexa as she finally saw the blonde girl’s hair and the intricate braids.

“You should see her with the war-paint on Heda…” Octavia said quietly before catching back up to Lincoln.

Lexa just took a deep breath and followed the group through to the meeting room. When they got there Raven and Kane were already there.

“Oh hell no.” Raven said as soon as she saw Lexa, “not again.”

“Raven, sit,” Clarke said, as she took her place at the table, “she has some information we need, right now that’s all this is.”

“Until she wants to kill some more of our people,” Raven said as she sat next to Clarke, “and, oh, maybe back out of an agreement that nearly gets us all killed. Sound about right to you, _Commander_?”

Clarke inwardly flinched at the way Raven practically spat out the word Commander.

“I’m not asking you to trust her,” Clarke said, as everyone else sat down, Lexa sitting opposite her, “I’m not asking any of you to trust her. I know how much that is to ask. All I am asking is that you trust _me_ , trust that I will do what is best for us.”

Raven nodded a little, the look on her face letting everyone know that she wasn’t happy with this at all.

“Do you trust her Clarke?” Bellamy asked, already knowing the answer.

“I wouldn’t ask my people to do something that I do not, Bellamy, you know that.” Clarke replied as she looked at Lexa.

The Commander’s face remained emotionless, as it always did, but Clarke could see the conflict in those eyes. She could always read Lexa, that hadn’t changed. She was sure she could see Lexa swallow as their eyes remained locked.

“So…” Octavia said, breaking the silence that had now settled over the room, “Jaha’s coming back and he has a big ass bomb somewhere.”

“How big ass are we talking about?” Raven asked, looking between Octavia and Clarke.

“Commander…” Clarke said, opening up the table for Lexa.

“The information that I have states the bomb is in three parts,” Lexa said, her voice calm and steady as it should be, her emotions still locked away as she intended to keep them, “from what the Chancellor said earlier, the chances are that it is a nuclear warhead, which is what I had suspected…”

“How the hell did he get his hands on a nuke?” Raven asked, “And why are we only finding out about this now?”

“I think that’s what he used to get down to the surface from the Ark… Kane, were there nuclear weapons on the part of the Ark that remained in space?” Clarke asked, knowing that information would’ve been kept from the general population.

“Yes,” Kane replied, “each section of the Ark, before they were joined, had its own nuclear warhead.”

“Why would you do something like that?” Raven asked, still outraged by the bomb situation, “I mean, are we forgetting that’s what fucked up the planet in the first place?”

“It wasn’t a choice that any of us had a say in Raven,” he said, “it was a decision that was made when the different sections of the Ark were launched, well before any of us were born. It was believed that, one day, when the pieces of the Ark returned to Earth, that the weapons could be used as a safeguard.”

“Because that worked out so well last time…” Bellamy muttered.

“All but one of the warheads were floated when the Ark joined,” Kane explained, “the last one was kept in case it was needed to propel the Ark away from the Earth, if there was some kind of natural disaster.”

“Nuclear energy being more powerful than the thrusters that we had on the Ark…” Raven said with a nod.

“I would have expected more from educated people.” Lexa said, “As Raven has said more than once, nuclear weapons are what nearly destroyed our people, and our planet, before. Why keep one at all, the risk is too great.”

“We needed to use all the resources we had at hand Commander,” Kane said to her, “not something that I agreed with, but a full council agreement was needed to float the final warhead, an agreement we couldn’t reach.”

She nodded her head a little, letting him know that she understood his point.

“You said it was in three parts…” Raven said, getting back to the reason Lexa was there.

“Yes,” Lexa replied, “the Chancellor said that as bombs are more your area, it would be better to explain it to you.”

“Bombs, electronics, technology of any kind,” Raven said, “this place wouldn’t survive without me.”

“Modest as always Reyes…” Octavia said with a laugh.

“Just being honest Grounder Girl.” Raven replied, “okay, three parts, which would mean that it had been separated, the trigger from the uranium and the uranium from the accelerant.”

Everyone around the table looked at her with a blank expression, she had expected it from Lexa and her man mountain, but not from Clarke and the others. The only person who wasn’t looking at her was Clarke herself, Raven was pretty sure that the blonde hadn’t looked away from the Commander since they sat at the table. Lexa wasn’t stupid, she would know she was being watched. Raven was impressed with Clarke keeping her cool, there had been many a night when they’d been drinking together that Clarke had said she wouldn’t mind putting a bullet in the Grounder Commanders brain. Raven knew it was only talk, she knew how much Lexa’s betrayal had hurt her.

“Okay, which part are we not understanding?” Raven asked.

“What’s uranium?” Lexa asked.

It seemed like a pretty obvious question to everyone else.

“Nuclear energy, the chemical used is called uranium.” Raven said, “it’s what was used in nuclear power plants here on Earth many years ago, if you refine that, clean it up a little and mix the chemical composition slightly, you get enriched uranium, you get a big ass bomb.”

“So you put that together with the trigger and the accelerant and it makes the bomb?” Kassius asked.

“Gold star to the man mountain.” Raven replied, “It won’t work unless all three parts are put together.”

“Would you be able to dismantle it again once it had been put back together?” Lexa asked.

“Me personally, or someone else?” Raven asked, “cause I’m good, but I don’t know if I’m that good.”

“If you can build a bomb, surely you know how to take one apart again.” Clarke said, looking over at her.

“Nuclear bombs and regular bombs are slightly different,” Raven explained, “nuclear bombs usually have a timer, which may be a problem with this one due to its age. Whatever is used to power the timer may have degraded over time. I mean, they can be set off without a timer, or a new timer can be fitted if you know what you’re doing…”

“So that’s a no then…” Lexa said with a sigh.

“It’s an ‘I need to see what I’m dealing with before I can tell you if I can dismantle it’, Commander.” Raven answered, “But to dismantle it I would need to remove the timer first, before going in and cutting the wires… this shit was created 100’s of years before I was born, they didn’t teach me about this on the Ark. I’d be flying by the seat of my pants.”

“I’m confused…” Lexa said, “Flying by the seat of your pants…?”

“Yeah, going on instinct, doing something without really knowing what the outcome would be,” Raven said, “don’t your people have a saying for that?”

“Stupidity.” Lexa replied.

“What would Jaha want with the bomb?” Clarke asked, thinking out loud, “and why didn’t he tell us that’s what he used to get here…”

“He’s a madman.” Octavia replied, “Didn’t you see his face when he was talking about the City of Light.”

“The City of Light…?” Lexa asked, “Is that where he wanted to take you all?”

“You know what it is?” Clarke asked.

“It’s a solar panelled field…” Lexa replied, “Nothing more. The energy is used to power a city nearby, but no one has lived there for years.”

“You know what a solar panel is, but you don’t know the saying ‘flying by the seat of my pants’…” Raven said.

“My people have power in our capitol city Raven,” Lexa replied, “we are not completely stupid.”

“So,” Clarke said, fighting to keep the smile off her face at Lexa’s quick comeback line, “we know he has the bomb, we know it’s beyond the City of Light… why would he have it there if no one has lived in that city for years?”

“There is a story amongst my people that a lifeless being has taken up residence in the city beyond the City of Light… A… I’m not sure what the English word for it is…” Lexa said, obviously thinking, as she furrowed her brow as she looked down at the table.

“A lifeless being?” Octavia asked.

“Yes,” Lexa replied, “a consciousness which does not live and breathe as we do.”

“An A.I.” Raven said, “An artificial intelligence, or it could be a V.I…”

“What’s the difference?” Octavia asked.

“An A.I can think independently, a V.I has to be programmed.” Raven said, Clarke could see her eyes lighting up as she thought about it, “I’ve read about them, but have never seen one. They are literally like the one thing that humanity feared could wipe them out, you know before all the bombs and the war and shit. They don’t need to be told what to think, they have their own thought process, they don’t need natural resources, but they do need a power source, which is probably why this one has chosen that city. Unless it was created there, and wiped out everyone who lived there…”

“Raven…” Clarke said, “Breathe.”

“Sorry,” Raven said, “my inner geek came out a little there.”

“A little?” Octavia asked with a laugh.

“Oh shut up.” Raven replied shooting Octavia a look.

“Is there any way to kill it?” Lexa asked.

“You can’t kill it,” Raven said, “it’s not really alive, not in the sense that we are. Though if you define something as alive when it has independent thought, then it’s very much alive…”

“And if it has the bomb…” Clarke asked.

“Then we’re all screwed.” Raven said honestly, “but it wouldn’t be able to put the bomb together by itself, as it has no solid form, it would need someone else to do that…”

“Jaha…” Kassius said.

“That man couldn’t even put together a jigsaw puzzle…” Raven laughed.

“He’s crazy enough to try…” Octavia replied, “What if that’s why he’s coming back here, so you can tell him how to do it.”

“What I don’t understand is, why would this A.I want the bomb,” Lexa said, “What does it stand to gain by wiping out humanity.”

“Maybe it wants to start over,” Kane replied, “I remember reading a book on the Ark about an A.I who selected the best and the brightest humanity had to offer and then killed the rest. Those people selected were used to create the new perfect human race.”

“Humanity is not supposed to be perfect.” Lexa stated, “We are what we are.”

“So we are going have to wait for Jaha to get here to find out what he wants…” Clarke said looking at Lexa, “unless your people pick him up first…”

Lexa nodded a little, obviously thinking through a plan.

“We can pick him up and take him to Polis,” Lexa said, “he hasn’t yet reached the city from what I understand from the scout reports.”

“Once you pick him up, then what?” Bellamy asked, “He isn’t going to talk to you if he’s coming here, he’ll want to talk to us.”

“What if we go to Polis…” Octavia replied, looking to Clarke.

“I’m not crazy about that idea O.” Bellamy said, looking between his sister and Lexa, “that means that we have to trust that she wouldn’t have us killed the minute we get there.”

“It’s nothing more than we asked of her…” Clarke said, “I need to think about it.”

“If that is the plan that is decided then I would need reassurances.” Lexa said, looking at Clarke.

“Like?” Clarke asked, her eyes snapping up from the table, meeting the green eyes which looked back at her.

“He would need to be contained while he’s there.” Lexa replied, “I am not having a crazy man running around my city. There are families there, children…”

“Okay…” Clarke said, “So you lock him up. I have a few terms of my own.”

“Name them.” Lexa said, noticing the softness returning to Clarke’s eyes.

“My people will be free to come and go as they please.” She said, “They will not be under guard and they will in no way be harmed…”

Lexa nodded, before Clarke continued.

“They will _not_ answer to you,” Clarke said, “they are answerable only to me.”

“You will be there are my guest, Clarke,” Lexa replied, “not my prisoner. You will be there as the leader of your people.”

The others around the table all looked down as they picked up the little slip of Lexa using Clarke’s name for the first time.

“I’m going to need some time to think about it,” Clarke said, “I will have an answer for you tomorrow. You and Kassius are welcome to remain here until then if you choose to.”

“I think Indra will send out a search party if I do not return to Tondc by nightfall.” Lexa said with a small smile, “but I will return in the morning.”

“Okay,” Clarke said with a slight nod, “meeting adjourned until tomorrow morning.”

Everyone stood up, apart from Clarke who remained seated. Bellamy could see the conflict in her eyes.

“Clarke…” he said quietly, as the room had not yet emptied, “you okay?”

“I’m fine.” She replied.

Bellamy noticed that Lexa hadn’t made a move to leave either.

“Right…” he said, as he walked towards the door.

Raven, Octavia and Kane followed him, leaving Clarke alone with Lexa and Kassius.

“Kassius,” Clarke said, not looking up, “can you give us a moment please?”

He looked at Lexa who nodded, indicating it was okay for him to leave, before he followed the rest of them out of the room, the door closing behind him. Instead of remaining standing Lexa sat back down at the table opposite Clarke.

“How is this going to work…” Clarke said quietly, the mask she had been wearing the entire morning finally breaking, “I can’t trust you…”

“I understand that I hurt you Clarke…” Lexa replied.

“No you don’t.” Clarke said, finally snapping, “if you understood that, you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t be anywhere near here.”

“I had no choice but to make the decision I did,” Lexa continued, “my people come first. I had the chance to get my people out of the mountain, I had the guarantee of no further attacks against my people, a guarantee that I knew I wouldn’t need, because I knew you wouldn’t fail.”

“I killed people Lexa,” Clarke said, “a lot of people. Innocent people. Children. I killed fucking children Lexa, because you turned your back and walked away. You left us there to die.”

“No,” Lexa replied, “I left you there to live.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The shouting from inside the room had drawn the attention of a lot of people outside the doors. Everyone having seen the changes that Clarke had been through since that night on the mountain, they had all witnessed the damage that had been caused. No one got to close to the door though, they couldn’t hear exactly what was being said, as Kassius was standing in front of the door itself. He knew that, to move forward with this plan, to save both sets of people, the two young women in that room needed this.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“Why were you watching the camp last night?” Clarke asked, standing up and starting to pace, as she asked all the questions which were floating around her head,  “I get that this is still your land, but these are not your people. Was it the first time, or have there been other times when I haven’t noticed? You said that you know I haven’t been sleeping, how could you know that?”

“Other than the fact that I can see it in your eyes, Clarke,” Lexa replied calmly, “I was worried about you. Worried that I had placed too much on your shoulders and you couldn’t handle it. So yes, I was there last night, I have been there before… Why, I don’t know. For the last month, I have been having issues sleeping myself, because of what I did to you. As a leader I had no choice, as a leader I made the decision I had to make. As a person… I… if I could’ve made another decision, Clarke, if I could’ve chosen differently, please believe me when I say I would have.”

“You could have,” Clarke said, looking at her, “you could’ve chosen differently.”

“No,” Lexa replied shaking her head a little, “I couldn’t. I cannot make choices that do not benefit my people, no matter what I want for myself. And by the time I had returned to the mountain that night you were gone, your people were gone.”

“You… you went back?” Clarke asked.

Lexa closed her eyes and dropped her head a little, she hadn’t meant to say that.

“I handpicked a team of warriors, a team which I then lead back to the mountain,” Lexa admitted, “but I was too late…”

“Why would you do that?” Clarke asked, “you had already left, you had made your choice Lexa…”

“Because it wasn’t my choice,” Lexa said with a small smile and a little shrug as she stood up, “leaving wasn’t my choice, it was my duty. There is a difference.”

Clarke stood, resting both her hands on the table as she took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down as the anger which was bubbling up inside her wasn’t something that she wanted to release.

“You always have a choice Lexa.” She said.

“ _You_ may always have a choice Clarke,” Lexa replied, “but I do not… _This_ is who I am, it’s _what_ I am. I can be nothing more than a leader to my people, that is the life I lead, the life I was born to lead. _Nothing_ can ever change that… no matter how much I want it to…”

Those last few words were said so quietly that Clarke almost missed them, she looked up at Lexa, she could see the emotions in her eyes, everything was right there for Clarke to see, as it always was.

“I will see you in the morning Chancellor…” Lexa said with a slight nod, as she turned and walked from the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty much just a continuation of the previous part, but it's shorter than the last bit. Lexa and Clarke both have to deal with the events which unfolded towards the end of the first chapter. Thanks for the reviews, kudos and what not, they really do help the muse. Enjoy.

 

Once Lexa had left, and the door closed behind her, Clarke sat back down at the table. Her arms on the table and her head resting on her arms. She was angry at the Grounder Commander, so very angry, but part of her understood the choices that Lexa had made. As a leader, Clarke understood. She knew that Lexa had no choice but to do what was best for her people, as much as it hurt Clarke, she got it. The part of Clarke which didn’t understand was the part who had, earlier the very same day they were at the mountain, shared a kiss with Lexa. The part of her who believed that Lexa cared for her. Had that all been a lie. Had Clarke’s decision of telling Lexa that she wasn’t ready, in some way lead to the choice which the other girl had made when she walked away. If she hadn’t stopped the kiss, if she’d let it continue to where she assumed it would lead, would things have been different or would Lexa still have lead her people away from the mountain that night.

The fact that Lexa had admitted to leading a team back to the mountain confused the heck out of Clarke. She didn’t understand why she would leave, just to come back. In Clarke’s mind, and with her basic understanding of Grounder living, she was sure that would’ve made Lexa look indecisive, therefore weak to her people. She would have to ask Lincoln about that at a later point.

Clarke had known that she wouldn’t be able to avoid the Commander forever, she stood no chance of that, but she had hoped not to see her so soon. She hadn’t really had time to deal with the huge conflict of emotions that she felt towards her. Sure she hated her for what she had done, the way she had turned her back and walked away, but deep down she knew it wasn’t Lexa she hated, it was the decision she made. Lexa had been the one to try and help Clarke, whether she knew she was doing it or not. She had seen the pain Clarke had gone through when she killed Finn, the way she dealt with everything that Lexa had thrown at her in regards to that, and she had seen that Clarke was still willing to work with her and the Grounders as it was the right thing for her people. Lexa had helped Clarke in ways that neither of them would ever fully understand.

“How you doing there cutie?” Octavia asked as she walked into the room.

“Where’s Lincoln?” Clarke asked as she looked up.

“Escorting Lexa and her man mountain to the gates…” Octavia replied, sitting on the table next to where Clarke was sitting, resting her feet on one of the chairs, “we are okay calling her Lexa again right, I mean…”

“It’s okay, O…” Clarke said with a small smile.

“Good, cause I’m much too young and much too attractive to die.” Octavia replied with a smirk, “So how did it go?”

“She’ll be back in the morning.” Clarke said, “I know we need to do this, I know we have no other choice… But I don’t know if I can trust her again.”

“What does your heart tell you?” Octavia asked, knowing how hard this was for Clarke.

“That’s not important…” The blonde replied with a sigh.

“It is, with you it is Clarke,” Octavia said, “your strength doesn’t come from your ability to not give a shit, your passion does not come from the fact that you don’t care. You’re not Lexa, Clarke…”

“She’s not as heartless as you think you know,” Clarke replied with a soft smile, “she’s been through things that we probably couldn’t even imagine…”

“We haven’t exactly had it easy Princess.” Octavia said with a laugh.

“I’m going to tell you something, but it can’t leave this room,” Clarke said, “you understand?”

“Well it’s a bit too late to tell me you kissed her in her tent that day…” Octavia said, “cause you already told me that one night when you were wasted…”

“Technically she kissed me, let’s be straight on that.” Clarke replied.

“Oh honey, there was nothing straight about it.” Octavia said, moving her legs quickly to avoid the playful slap that Clarke gave her, “but seriously, you can trust me, you know that.”

“Just after Lexa became the leader of her people, the Ice Nation queen kidnapped her girlfriend,” Clarke said, knowing that Lexa would tie her to a tree personally if she knew that she was telling Octavia this, “this was before the Ice Nation joined the coalition… she wanted to know Lexa’s secrets, and she believed that Costia would tell her…”

“What happened?” Octavia asked, resting her elbows on her knees, with her chin resting on her hands as she listened intently to what Clarke was saying, “let me guess, she levelled the village and killed the bitch right?”

“No,” Clarke said, shaking her head a little, “she did nothing. The Ice Nation queen tortured Costia, killed her, and cut off her head… And Lexa did nothing. She held her army back, she didn’t retaliate… The one person she had in the world, the only person who she ever loved was killed and she did nothing, because it wouldn’t be the right thing for her people…”

“Shit…” Octavia sighed, “That’s got to fuck with your head.”

“And not long after the Ice Nation joined the coalition. Lexa had to sit in a room with the woman who had killed her girlfriend and draw up an agreement for peace between them.” Clarke continued, “because it was the best thing for her people. She’s been through a lot, there’s a reason she is the way she is… you haven’t seen her the way I have O… When she lets her guard down, when she actually lets you past those huge walls that she’s built to protect herself…”

“And here I was thinking you were mad at her…” Octavia said, nudging Clarke’s arm with her knee, smiling softly at the other girl.

“I don’t know what I am anymore.” Clarke replied, “sure she screwed us over, she betrayed us all, but…”

“But there was a reason…” Octavia said simply with a nod.

“Yes,” Clarke said, “I may not understand the reason, but I have to respect her for making that choice… Earlier she said if she could’ve made it differently she would… that night on the mountain she told me that she made the decision with her head and not her heart… I can’t help but think she’ll do it again. The next time her people are at risk…”

“That’s why you don’t know if you can trust her, it’s understandable,” Octavia said, “But what does your heart tell you Clarke…”

“I’ve forgotten what it’s like to listen to my heart…” Clarke replied honestly, “I’ve spent the last month ignoring it, forgetting that it’s there…”

“Let it guide you Princess,” Octavia said, jumping down from the table, “it’ll make the right choice, and we’ll follow you whatever decision you make, you know that.”

Clarke watched as Octavia walked towards the door.

“O…” she said, causing the other girl to stop and turn back, “thank you…”

“Anytime Princess.” Octavia replied with a small smile, “anytime.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As Lexa and Kassius made the journey back to Tondc, Kassius couldn’t help but think that Lexa was being very quiet.

“Is everything okay Heda?” he asked.

“I told her that we returned to the mountain,” Lexa replied, “I didn’t mean to… it just came out…”

“And what did she say?” Kassius asked as they continued walking.

“She asked me why, when I had already made my choice,” she said, clenching her jaw as she recalled the conversation with Clarke, “I told her that it wasn’t my choice to leave, it was my duty… Am I ever going to be able to have something I want for myself Kassius?”

“You mean love, Heda?” he asked, not wanting to assume that she was thinking about Clarke in that moment.

“Love, stability, a relationship that lasts more than one night and actually means something…” Lexa said with a sigh, “am I ever going to be able to have something normal?”

“Your life is not normal Heda,” he said, “it stopped being normal when you were called to lead your people. But there is a way you can be with Clarke…”

“She would never agree to that Kassius,” Lexa replied, shaking her head, “I’m not even sure she would want that, not anymore…”

“You do not know if you don’t talk to her about it.” he said, stepping a little closer to Lexa, not wanting to overstep his bounds, “she may be very open to the idea.”

“You heard her, they’re her people,” she replied, taking comfort from her friend and advisor walking closer to her, “she will never agree to joining the coalition.”

“Maybe she doesn’t have to…” he said, “let me consider the options…”

Lexa didn’t say anything, she just took a deep breath and let it out slowly as she saw the torch lights illuminating the path to Tondc.

“Indra is not going to like this.” She said.

“Indra is going to have to like it,” Kassius replied with a small laugh, “but I agree, she will not be pleased at all.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The sun had long since set over Camp Jaha and Clarke was sitting outside the Ark building, leaning up against the wall as she watched the camp wind down for the night. She had been thinking about nothing but the choice that she had to make since Lexa and Kassius had left earlier that day. While she was sitting there she saw her mother walking over to her. She still hadn’t spoken to her mother, but she knew that Kane would’ve have updated her with what had gone on, that’s part of the reason she kept him around in the meetings because she hated arguing with Abby. She also trusted Kane, she hadn’t to start with, but once she let him in instead of closing him out, she realised that he wasn’t the bad guy she first thought he was.

“I take it Kane told you what’s going on…” Clarke said as her mother sat next to her.

“He did,” Abby replied with a nod, “are you sure that allowing Lexa to lock Thelonious up is the best option that you have? We could wait until he gets here and talk to him ourselves.”

“I’m taking a small group to Polis,” Clarke replied, “we can talk to him there. If we wait for him to make it here, it may already be too late.”

“Polis?” Abby asked, “You’re going to the Grounder capitol?”

“Yes.” Clarke replied simply.

“Clarke…” her mother said, “please consider the other options that you have here. Thelonious has done nothing to make us believe that he is a threat.”

“He has a nuclear warhead mom,” Clarke replied, glancing over at her mother before looking back over the camp, “you remember that thing that was on the Ark, that you didn’t tell us about might I add, he used that to get to the surface. He knows where it is, and from what Lexa told us, he isn’t alone, and the… thing that is with him may intend to use it. What choice do I have?”

“You’re going to trust Lexa?” Abby asked, “After everything that she has done, the lies, the betrayal?”

“It’s not like I haven’t had to trust someone who lied to me before,” Clarke said coldly as she looked at her mother, “this isn’t your choice, it’s my choice. If I am wrong, then nothing happens to this camp, you can lead again as you want to.”

“I have no interest in leading this camp Clarke,” Abby said, “You should know that by now.”

“Then start respecting my decisions, instead of constantly second guessing me and making me doubt myself,” Clarke replied as she stood up, “I’m tired, I’m going to sleep…”

Abby stayed sitting where she was, sighing as she watched Clarke walk away. She thought that they’d had a breakthrough in the mountain, and some days it seemed like they had. But some days Clarke kept her at arm’s reach, forcing her away. Raven had told her that Clarke had reacted the same way with everyone, well everyone she cared about. Keeping them at a distance because she didn’t want to fail them, she didn’t want to let them down and be the reason they died. Abby understood it, Clarke had come so close to losing everything and everyone once before, she knew that she didn’t want to have to go through all that again. But it hurt her to see the person her daughter was becoming. The leader she was becoming. Someone who reminded Abby of the pain and betrayal they had all faced. She was starting to remind her of Lexa in some ways. She had broken through the walls that Clarke had put up before, she just had to let her know that she was there for her until Clarke decided that they could be the family she wanted them to be.

As Clarke made her way to her room she saw Lincoln, Octavia, Raven and Bellamy all standing and talking in the corridor. They all seemed to go quiet as she walked closer.

“Just say it.” Clarke said, stopping in front of them.

“I’ve got nothing to say,” Octavia said, “it’s these idiots.”

“Not this idiot.” Lincoln replied, standing next to Octavia.

Clarke looked at Raven and Bellamy.

“We were just thinking, are you sure it’s a good idea to trust Lexa,” Bellamy said, “I mean, we’re taking a lot on faith by even thinking about going to Polis. How do we know she’s telling the truth about Jaha?”

“What would she stand to gain by lying?” Clarke asked, “we have nothing she wants.”

“What if, and hear me out,” he said, “what if she’s trying to get us away from here, taking this group away from the camp will leave everyone else vulnerable. We leave, the Grounders attack, once we’re in Polis she can kill us too…”

“Have you heard yourself?” Clarke asked, “you really think Lexa has it in her to make up something about an A.I to get us away from here? You really believe that if she wanted us dead that she would go about it this way? Seriously, Bellamy, start using your brain. If Lexa wanted us dead, we’d be dead already.”

“She’s got a point…” Raven said, “if the bitch wanted us dead, we would be… Plus, how would they even know what an A.I was.”

“So you’re saying you trust her now?” Bellamy asked Raven.

“No, I’m not saying that,” Raven replied with a sigh, “we all know just how deep my issues with Commander no heart run, I’m just saying… maybe she is telling the truth. Maybe we should give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“You could always stay here,” Clarke said to Bellamy as she walked past him, “you don’t have to come to Polis if you’re  that worried.”

“But then who would protect you?” Bellamy asked, his tone letting Clarke know that he was only partly joking.

“I don’t need protecting Bellamy.” Clarke replied as she walked into her room and closed the door.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“You invited them to Polis?” Indra asked as Lexa and her generals discussed what had taken place at Camp Jaha.

“The Chancellor and I agreed that it would make more sense for us to pick up Thelonious,” Lexa replied with a sigh, understanding Indra’s resistance to the idea, “he won’t talk to us, but he will talk to them.”

“You are putting a lot of faith in the Sky Girl.” Indra mumbled.

“A decision I should have made sooner,” Lexa snapped, “we have assurances in place, something’s that the Chancellor and I have agreed on. He will be locked up, we will have him somewhere he cannot escape from. Once they have the information we need… then we’ll decide where to go next. I am not asking you to like my plan Indra, I am telling you what is going to happen. This is not open for discussion, is that understood?”

Indra simply nodded slightly, letting Lexa know that she understood.

“Good,” Lexa said, “I will return to Camp Jaha in the morning with Kassius, to learn of the Chancellor’s decision. If she decides to come to Polis, we will leave from here at day break tomorrow.”

“Will the Sky people be staying here tomorrow night?” Indra asked.

“If that is what we decide,” Lexa said, “yes. We have nothing to fear from them, Indra, please trust me.”

“I do trust you Heda,” Indra replied, “it is them that I do not trust.”

“Understood,” Lexa said with yet another sigh, it had been a long day, and the events of it were starting to catch up with her, “that will be all for now.”

As the generals left Lexa’s tent, she sat for a little while longer. She was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of the seemingly never ending threats which her people faced. She knew the life of a leader was not an easy one, but she refused to believe it was always this hard.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty long part, longer than I was expecting it to be, but I hope that isn't a bad thing. In this part we meet Luna, and Lexa opens up a little more to Clarke. Please take a few minutes and let me know what you think. For some reason the notes at the end will not go away.

 

Clarke had hardly slept a wink again, though she was pretty sure her body was getting used to it, she knew it was doing her mind no favours. All that she had been able to think about was the upcoming trip to Polis. Her mind taking her back, yet again, to that night on the mountain when Lexa told her she should go with her to Polis. Up until that point Clarke still had no idea that Lexa could betray her so easily. But she had, and any ideas that Clarke had about any kind of possible future the two may have were blown away completely. Even now, when she thought about Lexa, she still got the aching in her heart. It also made her think about her feelings for Finn. She had told him that she loved him, right before she plunged a blade in his chest. At the time she knew she had feelings for him, but love, no, it wasn’t love. Those words were something Finn needed to hear, just like when she told him that he was forgiven for killing 18 innocent people in Tondc. Forgiveness for that wasn’t Clarke’s to give, the guilt that she had carried after that was entirely his fault. He had told her that he did it for her. Though now Clarke thought about it, she had no idea why. He obviously thought that she had been there at some point, and that something had happened to her. The ground changed Finn, and certainly not for the better.

It had changed all of them. Made them all into something that they were not supposed to be, or maybe it made them all exactly what they were supposed to be. When they first landed in the dropship they had all had these amazing ideas about what life would be like on the surface. But within a day of them being there, they all knew that those ideas were dreams, dreams that were totally unattainable. Even now Clarke didn’t think that a total peace was entirely possible, not even with the Grounders. They were too different. She and Lexa were too different. Something that had always made Clarke wonder about destiny and fate was the feelings that she had for Lexa. It wasn’t just a physical attraction, sure the Commander was gorgeous, but it was deeper than that. It was almost like they were drawn to each other, like two opposite sides of a magnet, two polar opposites set on a collision course. Clarke didn’t think the end result would be pretty. But no matter what she thought about Lexa, no matter how much she wanted to hate her, she couldn’t. Her heart and soul wouldn’t let her.

She should hate her, she should utterly despise her for what she had done that night. She turned her back on Clarke and her people, walked away from them on the mountain, without even looking back. But of course Clarke now knew that was no longer true. The Commander had more than looked back, she had gone back with her hand-picked team of warriors. It had shocked Clarke, more than she cared to admit, that Lexa had returned that night.

Climbing out of her bed she grabbed some clean clothes and went to the washroom area. They had yet to get a system set up for full running water, she knew Raven was working on that, but there were a couple of showers that worked more times than they didn’t. The water was cold, but it didn’t seem to bother Clarke, she didn’t even notice anymore. Once she had cleaned up and got changed she was about to go back to her room, but she saw Octavia standing outside her door.

“What’s the matter O?” Clarke asked.

“It’s still dark out and you’re up and about,” Octavia replied, “shouldn’t I be the one asking you what the matter is.”

“I just can’t get my head to turn off, that’s all…” Clarke replied with a little smile.

“I’m sure Jasper can give you something to help with that.” The other girl said with a laugh.

“That’s a dangerous road to go down,” Clarke said as she opened the door to her room, Octavia following her in, “though I admit it was tempting for a while. Drinking to forget…”

“Sit…” Octavia said, motioning to the floor as she sat on Clarke’s bed, “those showers always mess up your hair…”

They sat in silence for a while as Octavia re-braided Clarke’s hair.

“Want to tell me what’s on your mind?” the younger girl asked.

“Honestly,” Clarke replied, “Lexa…”

“Didn’t really need to ask did I…” Octavia said with a laugh, “figured it would be.”

“She came back to the mountain O…” Clarke said, “She had every chance to take her people and walk away, never have to think about us again, but she came back… why would she do that…”

“I could answer that for you Princess,” Octavia said, “but I don’t think you’ll like the answer.”

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked, turning her head a little to look at the younger girl, receiving a tap on the side of her head as she did, “sorry…”

“You really want to know what I think?” the younger girl said, causing Clarke to nod slightly, “why did I go back to those caves that night, remember when we first got here, about a week later I vanished… Finn found me… why do you think I did that?”

“To find Lincoln…” Clarke said.

“Right,” Octavia replied, “sometimes you meet someone, and no matter how different you think you are, no matter how much shit is stacked against you, you just can’t walk away… She came back for you, Clarke…”

Clarke didn’t reply, she just kept her eyes focused on the wall opposite her.

“It’s not what kind of people we are that attract us to others in that way,” Octavia continued, “it isn’t something that can be explained away. It’s an attraction that runs so much deeper than simple want and need, deeper than the word love can ever take us… Two people who are meant to be together, two people who are literally made for each other, will always find each other again. You’re her opposite Clarke. You are two sides of the same emotionally fucked up coin, so suck it up.”

“When did you get so deep…” Clarke said with a laugh.

“When I realised that life is too short to live it for other people,” Octavia said, tapping Clarke on the shoulder, “okay, you’re done…”

Clarke stood up and sat on the bed next to Octavia.

“Everything was against me and Lincoln,” Octavia continued, “and I mean everything. Firstly, he’s a Grounder, my brother tied him up to torture him. That should have sent him running, but it didn’t. My own people wanted to kill him, but still he didn’t run. God, he even got turned into a Reaper and still that didn’t stop him, it didn’t stop us… Life is too short Clarke, you of all people should know that.”

Clarke took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as she nodded.

“I don’t think there’s any chance for anything like that with me and Lexa…” Clarke said, “not now…”

“Why not?” Octavia asked, “because people hate her? News flash Princess, people here have hated her since the moment she brought her army here. It isn’t about what other people want Clarke, it’s about what you two want. And I can tell you, without any shadow of a doubt, she wants you. It’s in her eyes when she looks at you, it’s like you’re the most precious thing in the world to her, sure you drive her completely nuts sometimes, but Lexa needs something like that. Someone who isn’t going to agree with everything she says, someone who is going to question everything…”

“Earlier she said that she can never have anything for herself, no matter how much she wants it,” Clarke said with a sigh, “her people always come first, they have to.”

“So you make it work,” Octavia replied, “if you want something, you make it work. There are ways around everything. Just look at me and Lincoln. We made it work.”

“It’s a little bit different with us O,” the blonde girl said, “she’s the leader of her people, and I’m the leader of mine. Two groups of people who are never going to get on, because we’ll never trust each other…”

“Let me give you an example of making something work,” Octavia said, “using something that you told me earlier. Do you think that Lexa wanted to make peace with the Ice Bitch? Do you really think she wouldn’t have rather just cut the bitch’s head off and be done with it? Of course she would, but she didn’t. The Ice Nation have been at war with Lexa’s clan for as long as anyone can remember Clarke, they have killed thousands of each other’s people. Slaughtered them in cold blood. There’s some deep fucked up hate there, but the coalition holds. If they can be civil, then surely we can be.”

“And if we can’t…?” Clarke asked.

“Then you do what I was thinking about doing…” Octavia said, “You walk away from here. You turn your back and you leave. You have done so much for us Clarke, you have given up so much of yourself to keep us alive, but it’s time for you to start living for you, not for us. If you and Lexa can’t make it work because of this camp, because of us, then leave… no one would hold it against you. Well actually, your mother probably would, Bellamy would hate it and Raven would be pissed, but they’d get used to it. If you really want to be with her, then be with her. Be one of them, rather than one of us… We’re your family, and we love you, but it’s killing you being here like this…”

“Let’s get through this new threat before I start making any rash decisions shall we…” Clarke said with a laugh.

“Deal,” Octavia replied, “oh, and can we maybe not tell anyone I’ve gone totally soft please, Raven will never let me live it down…”

“Your secret is safe with me…” Clarke said with another laugh.

“Can I ask you something…” the younger girl said.

“Sure.” Clarke replied.

“Do you love her?” she asked.

“I don’t know…” Clarke replied honestly, “I mean, I certainly feel something, but I don’t know if I can label it as love… in some ways it doesn’t feel enough… but in some ways it feels so much more.”

Octavia just smiled at Clarke’s words.

“What…?” Clarke asked.

“Nothing,” the other girl replied, “but remind me to tell you I told you so, when you finally figure your shit out.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

When Lexa and Kassius arrived, Clarke, Raven, Bellamy, Kane and Octavia were already in the meeting room. As the door opened and Lincoln walked in first, followed by Lexa and Kassius, Clarke stood up from where she was sitting.

“Commander,” she said, “Kassius…”

“Chancellor…” Lexa replied, “Have you reached a decision?”

Octavia looked between Clarke and Lexa, a small smile appearing on her lips as she did. Raven looked at her with a questioning look on her face, to which the younger girl just shook her head a little.

“I will take a small group to Polis,” Clarke said, “myself, Octavia, Lincoln and Raven.”

“Clarke,” Bellamy said, interrupting her, “is there any reason that I’m not in that group?”

“I need people I can trust Bellamy,” Clarke replied coldly, “not someone who is going to second guess every choice I make. You can stay here with Kane, keep the day to day running of this place going while we’re gone.”

Instead of arguing Bellamy just nodded once and remained quiet. He knew why Clarke was leaving him behind, it was because of what he had said the previous night. He just hoped she wasn’t stupid enough to once again completely trust Lexa, he didn’t want to see her get hurt again.

“I will send a rider ahead to Polis,” Lexa said, “inform them of our arrival and have them send out a team to pick up your ex-Chancellor.”

“Ask them not to hurt him any more than necessary,” Clarke replied, “he isn’t going to talk too much if we get there and he’s been beaten to a pulp.”

Lexa simply nodded in reply.

“When do we leave?” Octavia asked.

“Day break tomorrow,” Lexa replied, “from Tondc. We should arrive in Polis in two days.”

“Meaning we spend one night sleeping in tents?” Raven asked, “awesome, my favourite thing in the whole wide world.”

Lexa slowly turned her head and looked at her.

“I’m sure it’ll be loads of fun.” Raven said.

“There is no way to get to Polis any faster,” Lexa said, hoping she wasn’t coming off as cold as she felt towards the girl, “two days is the minimum, and that is with very limited breaks during the journey.”

“I’m sure we’ll all be fine Commander.” Clarke said, looking at Raven before looking back at Lexa, “Shall we meet you in Tondc tomorrow morning then?”

“I would prefer it if you and your group would spend the night there tonight,” Lexa replied, “It will make the planning a lot easier, as we still have a lot to discuss.”

“Okay,” Clarke said with a small nod, “we will be there in four hours, we need to get some things together.”

Lexa nodded and turned to leave the room with Kassius.

“Lincoln,” Clarke said, “can you escort them out please?”

Lincoln nodded and walked from the room with Lexa and Kassius, the last thing Clarke needed right now was someone in her camp taking it upon themselves to be a hero and trying to kill Lexa.

“Okay,” Clarke said to the remaining group, “we’re going to need weapons…”

She looked at Octavia.

“Keep it simple,” she continued, “nothing that is going to make them doubt our intentions, I’d quite like to make it through the night without Indra trying to kill me while I sleep.”

Octavia nodded and left the room to gather some weapons.

“Kane,” Clarke said looking at the man, “can you please see if my mother can spare some basic medical supplies, something tells me we may need them.”

“Certainly.” He replied with a small nod, before turning and leaving the room.

“What do you want me to do Princess?” Raven asked.

“I’m thinking we’re going to need a small radio,” Clarke said, “so we can keep in contact with Bellamy and Kane, just in case anything goes wrong. It needs to be portable. I’m not sure what kind of power they have in Polis so make sure that it’s adaptable too.”

“How long do I have?” Raven asked as she stood up.

“4 hours.” Clarke replied.

“Piece of cake.” The other girl said as she walked from the room.

“Clarke…” Bellamy said, “I understand why you’re leaving me behind, but please, reconsider. I know you don’t need protecting, but you know that I’ll be of more use in Polis than I am here.”

“Bellamy,” Clarke replied with a sigh, “part of the reason I need you here is to make sure that everyone stays safe. You’re one of the best hunters we have, and people need to eat. Also, with me gone and with O and Raven with me, I need you and Kane to make sure that my mother doesn’t do anything stupid.”

Bellamy nodded a little, as Clarke walked from the room.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

On their arrival at Tondc they were met by a small group of Grounders just outside the camp.

“Weapons.” One of them said, holding a bag out to Clarke.

“That’s not going to happen.” Clarke replied, looking at the others to make sure none of them moved to hand over their weapons.

“Camp leaders orders,” he said, “no Sky person will be armed within Tondc.”

“Then no Sky Person enters Tondc.” Clarke said, “and when your Commander asks why we aren’t there, you can tell her.”

A few moments later, Octavia nudged Clarke a little and motioned down the path to the camp, she saw Lexa, Kassius and Indra walking towards them.

“What’s the problem here?” Lexa asked, looking between Clarke and the small group of Grounders.

“Apparently we aren’t allowed to enter unless we hand over our weapons,” Clarke replied, “and that is not going to happen.”

“Your people are in no danger here Chancellor.” Lexa said, her face void of all emotion.

“It’s still not going to happen,” Clarke said, her eyes letting Lexa know that she was not going to back down over this, “your people do not walk around Tondc unarmed, so neither should mine. We both know how your people view mine Commander, I am not being unreasonable.”

Lexa clenched her jaw as she sighed a little.

“Heda…” Indra said, “They cannot make demands.”

“Let them pass.” Lexa said to the small group of Grounders, though her tone of voice left nobody with any doubt that she wasn’t happy about it.

As the Grounders moved aside, letting Clarke and her people pass, the blonde girl stopped momentarily in front of the Commander.

“Thank you.” She said, before she continued down the path to the camp.

“Heda,” Indra said as they started the short walk back to the camp, “you cannot allow them to make demands such as that.”

“The Sky People did not demand that I hand over my weapons before I entered their camp,” Lexa said to Indra, “so we cannot demand that they do. While I am here, Indra, all decisions such as that, are mine, not yours.”

Indra nodded a little before walking off ahead.

“Did that decision make me look weak Kassius?” Lexa asked with a small smirk, knowing that the man was looking at her.

“No Heda.” He replied, “I believe that is what the Sky People call compromise.”

Lexa laughed a little as she continued to walk.

When Lexa and Kassius reached her tent, Clarke and her group were waiting outside.

“Lincoln,” Lexa said, “can you show our guests where they can get something to eat.”

“Yes Heda.” Lincoln replied, in that moment knowing that Lexa still considered her one of his people as much as Clarke considered him one of hers.

“Once you have eaten, Chancellor,” Lexa said as she looked at Clarke, “we need to talk.”

Clarke nodded a little before following Lincoln to a nearby tent where they could get some food. While they were walking towards the tent Clarke saw Indra walk up to Lincoln.

“ _Yu nou teik in hir_ …” Indra said quietly, her tone setting Clarke on edge, though she did not know what Indra had just said.

“ _Ai laik hir gon klark en ai kru_.” Lincoln replied, the look on his face letting Indra know that he did not fear her.

The woman just looked at him before stalking off in the direction of Lexa’s tent.

“What was that about?” Clarke asked, walking up next to Lincoln.

“She told me that I’m not welcome here.” Lincoln replied, holding the tent open for Clarke and the others, “she gave me a choice before she let me return that night… Them or you.”

“What did you say to her?” Raven asked.

“I told her I was here for Clarke and my people,” Lincoln replied, motioning to the food on the table, “eat.”

Clarke wasn’t hungry so she just stood waiting while the others ate. Octavia had taught her a little Trigedasleng, enough to know when someone was going to try and kill her, but Clarke’s patience had run out when it seemed to be going in one ear and out of the other. She realised she had picked up more than she thought one day when Octavia and Lincoln were talking and she understood about 60% of what they were saying. She hadn’t let the younger girl know though, it was much more amusing for Clarke when Octavia thought she didn’t understand.

“Are you going to be okay talking to Lexa on your own?” Raven asked, looking at Clarke.

“She isn’t going to hurt me Raven…” Clarke replied.

“Maybe not physically, but we all know what happened last time…” Raven mumbled before taking another bite of the piece of meat she had.

“I’ll be fine…” Clarke replied.

The tent opened and Kassius walked in, he looked around before his eyes settled on Clarke.

“Heda wishes to talk to you.” He said.

“I’ll be there when I’m ready.” Clarke replied.

“She was certainly correct when she said you were stubborn.” Kassius said with a small smile, “do not keep her waiting, her patience is not endless.”

“I am not stubborn.” Clarke replied, causing everyone in the tent to look at her, “okay, maybe I am… a little. Tell her I will be there soon, I just need to make sure that my people are okay.”

Kassius nodded slightly before leaving again.

“He seems nice,” Octavia said, “intimidating, but nice.”

“Don’t let his size fool you,” Lincoln replied with a small laugh, “he is a nice guy. Lexa trusts him, we need to do the same.”

“Who is he to her?” Clarke asked, curious about Kassius’s relationship with Lexa.

“Her advisor.” Lincoln replied.

“There’s more to it than that…” Clarke said.

“It’s not my place to say, sorry Clarke.” He replied with a small smile, “He may tell you if you ask him.”

“And he may not.” Raven replied with a laugh, “and I doubt Lexa will tell you, weakness and all that.”

“I should probably go and talk to her,” Clarke said, moving to leave, “wouldn’t want to keep her waiting too long… Will you guys be okay?”

“We’ll be fine Princess,” Octavia said, “while you and Lexa are on good terms nothing will happen to us here.”

“You really believe that?” Raven asked the younger girl who simply nodded in reply.

Clarke left the tent and found her way back to Lexa’s tent.

“Heda is busy.” A Grounder she didn’t recognise said, stopping her from entering.

“She told me to come back here once I had eaten.” Clarke replied.

“She is busy, you will wait.” He said.

“Let her pass…” she heard Lexa say from within the tent.

As Clarke was walking past the Grounder he leant towards her a little.

“I do not like you, Sky girl.” He said.

“Noted.” Clarke replied, walking into the tent.

Lexa was sitting on her throne, Indra to her right, Kassius to her left. She was talking to a woman that Clarke had never seen before.

“Kassius, ensure that the Chancellor’s people have somewhere to sleep.” Lexa said to the huge man to her left.

“Sha, Heda.” He replied, walking down from the elevated platform, he smiled slightly as he passed Clarke.

Something about the look in his eyes made Clarke herself smile, though she tried to fight it she failed.

“Does Kassius amuse you Chancellor?” Lexa asked.

“Sorry…” Clarke said, forcing the smile from her face.

“Luna, this is Clarke, the leader of the Sky People,” Lexa said to the woman who Clarke had never met, “Clarke, this is Luna, leader of the floudon kru.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes a little, knowing that Lexa was testing her.

“The boat people?” Clarke asked.

Lexa and Luna both smiled a little and nodded.

“You are learning…” Lexa said.

“Octavia was teaching me.” The blonde replied.

“Was?” Luna asked.

“I got a little frustrated that none of it seemed to be sticking…” Clarke replied, “but apparently it was.”

“We are not here to discuss the Sky Girl learning our language.” Indra said, almost glaring at Clarke.

“I see you are as light-hearted as ever Indra.” Luna said to Indra, a small smirk playing on her lips.

“Luna…” Lexa replied, an amused tone to her voice, though it was also a warning.

“I apologise Heda…” Luna replied, glancing at Clarke and smiling a little.

“Indra is right,” Lexa said, “that is not what we’re here to discuss. Clarke, Luna’s people have already picked up your ex-Chancellor.”

“We found him in the woods on our way here,” Luna said, looking from Lexa to Clarke, “as most of my group were going to Polis, they took him there, while I continued on with my guard. He is uninjured, or at least he was when I left. I understand from Heda that he is a difficult man.”

“He can be.” Clarke replied, “I think the lack of oxygen on the Ark after the rest of my people left, may have made him slightly…crazy…”

“I instructed my people to secure him while in Polis,” Luna said, “he was unconscious when we found him, but when he did come round he was talking of the end of the world.”

“The nuclear warhead…” Clarke said quietly.

“Indra,” Lexa said, looking at the other woman, “leave us.”

Although Indra was certainly not happy with Lexa’s order, she of course did it anyway.

“Are we sure it is a nuclear weapon Heda?” Luna asked once Indra had left the tent.

“As sure as we can be,” Lexa replied with a small nod, “yes…”

Lexa stood from her throne and walked down towards where Luna and Clarke were standing. Both knew that Lexa hated sitting on her throne when she didn’t have to, and for some reason she felt that she no longer had to keep this meeting formal.

“If it is, what are your plans for moving forward?” Luna asked.

“As of yet, we don’t have one…” Lexa replied, looking between Clarke and Luna.

Luna noticed the look between Lexa and the sky girl and the way Lexa used the word ‘we’ rather than ‘I’ also didn’t go unnoticed. She had heard talk from her people who had been in Tondc when the missile hit that the Commander was growing close to Clarke, but she would never have believed it. She had known Lexa for a long time, their two people had always been close, and she also knew how much Costia had meant to Lexa. So this new development surprised her, it also amused her greatly.

“If it is a nuclear weapon,” Clarke said, looking between them, “then it is obviously still in the city beyond the City of Light. We don’t know whether he has the knowledge to reassemble it, but Raven doesn’t think so.”

“Raven?” Luna asked.

“Oh, sorry,” Clarke replied, “she’s one of my people, she’s a mechanic. Brilliant with all things technological and also pretty awesome with things that go boom.”

“She is the one who created the bombs which brought down the power supply for the mountain.” Lexa explained, “she is… complex.”

“That’s one word for her.” Clarke replied with a laugh.

“Once we arrive at Polis, Clarke and her people will talk to Thelonious.” Lexa said, “hopefully he will be more open in discussing his plans with them, as he was obviously returning to them when you found him.”

“I want to see if I can change his mind about whatever it is he has planned, before we take any drastic measures.” Clarke replied, “I don’t want him dead unless there is no other way.”

Lexa nodded. Luna knew this was a risk on Lexa’s part. If Jaha posed a threat to Lexa’s people they would demand it be dealt with, by already agreeing with Clarke, Lexa stood to anger more than a few people.

“And if there is no other way?” Luna asked.

“Then my people will deal with it.” Clarke replied, “he is one of us, after all.”

“An ‘us or them’ view is not going to work here Clarke,” Luna said, “we all need to work together, as one people, or this will not work and we all stand to lose.”

“If he needs to be killed, then I will do it myself.” Clarke replied coldly.

Luna could see Lexa’s reaction to those words simply by looking at her. The Commander was as shocked as she was.

“As for working together as one people,” Clarke continued, “the last time my people agreed to that, we were left to die. It is going to take a lot for them, and for me, to go down that road again. Will there be anything else Commander?”

“No.” Lexa replied, trying to keep her composure, as Clarke’s words cut like a knife, “I will have Kassius come for you if I have any more to discuss.”

Clarke nodded a little before turning to Luna.

“It was nice to meet you.” She said politely before walking from the tent.

Luna watched as Clarke left, before she turned to Lexa.

“Don’t…” Lexa said, shaking her head a little.

“Feisty little thing isn’t she.” Luna said as Lexa poured them both a drink, before handing one cup to Luna.

“I betrayed her trust once,” Lexa replied as she leant against the table, “she has no reason to trust me now.”

“So give her a reason.” Luna said, “If she doesn’t trust you, this is not going to work.”

“I’m aware of that…” Lexa said with a sigh.

“Her people are still on your land, yes?” Luna asked.

“I cannot demand they trust me simply because they are on my land…” Lexa replied, “The last time I tried that approach, Clarke came into my tent with an offer. Her naivety almost made me laugh, but her passion… Luna, she is going to be a great leader of her people.”

“All the more reason for you to keep her on side Lexa.” Luna said, “If you can have peace with the Sky People, this area will be more stable for everyone, my people included.”

Lexa nodded but did not reply.

“You feel something for her…” Luna said, finally realising what the look in Lexa’s eyes meant, “Have you fallen for this girl Lexa?”

“You’re starting to sound like Anya…” Lexa replied with a small laugh.

“That does not answer my question.” Luna said with a laugh of her own.

Before Lexa could even form an answer to Luna’s question in her mind, Kassius walked into the tent.

“Heda, forgive the interruption, we have a problem.” He said.

“What kind of problem?” Lexa asked.

“Octavia, Lincoln’s partner, may be about to kill one of your guard.” He said, an amused look on his face.

“Explain.” Lexa replied, narrowing her eyes a little.

“One of our people recognised Raven from her last visit here, and blamed her for Gustus’s death.” Kassius said.

Lexa let out a low growl as she put her cup down on the table before walking out of her tent. It didn’t take Lexa long to find the group, a small crowd had gathered. As they saw her approaching they parted, allowing her through. She saw Lincoln holding Octavia back and Clarke standing between the younger girl and a Grounder, her arms outstretched to keep them both back.

“Em pleni!” Lexa said, causing everyone to stop and look at her as she walked over to the Grounder, “Raven was not responsible for Gustus’s death, I am. Would you like to challenge me on that decision?”

“No, Heda.” He replied, bowing his head a little.

“The Sky People are here as our guests,” Lexa continued, looked at the gathered crowd, “anyone who harms them in any way will pay for that with their lives!”

The crowd started to make their way back to whatever it was they had been doing. Lincoln still didn’t release Octavia, Lexa made her way over to them.

“If you wish to earn respect around these people, that is not the way to do it.” Lexa said to her.

“He was going to…” Octavia started to say.

“I know,” Lexa said, interrupting her, “and I understand that you were defending your friend. But it is not up to you to do that. You would have lost that fight Octavia, he would have killed you.”

“You don’t know that…” Octavia said to her.

“He is one of my guard,” Lexa replied with a soft smile, “you are not yet at the level to fight him.”

Lexa turned and saw Luna standing near Clarke, a bemused look on her face.

“Do you currently have a second?” she asked.

Luna shook her head, knowing what Lexa was about to say.

“Octavia,” she said, looking back at the girl, “I know that you started your training with Indra, but I would like you to continue that training with Luna, at least while we are in Polis and dealing with this current threat.”

Octavia turned her head and looked at Lincoln, a questioning look in her eyes, he simply nodded.

“Yes, Heda.” Octavia said, turning back to Lexa.

Without another word Lexa turned and walked back towards her tent.

“Trust you to pick an ankle biter as a partner Lincoln.” Luna said with a smirk as she walked towards him and Octavia, “are all Sky People this feisty?”

“Thankfully not.” Lincoln replied with a laugh as Luna extended her arm, taking her wrist he pulled her into a hug, “it is good to see you again.”

“Likewise,” she replied, backing away before looking at Octavia, “when I tell you to do something, I expect you to do it, without question. Is that understood?”

“Yes…” Octavia said, clenching her jaw a little.

“Good,” Luna replied, “now sit, and tell me about how you met Lincoln.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As the night fell around them, Clarke spotted Lincoln sitting by one of the many fires which currently burned around Tondc. Octavia was out hunting with Luna and her guard, as Luna wanted to see how Octavia handled her sword in a controlled environment. Clarke made her way over to Lincoln.

“So,” she said, sitting down opposite him, “how do you know Luna?”

“When I was growing up, Tondc was smaller than it is now,” Lincoln said, talking to Clarke as he watched the flames of the fire, “it was technically two villages. Luna lived in one village with her family, while me, Anya and Lexa were all born here… For training children from both villages were brought together, Lexa was still a tiny child at that point, she could hardly carry her tiny sword, but she still wanted to join us…”

Clarke couldn’t help but smile at the mental images now in her mind of Lexa as a small child, dragging her sword along as she chased after Lincoln and Anya.

“Luna had a sister who was Lexa’s age,” Lincoln continued, “she would bring her along as their parents were both busy working, their father was a blacksmith and their mother a healer. We all grew close, Luna, Anya and I would get into all kinds of trouble as children. Lexa wasn’t much better. I recall one time we were following a hunt, Lexa believed that she could catch a rabbit in a more resourceful way than the hunters did. She climbed up a tree, throwing herself off the lowest branch and landing on her prey. She was certainly showing off…”

“I don’t recall that hunt…” Lexa said as she walked over to the fire.

“Heda…” Lincoln said, “I…”

Lexa raised her hand a little to stop the apology which she knew was forming on Lincoln’s tongue.

“You have heard me mention Luna’s sister,” Lexa said to Clarke as she sat next to Lincoln by the fire, “Costia…”

Clarke didn’t say anything as she waited to see if either Lincoln or Lexa were going to continue the story. Lincoln was surprised that Lexa had told Clarke about Costia, as she very rarely talked about the girl who had once meant everything to her.

“Luna moved to another village when she was 13,” Lexa continued, “when she was taken as a second by the then leader of the boat people. Anya was given me as her second, something that I remember her being more than a little unhappy about. It looks bad on a mentor if their second gets killed during training, and Anya had been sure that I would injure myself… Lincoln and Costia both took healing as part of their training. Costia was never a big lover of violence, she would much rather talk her way out of a battle if she could.”

“Remember the time when Indra was running the training session, and Costia tried to inform her of the many ways it would be beneficial to talk, rather than fight?” Lincoln asked, causing Lexa to laugh.

“I thought Indra was going to lose her mind that day…” Lexa replied.

“That is one of the reason’s Indra dislikes you, Clarke.” Lincoln said to the blonde girl.

“I have lost count of the times she has told me that you simply talk too much.” Lexa said, meeting Clarke’s eyes over the flames from the fire.

“Indra just hates everybody.” Clarke replied, “well every Sky Person anyway.”

“She doesn’t hate your people Clarke,” Lexa said with a soft smile, “she just doesn’t understand your ways. Your people are so different to ours in many ways, and to Indra it’s strange. She believes you waste too much energy trying to find peaceful solutions to things, when another way may be quicker.”

“Violence isn’t the answer to everything.” Clarke replied looking back at the flames, as the intensity she was feeling from Lexa’s gaze was starting to chip away at the walls she was fighting so hard to keep up.

“Costia once said much the same thing.” Lexa said.

Kassius walked over to where they were sitting.

“Heda, the hunt has returned.” He said.

Lexa nodded before standing up.

“Enjoy the rest of the night, and try and get some rest,” she said, “tomorrow is going to be a long day.”

With that she walked past Clarke, obviously returning to her tent.

“Lexa.” Clarke called after her, causing the Commander to turn back slightly, “thank you…”

Clarke saw Lexa smile a little as she turned and continued the short walk to her tent.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part was a nightmare to write as my muse stopped playing ball part way through. It's a very 'Clarke' heavy part, but we'll certainly be getting more Clarke/Lexa interactions in the next part as they arrive in Polis. So the main points in this are; Clarke finally sleeps through the night, she gets told a few things she may not want to hear by Luna, we learn a little more about Kassius's relationship with Lexa, and Clarke thinks she may finally be able to start to heal. Thank you all for your comments and input, it really does help. Enjoy.

Tondc was finally starting to quieten down enough for everyone to consider going to sleep, Lincoln saw Octavia walking around looking worried.

“What is it?” he asked as he walked over to her.

“I can’t find Clarke.” She replied, “I have no idea where Lexa put everyone else to sleep, but I can’t find her.”

“Calm down,” Lincoln said, putting his arm around her shoulders, “I’m sure she’s fine.”

“Lincoln,” she said, “Clarke has hardly slept for more than two hours a night for the last month, I know she seems fine, but she’s really not. What if she’s gone wondering off somewhere…”

Octavia spotted Kassius walking to the food tent.

“Man mountain.” she called to him, causing him to change his walking destination, walking over to her and Lincoln instead.

“What is the matter?” Kassius asked.

“I can’t find Clarke…” Octavia said.

“I see,” he replied with a small smile, “you have no need to worry my young friend, she is sleeping.”

“Where?” Octavia asked, “Sorry if I don’t take your word for it, but I’d like to see it for myself.”

“Clarke is sleeping in the tent next to Heda’s,” Kassius replied, “come, I will show you, but please remain quiet. Heda is also sleeping, and she has not been sleeping at all well lately.”

“Lexa has never had trouble sleeping…” Lincoln said quietly as he and Octavia walked with Kassius.

“She has had a lot on her mind these last weeks.” Kassius said, “As I’m sure your leader has.”

“It’s mostly nightmares that have kept Clarke awake,” Octavia replied, “nightmares that she never wants to talk about.”

“She has seen a lot in the short time she has been here,” Kassius said, motioning to the tent next to Lexa’s, “her mind needs time to come to terms with that.”

“I’ll wait here…” Lincoln said to Octavia, “I don’t think Clarke would appreciate me checking on her while she’s asleep…”

Octavia nodded and quietly walked over to the tent, as she made her way inside her saw that Kassius had been telling the truth. Clarke was fast asleep, and for the first time in a month it looked to Octavia like it was a peaceful sleep.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

When Clarke awoke the next morning the sun was just starting to come up. She had slept right through the night, no nightmares to speak of. She couldn’t put her finger on the reasons why. Sure she had been tired, mentally she had been exhausted, but that had never stopped the nightmares before, usually it made them worse. As she exited the tent she glanced over to the tent to the left of hers, she saw Lexa talking to Kassius. Lexa obviously sensed the movement near Clarke’s tent and looked over.

“If you wish to eat before we leave,” she said to Clarke, “then I would suggest you do so now.”

Clarke nodded a little and started to make her way to the food tent.

“Have you given any more thought to trusting us yet?” Luna asked, walking up next to Clarke.

Clarke hadn’t heard her so the sudden arrival, and Luna talking to her, caused her to jump.

“You people seriously need to start making a noise when you walk.” Clarke said as she tried to calm her breathing back down.

“Sorry Sky Girl,” Luna said with a smile, “we’re taught from a young age to move as silently as possible, and you didn’t answer my question.”

“It’s not as simple as just deciding to trust you…” Clarke replied, “It’s not _you_ I don’t trust, I don’t know _you_ well enough to make that choice.”

“It’s Lexa.” Luna said with a nod, “my people told me of her leaving you on the mountain, though it is my understanding that she did return.”

“Too late,” Clarke replied quietly, “it was too late…”

“Do you understand the significance of her returning at all?” Luna asked, grabbing Clarke’s wrist to stop her walking, “Once a leader makes a decision, they are supposed to stick to it. Lexa didn’t. She went against her own orders by returning to the mountain. It was a moment of weakness on Lexa’s part, which is how her people will see it. She is very lucky that nobody has taken objection to it.”

“I didn’t ask her to come back.” Clarke stated.

“No,” Luna replied shaking her head a little, “you asked her not to leave in the first place. I understand that her decision hurt you, I understand that you may have had to make a choice of your own that you now regret, but it was war Clarke. The Mountain Men have been taking our people for as long as anyone can remember, turning them into Reapers before returning them, or not returning them at all. Lexa had to consider all those things when she made her choice. As much as she would’ve hated breaking the alliance between your two people, her people will always come first.”

“Yeah,” Clarke said with a nod, before she moved to walk away, “I get it.”

“I don’t think you do.” Luna said, stopping her once again.

“What am I not getting?” Clarke asked as she turned back to Luna, “explain it to me.”

“It wasn’t breaking the alliance which hurt Lexa the most,” Luna said, stepping closer to Clarke, “it was leaving you. I have known her since she was a very small child, I have seen her grow into the leader that she now is, a leader that our people have needed. She would willingly risk all that for you. Do you know what would happen to her if people realised that she cares about you? Do you think that our leaders can just walk away when things get too much for them to handle? No, they would kill her Clarke…”

Clarke didn’t say anything, she couldn’t think of anything to say.

“But not before they killed you, making her watch,” Luna continued, “your death wouldn’t be quick, Clarke, it would be long and drawn out. Lexa would be forced to watch every moment of it. She’s a strong leader Clarke, but she isn’t invincible.”

With that, Luna walked away, obviously having said all that she needed to say.

“What was that all about?” Raven asked, walking over to Clarke carrying two plates of food, one which she handed to the blonde girl.

“She was just filling me in on a few things…” Clarke replied, her eyes drawn to where Luna was now talking to Lexa.

“Do we trust them yet?” Raven asked as she and Clarke sat near a fire which was still burning.

“No…” Clarke said, “No, we don’t. We need to go at this with our eyes open, we can’t blindly trust what Lexa tells us, as much as I want to… She needs to earn that trust back…”

“Earn our trust back,” Raven replied, eating some of the food from her plate, “or earn your trust back? You ever think you can trust her again, forgive her for what she did?”

“I don’t know…” Clarke replied.

Before Clarke could add anything else Octavia and Lincoln joined them by the fire.

“So how did everyone sleep?” Octavia asked, her eyes focusing on Clarke as Raven babbled on about hating sleeping in tents.

“I actually slept pretty well…” Clarke said, once Raven was finished, “I honestly don’t even remember falling asleep…”

“Maybe you’ve started to bury some of your demons…” Lincoln said, “Started to forgive yourself, and others for what happened…”

“Maybe…” Clarke replied with a small sigh.

Clarke couldn’t help but think that maybe Lincoln was right. Maybe facing Lexa again had helped Clarke to start to put the ghosts to rest. Physically she had faced everything when they returned to Mount Weather to retrieve the weapons and the technology, but emotionally at that point she hadn’t even started to heal. Being around Lexa the first time had brought out a side of Clarke that she didn’t even know existed. A strength which she had no idea was there. She hadn’t wanted to lead her people, she hated the idea of everyone and everything relying on her. Lexa had given her the tools needed to deal with that, to realise that maybe she was after all born for that role.

Clarke saw Kassius walking over to them.

“I think we’re nearly ready to go…” Clarke said to the others before he reached them.

“All of your equipment has already been loaded into the carts and onto the horses.” He said, “We will be leaving soon, so once you have finished with your food, Heda requests that you all meet us by the horses.”

“Thanks,” Clarke said, “we’re nearly done here.”

He nodded before he made his way towards where the horses were.

“Oh great,” Raven said, “Horse riding, my favourite thing in the whole world.”

“Just take it slow,” Clarke replied, knowing that the lack of strength in Raven’s leg made staying on the horse difficult, “I’ll ride with you.”

Raven nodded a little.

Once they had all finished eating, Clarke and the group made their way over to where Lexa was standing. Clarke did a quick count of how many were going to Polis. Lexa had four people with her, two of her guard plus Kassius and Indra. Luna had her guard with her, which made it to 10, not including Clarke and her group. There were horses for everyone.

“Raven,” Lexa said as they arrived with the group, “I thought it would be better to give you a choice, we have a horse ready for you, but we also have space in one of the carts if you would prefer to use that instead.”

“I’m not a complete invalid Commander.” Raven snapped.

Clarke inwardly groaned. Raven wasn’t used to anyone actually giving her any consideration, so the blonde figured that Raven thought Lexa was implying it was a weakness.

“I am not suggesting you are,” Lexa replied, her jaw clenched, “we have no idea to know what will happen on the journey, and if your horse should decide to bolt, you have no way of stopping so you may end up injuring yourself.”

“Raven…” Clarke said, a slight warning tone to her voice as she noticed the other Grounders looking at Raven.

Talking back to Lexa as she had was a sign of disrespect, Clarke knew that, heck even Raven knew that, but Clarke knew that Raven didn’t usually have control over what came out of her mouth.

“I guess riding on the cart won’t be so bad…” Raven said, to which Lexa simply nodded.

Clarke let out the breath she hadn’t been aware she was holding before she climbed up onto the horse which Kassius had lead over to her.

“Thanks…” She said.

Kassius climbed onto his own horse, riding alongside Clarke when the blonde girl had assumed he would be riding next to Lexa.

“Did she put you back here to keep an eye on me?” Clarke asked.

“With your friend riding in the cart,” Kassius replied, “it was either Indra or myself who would be riding with you, Heda believed you would be more comfortable with this arrangement.”

“As Indra hates me, it would’ve been a quiet journey.” Clarke said with a small laugh.

“Indra does not hate you.” Kassius replied, “I think she sees the effect you have on Heda, and that alarms her.”

“Just who are you to Lexa?” Clarke asked, glancing over at him.

“I am her advisor.” He said simply.

“There has to be more to it than that…” she replied, “in all the time that I’ve known Lexa, granted it hasn’t been that long, not in real terms, but I’ve never known her to have someone by her side at all times… other than Gustus, but everyone knows how that worked out…”

“Gustus believed he was doing the right thing,” Kassius said, “though I may not agree with his methods, I certainly agree with his intention. Without Heda, the coalition would collapse and our people would all be at war with each other again. Gustus believed that your people would put Heda in danger.”

“I get that,” Clarke said with a nod, “and I understand what he thought he was doing… but he didn’t even give us a chance.”

“A mistake on his part.” Kassius replied.

The ride continued on in silence. Clarke would be lying if she said she didn’t love the forest. There was something about the world around her that terrified her if she was being honest. The fact that something could be so beautiful, yet so dangerous at the same time. With that thought in her head Clarke allowed her eyes to find Lexa. The Commander riding with Luna, they were talking but Clarke was a little too far behind to hear what they were saying. It wasn’t English, but Clarke was sure that she heard her name mentioned more than a few times.

“You never did answer my question…” Clarke said to Kassius, remembering that she still didn’t know just who he was to Lexa.

“Her father was my brother.” Kassius said.

“You’re her uncle?” Clarke asked, looking at him.

Kassius nodded in reply, but said nothing more. Suddenly it made sense, the reason that she had noticed the easiness between the two, the familiarity. They literally were family. Clarke couldn’t help but wonder if Kassius was the only family that Lexa had. The Commander had never mentioned her family to Clarke, but Clarke had never asked.

“What was she like as a child?” Clarke asked, her eyes focused on Lexa as she talked to Kassius.

“Impulsive,” he said with a small laugh, “confident… extremely strong-willed. Much as she is now, though much smaller.”

Clarke laughed as she imagined a mini Heda in her mind, she couldn’t help it.

“She has been through much,” Kassius continued, “as Heda she can have no family, her people are her priority, though for her that is not an issue.”

“So you are her only family?” Clarke asked.

“Yes,” he replied, “though she has some very trusted people around her who have known her most of her life… that is why she did not cast Lincoln out, even after Indra informed her of his choice to return to your people.”

“It wasn’t my people he was returning to,” Clarke replied, glancing back at Lincoln and Octavia, “it was his heart…”

“Something that none of us can run away from for long…” Kassius said with a small knowing smile.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The journey that day had passed without incident and Clarke found herself pretty relaxed as she watched the Grounders arrange the camp for the night in a small clearing. She could tell it had been used many times before as there was a small pit for the fire surrounded by logs which would obviously be used for seating. As she was talking to Lincoln she could feel Lexa watching her. She could always tell when the Commander was watching her, it was almost like something in her soul felt it.

“What would’ve happened if Lexa had decided to cast you out?” she asked Lincoln as he prepared the recently killed boar for the fire.

“I would not be here for starters,” he said with a small laugh, “I would not be welcome in any Grounder village or city. In the past it has been known for people who were cast out to be killed if they were seen again… choosing between my people and yours wasn’t difficult for me Clarke, but now it appears I didn’t have to choose.”

“How’s the boar coming Lincoln?” Luna asked as she walked over to the pair.

“It is just about ready.” He said, moving to carry it to the fire.

Clarke remained where she was sitting, and Luna sat opposite her, just looking at her.

“What?” Clarke asked.

“I was just curious about how your talk went with Kassius during the ride,” Luna replied, her lips curling into a smile, “did he manage to change your mind?”

“Nobody is going to change my mind Luna,” Clarke replied, “it is something I have to do on my own. I need to know I can trust her, somebody telling me I can isn’t going to cut it.”

“What does she need to do?” Luna asked.

“I don’t know…” Clarke said with a small sigh, “I don’t think there is anything that she can do… other than not leave my people to die, again.”

“If it was the other way around,” Luna said, “if you had been given the option of the deal, rather than Lexa, do you really believe that you would have acted differently?”

“Yes.” Clarke replied honestly, “I would. We had an agreement, we had a plan. A plan that would have worked if she would’ve only trusted me.”

“She did trust you Clarke,” the other woman said, “she had to use her head. Her actions saved our people from more bloodshed. Her aim during a war is to get as many of her people back to their families as she can.”

“There were families inside the mountain,” Clarke said, “children… innocent children who had never done anything wrong towards your people or mine. What kind of justification do you have for their deaths?”

“The death of a child can never be justified.” Luna replied with a small sigh, “it is always a risk of war that innocent people will die, children will die. It isn’t something any of us like, but it is a fact.”

“I killed them,” Clarke said, “my actions lead to their deaths. It was horrific… the skin was just burning from their faces… and I did that.”

“You’re not a monster Clarke,” Luna replied quietly, “no matter how much you choose to believe you are. Your actions saved your people. You returned those children to their parents, you put families back together, when all the mountain ever did was tear them apart.”

Clarke stood up, turning away from the small camp she headed towards the trees.

“Clarke,” Luna called after her, “that’s probably not a very good idea.”

Luna sighed and rolled her eyes as Clarke didn’t even slow down.

“Clarke!” she called, still the blonde didn’t stop.

Lexa made her way over to Luna, though her eyes were focused on Clarke’s departing form.

“What did you say to her?” Lexa asked.

“Nothing…” Luna replied.

“She isn’t here to be your play thing.” Lexa said, her anger starting to boil up within her.

“No,” Luna said, “she’s here as the leader of her people, she’s here as someone who is supposed to be working with us, yet you cannot bring yourself to say more than two words to her.”

“You want to walk away…” Lexa said, turning her attention to Luna, “ _now_.”

Luna nodded and walked in the direction of the fire.

“Kassius…” Lexa said, motioning in the direction Clarke had gone, “follow her.”

With a nod, Kassius picked up his sword and followed after Clarke.

Lexa noticed that their small camp had dropped into a very uncomfortable silence, Luna was sitting looking into the flames of the fire, Lexa could see the tension in her body simply by the way she was sitting. Octavia was attempting to avoid eye contact with everyone, Raven looked like she wanted to kill someone, and Lincoln was focusing on the boar that was roasting over the fire. Indra and the rest of their people were acting like they hadn’t heard what had just happened between Lexa and Luna. The Commander simply walked to her tent, hoping that Clarke would see sense and return to the camp before she ran into more trouble, as everyone knew that Clarke seemed to attract trouble.

“You could’ve gone after her you know…” Octavia said, loud enough for Lexa to hear before she reached her tent, “instead of sending someone else to do it.”

“She wishes to be alone,” Lexa replied without looking back, “she does not wish to talk to me.”

“How do you know that if you don’t ask her?” Octavia replied, “You just assume. That’s your problem, you always just assume.”

“Watch your tone.” Luna said to Octavia as Lexa walked into her tent.

“Well someone had to say it.” Octavia said, picking up her sword and walking to the tent she would be sharing with Lincoln.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“I know you’re there Kassius…” Clarke said as she sat on a large rock overlooking a small stream that ran near the camp.

Kassius walked over to where Clarke was sitting, keeping his distance as much as he could, but being there if she decided that she wanted to talk.

“Did she send you after me?” Clarke asked, not taking her eyes from the stream.

“It is not safe out here Clarke,” he replied, “especially not after nightfall. I am here to offer assistance if it is needed.”

“Because Lexa doing that herself is too much to ask…” Clarke said quietly.

“Would you have preferred that?” he asked, looking at the blonde.

“I don’t know…” Clarke replied with a small laugh, “It seems I don’t know much of anything anymore when it comes to Lexa… I can’t trust her, but I can’t hate her either. I should, I really should, but I can’t… do you believe in fate?”

“Something happening for a pre-destined reason?” he asked, to which Clarke nodded, “sometimes… everything happens for a reason, I believe that, but what I don’t know if I believe is, if it was all pre-destined. Things happen that we have no control over, it is up to us to decide how to deal with that. Take, for example, what happened that night on the mountain. You had no way of knowing that the Mountain Men would offer Heda a deal, or that she would take it. That was out of your hands. Other people’s actions have a massive effect on the choices we must then make. I believe that, had Heda chosen differently, it may not have made much difference. The Mountain Men had already put their plan into motion with your people, removing their bone marrow, which they had already started. Would the outcome have been different if Heda had chosen to stay? Would the people who survived be here now if Heda’s actions were different? Those are questions that I do not have the answers to, none of us have those answers because we cannot know what would’ve happened. More people may have died, your people may have died.”

“I never thought about it like that…” Clarke replied, considering what Kassius had just said.

She had never really thought about what may have happened if Lexa had stayed. Never really given much thought as to who would’ve lost their lives if they had stormed the mountain as planned. Her people were already locked away, restrained, tied to the walls or the tables. If they had followed the plan, all those people may be dead, her mother, Raven, her friends.

“We should return,” he said after a while, “unless you wish all the food to be gone by the time we get back.”

Clarke’s stomach made a noise in protest at the idea she may not eat. Laughing a little, she stood up.

“Thank you…” she said to Kassius, “I’ve been so consumed with what happened that I had never thought how it would’ve worked out if Lexa had decided to stay.”

As they were walking back towards the camp Kassius felt he had to tell Clarke something, something that Lexa would hate him for telling her, but he felt that she needed to know.

“Clarke,” he said, causing her to stop and turn back to him, “you have to know that if there had been another way, Heda wouldn’t have left you there on the mountain that night.”

“Yeah…” Clarke said with a small smile and a nod, “I guess part of me does know that…”

And part of her did, part of her knew that if Lexa could’ve guaranteed the survival of all of her people by staying, rather than leaving, then she wouldn’t have left. But the part of her which knew that, was the part of her which she had stopped listening to a month ago. Her heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next part may be posted tomorrow.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a lighter chapter for this story. This is the rest of the journey to Polis, and the arrival. Really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. I can't seem to get the notes at the end of the chapter to go away, so please pay no attention (unless of course you want to review, in which case awesome). Enjoy.

 

When Clarke and Kassius arrived back at camp a short time later, Octavia was back with the group and the food was ready, the only person not around the fire was Lexa.

“Will Lexa be joining us?” Luna asked as the meat was plated up.

“No.” Indra replied coldly.

“I shall take her some food.” Kassius said, taking a plate with him as he walked towards Lexa’s tent.

“May I…?” Clarke asked standing up.

Both Clarke and Kassius ignored the looks they were getting from Indra as Kassius nodded a little and handed Clarke the plate of food for Lexa.

“I do not believe that would be a good idea.” Indra said.

“Well I do not believe that she asked you.” Octavia shot back, receiving a smirk and a slight shake of the head from Luna.

“Is it going to be a problem?” Clarke asked.

“No problem Sky Girl,” Luna said, taking a bite of the meat on her plate, “Indra is just in a bad mood…”

“Isn’t she always…” Octavia replied quietly.

“It’s me that Lexa has a problem with right now, not you.” Luna said to Clarke, ignoring what Octavia had just said to her.

Clarke nodded a little and took the plate Kassius had given her, and her own plate, and walked to Lexa’s tent. The rest of the group turned their attention back to the fire, as Clarke took a deep breath before slowly letting it out.

“Lexa…” Clarke said, not wanting to enter the tent without Lexa’s permission.

“You can come in if you choose to Clarke…” Lexa replied from inside the tent.

Clarke walked into the tent to see Lexa sitting at the small table that was there, she looked up as Clarke walked in.

“Food was ready, and Indra said you wouldn’t be joining us…” Clarke said as she put both plates down on the table.

“You didn’t have to bring me food,” Lexa replied, “Kassius usually does that.”

“If it’s a problem, I can…” Clarke said, motioning back to the entrance of the tent, indicating that she could leave again.

“No,” Lexa said quickly, “it’s okay…”

“Okay…” Clarke replied with a small smile.

“Please,” Lexa said motioning to one of the other chairs at the table, “take a seat.”

Clarke sat down at the table and they both started to eat in silence.

“Did you enjoy your walk?” Lexa asked, breaking the silence which had become uncomfortable.

“I didn’t get very far,” Clarke replied, “I got as far as the stream… I just needed to think.”

“Did Luna upset you?” The brunette asked, looking up from her plate, her eyes meeting the pools of blue which were looking back at her.

“No…” Clarke said with a little laugh, “she… told me a few things that I think I needed to hear actually. I can see why you like her.”

“That’s questionable right now.” Lexa replied, the corners of her mouth curling up into a small smile, “she told me a few things that I probably needed to hear, but didn’t want to.”

“And you didn’t tie her to a tree?” Clarke asked, a small smirk playing on her lips.

Lexa sighed and rolled her eyes, fighting hard to keep the smile from her lips.

“Dramatic…” Clarke said with a laugh.

“Luna and I have a very… different relationship to the one I have with most of my people,” Lexa said, “she gets away with a lot, as Anya did, and Lincoln does… It is not always easy to stop the lines blurring.”

“Is that why you didn’t cast him out?” Clarke asked as she finished her food.

“Maybe…” Lexa replied with a small nod, “maybe I also understood the choice he made, and envied his freedom to do so…”

“The freedom to choose…” Clarke said, her eyes still locked with Lexa’s, “a freedom that everyone should have.”

“Though some of us do not.” Lexa replied with a sigh as she looked down at her now empty plate.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“They haven’t killed each other yet,” Raven said to Octavia as she motioned to Lexa’s tent, “that’s progress right?”

“No shouting or raised voices,” Octavia replied, “also progress.”

Luna looked at the two girls, having heard what they were saying.

“I didn’t talk out of place again,” Octavia said to her, “so don’t give me that look…”

“You both know that anything beyond trust between Lexa and Clarke is going to take a lot of work…” Luna said to them, “it’s not going to be as easy as a normal relationship would be.”

“Who said anything about a relationship?” Raven asked.

“Don’t mind her,” Octavia said to Luna, “she’s still in denial.”

“She left us to die.” Raven replied, “am I the only one remembering that?”

“She had no choice.” Luna said to Raven, “she made the best decision for her people.”

“Right,” Raven said with a nod, “her people, which we are never going to be. We’re not like you.”

“Who we are and who we need to be too survive are two very different things…” Octavia said, echoing something that Bellamy had said previously, “we’ve all made choices we normally wouldn’t to survive, Lexa is no different.”

“She left us to die,” Raven repeated, “that isn’t a choice of survival.”

“How many people did we leave outside the dropship to die?” Octavia asked, “How many people did we leave to die inside the mountain? It’s no different.”

“Whatever…” Raven said, standing up, “I’m going to sleep…”

Octavia watched as Raven made her way to the tent which had been set up for them.

“Her hatred for Lexa runs deeper than the mountain doesn’t it…” Luna said, her eyes following Raven.

“Finn…” Octavia replied, “the idiot who killed 18 people in Tondc, they dated for a long time, he was like family to her. Even got locked up so she wouldn’t get floated… As much as it was Clarke who actually killed Finn, Raven still blames Lexa…”

“Finn killed Finn…” Luna said, standing up, “the minute he pulled his gun out and started shooting innocent people. It wasn’t Clarke, or Lexa, it was Finn. Once Raven understands that it will be easier for her to move past it. Get some rest, tomorrow is going to be a long day and I want you up at dawn to help with the hunt.”

Octavia nodded as Luna went to her own tent.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“What’s going to happen when we get to Polis?” Clarke asked.

“We will arrive at night,” Lexa replied, “I choose not to arrive there during the day, it’s too much of an inconvenience to my people… You and your people will be staying in my compound, I believe it used to be a museum of some kind. It has been the home to every Commander since we took control of the city… it’s safe. You will be free to come and go as you please. The next morning you will be free to question Thelonious, then I will call a meeting of my council to discuss what we do next.”

“How big is this compound of yours?” Clarke asked with a small smile.

“It is very easy to exist there without having to see another person,” Lexa replied with a smile of her own, “each of your people will have their own room, I sent a rider ahead to ensure everything is ready.”

“Anything else I need to know?” the blonde asked.

“The end of our first full day there will probably be marked with a feast,” Lexa said, “not something I insist on, but something that my council believes is necessary to mark my safe return. You do not have to attend, but I would appreciate it if you would consider it.”

“I will certainly think about it.” Clarke replied.

Lexa simply nodded once in reply. Clarke stood up, suddenly feeling very tired.

“I’m going to go to sleep,” she said, stifling a yawn, “I’m suddenly really tired.”

“Sleep well Clarke…” Lexa replied with a small smile as she stood up.

“You too.” Clarke replied as she turned to leave.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

After another peaceful nights sleep Clarke was woken by hushed voices outside her tent. She could tell that it was Octavia and Luna. She got up and walked out of her tent.

“Good morning Princess.” Octavia said with a smile.

“What are you doing awake so early?” Clarke asked, rubbing her eyes as they adjusted to the change in light.

“We were catching breakfast.” Luna said, indicating to the rabbits which were currently cooking over the fire.

“Impressive.” Clarke replied with a nod, “I’m just going to… get cleaned up.”

“Don’t worry,” Luna said, with a smile, “I’ll make sure no one follows you.”

“I appreciate it.” the blonde said with a smile of her own as she turned and headed towards the stream.

While Clarke was getting washed Lexa exited her tent.

“Good morning…” she said as she sat by the fire.

“I’m just going to go… somewhere.” Octavia said as she stood up, feeling the tension between Lexa and Luna.

“You don’t need to leave.” Lexa replied, “but I do need to apologise…”

Octavia sat back down as Lexa looked at the fire.

“I was out of line last night,” she said to Luna, “and I apologise for that.”

“The great and mighty Commander actually accepting she was wrong.” Octavia said sarcastically, unable to help herself, but regretting it as soon as the words had left her lips.

Octavia was sure she was going to be reprimanded by both Lexa and Luna, she closed her eyes and lowered her head waiting for it to happen. A sound she didn’t expect to hear caused her to open her eyes and look at Lexa, she was laughing.

“It has been known to happen,” Lexa said still laughing, “though not very often, and certainly not in public.”

“I take it your talk with Clarke went well last night?” Luna asked, causing Lexa to look at Octavia.

“Oh don’t worry,” the younger girl said, “she’ll tell me anyway.”

“Of course she will,” Lexa said, “I think we started to clear the air, though I am sure she still does not trust me.”

“Just give her a little time,” Octavia replied, “she’s stubborn, ridiculously so sometimes, but she doesn’t hate you. It’s just going to take her a bit of time to realise she can trust you again. Please don’t make her regret it.”

“I don’t intend to…” Lexa said with a small smile.

“Good,” the younger girl said with a nod, “because I would hate to have to hurt you… or try to…”

Lexa and Luna both laughed at that statement, stopping as Clarke returned from the stream.

“Feeling better now Sky Girl?” Luna asked with a smile.

“Much,” Clarke replied, “and can we lose the Sky Girl thing?”

“I like it.” Luna said, “so no.”

“Fine,” Clarke said rolling her eyes a little before she looked at Octavia, “can you fix my hair…?”

“Did I mention she was demanding?” Octavia asked as she looked at the others.

“I’ll do it myself then…” Clarke said, trying to fix the braids in her hair, much to the amusement of the others.

Lexa rolled her eyes and stood up, she walked behind Clarke.

“Sit on the floor and move your hands…” she said.

“I’ve got it.” Clarke replied.

“Sit on the floor and move your hands,” Lexa repeated, “you’re going to look like you fell from a tree and landed in a bush if you keep this up.”

“I can do it for her…” Octavia said to Lexa.

“It’s okay…” Lexa replied.

Clarke did as she was told and sat on the floor, Lexa sat behind her, one leg either side of Clarke as she started to re-braid her hair. Luna nudged Octavia and motioned for her to move, which she did, Luna not far behind her. Leaving Clarke and Lexa alone at the fire. As Lexa started running her fingers through the blondes hair, Clarke immediately started to relax, before she noticed that they had been left alone.

“You could’ve let Octavia do this you know…” Clarke said, fighting the urge to look back at Lexa.

“I could have,” Lexa replied, “but I didn’t…”

“Indra’s going to flip out…” Clarke said with a laugh.

“Quite possibly.” Lexa replied with a laugh of her own, “why did you start wearing your hair like this? It’s a Grounder tradition.”

“It saves time…” Clarke replied with a shrug, “it also keeps my hair out of my face so I don’t have to keep messing around with it at council meetings. It drives Bellamy insane as well, which is also a plus.”

“I don’t think he’s ever going to grow to like my people…” Lexa said.

“He might do, one day…” Clarke said.

“Why did you choose to leave him behind?” Lexa asked, “the truth this time, not what you said at the meeting.”

“The night after you first came to Camp Jaha, he asked me if I seriously thought we could trust you,” Clarke replied, her eyes focused on the fire, “he asked me if I was sure you weren’t just wanting to get us out of the camp so your army could move in and people would be vulnerable. When I told him he could stay there if he was so worried about it, he asked who was going to protect me…”

“You don’t need protecting,” Lexa said quietly, “especially not from me…”

“Not physically, maybe…” Clarke replied just as quietly, thankful when she saw Kassius walk out from his tent.

The big man looked slightly embarrassed by the sight which met him at the fire.

“I apologise Heda…” he said, turning as if he was going to walk back into his tent.

“It’s fine.” Lexa replied, “we’re done here…”

Clarke stood up, soon followed by Lexa.

“Thank you.” Clarke said with a smile, hoping that Lexa hadn’t heard what she had said before Kassius walked from his tent, “you don’t pull half as much as Octavia.”

“I’ve had a lot more practice.” Lexa said with a smile of her own as she started to walk past Clarke, before she quietly added, “I would never do anything to intentionally hurt you…”

Clarke remained standing where she was a she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, to try and calm her heart which felt like it was about to leap from her chest.

As the rest of the camp awoke for breakfast Clarke couldn’t keep her eyes from Lexa’s tent.

“Your hair looks different…” Raven said to Clarke as they were eating, “like it was harder to do, you try something new O?”

“I didn’t do it.” Octavia replied with a mouthful of food.

“If you didn’t do it…” Raven said, looking from Octavia to Luna who shook her head a little, “you’re telling me Commander Superbitch did that?”

“Raven,” Clarke said snapping her eyes to the other girl, “you’re going to be in serious shit if any of them hear you talking like that.”

“She’s already tied me to a tree once…” Raven mumbled, not noticing Lexa walking behind her.

“This time I may not stop.” Lexa said quietly, causing Raven to nearly choke on her food.

Octavia reached over and slapped Raven’s back.

“Thanks…” Raven replied as she glanced back at Lexa who was standing there with a small smirk on her lips and one eyebrow arched slightly.

“Something I said?” Lexa asked.

Raven didn’t say anything as she put her plate down and stood up.

“Suddenly I’m not very hungry…” she said as she moved to walk from the fire.

“I’m not your enemy Raven…” Lexa said, causing Raven to stop and look back slightly, but not say anything before she continued walking towards the cart.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The ride from the temporary camp to Polis was pretty uneventful. Just before the massive city walls came into view Clarke checked the watch which she still always wore. They had been riding for around 15 hours. She could see the lights from the city coming over the walls, which were a mix of metal, wood and concrete. She knew her face must have been a sight to see as Lexa turned to look at her and smiled a little. A set of gates opened in front of them as Lexa and the others climbed down from their horses, Clarke did the same.

“Welcome to Polis…” Lexa said to Clarke as they walked through the gates.

Clarke couldn’t help but look around her as they walked into the city. She could tell that some of the buildings were still standing from before the nuclear war, others had been put back together using whatever materials could be found. There were also smaller buildings which were made out of metal sheeting and wood. Kassius took the reins of the horse from her and took it over to a small stable which was near the gates.

“This is one of the smaller entrances,” Lexa said as she stopped next to Clarke, “less fuss. Come on…”

As they walked Clarke, Raven and Octavia couldn’t stop looking around them, they had never seen anything like this before. It reminded Clarke of cities they had seen in the old movies and television shows they had seen on the Ark. There was light coming from some of the windows, others were dark.

“This is a small entrance?” Clarke asked Lexa as she looked around her.

“I will show you the main entrance tomorrow,” Lexa replied with a smile, “but for now I will show you where you’ll all be staying.”

“Heda…” Indra said, motioning in front of them where a small crowd had gathered.

“Excuse me…” Lexa said to Clarke as she walked towards them.

Clarke stood and watched as some of Lexa’s people welcomed her home with gifts, some of food, others of weaponry, and she thanked them all individually. Clarke felt something pulling on the bottom on her coat, she looked down to see a small child holding a flower up to her. She crouched down, not seeing Lexa turn back and look at her.

“Hi…” Clarke said to the young child.

“Gon yu…” the child said, holding the flower out.

“Mochof…” Clarke replied with a smile as she gently took the flower.

She looked up as she saw Lexa walking over, smiling as she saw the Commander ruffle the young child’s hair.

“Heda.” The child said, looking up at Lexa, a huge smile breaking out on her small face.

Lexa said something to the young girl which Clarke didn’t understand, which caused the girl to laugh before running off back towards the small crowd. Clarke stood up again before they started walking again.

“What did you just say to her?” Clarke asked Lexa as the crowd parted and let them walk past.

“I asked her if she should be awake this late as it’s past her bedtime.” Lexa said with a smile.

Clarke laughed a little as they continued walking, still she couldn’t stop looking around her.

“This place is amazing…” she said.

“You should see it in daylight,” Lexa replied, “and this is a very small part of the city, but it is also the quickest way to get to the compound.”

“Which is where?” Clarke asked, looking at Lexa as she motioned further in front of them.

Clarke saw a huge building come into view, it had at least four floors that she could see, big windows with balcony’s leading from them, every room had light flooding from it.

“Wow…” Clarke said.

Octavia noticed the smile on Lexa’s face as she looked at Clarke rather than the building, which she had obviously seen so many times before. A set of metal gates opened as they approached, instead of the gates closing behind them, they remained open. Clarke looked at Lexa.

“They’re never closed when I’m here…” Lexa explained, “to me they are a barrier which separate me from them, I don’t like them.”

“If Heda had her way they wouldn’t be there at all.” Kassius said as he walked behind them.

“I shouldn’t be placed higher than my people Kassius, you know that.” Lexa replied, looking back at him with a smile.

Clarke noticed that they had walked into a huge courtyard, windows lined the walls on two sides and a huge set of doors stood between two pillars at the far end. Trees were growing at random points, like they had sprung up through the gaps in the concrete.

“If you will excuse me,” Lexa said as they walked through the doors, “Kassius will show you to your rooms, I have something I must attend to.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was sitting on the huge bed which sat in the centre of the room which Kassius had taken her to, after seeing the rooms which the others were sleeping in Clarke thought they could all sleep in one room and there would still be plenty of space. The room she was in had two big windows either side of where the bed was situated, she had already looked out of them and they lead to a balcony which ran the entire width of the room.  The room was big enough that she could’ve taken the room she had on the Ark and put it down in a corner of the room and lost it. It hadn’t taken her long to find out where everything was. There was a small door on the left hand side of the room which lead to a bathroom, with actual hot running water. On the right had side of the room was a wardrobe, which contained clothes, all of which were her size.

“Are you okay Clarke?” Kassius asked from the doorway.

“This… I…” she started to say, unable to get her brain to actually form a whole sentence.

“Raven and Octavia had a similar reaction,” he replied with a smile, “though I think Octavia was more impressed with the weapons that were waiting for her…”

“Lexa didn’t have to do this…” Clarke said with a sigh.

“She wanted to.” He replied.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The first thing Raven noticed, once she was alone in her room, was the box which sat on the bed. Sitting down she slowly lifted the lid, not sure what to expect. Her face dropped when she saw what was inside. It was an armoured leg brace, complete with a raven engraved just below the knee. She stood up and held it to her leg, it was the perfect length, and a lot lighter than she had expected.

“The straps on the inside may need to be altered,” Lexa said from the doorway as she watched Raven, “I had to guess at the size…”

Raven furrowed her brow a little as she felt the tell-tale signs of tears building in her eyes as her breath caught in her throat. She turned her head a little and looked at Lexa.

“Thank you…” she said quietly.

Lexa simply smiled softly, nodded her head a little and walked away.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

After Clarke had taken a hot bath, something she had never expected to experience anywhere on the Earth’s surface, and changed into a new set of clothes, she found that she was no longer tired. She wanted to explore. As she went for a walk she passed Octavia’s room, the door was closed so she didn’t bother knocking, figuring that her friend and Lincoln were busy. Raven’s door was also closed, so Clarke continued walking. Reaching the end of the corridor she found herself back at the staircase, she had a choice, up or down. There was one more floor above the one they were on. She hadn’t seen Lexa since they had arrived, and she had to admit she was curious about where the Commander might be. While she was trying to decide where to go she saw Kassius walking down the stairs towards her.

“I thought you would be sleeping.” He said with a smile.

“This place is amazing,” Clarke said looking around again, “I just couldn’t get my brain to switch off…”

“Heda is upstairs if you wish to talk to her…” Kassius replied with a knowing smile.

“That smile will get you into trouble.” Clarke said with a laugh.

“Quite possibly my young friend.” He said with a laugh of his own before he continued downstairs.

Clarke slowly walked upstairs, not sure what she was going to find. At the top of the stairs was a long corridor, not unlike the one on the floor that she was staying on. All the doors along the corridor were open apart from one, as she walked she glanced into each room. There was what looked like a meeting room, it had a table in the centre which was surrounded by chairs. Another room contained another table which had a giant map on it, from the doorway Clarke could see it was a map of Lexa’s territory, she hadn’t realised just quite how big the area that the Commander controlled was. Further along she found a library, the walls lined with shelves, all stacked high with old books. The final open door lead to what looked like a private room of Lexa’s though Clarke assumed that all the rooms on this floor were Lexa’s this one was different. It contained more books, a few comfortable chairs and an open fireplace with a roaring fire. At the end of the corridor she saw another set of balcony doors, they were wide open. As she walked out she saw Lexa. The Commander was now wearing no armour, and there were no weapons in sight. She was standing with her arms on the balcony, looking out over the city. As the city lights danced across her features Clarke realised that she never seen Lexa look as peaceful as she did in that moment.

“It’s not polite to stare…” Lexa said without turning to look at her, Clarke could see the small smile playing on her lips.

“How did you know I was here?” Clarke asked as she slowly walked over to where Lexa was standing.

“I’m a warrior Clarke…” Lexa replied, “you’re going to need a lot more practice before you can sneak up on me… Plus, you smell like Vanilla. I assume you found the bathroom satisfactory…”

“Best thing ever.” Clarke stated as she stood next to Lexa, both of them looking out over the vast city before them.

Lexa couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her.

“You really didn’t have to go to all this trouble you know…” Clarke said quietly.

“I told you Polis would change the way you think of us.” Lexa replied, glancing over at her, “and I meant it.”

Clarke didn’t say anything as she continued taking in the sight before her.

“It’s really beautiful…” Clarke said finally, not noticing that Lexa was still looking at her.

“Yes…” Lexa replied, “it is…”

Some laughter on the street below them caught both Clarke and Lexa’s attention. They looked down to see a man staggering from one of the buildings.

“What the hell…” Clarke said with a laugh as she watched the guy walk into a wall before apologising.

“That’s Marius,” Lexa said with a laugh, “every night at around this time he leaves the inn, staggers down the street a little, apologises to the wall and…”

The man looked up towards them.

“Beautiful evening Heda.” He called.

“Yes it is.” Lexa called back, “get home safely, don’t fall asleep in the alleyway again.”

“Is your beautiful friend available?” he asked, looking at Clarke.

“I don’t think your wife would like that Marius.” Lexa replied with a laugh.

“And, no,” Clarke replied, “I’m not…”

“That is a shame, he is a very lucky man,” Marius said, before bowing a little to Lexa, “or lady.”

Both girls laughed as he continued his way down the street.

“Is he really like that every night?” Clarke asked as she looked at Lexa.

“Most nights that I can remember, yes.” Lexa replied with a laugh, “he’s a blacksmith by trade, he has created some of the most beautiful weapons I’ve ever seen, it was he who made my sword actually.”

“Nice skills for a drunk…” Clarke said with a laugh of her own.

“Indeed,” Lexa replied, “and over here we have Tobias, and his current… love interest…”

Clarke looked down again as she saw a young guy, must have been no older than 20, dancing down the street with a young woman of around the same age.

“He used to have the biggest crush on Anya…” Lexa continued, “she, of course, wasn’t interested.”

“And what is it that he does?” Clarke asked as she found herself paying more attention to Lexa’s eyes as they danced in the light than the guy on the street.

“Honestly,” Lexa replied glancing at Clarke, a small smile on her lips, “I have no idea.”

“Er…” Clarke said as she cleared her throat a little and looked back over the city, “where did you disappear off to earlier, when we got here?”

“I wanted to go and check that Thelonious was being treated fairly,” Lexa replied, “as I had given you my word that he wouldn’t be beaten…”

“And is he?” Clarke asked looking back to Lexa.

“He’s fine,” Lexa replied, “though he did start ranting on about the end of the world coming, and how I wouldn’t be able to stop it. Though apparently the A.I… A.L.I.E I think it was that he called her, had a place for me…”

“What did he mean by that?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t know, I couldn’t make out much more of what he was saying.” Lexa said with a sigh, “but in the morning you can go and talk to him yourself, though I would like it if Kassius goes with you.”

“Why?” Clarke said, “so you can find out what we’re talking about?”

“No,” Lexa said, “so I know that you’re safe… I don’t want him turning on you Clarke…”

Clarke nodded a little as she yawned.

“I think that’s my cue to go to bed.” The blonde said with a laugh.

“It has been a long day.” Lexa replied, “Sleep well…”

“I may get lost in that bed…” Clarke said with a small laugh as she turned to leave.

“I’ll be sure to send a search party if you miss breakfast.” Lexa replied, before turning once again to watch over her city.

“Or you could always come looking yourself…” Clarke said as she disappeared through the doors.

“Goodnight Clarke…” Lexa said, shaking her head a little.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really not sure what I think of this chapter. I'm a writer who follows where the story takes me and it took me here, not sure if I like it but it is what it is. Like I said on the last part, the notes at the end just won't go away BUT comments would be really helpful on this part. The story starts to really get going, we find out what Jaha wants and what A.L.I.E wants. It's going to really test Clarke in coming chapters. Clexa are getting closer, so your patience is starting to pay off. Enjoy (I hope)

It hadn’t taken Clarke long to fall asleep once she had climbed into the huge bed in her room, and for the first time in what felt like forever she actually dreamt. The nights that she had slept peacefully had been dreamless, but this night was different. When she awoke she felt something inside her telling her that she needed to see Lexa. It wasn’t a want, it was a need. She pushed the feeling aside as she walked out of her room, the whole building seemed to be bustling with activity.

“Breakfast time!” Octavia called to her as she grabbed the blonde’s arm and pulled her towards the stairs.

“I’m right here O,” Clarke said, glancing upstairs as the younger girl pulled her downstairs, “there’s no need to shout.”

“Can you smell that?” Octavia asked, “I have no idea what it is, but I suddenly felt like I haven’t eaten in weeks, that’s a reason to shout.”

“Where do you put all the food you eat?” Clarke asked with a laugh as she and Octavia followed the smells that were filling the air.

Clarke felt that she recognised the smell, but she couldn’t put her finger on it. Her memories took her back to the Ark. Bread. It was fresh bread. She saw Lincoln waiting for them at the entrance to a room on the bottom floor which Clarke hadn’t seen the night before, they hadn’t explored the place very much when they got there. Kassius had pointed rooms out to them as they walked but they hadn’t spent any time looking around.

As they walked into the room Clarke saw more food than she had seen in a while. There was meat, fruit, bread, everything she could think of.

“Please…” A young girl said as she walked over to Clarke, “sit…”

She motioned to a chair, which Clarke sat down in, looking around the table and noticing that everyone but Lexa was there.

“Where’s Lexa?” Clarke asked Lincoln, hoping he would be able to tell her.

“The Commander is always up before the sun,” the young girl who had asked her to sit told her, “she had a meeting this morning with the city Elders. You may see her later.”

Clarke nodded a little as she tried to decide what to eat, another smell caught her attention before she could choose.

“Is that…” she started to say.

“Coffee…” Raven replied, “I think I’m going to like it here.”

While they were eating Clarke glanced outside the doors to the room and saw Lexa talking to Kassius and Indra. She couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but she could see from Lexa’s face she wasn’t happy. Before the Commander turned and walked away, she looked at Clarke, like she could feel the other girl looking at her. Clarke wanted to go and ask her what was wrong, but before she could even move her chair back Lexa was gone, walking back up the stairs in a way which let Clarke know that she didn’t want to be followed.

“What’s up?” Octavia asked, reaching over and grabbing something from Clarke’s plate.

“Nothing…” Clarke replied, slapping her hand, “there’s plenty of food here, get your own.”

Octavia laughed as Kassius walked into the room and over to Clarke.

“How did you sleep?” he asked as he stopped at her side.

“Pretty well…” she said, “where did Lexa go?”

“The Commander has matters to attend to,” Kassius replied, “as do you if you still want to talk to your ex-Chancellor.”

“Yes,” Clarke said with a nod, “I do.”

“I will escort you there.” He said with a small smile.

“If you just point me in the right direction, I’m sure I’ll find him.” Clarke replied as she finished her breakfast.

“Heda insisted that I accompany you.” He said, “she told me you were already aware of that.”

“I don’t need you holding my hand Kassius,” Clarke said, standing up from the table, “I am capable of doing this myself.”

Kassius leant towards her a little.

“That is not why I am coming with you Clarke,” he said quietly, “you know that.”

“I know…” she replied with a sigh, “I know… Lincoln, can you come with us please.”

“What about us?” Octavia asked.

“You’re training with me this morning.” Luna said to Octavia, “Heda’s orders.”

“And me?” Raven asked, looking at Clarke.

“Can you see if you can get in contact with Camp Jaha,” Clarke said, “let them know we got here okay and see if everything is good there?”

“Yeah,” Raven said with a nod, “sure…”

“Heda would like to see you when you have a moment Raven.” Kassius said, “she will be upstairs in her planning room.”

“Planning room?” Raven asked.

“Third door along on the left hand side,” Clarke said, “top floor. You can’t miss it, it’s got a huge ass map on the table in the centre of the room…”

Everyone looked at her, obviously wondering how she knew that. Clarke just looked at Kassius and nodded a little, letting him know she was ready to go.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke and Lincoln followed Kassius down the stairs at the back of the building, they lead to a long dark corridor, the walls were damp and Clarke was sure she could see something crawling along the floor.

“What is this place…?” she asked Lincoln.

“This is where political prisoners are kept…” Lincoln replied, talking in a hush, “anyone who is viewed as a threat to the coalition or Heda…”

“I thought anyone like that was just killed on the spot.” Clarke replied, Kassius obviously listening to them, but trying not to intrude on the conversation.

“Not everyone.” Lincoln said, “people who hold information are kept down here… once the information is retrieved from them, they are taken up the stairs at the side there…”

He motioned to a big metal door a little further down the corridor.

“Then what?” Clarke asked.

“Those stairs lead out to a raised platform in the centre of a large public square,” Lincoln explained, “then whatever sentence has been passed is carried out…”

“So people are tortured down here, then killed up there?” Clarke asked.

“If they live that long,” Lincoln said, “yes. The last execution was about 6 months ago if I remember rightly…”

“And what had the person done to deserve it?” Clarke asked.

“They were here to kill Heda.” Kassius replied, stopping in front of a cell, he motioned beyond the bars and Clarke could see Jaha.

“Clarke…” Thelonious said, walking over to the bars, “I see the Commander has finally seen sense and is having me released.”

“Not exactly,” Clarke replied, “I’m here to talk to you.”

“Where is your mother?” he asked.

“Back at camp.” Clarke said, eyeing the man who stood before her.

He had a cut just under his left eye, and walked with a slight limp.

“I need to speak with her,” he said, “I have important news.”

“Then speak with me.” Clarke said.

“Only your mother can agree to this Clarke,” he said, “as the leader of our people.”

“My mother is no longer Chancellor,” Clarke replied, “she no longer makes those decisions.”

“Marcus finally convinced her to return power to him?” Jaha asked.

“Not exactly…” she replied.

“Clarke is now the elected leader of the Sky People,” Lincoln said to him, “any information you have has to be told to her.”

“You?” Jaha asked, “but you’re just a child.”

“So people keep telling me,” Clarke said, “I was elected…”

“Almost unanimously.” Lincoln added, Clarke was sure she could hear a little pride in his voice at that fact.

“I refuse to talk to you while these… people are here.” Jaha said, looking at Kassius and Lincoln.

“Then you remain here.” Clarke replied, moving like she was going to walk away.

“Wait.” Jaha said, reaching his hand out of the bars and grabbing Clarke’s wrist.

Kassius had his sword drawn before Clarke even realised what was happening.

“Remove your hand, or I will remove it for you.” Kassius said, causing Jaha to let go of Clarke’s arm.

“The news I have is important.” Jaha said to Clarke.

“So start talking…” the blonde replied, crossing her arms over her chest as she turned back to face him.

“The city I found,” he said, as he started walking around his cell, “it is beautiful Clarke. There is space there for every one of our people. Somewhere we can live, thrive, away from the threats that the Grounders pose to us.”

“The Grounders are not a threat to us,” Clarke replied, “a lot has changed since you’ve been gone.”

“But we can live there in peace Clarke,” he said, “somewhere to call our own, under our own rule, our own laws.”

“What’s the catch?” Clarke asked, “nothing like that is ever given without some kind of catch… a nuclear warhead maybe…”

“You know about that?” he asked.

“I suspected,” she replied, “you just confirmed it.”

“It would be the restart of civilisation,” he said, “a fresh start, with none of the imperfections currently faced. Our people have been chosen Clarke, chosen to keep the lines of humanity going. The best and the brightest…”

“You’re insane.” Clarke replied, “we do not get to decide who lives and who dies, not like that.”

“I’ve seen the future,” Jaha said, his arms raising a little, “the future we all want. Free from threats, free from violence.”

“Under the rule of a crazy A.I.” the blonde said, “what happened to the people who previously lived in the city?”

He didn’t answer her, he just looked at her.

“All the people who used to live in that city Thelonious,” Clarke said, “what happened to them?”

“They were impure.” He replied, “they were greedy, thinking of nothing but themselves. They did not see the world as it should be seen.”

“I’ve heard enough.” Clarke said to Kassius, indicating that she was ready to leave, before she looked back at Jaha, “we’re all impure, it’s what makes us human.”

“We can save our people Clarke,” he said, “we can save them.”

“My people don’t need saving.” She replied, “we’re doing pretty well as we are.”

“You cannot trust her Clarke,” Jaha said as Clarke started to walk away, “she will betray you, she will lead you into the fire and you will all die.”

“He really is crazy…” Lincoln said as they made their way back down the corridor the way they had come.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke found her way out to the training ground near the Commanders compound, as she arrived there she could see Octavia getting flung over a pretty large Grounder’s shoulder and thrown down into the mud. Clarke’s bones ached at the sound the younger girl’s body hitting the mud made. She looked at Luna as the big Grounder raised his arms above his head as he turned to face his friends. She saw a smirk on Luna’s face before looking back to Octavia as she kicked out both her legs, locking them around the Grounder’s right leg she brought him down face first into the mud.

“Come to get dirty Sky Girl?” Luna asked, glancing to her before she looked back at Octavia, “Octavia, get up, go again.”

Octavia didn’t argue as she pushed herself up from the ground and turned to once again face the Grounder who now had blood running from his nose.

“You know you’re bleeding right.” She taunted with a smirk.

“Just spectating…” Clarke said to Luna with a laugh.

“You’re not the only one.” Luna replied, moving her head slightly, motioning to the compound behind them.

Clarke looked back to see Lexa standing on one of the balcony’s watching what was happening in the training ground. Though Lexa wasn’t watching the training ground, she was looking at Clarke. As soon as their eyes met, Lexa looked away, her eyes narrowing as she once again focused on the fight Octavia was having.

“I think I might join in actually…” Clarke said to Luna who just arched an eyebrow as she looked back at her.

“Showing off is not going to score you points Clarke.” Luna replied.

“Who said anything about showing off?” Clarke asked with a laugh, she pulled Luna’s sword from the sheath at her side, “can I borrow this?”

Luna nodded slightly before indicating to Clarke that the floor was hers.

“Octavia,” Luna said, “time for your next… opponent.”

Octavia turned and looked at Clarke, a smile appearing on her lips as Clarke walked towards her, the rest of the Grounders all stepped back, giving them more space. Clarke started to spin the sword in her hand.

“You realise how unfair this is right,” Octavia said to Luna, “Lincoln has been training her.”

Luna smiled a little, she hadn’t been expecting that.

“I thought you were more fond of your gun Sky Girl.” She said to Clarke.

“Never know when you’re going to run out of bullets right.” Clarke replied, her eyes still locked on Octavia.

“You know we have an audience right…” Octavia said quietly to Clarke, her eyes flicking up at the balcony where Lexa was still standing.

“I know…” Clarke replied, dropping down into a fighting stance, “you ready?”

“For you Princess?” Octavia asked, getting in her own fighting stance, “always.”

Octavia stepped forwards first, her feet were pretty quick, her sword raising above her head as she moved. Clarke stepped out of range easily, turning as she did, bringing Luna’s sword round and catching Octavia in the back. There was no force to it, so no damage was done. Clarke smirked a little as Octavia turned around and looked at her.

“Nice…” Octavia said, grabbing another sword from the floor as she moved, “let’s see how you are against two blades.”

Octavia started to spin the blades, as she and Clarke circled each other, the blonde girl looking for a gap through which she could strike. Luna glanced up at Lexa, she saw the Grounder Commander was focused intently on what was happening. Her jaw was clenched and her eyes narrowed. Luna found herself saying a silent prayer to the gods that Octavia wouldn’t hurt Clarke in some way, she didn’t want to have to stop the confrontation that would follow. Clarke stepped forward, her blade coming down towards Octavia’s head, the younger girl stopping it with the two blades she held. As Octavia lifted her swords, she twisted them to the right, causing Clarke to let go of the sword or risk a broken wrist. As Octavia brought her blades back to the left, Clarke ducked down, swinging her right leg out, knocking Octavia’s legs out from under her. Clarke continued her movement, reaching out and grabbing the sword from the floor which had been in her hands just moments before. Octavia was already on her feet again by the time Clarke stood up fully. Her sword moments from coming down towards Clarke’s neck, the blonde side stepped around her, taking the small blade from where it was always kept at Octavia’s back she brought her sword up to Octavia’s throat and the smaller blade to her side.

“You’re dead.” Clarke said quietly in Octavia’s ear.

“How is that fair.” Octavia said as Clarke stepped back and she turned to face her, “you’re so not allowed to use someone’s own blades against them.”

Clarke looked past Octavia to Luna, a questioning look on her face.

“You use whatever you have to hand,” Luna said, “even if it’s not your own blade.”

“So I could’ve just grabbed this…” she said, stepping forwards towards Clarke and grabbing the gun from the holster at Clarke’s hip before turning and bringing it up to point at Clarke head, “and she’d be dead.”

“I would be…” Clarke said, reaching her hand into her own pocket and taking out the magazine for the gun, “if it was loaded.”

“Why isn’t your gun loaded?” Octavia asked, handing it back to her.

“I didn’t trust myself not to shoot Jaha…” Clarke replied, taking the gun and clicking the magazine back in place.

Luna again found herself looking towards Lexa, something in the Commanders eyes let her know that she wasn’t amused.

“You should always be armed Clarke.” Luna said, “an empty gun is a useless weapon.”

“I had a weapon with me.” Clarke replied, “his name is Kassius.”

“Again?” Octavia asked Clarke.

“No,” the blonde girl replied, shaking her head, “I think I’m done.”

“I’ll fight you Sky Girl…” One of the Grounders said stepping forwards.

“I already told you…” Octavia said, stepping towards him.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” he said, cutting her off, “I was talking to her.”

He pointed his blade at Clarke.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke hissed as Raven cleaned up the cut to her side.

“Seriously,” Raven said, “hold still.”

“Hold still?” Clarke asked looking at her, “what the fuck is that shit?”

“Shit your mother uses to stop cuts getting infected,” Raven said looking at the bottle she was holding, “some kind of alcohol I think.”

“A little warning would be nice.” Clarke replied.

“I had a bullet removed from my back with no anaesthetic and you’re complaining over this?” Raven asked.

“We can’t all be as badass as you Raven…” Clarke said, twitching again as Raven attempted to clean the cut.

“What were you thinking Clarke,” Raven said, “that guy was like 7 foot tall.”

“The bigger they are, the harder they fall right?” Clarke asked with a laugh.

“Well Kassius did say he’ll be eating his meals in liquid form for a while,” Raven replied, “and he did need the healer to put 26 stiches in his leg. Did you really cut him from ankle to thigh?”

“It was stupid.” Lexa said from the doorway.

“It was training…” Clarke replied, glancing sideways at her before focusing back on the wall in front of her.

“He was trying to kill you, Clarke.” Lexa said as she walked into the room.

“Yeah, well he didn’t.” Clarke said, closing her eyes and clenching her jaw slightly.

“Now who’s trying to look tough in front of the Commander?” Raven whispered in her ear.

“Raven…” Lexa said.

“Yeah.” Raven replied looking at Lexa who motioned towards the door, “right.”

“You’re not finished.” Clarke said to Raven as she put the small cloth she was using back into the bowl of water next to Clarke.

“Apparently I am.” Raven said, “Sorry Clarke.”

Lexa smiled a little at Raven as she left the room, a smile which Raven returned.

Clarke moved to pull the side of her top down as she heard the door closed.

“That will get infected,” Lexa said as she walked up next to her, “it needs to be cleaned properly.”

“I’ll get Nyko to look at it.” Clarke replied as she felt Lexa’s hand stop hers as she winced when the cloth of her top touched the cut.

Clarke lifted the side of her top back up again, and said nothing as Lexa took the small cloth from the bowl and started to clean the cut.

“It really was stupid.” Lexa said when the silence became too much.

“If I’d have said no what would that have been?” Clarke asked, “Can’t have your people thinking I’m weak, can I…”

“It would not have been weakness Clarke.” Lexa replied, “It would have been common sense.”

“I can never win with you…” Clarke said, her words spilling out before she could stop them.

“This is not a game Clarke…” Lexa replied, “injuries in training are common, this type of injury isn’t. This is an injury with intent. He intended to hurt you.”

“As I intended to hurt him,” Clarke replied, “and last I checked I hurt him more than he hurt me. I still have my teeth.”

Lexa couldn’t stop the small laugh.

“And I have to explain to the Ice Nation general why one of his best fighters is enjoying his food in liquid form.” Lexa said with a sigh, “something which I am not looking forward to.”

“He started it.” Clarke muttered.

“You sound like a child.” Lexa said.

“Well he did,” Clarke said, turning her head to look at Lexa, “he challenged me, after all.”

“Would you have accepted his challenge if I had not been watching?” Lexa asked.

Clarke didn’t answer, she just looked back at the spot on the wall which she had been focused on. She felt Lexa put a bandage over the cut, securing it in place with some of the surgical tape that her mother had put in the first aid pack she had sent with them.

“You do not need to impress me Clarke.” Lexa said quietly as she moved Clarke’s top back down again.

The next thing Clarke knew Lexa was gone and she was alone in her room.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke had decided to return to talk to Jaha, before the meeting she knew she had to attend with Lexa and the Council. She figured he would be more open to talk if she went alone so she hadn’t told Kassius or Lincoln where she was going. As she made her way back down to the cell she had her hand on the butt of her gun, finding comfort in the weapon in a way she hadn’t done for a while. She hated that gun, the lives she had taken with it, but right now she was happy she had it and it was loaded.

“I did not expect you to return.” Jaha said to her as he walked up to the bars of the cell.

“I’m trying to understand why you believe that this is the best thing for our people.” Clarke replied, “and I’m also trying to understand what happened to the man I once knew.”

“It is the best thing for our people because it is the safest thing for our people.” he said, “The city is the perfect place for us, and we can live there with no worries…”

“As long as we follow the rules set out for us by an A.I…” Clarke said, leaning against the wall opposite the cell, “we would not be ruling ourselves.”

“It is not what you think,” Jaha said, smiling softly at her, “we will be the continuation of the human race. The Grounders, these people, they are savages Clarke, you of all people should understand that. They wanted to kill us simply because we wanted to exist. This is not the way life was intended to be.”

“Who decides who lives and who dies?” Clarke asked, “you?”

“No,” he said with a laugh, “all I know is our people will be safe.”

“And when she decides to detonate that bomb?” Clarke asked, “then what?”

“We will be safe.” He repeated, “she requests only one thing in return.”

“What?” Clarke asked.

“She wants the Commander.” He replied, “to question her.”

“Why Lexa?” Clarke asked, feelings a slight sick feeling rise in the pit of her stomach.

“She is the pinnacle of her people,” he said, “A.L.I.E has watched, for generations, as leaders tried and failed to unite the 12 clans. The Commander is the only one who succeeded. She watched as the Queen of the Ice Nation killed all those closest to Lexa, and still Lexa did not fail. She does not understand why someone would continue on through that pain, she believes that the Commander may have something to offer our future world order. She has an emotional strength matched only by her physical one. For peace for our people to be guaranteed, she requires only the Commander.”

“What do you mean she’s watched for generations?” Clarke asked, pushing herself away from the wall a little.

“She sees all Clarke,” he said, the smile on his face was one that Clarke didn’t recognise from the man she once knew, “The Grounders were never a threat to her ideas before, because they simply continued to fight amongst themselves. Then Lexa was called to lead her people, and all that changed. It’s evolution Clarke. Animals evolve, the strongest and smartest surviving. Grounder Commanders do not usually have a very long lifespan, most dying before they turn 20. The Earth has not been at this stage since before the nuclear war. Nobody was able to unite the 12 clans, Lexa did that. This entire continent is close to being united under one ruler. There is no other army which can come close to the size of the one the Commander controls. But they are not evolved enough to use technology, that is our weapon Clarke. They fear it.”

“With good reason.” Clarke said, “For them, technology is a symbol of the Old World, a catalyst in the destruction of this planet.”

“Yet for us,” he said, “it is our greatest hope.”

“She isn’t going to let us live,” Clarke said as she walked closer to the bars, “if you really believe that, you are even crazier than I thought. She wants absolute power, complete control. She wants an army of people who will bow down to her every demand, and never question it. Right now all that she has over us is a nuclear weapon. One. If and when she learns how to replicate that weapon… My people will not be brainwashed into following her orders, we will not become a race of machines, and I will not let her have Lexa.”

“You cannot win Clarke,” he called after her, “she is close to finding a way to communicate with Camp Jaha, appealing directly to your people. You should have left the technology in the mountain where it belonged!”

Clarke tried her best to ignore his rambling as she walked, reminding herself that desperate people will say anything in desperate situations.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right. This is a long one, nearly 9K words. The music I had in my head for the dancing (read it) is kind of like the Zion party scene in Matrix Reloaded. I know that parts of it will seem OOC but please just stick with it. It took a heck of a lot for me to write this, so I would really appreciate the feed back. Hopefully you enjoy it.

 

Clarke knew she needed to talk to Lexa before the Council meeting, she knew that Lexa needed to know what Jaha had told her. If this alliance was going to hold, if they were going to work together to stop A.L.I.E and ensure a safe future for both of their people she had to talk to her. But she wasn’t sure she could. Not knowing how Lexa was going to react to the news was one thing that was stopping her. Another thing was knowing that Lexa was going to be angry that she had gone to speak to Jaha alone, when she had specifically asked her to take Kassius with her. The blonde knew that even if she explained to Lexa how she had stayed away from the cell, hadn’t got to close to the bars, it still wouldn’t make any difference and Lexa would still be angry.

As she made her way towards the stairs she saw Kassius waiting for her, the look on his face let her know that he knew where she had been.

“Does she know…?” Clarke asked him as she stopped with her foot on the bottom step.

“No.” He replied, “though you should tell her.”

Clarke nodded as she sighed and walked up the stairs. She knew if she didn’t tell Lexa, then he would. It was his duty not to keep anything from her and Clarke knew that. She didn’t want to put him in the position of having to keep anything from his Commander. Instead of following the stairs up to the top floor she decided to go and see Raven first, needing to know if the other girl had been in touch with their people.

Raven was sitting at the table in her room, Clarke couldn’t see what she was doing, but she knew that Raven was busy with whatever it was. She knocked on the door, causing Raven to jump as she turned around to look at her.

“You and Lexa seem to be getting along better…” Clarke said as she walked into the room.

“We have an… understanding,” Raven replied, turning her attention back to whatever it was that was sitting on the table, “I still don’t know if I trust her.”

Clarke nodded a little, remembering that Raven wasn’t looking at her, she walked towards the table. She saw that Raven was working on another radio, this one looked even more beat up than the one they had at Camp Jaha.

“Where did you get that?” Clarke asked.

“There’s a whole room full of this shit,” Raven said, her brow furrowed together as she concentrated on the mess in front of her, “Lexa said its stuff that was salvaged or found by her people. She has no idea how long most of it has been sitting there, and most people don’t even know it still exists… That’s what she wanted to talk to me about, she wanted to see if I could get this working…”

“And can you?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t know…” Raven replied, “It’s seriously old, I’d need to work in some kind of power source or something… I’ll give it a shot though. So, what can I do for you Clarke? You come to tell me you hate me for leaving you with Lexa earlier?”

“No…” Clarke said with a small laugh, “Though I wasn’t happy about that.”

Raven shrugged a little.

“I wanted to see if you’ve managed to contact the camp.” Clarke continued.

“I spoke to Bellamy,” Raven said, with a sigh, putting down the screwdriver she held in her hand as she turned and looked at Clarke, “he said that everything’s fine. Your mother is trying to assert her authority as you’re not there, but he and Kane have reminded her that you didn’t leave her in charge…”

“What are you not telling me?” Clarke asked, knowing when Raven was keeping something from her.

“You remember that stuff we got from Mount Weather,” Raven replied, “the computers, the monitors, the communications systems that we had no idea what to do with…?”

Clarke nodded a little, letting her know she could continue.

“Well Wick and Monty have been working on seeing if any of it can be made to work in the camp,” Raven said, “they’ve been trying to get some of it worked into the already fried electrics on the Ark. You remember the intercom systems that we had in space, well they think they can get all that working again. It would make life easier… but they had a problem. When they set up the system, they’ve been getting a lot of static, couldn’t figure out what it was to start with… Clarke, it’s like someone is trying to communicate with them. What if another section of the Ark survived when they fell to Earth?”

“It didn’t…” Clarke said with a sigh, “we know it didn’t Raven, we would’ve heard something by now.”

“The world is a big place Princess,” Raven said, “maybe they landed on a different continent, maybe that’s why we haven’t found them yet. I mean, if Lexa and her people have managed to survive here, what’s to say that other people across the world didn’t do the same…We did find some shit in Mount Weather that kind of indicated that was the case.”

“Of course it’s possible,” Clarke replied, “but how likely is it that Lexa wouldn’t know. She would’ve told us by now.”

“Yeah, I guess…” Raven said, running her hand through her hair, “but if it’s not our people trying to talk to us, who is it?”

“The A.I.” Clarke said, noticing how Raven’s eyes lit up again, “A.L.I.E… that’s what Jaha called her.”

“Why would she be trying to contact us?” Raven asked, “Obviously Jaha was supposed to make it back to camp, but what can we possibly have that she wants?”

“I’m not sure yet…” Clarke replied, “I do know that Kane was right about her wanting to end the human race…”

“What if…” Raven said, “nah, that’s impossible…”

“What?” Clarke asked.

“What if she was somehow involved in the first nuclear war…?” Raven said, “I mean, I remember reading something, some old newspaper thing in history class. Nobody took responsibility for the first bomb. No one. Back then all the launches would’ve been done via a computer, a closed system that somehow incorporated launch codes and triggers and… are you keeping up?”

“Surprisingly, yes.” Clarke replied with a laugh, as she leant against the table.

“So what if,” Raven continued, “maybe, she found a way to launch a nuke. She’s an A.I… her neural capacity is going to be endless. Anything that she can think about she’d be able to make happen once she had figured out how to do it. That’s what makes A.I’s so dangerous, and so different to a V.I. A Virtual Intelligence has a limited capacity to learn, they learn what you teach them, what you program into them. An A.I has its own thought process, independent of what someone programs them with. You give them a basic knowledge, and from that basic knowledge they evolve. We learn, that’s what our brains are for, but we’re tied into a very human set of rules. An A.I doesn’t have that. There are no rules, there are no constraints… It was a race to see who could create the first A.I, the first fully independent thought process, something that could learn and evolve at such a rate we could only ever dream of. Whoever created her wouldn’t have been able to control her for long, probably wouldn’t have been able to shut her down either. As something with an independent thought process, she would’ve considered the fact that one day she may be shut down, and she would’ve taken steps to prevent that… If she launched that first weapon Clarke… All it took was one, and everyone retaliated for that, accusing the other of dropping it first… For an A.I the world we had wasn’t perfect, and to her that would be a concept that she couldn’t understand. It would be… illogical so to speak…”

“Something that makes no sense to her…” Clarke said, “So she tried to change it, to make it fit into the ideals that she was originally programmed with…”

“Yes,” Raven said with a smirk, “but then that wouldn’t work, because humans are driven by something she has no concept of. We have feelings, emotions, she doesn’t. She would see a problem to solve, and she’d solve it. Sure billions of people would die, but to her that would be a worthwhile cost. She was attempting to make a perfect world, no war, no fighting… and she failed. She’s going to try again isn’t she?”

“Yeah…” Clarke said with a nod, “I think she is…”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Talking to Raven hadn’t made her decision to talk to Lexa any easier. Lexa liked facts, not speculation. Clarke had no idea what A.L.I.E was planning, not really, but her chat with Raven had seriously made her think about it. She walked up the stairs to find Lexa, with no idea where she would be. It didn’t take long to find her, she just followed the raised voices. Luna and Lexa were obviously disagreeing about something. Clarke walked quietly towards the planning room where the voices were coming from. Stopping a short distance from the door she listened. She knew she shouldn’t be listening to what they were saying, but she just couldn’t help it. Luna was one of the only people that Clarke knew of who could get away with talking to Lexa the way she did, and the blonde had a feeling that she was about to find out just how much Luna could get away with.

“Well answer me this,” Luna said, “have you been with anyone else since you met her?”

“No…” Lexa replied.

“Lexa, in the two years since we lost Costia I know you’ve taken others into your bed,” Luna said, “it’s part of being human, and a warrior, we all have those needs which need to be met. Yet since that girl fell from the Sky are you telling me that you haven’t?”

“It’s not that simple…” Lexa said, “I wish it was, but it isn’t.”

“Can you see yourself being with anyone but her?” Luna asked.

“No…” Lexa replied.

“Then…” the other girl said.

“It is not that simple,” Lexa said, Clarke could tell she was getting agitated just by the change in the way she was talking, “she is not one of us. It wouldn’t be like going to the feast tonight and deciding that I want her in my bed. Our people wouldn’t question it if it was, like you said, we all have needs that need to be met… She isn’t someone I can order around, she isn’t someone who I want to order around…”

“She’s the leader of her people Lexa,” Luna replied, “if anything she’s your equal. A relationship between you two would bridge the gap between our people and hers. It would create an alliance that even Indra wouldn’t be able to disagree with…”

“It’s just not…” Lexa started to say.

“That simple,” Luna replied, “yes you said that. So make it that simple. You want to be with this girl, then be with her. You’re different when she’s around Lexa, she brings something out in you that I haven’t seen in so long… make it that simple.”

Clarke heard footsteps leading towards the door, Luna was leaving the room. Clarke tried to make it look like she had just arrived as Luna walked from the room.

“Have you seen Lexa?” she asked, knowing that she wasn’t fooling Luna for a second.

Luna just tilted her head a little towards the planning room before she walked away towards the stairs.

Clarke walked to the door. Lexa was standing with her hands gripped onto the back of edge of the table, her head was lowered and her back was to Clarke.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked walking closer to Lexa.

The other girl nodded, lifting her head, but not looking at Clarke.

“Lexa…” Clarke said, raising her hand a little, moving it towards the other girls arm.

“Don’t…” Lexa said, her jaw clenched, “please…”

Clarke stepped back again, she was struggling to remember when she had heard Lexa say that word. It seemed that ‘please’ wasn’t a usual part of the Commanders vocabulary, and it sounded so alien falling from her lips.

“Kassius tells me that Jaha wasn’t very forthcoming with any information.” Lexa said as she walked to the window, still not looking at the blonde girl.

“Not the first time I talked to him…” Clarke replied.

“You went back to talk to him?” Lexa asked, finally turning to look at Clarke, who simply nodded in reply, “alone?”

“Yes.” Clarke said, “Alone, I thought he might tell me a little bit more without an audience.”

“Clarke, I asked you not to go and talk to him alone.” Lexa said.

“No, you told me not to,” Clarke replied with a sigh, “you never ask me anything Lexa…”

“I explained to you…” Lexa started to say, turning her back to Clarke again as she looked out of the window.

“I know,” Clarke replied, “and I didn’t go near the cell, I stood out of his reach. I just needed to know what is going on.”

“And what did he tell you?” Lexa asked, trying to keep her voice as calm and steady as she could, she didn’t want to argue with Clarke.

“Kane was right when he said she wanted to end the human race,” Clarke said, “continuing it with a few…”

“Your people…” Lexa said, “She would continue it with your people…”

“Yes.” Clarke replied, walking closer to where Lexa was standing.

“How immediate is the threat?” Lexa asked, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.

“I don’t know.” Clarke said honestly, “he didn’t give me a timeframe. He said that the A.I was trying to contact my people, using the technology we got from the Mountain. I spoke to Raven and she told me that Wick and Monty said something about someone trying to contact them, but all they’ve got so far is static…”

Lexa looked at Clarke who was now leaning with her back against the table, facing Lexa.

“Static?” Lexa asked.

“Like white noise,” Clarke explained, “nothing they can make sense of, it’s just noise. He also told me that the A.I had been watching you…”

“Me?” The Commander asked, “Why would she be watching me?”

“You interest her,” Clarke replied, looking down at the table as she talked, not wanting to see the look in Lexa’s eyes as this part of the conversation continued, nor did she want Lexa to see the look in hers, “he said that she had been watching your people for generations, watched as you fought amongst yourselves, posing no threat to her or her plans… Then you came along and united the 12 clans. He said something about how most Commanders don’t live past 20…”

“It is a… dangerous and often short-lived occupation…” Lexa said with a sad sort of laugh, “every war I face may be my last. It is something that I’m used to. But my uniting the clans does not explain why she is interested in me.”

“She’s interested in what makes you tick,” Clarke said, “Jaha said she watched as the Queen of the Ice Nation killed all of those you care about, how that should’ve made you give up, but it didn’t. It’s your strength that interests her Lexa, what makes you fight on when most people would’ve just given up. Her mind doesn’t work in the same way a humans mind does…”

Clarke tried to remember what Raven had told her, about how an A.I’s thought process was different.

“We are led by feelings and emotions,” she continued, “she isn’t. As a program, something that was created, she doesn’t have either, nor does she understand them very well. She sees them as an imperfection.”

“A weakness…” Lexa replied.

“Yes…” Clarke said, raising her eyes from the table, immediately seeing the intensity in the green eyes which looked back at her.

“Then she and I may have something in common after all…” Lexa replied quietly.

“Your feelings are not a weakness, Lexa,” Clarke said, stepping forward away from the table, closer to the girl who was in front of her, “your feelings are what make you fight. The loss that you’ve felt, the pain that you’ve felt, it’s what pushes you forward. It’s what drives you to want to create a better life for your people. That isn’t weakness.”

Lexa clenched her jaw as she felt her eyes start to burn, looking up at the ceiling in an attempt to fight it.

“Heda…” Kassius said from the doorway, causing both girls to jump as neither knew he was there.

“What?” Lexa asked, swallowing hard as she closed her eyes and shook her head a little.

“The Council will be arriving soon.” He said

Lexa nodded and moved to walk past Clarke towards the door.

“Do I need to be there?” Clarke asked.

“Yes.” Lexa replied without stopping or looking back.

“You may want to change your clothes.” Kassius said to Lexa.

“You mean they wouldn’t find the blood and dirt appealing?” Clarke asked with a small smile.

“Did it go well?” he asked, obviously talking about Clarke telling Lexa she had been to see Jaha alone.

“Not really,” Clarke said walking towards the door, “didn’t expect it to, but she didn’t argue about it, so that’s progress.”

As Clarke walked from the room she looked around the corridor a little to see if she could see where Lexa went, the door at the far end of the corridor, nearest the balcony, was again closed, Clarke assumed that is where the Commander was. With a sigh she went back to her own room, getting changed before the meeting with the Council. She had no idea what to expect, but she certainly wasn’t looking forward to it.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Kassius had escorted Clarke to the room where the meeting would take place, it was on the ground floor, not far from the room where they had eaten breakfast that morning. Everyone else was already there, Clarke counted 10 people, not including Lexa. They were sitting in a circle of chairs talking in Trigedasleng when she walked in. Kassius walked with her over to the empty seat which was next to Lexa. Clarke was hoping that at least some of the meeting would be in English, as her Grounder certainly wasn’t good enough to make sense of at least half of what they were saying.

“Sorry I’m late…” Clarke said quietly to Lexa.

“You’re not late.” Lexa replied glancing over at her.

Clarke just nodded a little in reply.

“Why is she here?” One of the people around the circle asked.

“Because I asked her to be.” Lexa replied coldly.

“She is not one of us Heda.” He replied.

“This threat affects the Sky People just as much as it does us,” Lexa said, “and we cannot fight it without their help.”

Nobody else said a word as they looked around the circle.

“Luna, would you explain to everybody why I called this meeting.” Lexa said.

“Yes, Heda.” Luna replied, moving from where she had been standing, leaning against the wall, Clarke hadn’t even noticed she was there, “this meeting will be conducted in English, if anyone has a problem with that, or needs a translator speak now.”

Again nobody said anything as Luna walked through the small gap between Clarke and the man sitting next to her into the centre of the circle.

“Two weeks ago I was informed by a team of scouts that there was movement beyond the Dead Zone,” Luna said, “we had seen people crossing that area a matter of weeks before, people from Clarke’s camp. They did not stray close to any of my villages, so they were left alone. As we all know the area between Heda’s territory and the Dead Zone is marked by mines, we know that at least 3 people made it across, venturing beyond the water to the City of Light.”

Clarke noticed that a mutter went around the circle at the mention of the City of Light.

“A large bomb had recently been discovered in that area,” Luna continued, “we had no way of knowing what kind of bomb it was, until Heda contacted the Sky People. We believe that it was brought to the surface from the sky.”

Luna looked at Clarke, as did everyone else and she nodded a little to confirm what Luna had said.

“The Sky People who remained at their camp, and brought down the Mountain, had no idea about this until Heda informed them,” Luna explained, “when I was informed of the movement I sent out another team of scouts. Of the 10 I sent, only 1 returned. A lifeless being is in control of the City of Light and the land beyond it, the stories we had heard are true. Up until now this had not been a problem for us, but with the discovery of the bomb we are all at risk.”

Luna turned to Lexa and bowed her head a little, letting Lexa know that she had finished. Lexa looked to Clarke.

“Clarke…” she said, indicating that she wanted Clarke to explain the significance of the being that Luna had mentioned.

“The lifeless being that Luna was talking about,” Clarke said as she stood up, “is something known as an Artificial Intelligence. Created by humans, we do not know how long ago, but we suspect it was before the war which nearly destroyed our planet and our species.”

Clarke caught Lexa’s eye as she was talking, a small smile ghosted Lexa’s lips, giving Clarke a little more confidence to continue.

“Earlier today, I was talking to one of my people about it, and she suspects that this A.I may have in fact started the nuclear war,” the blonde continued, “the risk that she now poses to both of our people is not yet known. The information I have isn’t complete, but from what I do know I can say that I believe she intends to finish what was started 97 years ago. We are going to have to work together to stop the threat, my people know more about the technology, and the Commanders people are better prepared for a battle. If we work together I believe that both our people can survive this.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was laying on the bed, staring at the ceiling. About 30 minutes before she had told Raven and Octavia that she wasn’t going to the feast. She wasn’t in the mood and Lexa had said she didn’t have to be there, just that she would like her to be there. Clarke jumped when the door opened, without warning, there was no polite knock.

“Luna, what the hell.” Clarke said as she sat up.

Luna walked over to the closet and took out a floor length black leather jacket, a pair of black jeans and a white top. She then walked over to the bed and put the clothes down.

“Get ready.” She stated.

“I already told Raven and Octavia that I’m not going,” Clarke replied, laying back down, “it’s not like Lexa said I had to be there.”

“Get ready.” Luna repeated.

“No.” Clarke said.

“You’ve got 10 minutes,” Luna said turning to leave, “then Octavia is coming in to do your hair.”

“Luna, I said I’m not going.” Clarke replied, “and I’m not.”

“Do you think I’m enjoying this, Sky Girl?” Luna asked, turning back and walking over to the foot of the bed, “do you think this is some light early evening entertainment for me? I have watched that girl show no interest in anyone for two years, two years. I have watched as every person who was interested in her was told in no uncertain terms that it wasn’t going to happen.”

Clarke stayed where she was looking at the ceiling.

“She was in love with my sister Clarke,” Luna continued, “The way she looked at her would make you think that Costia was the entire world to Lexa… with you… You’re her entire world plus the moon and the stars, now get your backside off that bed and get ready. If you’re not ready in 10 minutes when Octavia gets here, I’ll be back to dress you myself.”

“I’m not going.” Clarke repeated as Luna was once again walking towards the door.

Luna actually let out a low growl as she, again, turned back towards Clarke.

“Are you punishing her for something?” Luna asked, “That night on the mountain maybe? Let me explain something to you Sky Girl…”

Something in the way Luna was talking to Clarke actually made the blonde girl sit up this time, she had a feeling that this was how Luna talked to people who really pissed her off, people who didn’t follow her orders maybe.

“You cannot punish her more than she has punished herself,” Luna said, “she would give you anything you want Clarke, anything you ask her for is yours… all you have to do is ask. You’re the only person who matters to her, everything that she has done to hurt you is something that haunts her every day. She can’t take it back, she can’t change it, but she is trying to make things better for you and your people. If you let her walk away again Clarke, there won’t be another chance, for either of you. If we were all to die tomorrow can you tell me that you wouldn’t have any regrets?”

“We’re not going to die tomorrow.” Clarke replied.

“That’s how we live Clarke,” Luna answered, “like every day is our last, because one day it will be. With Lexa that one day may come sooner than you think, and when she’s gone, you’ll regret it, trust me.”

Luna turned and left the room.

Clarke sat on the bed wondering what had just happened. She looked down at the clothes that Luna had picked out for her and sighed. She was scared. Scared of letting down the walls around her heart, letting Lexa back in. She had taken a huge chance before and Lexa had betrayed her, turned her back and walked away. Though she understood it, she couldn’t push that thought from the back of her mind that as Lexa had done it once, she could do it again.

“That jacket will look good on you…” Raven said from the doorway.

“I can’t do this Raven.” Clarke said quietly.

“Yes you can,” Raven replied walking into the room and sitting on the bed near Clarke, “you can. Pick up the clothes, walk to the bathroom and change. It’s not difficult, even Octavia can dress herself.”

Clarke let out a little laugh.

“I blamed her for a long time,” Raven continued, her tone turning a little more serious, “for Finn, for everything. If she hadn’t come along then everything would still be as it was. Finn would still be here. Everything would be okay… But it wouldn’t be. We’d probably all be dead. Now that I’ve actually spent some time talking to her I can certainly see the appeal, I mean we all know that she’s gorgeous but there is so much more to Lexa than that. She’s no different to us Clarke, she’s just had a lot more to deal with. Under that tough exterior is a big heart, if anything she cares too much. She’s given you her heart Clarke… don’t destroy it.”

Raven quietly stood up and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.

It seemed to Clarke that it didn’t matter what she did that night, she wasn’t going to win. With Raven telling her to give Lexa a chance she knew things had changed. She had no idea what the two had talked about when Lexa had asked Raven to fix up the old radio, or showed her to room full of Old World tech, but Clarke knew it had to be something big. Raven had hated Lexa not three days before, now she was literally telling Clarke to give her another chance. With a sigh she got off the bed and did as Luna had told her, she got changed. Just as she put the jacket on the door to her room opened and Octavia walked in.

“Jacket off Princess.” Octavia said with a smile, “we’ve got to do your hair first.”

Clarke could see Luna leaning on the doorframe, an unreadable expression on her face. She took her jacket off and sat on the chair near her bed. Octavia took behind her and started to re-braid her hair.

“Excited?” Octavia asked, Clarke didn’t need to look at her to know she was smiling.

“I have no idea what to expect,” Clarke said, “we’re going to be in a room full of Grounders…”

“A courtyard full of Grounders…” Octavia said, “The feast is out in the courtyard.”

“Still…” Clarke replied with a sigh, “If the Council meeting is anything to go by those people hate me.”

“The Council hate everyone Clarke,” Luna said from the doorway, “they hate anyone who has anything to say that they don’t agree with 100%. But you did well today, you made them see that they need to trust you. You spoke as a true leader.”

“Thanks…” Clarke said with a small smile.

“Lexa took a huge risk opening the floor up to you like that,” Luna said, “nobody from the outside has ever been present at a Council meeting before, let alone allowed to speak. You did her proud, as well as yourself. I’ll see you downstairs.”

“So…” Octavia said as she heard Luna leave, “You and the Commander?”

“There is no me and the Commander…” Clarke said with a sigh, “Though you all seem to think there is.”

“I know you’re blonde Princess, but you’re not that stupid.” Octavia said with a laugh, “we can obviously see something you can’t, or don’t want to.”

“How do you let someone in who has hurt you before?” Clarke asked, not sure whether she really expected an answer.

“Slowly,” Octavia replied, “small steps.”

“Small steps…” Clarke said with a nod.

It didn’t take Octavia long to finish Clarke’s hair, once she was done Clarke stood up and put the jacket back on, pulling the length of her hair out from underneath she turned and saw Raven, Lincoln and Kassius waiting by the door.

“Ready?” Lincoln asked, looking between Octavia and Clarke, “it’s already started, so we’re a little late.”

“I think we’re ready.” Octavia replied glancing at Clarke, who nodded, she leant a little closer to her, “small steps.”

They walked over to the door, Raven smiled at her.

“Badass…” Raven said, linking her arm with Clarke’s as they started the walk down to the corridor.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

When they arrived in the courtyard Clarke could tell the word feast wasn’t one that she would’ve used. It was more like a party. There were flame torches dotted around, tables spaced out along the length and width of the courtyard, all piled high with food. There was a huge empty space in the middle where people were dancing. Clarke spotted children running around, playing and laughing. The doors to the courtyard were open, a couple of guards were placed at the gate but Clarke got the general idea that people were free to come and go as they pleased.  She had never seen this side of the Grounder culture. Sure she’d seen them drinking in Tondc but nothing on this scale. Lincoln ducked off and came back with a drink for each of them.

“What’s this?” Clarke asked.

“It’s made from berries and herbs,” Lincoln replied with a small laugh, “just drink it.”

Clarke took a mouthful from the cup and was pleasantly surprised.

“Wow…” she said, “We need to get the recipe for this for Jasper.”

“Certainly tastes better than the stuff he makes,” Raven said with a laugh, “I’m sure I’ve tasted engine oil that tastes better than some of Jaspers creations.”

“It does the job.” Octavia replies, “though it is usually better to hold your nose when you drink it.”

As Clarke started to relax she found herself looking around a little more. She could see Kassius standing by the wall, he looked relaxed but he certainly wasn’t joining in the fun. A little further away from him she saw Indra and a few more Grounders who looked like they weren’t there to party with the rest of them. It set Clarke on edge a little.

“It just means Heda is here somewhere,” Lincoln said quietly to her, “it doesn’t mean there’s anything to worry about.”

“Okay…” Clarke said, finishing her drink, “I’m going to get another one of these…”

Lincoln motioned to one of the tables, which had a lot of different jugs on it.

“Take your pick.” He said with a smile.

Clarke excused herself from the small group and walked over to the table, while she was pouring herself a drink Luna waked up next to her.

“So what do you think so far Sky Girl?” she asked, pouring herself a drink as she glanced at Clarke.

“It’s certainly something…” Clarke said with a laugh, “When Lexa said a feast I was expecting something like what happened at Tondc, before Gustus… well…”

“That was a different kind of feast.” Luna said with a laugh, “this is a weekly event here. Anyone is welcome before the sun sets.”

“What happens once the sun sets?” Clarke asked, looking up to see that it wasn’t far from sun set.

“Then the real fun starts.” Luna replied with a smile before she walked away again.

Clarke made her way through the crowd of people between her and her friends.

“Lincoln,” she said once she reached them, “what happens after the sun sets?”

Lincoln laughed at her question.

“I’m serious,” Clarke said, “Luna said something about the real fun starting after sun set.”

“Heda’s feasts have been known to go on until daybreak,” he said, “once the sun sets it stops being so… family friendly. Right now, there are children running around everywhere, once the sun sets they’ll be taken home.”

Clarke felt as though someone was watching her, she looked around again but couldn’t see anyone.

“To the left Princess…” Raven said.

“What?” Clarke asked.

“The person you’re looking for,” Raven replied with a smirk, “she’s over to the left.”

Clarke looked over to the left of where they were standing, there on the other side of the courtyard she saw Lexa. The first thing she noticed was the lack of armour, Lexa wasn’t wearing any. Then she noticed how the jacket Lexa was wearing, a thigh length black leather jacket, hugged in all the right places. She had her usual knee high boots on with a pair of tight black trousers. Her hair wasn’t braided in the way Clarke had always known it to be, it looked to the blonde like Lexa was more relaxed in every way. As Clarke’s eyes made their way back up the Commanders body, they were met by Lexa’s own, before she looked back at the man she was talking to. From the look of the people around Lexa, Clarke figured they were generals of some kind. Luna was with them, and the leader of the Boat people certainly hadn’t missed Clarke admiring what Lexa was wearing, the smirk on her face said it all.

“Busted.” Octavia said with a laugh.

“What?” Clarke asked, “I wasn’t…”

“You so were.” Octavia replied, “But I seriously don’t blame you, she looks good.”

“She always looks good…” Clarke said quietly, hoping nobody had heard her, but the look on her friend’s faces told her she was mistaken.

“How many of those have you had?” Lincoln asked, motioning to her cup.

“Two…” Clarke replied.

“Maybe you should eat something.” He said with a laugh, “I don’t want to have to carry you to bed.”

“Something tells me Lexa wouldn’t mind.” Octavia said, everyone else looked down at their feet as Indra cleared her throat behind Octavia, “shit…”

“I see you still haven’t learned how to control your mouth…” Indra said as Octavia turned to face her.

“What can I say,” Octavia replied, “it’s a gift.”

“Kassius told me that you have restarted your training.” Indra said, seemingly ignoring what Octavia had said.

“Yeah,” the younger girl said with a nod, “Luna is training me.”

“She is a very efficient warrior,” Indra replied with a small nod of her own, “you will learn much from her… I wish you well Octavia Kom Tri kru.”

With that Indra turned and walked away.

“Did that really just happen?” Octavia asked as she turned to face the rest of the group.

“It really just happened.” Clarke said with a smile, “seems everyone is full of surprises tonight.”

“Is she drunk?” Raven asked, “taken a knock to the head maybe?”

“She isn’t as bad as you think,” Lincoln replied with a smile as he put his arm around Octavia’s shoulders, softly kissing her on the head, “and no, she’s here as part of Lexa’s guard, she hasn’t touched a drop.”

Clarke heard a small crash and some crying behind her, looking around she saw a small child holding their knee not far from the dance area.

“Hold this.” She said to Raven, handing her friend her cup.

She made her way over to the child and crouched down, Clarke guessed the child was roughly 6 years of age.

“Hi,” she said, hoping the child could understand English, “I’m Clarke, can I see your knee?”

The child nodded and moved her hands away from her knee, it was bleeding. She looked around, seeing Nyko she caught his attention.

“Can you get me some water and a small cloth?” she asked.

Nyko nodded and disappeared from Clarke’s view.

“What’s your name?” Clarke asked the child.

“Ariah…” the child said nervously.

“That’s a pretty name,” Clarke replied with a smile, “are you having fun?”

“Yes,” Ariah nodded, “when I’m big I want to come back.”

Clarke felt movement next to her, assuming it was Nyko she turned a little. She was surprised to see Lexa crouched next to her holding a small bowl of water and a cloth.

“You asked for this?” Lexa asked Clarke.

“Yes,” Clarke replied “thanks… Okay, Ariah, this might hurt a little.”

The little girl nodded a little and Clarke slowly started to clean up the blood from her knee.

“Does it hurt?” Lexa asked the child.

“No Heda.” Ariah replied.

“Are you lying?” Lexa asked, a small smile on her lips, to which Ariah nodded, “it’s okay to admit when something hurts.”

“Warriors don’t get hurt.” Ariah said, keeping her eyes focused on Lexa while Clarke cleaned her knee.

“Oh that’s not true,” Lexa replied, “Warriors get hurt all the time.”

“Have you ever got hurt Heda?” Ariah asked.

“More times than I can remember,” Lexa said with a smile, “I remember when I was your age, I was playing around with my friends and fell from a tree. I cut my knee.”

“Did you cry?” Ariah asked.

“I did.” Lexa nodded.

While Lexa was talking to Ariah, Nyko walked back over to Clarke. He had a small piece of fabric and a bowl containing some kind of paste.

“To stop infection.” He said as Clarke looked at him, “then wrap the fabric around the knee.”

Clarke nodded as she made sure all the dirt was out of the cut before doing as Nyko had said. By the time she was finished she noticed that the tears had stopped and Ariah hadn’t complained about the pain once.

“Okay,” Clarke said, “all done.”

Ariah stood up and ran off smiling to find her friends again.

“I guess it didn’t hurt that much.” Clarke said with a laugh.

“A distraction stops you focusing on the pain.” Lexa replied.

As Clarke and Lexa stood up Ariah ran back over to them.

“Thank you Clarke.” She said, before bowing a little to Lexa, then running off again.

“You were great with her by the way…” Clarke said to Lexa.

“I’m not a monster Clarke.” Lexa replied, taking the bowl of water from her and walking over to one of the tables.

“I didn’t mean it like that…” Clarke said following Lexa.

“I know.” Lexa replied, smiling a little as she turned around again, walking past Clarke she stopped, “but it was so funny to see the look on your face.”

Clarke watched as Lexa walked back to the group she had been talking to. Shaking her head a little Clarke walked back to Lincoln, Octavia and Raven.

“You just can’t stop saving people can you?” Raven said with a laugh.

“She was a kid…” Clarke said, “I couldn’t just leave her there bleeding.”

“I know Princess,” Raven replied, nudging Clarke a little before handing back her drink, “I’m just messing with you.”

“Pulling your leg cause she only has one that works.” Octavia said causing Raven to burst out laughing.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As the sun finally set Clarke felt the atmosphere around her change. The tables were all pulled back against the walls, and the whole environment changed. She saw Octavia take Lincolns hand, raising her hand over her head she lead him out to dance.

“Less family friendly…” Raven said with a laugh, “with those two dancing I’m going to have to say I agree.”

The music that was being played by a group of Grounders changed, Clarke noticed they were using instruments made from metal and other scrap. The beats from the drums felt like they were going straight through her. Her eyes met Lexa’s as the other girl walked over to her.

“Dance with me Clarke…” Lexa said, taking Clarkes hand and leading her away from Raven.

As Raven watched Lexa lead Clarke away Luna walked up next to her.

“Well I guess it’s now or never for Lexa…” Luna said.

“I guess it is…” Raven replied.

“So tell me,” Luna said as she handed Raven another drink, “why the big change of heart with you and Lexa. You don’t strike me as someone who gives second chances.”

“I don’t,” Raven replied, taking the drink before they moved back from the crowd a little, “and with Lexa it’s more like a last chance… This morning when she wanted to talk to me, she told me some stuff which kinda made me think again about her…”

“What kind of stuff?” Luna asked as she and Raven sat on one of the now empty tables.

“She told me about Costia… she was your sister right?” Raven asked, to which Luna nodded, “I would say I’m sorry, but you don’t strike me as the kind of person who takes sympathy too well.”

“There’s only so many times you can listen to someone say I’m sorry before you want to put an axe through their head.” Luna replied with a shrug.

“Thought so,” Raven said with a small laugh, “she told me about that whole thing, how the Queen of the Ice Nation had her kidnapped and… everything. That’s some sick shit by the way… Then she told me about having to hold her army back, not take the bitch out… With all the pain she was in, she had to think about what was best for everyone else. Personally I’d have probably said fuck it and done it anyway…”

Luna laughed a little.

“I guess I figured that with all that,” Raven continued, “and everything else… and how much she cares about Clarke…”

“She’s mad about her,” Luna said, looking out at the dance floor where Lexa and Clarke were dancing, though dancing was probably a loose term for it, “she’s due a little happiness.”

“I may have threatened to plant a bomb under her bed and make this whole place go boom if she hurts her again…” Raven admitted, “Which amused her, I think.”

Luna saw Indra watching Clarke and Lexa. She saw the woman’s face harden as her eyes narrowed. Luna looked back at the two girls. Lexa was standing behind Clarke, her hands on the girls waist as the music flooded through them. They were both moving with the rhythm of the drums, completely lost in the moment and each other. Luna saw Indra start to move forward.

“Oh no you don’t…” she said jumping down from the table before walking over to the other woman.

“What the…” Raven said, looking to see where Luna was going, she followed Indra’s eye line and saw Clarke and Lexa, “oh…”

She dropped down from the table and walked behind Luna to Indra.

“Leave them.” Luna said as she stopped in front of Indra.

“Move out of my way.” Indra replied.

“No,” Luna replied, “leave them, let them have this.”

“You obviously don’t understand what this is going to do to Heda’s reputation with her people.” Indra said, trying to step around Luna, coming face to face with Raven.

“If that was Lexa dancing with anyone else you wouldn’t have a problem,” Luna said, “in fact I’ve seen you encourage it.”

“That is different,” Indra replied, turning to face Luna, “we both know there were never any feelings involved in those encounters. This is a distraction that Heda does not need.”

“This is exactly what Lexa needs,” Luna said, “Indra, I know you are looking out for what you believe is best for Lexa, but so am I. Forcing herself to stay away from Clarke is killing her Indra, you know that. Please…”

Indra took a deep breath, looked past Raven and Luna to where everyone was dancing before she looked at Luna again.

“Nobody is even paying attention to them Indra,” Raven said, “you marching over there with your stick up your ass is only going to draw attention to them, whereas if you leave them, nobody is going to care.”

“You do not understand.” Indra said to Raven.

“No, I don’t think I do.” Raven replied, “What do you have against Lexa being happy?”

With a low growl Indra turned and walked away, back into the building.  Luna sighed in frustration as she looked back towards the girls. Kassius caught her eye from where he was still standing near the wall, he nodded a little, letting her know that she had done the right thing.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The closer Lexa had taken her to the dance floor, then more Clarke’s feet were telling her to run, but she just couldn’t get them to listen. As the beat started to flood through her she felt Lexa move behind her, the girls hands going to her hips, she could feel Lexa’s body flush against her back.

“Do you trust me Clarke?” Lexa said quietly in her ear, Clarke shivered a little as she nodded, “then relax…”

Clarke closed her eyes, feeling Lexa that close to her, her body didn’t fail to react.

“Breathe…” Lexa said, “if you want to stop, we can…”

Clarke shook her head a little as she felt Lexa’s lips ghost across the pulse point on her neck. She allowed herself to relax, to stop thinking and just feel. Her hands moved to cover Lexa’s as they both started moving to the rhythm of the drums.

Time slipped away from Clarke, it was like the whole world around her just stopped existing in that moment. She knew it couldn’t continue, she knew that this moment couldn’t last forever. Around her she could see a lot of other people dancing, and in that one moment she and Lexa just blended in. She felt Lexa’s hands slip around her waist as the other girl held her closer, she could feel Lexa’s breath on her neck and in that moment she knew that their current position was affecting the Commander in exactly the same way it was affecting her. A small smirk tugged at her lips as she turned in Lexa’s arms so she was now facing her.

“Breathe Lexa…” she said quietly.

There was something in the way that Lexa was looking at her that made Clarke’s heart start pounding even harder in her chest. As Lexa’s eyes flicked down to her lips Clarke swallowed hard.

“Your heart is racing…” Lexa said quietly, her hands gripping Clarke’s hips as she pulled her closer.

“So is yours…” Clarke said, her hands slowly travelling up Lexa’s arms, coming to rest on her shoulders.

Lexa started to close the gap between their lips, stopping when she noticed a look in Clarke’s eyes. She backed away a little, a questioning look on her face.

“Not here…” Clarke said, taking Lexa’s hand as she led them through the dancing crowd.

Nobody was taking any notice of them, as they moved through the crowd, Clarke knew that was down to two things. The amount of alcohol that had been consumed, and the amount of respect Lexa’s people had for her.

Anyone who was inside the building turned their eyes away as Clarke and Lexa entered, as they were expected to. It wasn’t the first time they had seen Lexa heading upstairs with someone after a night like this, needs must be met after all. By the time they reached the third floor landing they were alone. Clarke turned to Lexa, keeping hold of her hand as she stepped closer.

“Clarke…” Lexa said, “you don’t have to…”

“Stop talking…” Clarke replied, closing the distance between them.

The kiss started off soft and slow, their lips ghosting over each other, testing the waters. When Clarke didn’t pull away, Lexa pulled her closer. Clarke’s hands travelling the short distance from where they were cupping the Commanders face, to tangle in her hair. Lexa’s hands moved from Clarke’s hips round to the small of her back as the blonde girl deepened the kiss. It felt to Lexa like her entire life had been building to this moment. Her world was suddenly starting to make sense again. A moan escaped her throat as she felt herself being pushed into the wall behind her. Clarkes hands moving from her hair to unfasten her jacket. Lexa had to back out of the kiss as she felt Clarke’s hands move under her jacket, softly running over her hips.

“Wait…” Lexa said, struggling to catch her breath.

“Nervous Commander…?” Clarke asked, a small smile playing on her lips.

“You have no idea…” Lexa replied as Clarke kissed her once again.

Something snapped inside Lexa as Clarke deepened the kiss once again, she turned them around so Clarke was against the wall. As the blonde girl bit down on Lexa’s bottom lip, she had to break away again.

“Clarke…” she said, resting her forehead against the other girls, “if I don’t stop now I don’t think I’ll be able to…”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing…” Clarke said with a small smile, her fingers tracing across Lexa’s abs.

“It’s really not…” Lexa replied, softly kissing the blonde girl again, “but… we’re in the hallway. My people can pretend they haven’t seen a lot, but that… is pushing their discretion a little too far…”

Clarke couldn’t stop the laugh as it escaped her, to Lexa it was almost like music to her ears.

“And…” Lexa continued, “as much as I want to do this with you… I don’t want to rush anything… I want you to be sure…”

“I’m sure…” Clarke replied, causing Lexa to groan a little as she looked up at the ceiling, “sorry… you were saying…”

“We’ve both been drinking,” Lexa answered, “if I hadn’t I don’t think I would’ve been brave enough to even dance with you tonight, not here anyway… I want us both to be completely clearheaded when this happens Clarke…”

“When, not if…?” Clarke asked.

“Definitely when, not if.” Lexa replied, softly kissing Clarke again.

Clarke was the one who backed out of the kiss this time before Lexa took a step back allowing Clarke to step away from the wall.

“Good night Clarke…” Lexa said.

“Good night.” Clarke replied, before turning and walking towards her room.

Lexa’s eyes followed Clarke, as her heart finally returned to its normal rhythm in her chest. The blonde girl turned back before she reached her room, catching Lexa’s eye she smiled a little. Lexa returned the smile before she walked upstairs.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short part compared to the rest but I'm not going to be able to write anything for a couple of days, so this is to just tide you all over until I can get the next part written. Really hope you enjoy it.

 

When Clarke woke up it was still dark outside, she heard no sounds of the party still going on outside, and when she left her room the building was quiet. Her mind was still spinning from what had happened with her and Lexa, more predominantly what hadn’t happened. Lexa had stopped it from going any further, when both she and Clarke had known that is certainly where it was going. Part of Clarke hadn’t wanted Lexa to stop it, though she knew part of her was also testing Lexa to see how far she would let it go.  Clarke found herself walking upstairs without even thinking about it. As she walked along the corridor she heard voices, low voices, but they were there.

“But this peace is not going to last,” Lexa said, “we both know that… as easy as it would have been to get lost in it for tonight, it wouldn’t last. Her people will never accept it. Neither would mine…”

“She is your equal Lexa,” Kassius replied, “not one of your people, but your equal. Someone our people respect because of the fall of the Mountain. They would accept a union between you, not everyone, I’m sure the Ice Nation would have some… problems with it.”

“The Ice Nations have problems with the fact that I’m still breathing Kassius…” Lexa said with a small laugh.

“It would strengthen your position Lexa,” he said, “she is their leader, the Sky People would respect her choice and in time, they would respect you.”

“In time…” Lexa said with a sigh, “we don’t have time. That is one luxury I’ve never had, we both know that.”

“If we can guarantee a lasting peace…” he started to say.

“A lasting peace is not possible,” Lexa replied, “it is a pipe dream. I united the 12 clans, that was supposed to bring peace, but it didn’t. The coalition isn’t a stable one. It is a coalition of mutual need. The Ice Nation will not be completely under my command while their Queen still lives. She is their leader, not I… And now we have another threat, to not only our way of life but our very existence…”

“With the technology the Sky People retrieved from the mountain…” he said.

“That is part of the problem,” Lexa said, “the mountain should have been destroyed. We cannot fight technology when we fear it… A new alliance is needed with the Sky People, I know that. If we went to war with them now, we would lose. We have the numbers, but we cannot possibly hope to stand against the technology from the mountain.”

“You need to speak to Clarke,” Kassius said, “any alliance between our people needs to be mutual. If your relationship with her…”

“I am not using that to create an alliance.” Lexa snapped, “Not even for the good of my people.”

The tone in Lexa’s voice caused Clarke to jump a little, she hadn’t realised how closely she was standing to the wall until her leg hit it, causing a bang loud enough to stop the conversation between Lexa and Kassius.

“What was that…?” Kassius said, his footsteps getting closer to the door.

“Clarke,” Lexa said, “would you like to join us, or do you prefer to stand out in the hallway.”

Clarke muttered to herself as she walked into the room. She now knew which room it was that always had the closed door, it was Lexa’s bedroom.

“I couldn’t sleep…” the blonde said, “I don’t know why I was up here, but…”

“But you decided that instead of making it known you were here you would listen from outside?” Lexa asked as she stood near the fireplace watching the flames.

Clarke’s breath caught in her throat as she looked at Lexa. She had her arm rested on the top of the fireplace, the light from the flames was dancing across her face.

“Not exactly,” Clarke replied, “I didn’t intend to listen… I just couldn’t seem to get my feet to let me leave…”

She saw a small smile playing on Lexa’s lips, which caused her to immediately relax.

“Having seen how clumsy you are when running through the forest I can very much believe that,” Lexa said, still not looking at Clarke, “do all Sky People have limbs which do not do what their brains tell them to?”

“No,” Clarke said with a shrug, “that would just be me…”

“Do you have an opinion about what Kassius and I were discussing?” Lexa asked, the smile falling from her lips.

“An alliance between our people is going to take a lot of work,” Clarke replied, “They don’t trust you.”

“Do you?” Lexa asked, finally looking at her.

“I trust you with myself,” Clarke said, “but I’m not sure that I trust you with the safety of my people, not yet.”

“Then that is going to make my next request a difficult one.” Lexa said, “Your people are not safe where they are, earlier you said that the A.I was trying to contact them… If she does, and convinces them to join her…”

“That isn’t going to happen.” Clarke replied, “They aren’t stupid.”

“And if she offers them the safety which they crave?” Lexa asked, “If she offers them a life away from violence, where they can grow and thrive in safety…”

Clarke didn’t say anything, she knew that Lexa had a point.

“Are you telling me they would not be tempted?” Lexa said.

“They may be tempted…” Clarke replied, “ever since they arrived here they have known nothing but violence, first from your people, then from the mountain… any offer of safety at this point would be tempting for them. But Bellamy is there to stop anything like that happening.”

“You trust him to lead your people in your absence but you did not trust him to accompany you here…” Lexa said, as she looked back at the fire.

“I trust him to do what is right by our people,” Clarke replied, “he is not leading them, he is there to ensure they are safe.”

“Is that not the same thing?” the other girl asked.

“If any decisions need to be made, he and Kane will make them.” Clarke said, “If they believe that they can’t, they will contact me here, that’s why I brought the radio.”

“You cannot lead your people from here Clarke.” Lexa replied, “if you were to bring them here…”

“They’ll never agree to that.” Clarke said quickly.

“Then I cannot ensure their safety.” Lexa replied.

“I’m not asking you to.” Clarke said.

“Your people are not safe Clarke,” the other girl said with a sigh, walking from the fire to the window, “I received word from the Ice Nation capital this morning, they view your people as a threat. You are on my land, yet as we do not have an alliance, you are not under my protection. I cannot guarantee that the Ice Nation will not seek to attack your people, as you already heard their Queen is their leader. I need to focus my attention on the threat from beyond the Dead Zone, I cannot split my force to watch your camp as well. If I intervene without an alliance between our people, it will be seen as a weakness, and the coalition will collapse. The Ice Nation will no longer agree to the terms we have and an all-out war may be possible.”

“How are my people a threat to the Ice Nation?” Clarke asked, “We’re not a threat to anyone, Lexa, you know that.”

“The technology you retrieved from the mountain,” Lexa replied, “they believe that you will use it to control them, us… it is a fear of a lot of my people Clarke. They respect you because you caused the fall of the mountain, that respect has easily turned to fear in some parts. The Ice Nation, and others, believe that the technology and weapons that you now have make you the biggest threat that we face.”

“We don’t want to control anyone,” the blonde girl said, “we just want to be left alone to live in peace. Nothing more.”

“If peace cannot be obtained, then it must be forced,” Lexa said with a sigh, “you force a peace by dominating other people. The more people who fear you, the more likely you are to be left alone. Your numbers are small, without your weapons and technology you would pose no threat. As it stands now, you are still no threat, as you have yet to utilise what you have taken…”

“Lexa…” Clarke said, “listen to what you’re saying…”

“I’m aware of what I’m saying Clarke,” Lexa replied, “I have spent most of the night thinking about it.”

“An alliance between our people would stop the threat from the Ice Nation?” Clarke asked, “it would show your people that we are no threat to them?”

Lexa nodded her head a little.

“An alliance between our people would mean that the Ice Nation could not attack your people without retribution.” Lexa said, “it would mean that they would be driven from the coalition, forced out. It would also bring the promise of destruction, for them. The remaining 11 clans would unite against them and they would stand no chance, which is what would stop them attacking your people.”

“What are you not telling me here?” Clarke asked.

“An alliance between our people would pose a threat to Heda.” Kassius said.

Clarke watched as Lexa’s back straightened as she looked out of the window.

“How?” Clarke asked.

“An alliance…” Kassius started to say.

“Lexa,” Clarke said interrupting him, “how?”

“A clan requests to be part of the coalition because they know they cannot defeat me,” Lexa replied, “it is for their protection more than my own. Out of that agreement they gain the ability to trade amongst the other clans, to train with them, and to travel across the territory which I control. They are under my ultimate control but with their own leaders, who answer to me. Your people are not requesting this, I am. This will lead some of my people to believe that you pose a threat, not your people Clarke, you. If I am requesting it then I do not believe that my people would win a war between our people. It will be viewed as a weakness, I will be viewed as weak…”

Clarke didn’t say anything as Lexa turned to look at her, the honesty she saw in the Commander’s eyes caused her to take a deep breath.

“Under the agreements reached in the coalition, I do not have final say over another people joining,” Lexa continued, “I require a majority of the clan leaders to be in agreement. If I cannot reach that majority, it may lead to a split. There are clan leaders who have been waiting for me to fail, which I have yet to do. If that were to happen now…”

“And if I make the request?” Clarke asked.

“For what reason?” Lexa asked in reply, a soft smile forming on her lips, “I just told you that my people fear you Clarke, you have no need for this alliance.”

“I don’t like people fearing me Lexa,” Clarke replied, “I just want my people to be safe. We don’t want to control anyone… well my mother may like that, but I don’t…”

Lexa felt a small laugh escape her.

“My people chose me to be leader to protect them and keep them safe,” Clarke continued, “a lasting alliance between our people may be the answer to that.”

“It would mean that you would have to stop questioning Heda in public…” Kassius said, his eyes holding a playful expression which Clarke had seen a few times.

“I’m sure I can work on that…” she said before looking back to Lexa.

“I do not see you as someone I wish to dominate or control…” Lexa said honestly, “I value your opinions and your input… My people however would see it as something of a problem… You are my equal Clarke, in every way.”

“So as long as we’re alone I can still question your decisions?” Clarke asked with a small smile.

“As much as you desire to, yes.” Lexa replied with a smile of her own.

“I will radio Bellamy tomorrow,” Clarke said, “ask him to ask around, see what the general feeling would be around the camp about them coming here. I can order it, but I would prefer that they make the choice themselves. As Chancellor I can force them to come here, but that would cause nothing but problems once they are here. If they do choose to come here, where will they stay?”

“There are empty buildings,” Lexa replied, “and others can be constructed if that is not enough.”

“We need to concentrate on the A.I threat before I can convince my people that an alliance with your people would be for our benefit,” the blonde girl said, “hopefully with them here they will see that before it gets to that point. Once they get here I will talk to Raven, Octavia, Kane and Bellamy about it, though I don’t see them causing an issue…”

“Bellamy might…” Lexa said, “he believes that an alliance between our people would bring you and I closer together, something that I believe he does not approve of.”

“Leave Bellamy to me…” Clarke replied, “he is just extremely protective…”

“I do not understand why he feels he has to protect you,” Kassius said, “you are not his relative, nor are you his… I cannot think of the correct English word…”

“She is not his…?” Lexa asked, “his what?”

“Houmon…” Kassius replied, causing Lexa to smile a little.

“No,” Lexa said, “she is not…”

“Someone want to fill me in on what that word means?” Clarke asked.

“Houmon means wife,” Lexa said with a smile, “Kassius is just confused about the level of protectiveness Bellamy feels towards you as you are not his to protect.”

“Every surviving member of the original 100 is like family,” Clarke said, looking between Lexa and Kassius, “we went through a lot together, and that brought us all a lot closer than we thought it would. Bellamy is like a brother to me, nothing more.”

“Has he ever been anything more?” Lexa asked, feeling her cheeks start to burn a little.

“No…” Clarke replied, “he hasn’t.”

“Heda…” Kassius said, “if I may, it is getting very late…”

“You can leave Kassius…” Lexa replied, her eyes not moving from Clarke.

Kassius nodded a little and left the room.

“Is that why you want to protect me Lexa?” Clarke asked, “you feel that I’m yours to protect?”

“I find it hard to explain why I feel like I need to protect you,” Lexa replied honestly, “it is not something that I believe I ever had a conscious choice over…”

“And if I tell you that I don’t need protecting?” the blonde asked.

“Then I will respect that.” Lexa said, “I do not think you need protecting Clarke, you have shown that not to be the case… but just because I do not think you need protecting doesn’t mean that I won’t… if you let me.”

“Do you want me to be yours to protect?” Clarke asked, no idea where her sudden bravery was coming from.

“Yes…” Lexa replied, swallowing hard as the blonde walked over to her.

“Do you remember that day in your tent…” Clarke said, “before we marched on the mountain…”

Lexa closed her eyes as Clarke reached her, the blonde girl standing in front of her, her fingers playing with the fastenings on Lexa’s jacket.

“I remember…” Lexa replied quietly, not trusting her voice.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to be with you yet…” Clarke said honestly.

Lexa opened her mouth to say something, Clarke raised her hand, placing a finger softly on Lexa’s lips.

“But I know I’m ready to try…” Clarke concluded.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry about the extremely long delay with updating this. Like I said on the notes of the last part I knew there would be a delay but I was expecting it to be a few days, not as long as it has been. My tablet needed repairing (it would probably have been easier to just get a new one, but I’m attached to this one) and it took a lot longer than was originally thought. But anyway, onwards we go with this. This part takes place a few days after the last one left off, don’t worry, there hasn’t been any sexy times for Clexa in those few days. Enjoy.

 

 

Clarke stood on the balcony overlooking the city as her mother, Bellamy, Kane and half of the people from camp Jaha arrived in Polis. In the few days since Lexa had suggested that the Sky People come to the city, it had been agreed that half would come first, with the rest following at the first sign of a threat against the camp.

The Grounder Commander had been receiving more information from the Ice Nation camp and it appeared that the Ice Nation Queen had been informed that Lexa had a massive weakness in the form of Clarke. There had been no direct threats made against Clarke, Lexa’s source was keeping her very well informed, but knowing what the woman was capable of made Lexa think that it was only a question of time before those threats came. Clarke may have told Lexa that she didn’t need protecting, but the other girl knew that wasn’t the case when it came to the Queen of the Ice Nation. She had tried, and failed, many times to spread false rumours and cause people to turn against Lexa, wanting nothing more to remove the Grounder Commander from her seat of power. If she had to use Clarke to do that, then Lexa would put nothing past her. She hadn’t told Clarke about much of it, knowing that it would just cause worry.

In the previous few days, since Clarke and Lexa had really talked about what was going to happen, things had been moving pretty slowly between them. Clarke hadn’t spent a night in her own room, but all the two had done was sit up and talk, and when it had come time to sleep it had been in Lexa’s bed. Lexa had left Polis the evening before Abby, Bellamy and the others arrived. An Elder in a nearby village had died, and Lexa needed to be there for the funeral. She had left Luna to run Polis in her absence, trusting that the city wouldn’t burn down. Clarke wasn’t sure if that had been a good idea, she had yet to see the leadership side of Luna, but as the other girl was the leader of the Boat People, Clarke assumed that she was more than capable of managing Polis in the time that Lexa wasn’t there. The Grounder Commander was due to arrive back that evening, it wasn’t going to be a long departure. She had also left Kassius in Polis, Clarke figured that was for her benefit rather than anything else. The blonde trusted him, she felt that she could talk to him without worrying that he wasn’t taking her seriously. Clarke also knew that Kassius was there as her protection, if the situation should arise where she needed it.

She watched as her mother and the group were escorted towards Lexa’s compound. The closest buildings to the compound that were empty had already been set up for them, the Grounder Commander had made sure of that before she left. Clarke didn’t know if she was ready for the two parts of her world to collide. With her people in Polis came the responsibility of being their leader. Sure she was still their leader when she had been away from them, but this was different.

While she tried to settle herself, steal herself for the moments she knew were to come, she heard movement behind her.

“They’re here Clarke.” Luna said.

“I know…” Clarke replied, taking a deep breath before turning to face the leader of the Boat People.

“It’ll be okay.” Luna said with a smile, “I take it you’re worried about seeing one person in particular. Your mother maybe.”

“You’ve been talking to Octavia again haven’t you.” Clarke said with a little laugh.

“I haven’t actually, well not about this.” Luna replied, “I’m just good at reading people, and ever since you found out that your mother was going to be coming here with Bellamy and Kane, you’ve been extremely quiet. Lexa picked up on it as well.”

“Yeah, well Lexa isn’t here…” Clarke said as she walked past Luna in the direction of the stairs.

“She would be if she had a choice Sky Girl,” Luna said walking after her, “you know that.”

“And we’re back to Sky Girl again?” the blonde asked.

“Well you’re back to acting like a child…” Luna replied.

“How am I…” Clarke started to say, stopping when she saw Bellamy, Kane and her mother waiting at the bottom on the stairs.

Clarke finished the rest of the short walk down the stairs in silence, Bellamy wasn’t paying her any attention though, his eyes had stopped when he saw Luna.

“Thank you for coming.” Clarke said, swallowing hard as she looked between her mother and Kane.

“You said it was important,” Abby replied with a small smile, “and we have to trust that it’s what is for the best. Where’s Lexa?”

“She’ll be back this evening.” Clarke replied, hoping that she wouldn’t have to explain anything more.

“Heda had to attend the funeral of an Elder in a nearby village,” Luna said, “she wanted to be here to welcome you all personally, but it was her duty to attend.”

Clarke stifled a laugh as she remembered Lexa’s reaction when she had told her that Abby would be joining them in Polis, the Commander hadn’t exactly been thrilled about the idea.

“Luna, this is Marcus Kane, Bellamy Blake and my mother, Abby…” Clarke said, realising that introductions were probably a good thing, “guys this is Luna, leader of the Floudon Kru.”

“The…?” Bellamy asked, looking between Clarke and Luna, the blonde fighting to keep the smile of her face at the look of confusion on his face.

“The Boat people.” Luna said, “Blake… you’re Octavia’s brother?”

“Yes, where is she?” he asked, “I’d like to see her.”

“She’s busy.” Luna replied, feeling that she shouldn’t have to explain herself anymore.

“She’s…” Bellamy started to say.

“My second,” Luna said, “at this very moment she’s training with the other seconds, you’ll be able to talk to her later, when she’s finished with her duty’s for the day.”

“If she knew I was here…” he replied.

“She’s aware that you were arriving.” Luna said, before looking at Kassius, “are the buildings ready for the Skai Kru’s arrival?”

“Yes,” Kassius replied, “Heda made sure that they would have everything that they needed, if there is anything lacking then I’m sure we can arrange something when she returns.”

“Clarke,” Luna said, looking at the blonde, “I trust you’ll be able to show them where they’ll be staying?”

“Bellamy, Kane and my mother are staying here,” Clarke replied, “on the same floor as you actually.”

Clarke bit back the laugh as Luna’s eyes widened slightly, at that moment she realised that Lexa hadn’t told her.

“Heda didn’t tell you?” Clarke asked, the amusement clearly written on her face.

“I’m sure she just forgot to mention it…” Luna said, “she has been a little… preoccupied in the last few days, she and I usually talk after the evening meal, but as you know she’s been…”

“I’ll show them where they are staying…” Clarke said, walking towards the door to the compound.

“What did she mean by that?” Bellamy asked as he walked next to Clarke.

“Nothing,” Clarke replied, “I’ll tell you later… maybe…”

As she walked outside she saw the rest of the people who had come with the other three. Clarke couldn’t help but wonder if they had chosen to come, or if they had been forced to. She didn’t want anyone to be in Polis who didn’t choose to be there, she made a mental note to ask Kane later.

“Welcome to Polis,” she said as everyone looked at her, “The Commander wanted to be here to welcome you all herself, but she had an urgent matter to attend to outside the city. Tonight there is to be a feast held here in the courtyard to welcome you all here properly…”

She heard some mutterings going through the people before her.

“Attendance isn’t mandatory,” she continued, hearing at least one person mention not wanting to go, “it is entirely up to each of you if you wish to be there. I’d like it if you all at least made the effort. Having been to one of the feasts myself, I think you’d all probably enjoy it. There have been 5 buildings set up for you all to stay here. If any of you choose to leave, please inform me and I will arrange an escort for you back to Camp Jaha. Follow me…”

She hated speeches, but what she hated more was the idea that her people would feel she was forcing them to do something they didn’t want to do. It would make things uncomfortable for everyone if they didn’t want to be there. When she and Lexa had talked about the Sky People going to Polis they had both agreed that it shouldn’t be forced.

She walked ahead of her people, leading them back out of the compound and towards the buildings. Clarke hadn’t seen what Lexa considered appropriate for the places her people would be staying, but as she neared them she could see that the Commander had again proven that she really wanted Polis to change the way Clarke thought of them. The blonde knew that each building was three stories high, bedrooms on the two upper floors, a bathroom on each floor, a kitchen on the lower floor and another room which was supposed to be a gathering space for the people staying in each building to meet up and relax.

“It’s already been decided who will be staying where,” Abby said as she walked next to Clarke, “which people will be staying in which house.”

“Was it a choice they had any say in, or was it decided for them?” Clarke asked.

“It was something that was decided with the input of everyone who is here.” Abby replied, “Bellamy made a point of asking everyone’s opinion.”

“I knew I left him there for a reason…” Clarke said with a little laugh.

“How have you been sleeping?” Abby asked, changing the subject entirely, she was very curious.

“Pretty well…” Clarke replied honestly, “the nightmares have stopped…”

“Stopped completely?” Abby asked.

“So far.” The blonde said as they reached the buildings, “this is it…”

Clarke stood by and watched as the group split off into smaller groups and went into the buildings. She knew that all 5 of the buildings were clearly visible from the balcony on Lexa’s floor, where the Grounder Commander loved standing night after night. Clarke couldn’t help but think that had played a part in Lexa’s choosing of those buildings for the Sky People. She didn’t know whether it was so she could keep an eye on them or watch over them from a distance. Clarke was still unsure of Lexa’s feelings on her people. The other girl saying on more than one occasion that the Sky People reminded her of children in some ways, running through the forest unaware of the dangers it possessed. Clarke knew that Lexa was right, her people had no idea about the dangers of the world around them, they had proven that on more than one occasion.

The blonde girl shook her head a little as she laughed to herself, realising just how much of her mind had been occupied by thoughts of Lexa while she had been away. Since that night on the mountain Clarke had often thought of Lexa, but those thoughts had mostly been about what the other girl had done, and the many ways in which she could kill her. Not that she ever would, nor would she ever try. It had been a way for her to deal with the things that she saw in her mind, the visions she had every night when she closed her eyes. It was, after all, easier for Clarke to blame Lexa for it. The thoughts that she was now having were the complete opposite of that and in some ways it scared her more than the dark thoughts had.

“How have you and Lexa been getting on since you’ve been here?” Abby asked as she once again walked over to her daughter, “have there been any problems?”

“More than a few disagreements,” Clarke replied honestly, “but nothing that wasn’t solved by talking about it. It was actually her idea that everyone come here…”

“So she can control us?” Abby asked.

“She has no interest in controlling us mom,” Clarke said with a sigh, “she’s been getting reports from the Ice Nation camps, they are very interested in the technology that we got from the mountain… we have no protection out there.”

“Do we need protection?” the older woman asked.

“I don’t know…” Clarke said, deciding that her mother needed to hear the truth, though she couldn’t help but wonder when her mom would stop seeing Lexa as a monster.

“Well if we do need protection are you sure that Lexa is the best one to offer it?” Abby asked, “We don’t know anything about the Ice Nation. Have you ever considered that they may be the better option here?”

“They aren’t…” Clarke said, shaking her head, “you need to trust me on that.”

“How do you know, we know nothing about them Clarke.” Abby said

“I know enough,” Clarke replied, “I know that the only reason they joined the coalition of the clans was to save themselves. I know that their leader kidnaps and murders people… Please trust me mom.”

“I do trust you Clarke,” Abby said, “of course I trust you. It’s Lexa…”

“That you don’t trust, yeah I get it…” the blonde replied with a sigh, “you need to talk to her mom, human being to human being. Forget what she has done in the past and just talk to her…”

“I don’t know if I can forget…” the older woman said quietly.

“Talk to her,” Clarke said, looking at her mother, “for me, please…”

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was sitting in her room, the Sky People seemed to be settling in well, there hadn’t been any violence yet which Clarke took to be a good thing. The big balcony doors in her room were wide open and the sounds from the streets below were filtering through. The bedroom door was also open, so the sounds from outside were mixing with the noises from inside. Octavia had finished her training early and was chatting to Bellamy. The blonde was sure that Luna had decided to let the younger girl go a little earlier than usual for that very reason. She knew that Octavia would have mentioned her upbringing to Luna, she knew that Octavia could never have talked to Indra about that kind of thing, but Luna was different. As hard as she was pushing the younger girl, Clarke knew that she cared on a personal level. The blonde was pretty sure that was more down to Lincoln than anything else. Luna and Lincoln had known each other forever, and if Octavia was the one he had chosen to spend his life with, then Luna would know that there was something special about her.

Clarke sighed as she thought about how much the ground had changed Octavia. It had hardened her in ways that Clarke wished it hadn’t. She had been through so much in such a short amount of time, they all had, but Octavia was the one who had adjusted in ways that no one had thought possible. She had found her place, found the place she belonged. She had a place amongst both the ground and the sky, in a way Clarke envied that about her. She herself had never been completely sure if she would ever find her place. Could the two things completely fit together for her, could she be a part of both worlds? She guessed that only time would be able to answer that for her.

Many times during the previous month, or even longer, Clarke had thought that she never deserved that chance to feel like she belonged. The things she had done to survive didn’t give her that right. She had killed so many people, most who didn’t deserve it, she had no right to want to live in the world. But if she could make it a little easier for her people to live, to survive on the ground, then that’s what she had to do. There was one thing, one person, who had made Clarke believe that she could truly lead her people. One person who now reignited her hope in peace and survival. But she still didn’t know if she could take that risk again. Opening herself up to being hurt again, though she knew this time it wouldn’t just hurt her, it would totally destroy what was left of her.

Clarke was lost in her thoughts when she heard Bellamy clear his throat from the doorway. She shook her head a little before she looked at him.

“Hi…” he said with a little smile, “you okay?”

“Yeah,” Clarke said with a nod, “yeah, I’m okay.”

“You looked like you were pretty deep in thought,” Bellamy said as he walked into the room and sat down on Clarke’s bed, “anything you want to talk about?”

“My inability to forgive myself…” Clarke replied with a little laugh, “I can forgive Lexa for leaving on the mountain, but I can’t forgive myself for what I did afterwards…”

“What we did,” Bellamy corrected, “it wasn’t something you did alone Clarke.”

“I know…” she said with a sigh, “I know, I just… it was my decision to do it Bell, not yours. If I didn’t have that original thought, you wouldn’t have… I just had to save them you know… the cost didn’t even cross my mind at first, saving them was what was important. I’m the one who convinced Lexa to go with the ‘not killing everyone in the mountain’ plan, and yet I’m the one who decided to do just that.”

“She gave you no choice.” Bellamy replied.

Clarke didn’t say anything, she just narrowed her eyes a little as she looked at the wall. Lexa wasn’t to blame for Clarke’s choices, the blonde herself had accepted that, yet it seemed that nobody else had.

Outside the room Luna listened. She had heard from Lexa that Bellamy wasn’t her biggest fan, which made her wonder why he had taken up the invitation to go to Polis. Part of her thought she could see something more in his interest of Clarke, something that didn’t sit right with her. Clarke had finally taken that step back towards Lexa, starting to open up and let the other girl back in her life again, it sounded like Bellamy was trying to undo all that.

“If she’d have stayed that night, stuck to the plan…” Bellamy said.

“We could all be dead.” Clarke replied coldly.

“I don’t see how,” he said, “she had the army Clarke, both inside and outside the mountain, it was her army. With an army that size we wouldn’t lose.”

“You don’t know that…” the blonde said, “things could have turned out very differently if Lexa had stayed…”

“Clarke…” Bellamy started to say,

“No,” Clarke replied, looking at him, “think about it seriously for a moment. Can you imagine the amount of people Lexa would have lost if she’d have stayed? It was her army Bell, her people. She had that option to get her people out of there and not lose anyone. If she’d have turned down that offer… her people would never have let her forget it. She would have risked everything, and for what?”

“This is why I didn’t want you coming here…” Bellamy said standing up, “you’ve been letting her get back in your head again. Listening to what she’s been telling you without actually thinking about it. That’s what she wants Clarke, your forgiveness without having earned it. She left us all that night on the mountain Clarke, but it was you she hurt the most. With Octavia I can understand it, she’s thinking about her future with Lincoln as well as her future with us. But with you… She’s going to destroy you Clarke.”

“Get out…” Clarke said, clenching her jaw as she looked at the floor.

“Clarke…” he said.

“Now.” Clarke said coldly.

As Bellamy stood there looking at Clarke, Luna decided to make her presence known.

“You were asked to leave.” Luna said walking into the room.

“This doesn’t involve you.” Bellamy said turning to look at Luna.

“You’re not in your camp now,” Luna said, slowly walking over to Bellamy, “she asked you to leave. You should be thankful it’s me here right now and not Lexa.”

“You think I’m scared of her?” Bellamy asked with a laugh.

“Oh you stupid boy,” Luna replied with a laugh of her own, before looking at him again, her face now completely devoid of all emotion, “when it comes to Clarke, it is Lexa you should be scared of.”

“Luna…” Clarke said, “don’t, please…”

“Maybe you should get to know Lexa before you assume you understand her motives.” Luna said to Bellamy before she turned and left the room.

“How long was she standing out there?” Bellamy asked, looking between the door and Clarke.

“Long enough apparently…” Clarke replied with a sigh, “I understand where you’re coming from, but anything to do with me and Lexa on a personal level isn’t your concern. Trust that I know what’s best for me, please.”

“I just don’t want to see you getting hurt again, that’s all.” Bellamy said as he walked towards the door.

“Neither do I…” Clarke replied quietly to a now empty room.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

Clarke knew that the time was drawing near for the start of the feast, people were already arriving at the compound, both Grounders and Sky People. From her window she could see them, mingling together, talking. It was all going better than she had hoped it would. She expected some awkwardness between the two people, and she knew that there probably was, it was just internal for now rather than external. The Grounders would know that Lexa had invited the Sky People, so for that reason alone they would attempt to be civil. Their Heda had to have a reason, a reason that would benefit both sides. Clarke didn’t know if Lexa had returned yet, she partly expected Kassius to tell her, or Lexa herself. But she knew that the other girl would have more important things to deal with on her return rather than seeing her. A knock at her door drew her attention, it was Kane.

“I realised we hadn’t had the chance to talk since I got here.” He said with a smile, “I hope I’m not interrupting anything.”

“Just thinking,” Clarke replied with a smile of her own, “a little too much I think.”

“Luna seems… interesting.” Kane said.

“That’s certainly one word for her.” Clarke replied with a laugh, “she’s very loyal to Lexa.”

“I have realised that much, I suspected that is why Lexa left her in charge here.” He said, “how are you doing Clarke?”

“I’m okay,” the blonde replied with a nod, “you were right by the way, about the A.I wanting to end and restart the human race… Jaha is so sure that it’s the right thing to do…”

“His mind isn’t what it was,” Kane said, “he means well. I would like to talk to him.”

“I’m sure something can be worked out.” Clarke said, “it might help if you talk to him, because I’m not getting much from him. How is everyone settling in?”

“Very well,” he said with a nod, “I think the hot water won them over.”

“Easy to please,” Clarke said with a laugh, “did they all choose to come here?”

“Yes,” he said, “they were all given a choice, and the group we brought with us are the ones who wanted to come. I knew you wouldn’t want us to force them to travel here.”

Clarke nodded a little as she looked back outside.

“Will you be joining us down there?” Kane asked.

“Yeah,” Clarke said turning back to him and smiling a little, “it wouldn’t be right for me to ask my people to attend and not go myself…”

Kane nodded a little and left the room. Clarke sat down on her bed with a sigh. Bellamy’s words were playing over and over in her head. Had she been too easy to forgive Lexa, she wasn’t even 100% sure that she had forgiven her, though she knew that she was more than willing to give the girl another chance. Spending the past few nights sleeping in Lexa’s bed told her that. One thing that hadn’t changed between them was the feeling she got when she was around Lexa, she felt safe. That in itself terrified her. Even with the way Lexa had betrayed her trust, she felt safe with her. She knew that wasn’t a new development, all those moments she had spent in Lexa’s tent while they had been planning the attack against the mountain, she felt safe then. She knew from the first moment that she walked into Lexa’s tent, to find her sitting on her throne, twirling the blade against the wooden arm, glaring at her. Fire burning in her eyes. From that moment she knew she was safe. Physically safe. The emotional safety however, that was a new thing.

She rested her elbows on her knees, putting her head in her hands. It hadn’t taken her too long after arriving in Polis to realise why the nightmares had stopped. It had taken her a while to admit what the reason was. Lexa. She should have known that first night in TonDC, the first night since the fall of the mountain that she had slept soundly.

“What’s the matter Princess?” Octavia asked as she walked into the room and sat next to Clarke on the bed, her hand automatically resting on Clarke’s back.

“The nightmares stopped…” Clarke said quietly.

“And that’s a bad thing?” the other girl asked, her brow furrowed together as she looked at the blonde.

“No,” Clarke replied, shaking her head a little as she looked at Octavia, “the reason that they stopped may be…”

“Lexa.” Octavia said simply, a knowing look in her eyes, she laughed a little at the look on Clarke’s face, “I couldn’t find you that night in TonDC, so I asked Man Mountain where you were. He told me you were asleep. I didn’t believe him, there was no way you’d be asleep, you’ve got to remember the amount of times I’d seen you up and walking around the Ark at all hours… but he took me and Lincoln to your tent, Lincoln waited outside and I went in, and there you were, fast asleep. Sleeping soundly for the first time in a month. You know Lexa hadn’t been sleeping either…”

“How do you know that?” Clarke asked.

“Kassius told me,” Octavia said with a slight smile, “when he told me to be quiet when I went to check on you, because your tent was next to hers, and she hadn’t been sleeping. For the last 8 days, you’ve both been sleeping fine…”

“Apart from last night…” Clarke admitted, “it took hours for me to finally sleep…”

“Without Lexa here,” the other girl said laughing a little, “you are so screwed Princess, you know that right?”

“Bellamy thinks…” the blonde started to say.

“Bellamy doesn’t know her,” Octavia said, interrupting her, “all Bellamy has seen is how you crumbled after the mountain. You’ve got to remember the mask that Lexa wears oh so well, and I’m not talking about the war paint. Like you said to me, that night on the Ark, I don’t see her the way you do. I don’t know her the way you do, well neither does Bell. He sees the person that Lexa wants him to see. He told me about Luna by the way, asked me if he should be worried.”

“What did you tell him?” Clarke asked with a little laugh.

“I told him she’s a pussycat compared to Lexa.” Octavia said honestly, “I also told him that Lexa would walk to the ends of the Earth to protect you, so he has nothing to worry about there. You know he cares about you Clarke, the same way he cares about me. Sure at one point it may have been more than that for him, but he’s not stupid, he knows it’ll never happen. But he will protect you Clarke, whether you want him to or not, whether you need him to or not. He thinks it’s his job to protect us, me you and Raven. He doesn’t understand that we can all protect ourselves. Don’t let what he said replant those seeds of doubt in your mind, don’t let him close you off to her again.”

Clarke nodded a little.

“Good, now get ready, I need to do your hair.” She said with a laugh.

“Is Lexa back yet?” Clarke asked as she walked over to the wardrobe to pick out something to wear.

“She literally just got back,” Octavia said as she watched Clarke, “that’s actually why I came up here. She asked where you were, and nobody knew. Other than Luna, Bellamy and Kane no one has seen you since your mother arrived.”

“I just needed to think…” Clarke said turning back to the other girl.

“No you didn’t,” the other girl replied, “that’s part of the problem. Too much thinking isn’t good. Especially not about what you’ve been thinking about.”

“Give me a minute to get changed?” Clarke asked, to which Octavia nodded in reply before Clarke went into the bathroom to get changed.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, I surprised myself with the speed of this update, but I just had to get it out. Lexa and Bellamy talk. The aim was to make the ending hotter than it is, but it just didn't seem to fit with the flow of the rest of the chapter, but that rating change is going to have to happen sooner than I planned. It would be awesome if you could spare a few moments to comment once you've read the part, just to let me know what you think of where it's going. The whole A.I section gets up and running again in the next part, I felt that a few parts without it was needed. 
> 
> I really hope you enjoy reading this part as it wasn't the easiest to write. Like I've said before, the notes at the end just won't seem to disappear (and no, the 'notes at the end' option isn't checked). Enjoy.

 

 

The feast had gone off without any issues, Clarke had really enjoyed watching her people being so relaxed, even if the whole thing was slightly more toned down than the previous feast that she had been to. Clarke couldn’t help but think that the toned down evening was probably for her mother’s benefit. Other than a few stolen glances here and there, Clarke hadn’t seen Lexa. It seemed like every time she had walked over to talk to her, someone had decided that was the perfect time to talk to one of them. She knew it was going to happen, one of her people always wanted to talk to her about something, which was bound to happen.

Lexa had spent most the feast making nice with Abby and Marcus, wondering just what she had done this time to make the universe hate her as much as it seemed to do that night. She had always had a relationship of mutual respect with Kane, ever since that first day in the cell and in the days which followed. She was glad he was there to mediate between her and the older Griffin woman, though it didn’t take her long to see exactly where Clarke had gotten her stubbornness. The conversations hadn’t strayed very far into what Lexa would consider serious, it was more just about what the Sky People would do now they were in Polis. The Commander had already considered that, mentioning to Abby that she was more than welcome to join Nyko in his clinic, and that the Sky People were welcome to do whatever it was they liked to do in the city. Marcus had said that a few of them were wanting to know more about farming, something that Lexa had said she would arrange when she had a few spare moments. Weapons training was also mentioned in passing by Bellamy, who seemed to be avoiding the Grounder Commander as if his life depended on it, Lexa pointing out to him that any of the Sky People getting involved in weapons training was certainly a choice that should be Clarke’s, not his. She knew something was going on when the only response she had received from Luna about how things had gone while she was away, was ‘good’. The other girl had added nothing more when talking about the Sky People, everything was ‘good’. They needed to have a talk, but Lexa knew that time would come. Someone else she had wanted to talk to was Clarke herself, but every time there seemed to be a short gap in the barrage of questions getting thrown at her, every time there seemed to be a moment where both she and Clarke weren’t talking to someone, something else always came up. Octavia and Raven had both also been avoiding Lexa, something that she had come to expect to some degree from Raven, though she had believed that they had worked past that awkward point in their friendship. Octavia on the other hand was being very oddly standoff-ish.

As Lexa finally got a moment to herself, Kassius sat down next to her, obviously sensing that she wasn’t entirely as stress free as she had intended everyone to believe.

“Something on your mind Heda?” Kassius asked, watching the milling crowds rather than looking at Lexa.

“What happened when I was away Kassius?” she asked in reply, “Luna is being vague, neither Octavia nor Raven have said more than two words to me since I arrived back, and the way Bellamy is acting you would think he had broken every rule of Polis since he arrived here.”

“Nothing was brought to my attention Heda,” he replied honestly, “things were a little… tense this morning when the Skai Kru arrived. I sensed a few issues between Clarke and her mother…”

“That is an understatement…” Lexa mumbled quietly, before motioning to Kassius that he could continue.

“Once everyone was settled, Clarke spent the majority of the day in her room,” he said, “she didn’t sleep well last night. As I was doing my usual final walk before I slept I heard her pacing in your room. That was extremely early this morning. I just assume that it had more to do with her mother arriving today rather than a reoccurrence of the nightmares.”

“Did she talk to you today?” Lexa asked as her eyes settled on the familiar blonde who was currently deep in conversation with Monty and Raven.

“No Heda,” he said, “she didn’t talk to many people today. I believe she spent some time talking to the Blake boy. Luna mentioned they had briefly exchanged words, and then of course she talked to Octavia before attending this evening.”

Lexa knew she could always rely on Kassius for his honesty. She leant on the arm of her chair, her eyes narrowed as she considered who she could talk to about what had gone on earlier in the day. Her eyes still fixed on Clarke the whole time. As Clarke turned her head slightly, her eyes locking with Lexa’s, the Commander turned her full attention back to Kassius.

“What do you think of Bellamy?” she asked Kassius.

“He seems to be a very caring young man,” Kassius replied, “he certainly cares a lot for his sister, Raven and Clarke…”

“He views himself as their protector,” Lexa said, not quite sure if she was talking to Kassius or herself, “though all three are perfectly capable of protecting themselves…”

Lexa smiled a little as Raven caught her eye, the other girl obviously knowing something as the look screamed ‘please don’t ask me’.

“Excuse me for a moment.” Lexa said, standing up and making her way over to where Raven was standing alone.

As the Commander walked closer to Raven she could see the other girl looking around, as if she was looking for her quickest escape route.

“Raven…” Lexa said, walking up next to the girl, pouring herself another drink.

“Lexa…” Raven replied.

“Are you enjoying the evening?” Lexa asked, her eyes on the people around her rather than Raven, she didn’t need to look at Raven to know that the other girl would rather be anywhere else but there.

“I don’t know anything,” Raven replied, “you want to know, talk to Octavia.”

“You don’t know anything about whether you’re enjoying the evening?” Lexa asked, a small smirk playing on her lips.

“We both know that isn’t why you came over to talk to me,” Raven said with a groan, “we both know that you spotted me alone and like any skilled hunter you saw the weakest of the pack alone and ready for the kill.”

“I do not see you as the weakest of any pack Raven.” Lexa replied honestly, “you have more strength inside you than you are aware of.”

“Liar.” The other girl said quietly.

“I do not lie,” the Commander replied, “of course your strength is not physical, it is something a lot more dangerous. Your strength is in your mind Raven. Never let anyone tell you that you are weak, and those that do are severely underestimating you.”

As Raven stood there in a stunned silence, something that Lexa was pretty proud of, the Commander caught sight of Octavia sitting with Lincoln and Luna. Sensing that she was going to get nothing more from Raven, Lexa started to walk away.

“Hey…” Raven called after her, suddenly noticing a lot of people looking her way, shouting after Lexa like that was probably seen as disrespectful or something.

Lexa stopped and looked back at her.

“Thank you Commander…” Raven said, Lexa simply smiled a little and with a slight nod continued over to where Octavia was sitting.

x-x-x-x

 

Octavia saw Lexa walking over to them before either Lincoln or Luna, though she knew that the other two would always know where Lexa was at events like this, she was their Heda after all. She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, knowing that it was her who Lexa would be wanting to talk to.

“Octavia, may I have a word?” Lexa asked as she neared the table.

“Would you like a noun, a pronoun or a verb?” Octavia asked, falling back on her sass as she always did when she was uncomfortable, though she knew pretty quickly that none of the three people who were now looking at her would’ve got the joke, “of course Heda…”

“We’ll give you two some space.” Lincoln said as he moved to stand up.

“No need,” Lexa replied, “this won’t take long, and I would prefer that Luna remained as I believe this involves her as well.”

Luna lowered her head to the table in front of her, she had known that this was coming, though she had hoped to avoid it.

“If this is about Bellamy,” Octavia said, looking down at the table, “then I have nothing to say.”

“You obviously do, or you wouldn’t assume that it was that which I wanted to talk about.” Lexa replied, hoping to keep her Lexa voice rather than her Heda one, she didn’t want to scare the girl after all.

“Can you not just go and talk to Bellamy?” Octavia asked.

“About something that I know nothing about?” Lexa asked in reply.

“Well I wasn’t there…” Octavia said, looking at Luna, “I heard it second hand from two people.”

“What happened to loyalty?” Luna asked.

“She’s the Heda…” Octavia replied with a shrug.

“Well played,” Luna said with a slight nod before she looked at Lexa, “he and Clarke were having a discussion earlier, Sky Girl told him to leave, he didn’t. No big.”

“What kind of discussion?” Lexa asked, taking a deep breath to calm herself.

“I didn’t hear all of it.” Luna lied, knowing that Lexa could see right through her, she always had done, “they were talking about how easily Clarke has forgiven you.”

“She hasn’t forgiven me.” Lexa said, “and whether she has or not is not his concern.”

“You have to see it from his point of view,” Octavia said with a sigh, hoping that she wasn’t about to get tied to a tree, “when we first arrived here he was the eldest, he took it upon himself to play the role of protector. He’s been through so much with Clarke, gone from trying to kill her…”

“He what?” Lexa asked.

“I’ll tell you the whole story if you do two things…” Octavia said, knowing she was in no position to make demands, but hoping that the early days of the friendship that had been developing between her and Lexa would mean she could get away with a little more than she should, “please hear me out, and also sit down, you’re making me nervous.”

Lexa looked between Lincoln and Luna, Lincoln had his usual ‘please’ look in his eyes that he always had when it came to Octavia, Luna on the other hand looked amused. She obviously hadn’t heard this story yet either, but she knew it had to be good for Lexa to ignore the fact that Bellamy had tried to kill Clarke. She sat down, opposite Octavia, the look on her face told the younger girl she had better make this fast.

“Bellamy should never have been on the drop ship,” Octavia said, “he was never locked up. He had actually worked security on the Ark for a while when I was growing up… Then one night there was a masked ball, the perfect time for me to be allowed out from my hole in the floor, or so we thought… anyway, we got found out. I got locked up, Bell got fired and our mom got floated… One of the other guys had told Bell that he could get him on the drop ship, he wanted to protect me, he had promised mom that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me, I was his responsibility…”

Lexa listened intently. Clarke had already told her that Octavia had spent her first 16 years either living in the floor or locked up, and Lexa had a hard time with the idea that people would lock up a child for the crime of simply being born.

“So, anyway,” Octavia continued, “the only way he could get on the drop ship was by executing the Chancellor…”

“Abby?” Lexa asked.

“No,” the younger girl replied, “Jaha was Chancellor on the Ark… so he shot him. When they sent us down here they had put these wrist bands on us all. We were sent here to see if Earth was liveable, and the bands were to monitor our health and everything. One by one people kept showing up dead on the screens back on the Ark, but most of them weren’t actually dead, they were just taking the bands off. Bellamy had talked a few people into thinking it was a good idea, why should we help them with knowing the ground was liveable, they’d sent us down here not caring if we lived or died… Or that’s the spin he put on it at the time, obviously he had another reason for hoping the Ark never made it to Earth…”

“He thought he was a murderer…” Lexa said with a nod.

“Bingo,” Octavia said, “Clarke was firmly in the group who wouldn’t remove their bands… She knew it was the only way for Abby to know that she was still alive… They actually still had a pretty good relationship back then, even though Clarke was locked up and all…”

“What changed?” Luna asked, curious about the answer as she had witnessed the interactions between mother and daughter earlier that day.

“She found out that her mother played some part in her father’s death.” Lexa answered, Clarke having told her all about it.

“You’ll have to ask Clarke if you want details, not my story to tell,” Octavia said, “so anyway, Bellamy made it his personal mission to make sure that he got Clarke’s band, any way he had to. He didn’t like her at first, not many people did. That’s when the Princess nickname came about, Finn called her it. She wasn’t one of us, she was one of the privileged. Most of the kids on the drop ship had grown up struggling. There was a definite difference between Clarke and the rest of us, until we landed here that girl had never known struggle in her life. Her mother was on the council, and her father was an engineer, she was in the upper part of the Ark society structure. Heck her best friend growing up was Jaha’s son…”

“What changed?” Lincoln asked, completely engrossed in the story that his girlfriend was telling.

“You don’t think watching her father get sucked out into space was a struggle?” Lexa asked, suddenly feeling very defensive.

“You’re asking the girl who grew up in the floor and still has no idea who her father was, the girl whose mother got killed for having her?” Octavia asked, glaring at Lexa across the table, “of course I know that was a struggle for her. Maybe I should’ve worded it differently. That part of the Ark got everything they needed, they always had enough food, there was always more than enough medicine for when they got sick…that’s what I meant by struggle. I’m well aware of the personal battles that Clarke has had, though back then none of us knew. All we knew was that she was this rich kid, and that was enough for most people to take an instant dislike to her.”

“Including your brother.” Lexa said.

“Yeah,” Octavia replied with a nod, “including Bell. He and Murphy wanted Clarke’s band, and Wells’ band. The two kids whose parents would be constantly watching the screens. With Clarke and Wells dead, Bell figured that the others wouldn’t risk Earth. One day when everyone was out searching for Jasper, Clarke fell down a trap, one set by your people actually… Bellamy caught her before she landed on the spikes. Perfect chance to get that band off her… but it didn’t quite work out like that. Murphy got an attack of his conscience, and he pulled her out of there with Finn and Wells…”

“He would have let her die?” Luna asked.

“Honestly, I don’t think so…” Octavia replied, “I mean, he’s my brother, so obviously I’m going to say that… he’s changed a lot. Grown up. He isn’t the person he was then, he actually gives a shit now. Not just about Clarke, but about everyone else.”

Octavia looked across the table at Lexa who was now sitting with her jaw clenched as she looked down at the drink she held in front of her.

“Lexa…” Octavia said, “you know he wouldn’t do anything to hurt Clarke now, you know that…”

“Would he have let her fall?” Lexa asked, looking up at Octavia.

“I wasn’t there…” she replied, honestly, “I don’t know…”

Lexa stood up from the table and walked away without saying another word.

“I need to find Bellamy…” Octavia said moving to stand up.

“You need to leave it to play out.” Luna said, grabbing the girls arm, “if you don’t, this will play out badly for you as well as your brother.”

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

As Bellamy exited the main compound building he could see that the party was still in full flow, he saw his sister talking to Lincoln and Luna, Raven was talking to Clarke and Monty, everyone else seemed to be enjoying themselves. He figured he should probably relax, instead of constantly thinking that the Grounder Commander had another reason for inviting the Sky People to Polis, other than just protecting them. He knew it had more to do with Clarke than everyone else, but deep down he knew that Lexa wouldn’t allow anything to happen to his people while they were in her city. As he stood there looking around he didn’t sense the movement behind him.

“Would you have let her fall?” Lexa asked from where she was leaning against the wall, her blade in one hand, her eyes flicking from it to Bellamy.

“What?” Bellamy asked, the look on Lexa’s face not lost on him.

“That day back in the woods,” Lexa said, still not moving, “when you were out searching for Jasper. Clarke fell down the trap, you caught her. Would you have let her fall?”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about…” Bellamy replied, trying his best not to accept that the feeling rising in his stomach was fear.

“And now come the lies,” Lexa said with a small laugh, “it would be in your best interests to be honest with me Bellamy.”

“It was a different time,” Bellamy said, “we were all different people… well everyone but Clarke, she hasn’t changed that much…”

Lexa noticed his eyes move from her as his head turned and he looked at Clarke.

“And you would have allowed her to die to simply protect yourself?” Lexa asked.

“It’s nothing less than what you did.” He replied, his head snapping back around as he looked at Lexa.

“Unlike you, I wasn’t thinking about myself,” Lexa replied calmly, “I never have the option to think about myself. That is what being a true leader is, always putting what is best for your people above what you want for yourself. If that choice had been mine to make for myself, what choice do you honestly believe I would have made?”

“That’s the problem,” he said, “because I don’t know.”

“If you could’ve saved your people from the mountain,” she said, wanting him to understand, “the mountain which had claimed hundreds of your people, year after year for as long as anyone could remember, without losing another life, what would you have done? Put yourself in my position, consider all the lives I had to take into consideration, then consider the only life I actually wanted to save…”

Lexa closed her eyes briefly as she realised how selfish she sounded, every life within that mountain was precious to someone, and every person within those cages within the walls of the mountain should have carried equal weight for her. As Heda it did, as Lexa, she wasn’t so sure.

“Have you ever had to make a choice that has eaten away at you every moment since you made it?” Lexa asked, looking back at Bellamy, “have you ever made a choice which has kept you awake every night as you thought about the lives you may have destroyed over the lives which you saved? I had no choice Bellamy, I could end the fear of the mountain which had been long held by my people, and I could get every one of my people out of there with no further loss of life. As a leader that is a choice I had to make.”

“And as a person?” Bellamy asked, never having seen Lexa being so open, though he had never given her the chance to be, “as a person, what would your choice have been?”

“I am the leader of my people,” Lexa replied, “anything I want for myself will always be an afterthought…”

“How long have you been the leader of your people?” he asked.

“I had seen 11 summers when I was called…” Lexa replied.

“You were 11 years old?” he asked, the disbelief evident in his voice, “have you ever had something that was just yours?”

“Once…” Lexa replied honestly, “I had something that was just mine once…”

“And what happened?” Bellamy asked, noticing the way that Lexa was now unable to hold his eye contact.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke’s eyes narrowed as she looked across the courtyard and saw Bellamy and Lexa talking. She had no idea what the two were talking about and as she glanced over at Octavia and Luna she saw that they were as clueless about it as she was. Just as she was about to make a move to go over and find out what was being said she felt a strong arm grip hers. She looked back to see Kassius.

“If she wanted to harm him, she would have done so by now.” He said, causing Clarke to nod as she looked back at Lexa and Bellamy.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

“She was taken from me,” Lexa replied, “tortured and killed by the Queen of the Ice Nation.”

“Why?” he asked, seeing the pain Lexa still felt as if it had happened yesterday.

“Because she was mine,” the girl said with a sad smile, “there was no other reason. This was before the Ice Nation joined the coalition of the 12 clans. We had been at war with them since before I was called to lead my people. My people were at their most vulnerable as I became leader. I was nothing more than a child. The Queen of the Ice Nation believed that she could remove me from my seat of power, before I was old enough to understand. So she took Costia from me in an attempt to learn of my secrets, my weaknesses… She gained nothing but a very powerful enemy.”

“And since then there hasn’t been another….” He said, not sure how to word what he wanted to say.

“There have been many.” Lexa replied with a laugh, “but not one who actually meant anything to me.”

“Until Clarke…” he said, his eyes once again finding the blonde in the crowd.

Lexa didn’t say anything as she followed the line of his eyes and found that he was looking at Clarke, she could see Kassius standing near the blonde, which calmed her almost immediately.

“I can’t say that I understand the choice you made,” Bellamy said as he looked back to Lexa “but I have no idea how you dealt with it. Having to consider everything and everyone else above what you wanted for yourself… Are you and Clarke…?”

“I don’t know.” Lexa replied honestly, “there is something happening but I do not believe she is ready to put a label to it. I don’t blame her, not after what I did. I wouldn’t blame her if she had never wished to talk to me again, nor if she had pulled the trigger that day in the forest. It would have been an end to the nightmare I had been living for the previous four weeks…”

Bellamy nodded a little, completely understanding where Lexa was coming from.

“I won’t interfere anymore,” he said, “I was just looking out for her best interests.”

“As am I,” Lexa replied, “I think we both simply disagree about what her best interests are. To allow someone to live, you have to allow them to make mistakes. A personal choice is to be made by no one other than the person who will have to live with the choice that they make. As much as we are both wanting to protect her, and we both want what is best for her, the only person who truly knows what is best for Clarke, is Clarke. You have to accept that. As her friend, you have to accept it and prepare to be there if it doesn’t work out the way she wants it to…”

“Will it work out the way she wants it to?” he asked.

“I cannot answer that,” Lexa replied with a sigh, “as I have no way of knowing how she wants it to work out. But one thing that I can promise you Bellamy, is that I will do everything that I can to never intentionally hurt her again.”

Bellamy nodded, he couldn’t expect a better answer than that.

“You didn’t answer my question,” Lexa said with a smile, “would you have let her fall?”

“No…” he replied, “no I wouldn’t.”

With a small nod Lexa walked away, leaving Bellamy standing there wondering what the hell had just happened. As he looked back out over the people in the courtyard he could see Clarke looking at him, even at that distance he could see the questioning look in her eyes. He smiled a little and shook his head, walking over to her.

“I’m sorry…” he said.

“For what?” Clarke asked, curious as to what had brought about this change in Bellamy.

“Thinking I knew better than you did what was best for you.” He said, smirking a little, “she’s not so bad.”

Clarke couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped her. She knew that when Bellamy’s conversation with Lexa had started the boy would have been terrified, she knew that Lexa had it in her to make a grown man cry just by looking at him, so she hated to think what Bellamy had thought. But as Kassius had said to her, if Lexa had wanted to hurt Bellamy, she would have.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

The feast had wound down, everyone had made their way back to where they were staying, and Clarke had made her way to her room. Standing out on the balcony she closed her eyes as the cool breeze washed across her face. Though she had pushed Bellamy to tell her about what he and Lexa had talked about, and about what had brought about the massive 180 in his feelings for the other girl, he had simply told her to mind her own business in the nicest possible way. Clarke knew, deep down, that Bellamy had seen a very small part of who Lexa really was, behind the war paint, behind the title, and that was something that she was extremely grateful about. That was a part of herself Lexa kept hidden behind huge walls, Clarke knew how much it must have taken the other girl to allow Bellamy to even see a small glimpse of it.

While she hadn’t got the chance to talk to Lexa, Clarke still felt that calm wash over her that came with the other girl being there. She had no idea if that alone was going to help her get a better night’s sleep, but she could hope. Clarke was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the soft footsteps behind her. But she did catch the tell-tale scent catch on the breeze as Lexa exited the room behind her, Clarke would know Lexa’s smell anywhere. The blonde automatically closed her eyes as Lexa’s arms circled her waist from behind.

“I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight…” Clarke said quietly as she relaxed into the others girl’s arms.

“You didn’t come upstairs…” Lexa replied just as quietly, her lips softly brushing across Clarke’s neck as she spoke.

“You didn’t ask.” The blonde said with a small smile, turning her head a little so she could see Lexa.

“I wasn’t aware that I had to ask…” Lexa said, swallowing hard as her gaze flicked from Clarke’s eyes to her lips.

“I missed you…” Clarke confessed before she could stop herself.

That was all it took for Lexa to completely lose any control that she had over herself at that moment as she softly kissed the blonde’s lips.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I fully intended to update my AU story, but this part was playing around in my head. There's a lot of talking in this part. Abby and Lexa have a little chat after Abby goes to Clarke's room and she isn't there. Please leave a comment and let me know what you think (and please remember to ignore the notes at the end, they still won't go away). Enjoy.

 

 

Clarke and Lexa had moved from Clarke’s room, upstairs to Lexa’s room, as it was the only room in the entire compound where Lexa could hope to get a little privacy. They had talked about a few more things, Lexa’s conversation with Bellamy being something which had very much interested Clarke, though Lexa wouldn’t tell her exactly what was said. A little later on the blonde had fallen asleep, peacefully, once again in the Commander’s bed. Lexa couldn’t sleep, she had too much going through her mind, so once she was sure Clarke was asleep she made her way to the balcony.

While she was standing there, looking out over the city and thinking like she did a lot, she heard footsteps coming up the hallway. She could usually tell who it was by their footsteps alone, this time she couldn’t, which told her that it was one of the new arrivals. Lexa didn’t have to wait long to find out which one it was, as Abby walked out onto the balcony.

“Where’s Clarke?” Abby asked.

Lexa didn’t turn to look at her, she just kept her eyes trained on the city in front of her.

“She isn’t in her room Lexa,” Abby said, “Where is she?”

Lexa let out a frustrated sigh, instead of talking to Abby she walked past her and back into the hallway, motioning for the other woman to follow, which Abby did with a look of confusion on her face. Lexa opened the door to her room and motioned inside. Abby looked inside and saw Clarke fast asleep.

“She’s asleep…” Abby said quietly, obviously not wanting to wake her daughter as Lexa closed the door again.

“Yes.” Lexa replied, walking back out onto the balcony.

“Whose room is that?” Abby asked, although she was sure she already knew the answer.

“Mine.” The girl replied.

“Why is… oh.” Abby said, suddenly very aware of the reason her daughter would be asleep in the Commanders bed, “that’s why she wanted me to talk to you…”

Lexa looked at the older woman, confused about what she had just said.

“Earlier,” Abby said, moving to stand next to Lexa on the balcony, “she and I were talking about your reasons for wanting us here. I asked her if she was sure that you were the best option, as we know nothing about the Ice Nation. She told me, well asked me, to talk to you.”

Lexa nodded a little, looking back out over the city.

“And what would you like to know?” she asked.

“How long have you and Clarke been…” Abby replied, suddenly very unsure about how to word her question, “how long has she been sharing your bed?”

“This night or in total?” Lexa asked, finding herself very amused at how flustered the older woman was getting.

“Lexa…” Abby said, almost silently pleading with the younger girl not to play games with her.

“Tonight makes it 5 nights,” Lexa replied, turning to look at Abby, “though all she has done is sleep. It seemed to help her sleep more peacefully, as I’m sure you’re aware she had been having nightmares.”

“Not since she left the Ark to come here,” Abby said, “and now I know why. Is this part of some plan that you have? Your way to make her trust you?”

“No,” Lexa answered honestly, forcing herself to stay calm. “I cannot force her to trust me Abby, nor would I want to, that is a decision that she has to come to on her own, or it would mean nothing.”

“Tell me about the Ice Nation.” Abby said.

“A fair request,” Lexa said with a nod, “there has been a long history of conflict between our two people, it stretches back as far as anyone can remember. Though they are part of the coalition, they are the one clan I have little to no control over. I should explain how the coalition works, before I tell you more of that. I do not have any say in the day to day running of each clan, they each have their own histories and their own rules. Each clan has its own leader…”

“Like Luna…” Abby said.

“Yes,” Lexa replied, “she is the leader of the Boat People, they are possibly the least violent of the clans in the coalition. They have always been a… peaceful group of people, fighting only when there is absolutely no other option. They were the first to join the coalition, Luna and I have known each other for many years… The Ice Nation were the last clan to join.”

“Why did they?” The older woman asked.

“It was either that or be destroyed.” Lexa said honestly, “I was growing tired of their Queen, her raids on my land, her fighting with my people…”

“I sense the two of you have a personal history.” Abby said, looking out over the city rather than at Lexa while their conversation continued.

“A personal history implies a knowledge of the other before hostilities started…” Lexa replied, “we had never met, not on the battlefield, nor off it, not at that time anyway…”

“So, what, she just took an instant dislike to you?” Abby asked.

“It’s easily done apparently.” Lexa replied with a small smile as she looked at Abby, “but no, she didn’t take a dislike to me personally, it was more that I was the leader of my people. She didn’t like what I was trying to do, uniting the 12 clans. She had been attempting to do much the same thing, knowing that it would increase her base of power…I believe she was behind a raid on the village where I was born, which killed my parents. I have no proof, not even to this day, but I think she had something to do with it.”

“Why would she kill your parents?” the older woman asked.

“It is the best way to weaken an enemy if you cannot attack them directly,” Lexa said, her eyes narrowed as she looked over the city, “remove everything which is important to that person. Especially if that person is in a seat of power. The attack against the village was an attack against me, before my parents were killed, because it is the place which I was born. But killing my parents… it was aimed at making me doubt myself. If I could not protect those closest to me, how could I hope to protect my people…”

“How old were you when your parents were killed?” Abby asked.

“It was just before my 13th summer…” Lexa replied quietly.

“You were…” Abby started to say, “You were a child. How long have you been the leader of your people Lexa?”

“I was 11 when I was called to lead my people,” Lexa said, clenching her jaw as she was sure that she heard pity in Abby’s voice, “Heda’s don’t last very long by tradition. We live to serve our people, protect them. That doesn’t lend itself to a long life.”

“What else did she take from you?” Abby asked, “I’m sensing it didn’t end with your parents.”

“Everything that I ever cared for…” Lexa replied.

Neither of them said anything as Lexa found her mind taking her back as she remembered each of the lives the Queen of the Ice Nation had taken from her.

“When I was 15 it stopped for a while,” Lexa continued, “the attacks against my people directly. She turned her attention to a few of the weaker clans, which she hadn’t thought through properly. Attacking them only pushed them closer to signing the coalition. The union of the clans offered protection for them, an army they didn’t have. My army. The Ice Nation were pushed back to the North. The lands around the borders were protected. For a few months it seemed as though things were quieting down…”

“But…” Abby said, encouraging Lexa to continue.

“She was regrouping,” Lexa said, “the night of my 16th birthday there was an attack on Luna’s people. Obviously my army went to protect her villages. The Ice Nation were pushing on the capitol anyway that they could. If they could get their Queen into Polis, I would not be able to defend my people… the battle lasted months. Each side losing many lives. Then, she again pulled back. But not without taking something with her… something of mine… As she couldn’t reach me directly, nor could she reach Polis with her army, she took the cowards approach. The easiest way to get information on a leader of any people is to talk to the one they hold closest. That person with whom they share their hopes and fears… Their dreams for the future… Her name was Costia…”

“Lexa, I am so sorry…” Abby said quietly, looking at the younger girl, in that moment seeing Lexa as a very young vulnerable child.

“I did nothing,” Lexa replied, swallowing hard, “I didn’t send my army after her, I didn’t fight… It was not in the best interests of my people. It was winter, the lands controlled by the Ice Nation were cold at the best of times, winters are almost impossible to survive. A few weeks later a messenger arrived from the north. After handing Gustus a bag he ran, faster than I have ever seen any human run. The bag was for me, I had to be the one opening it. I already knew what it was. She had returned Costia’s head to me… As the attacks against her people started, as she started receiving the heads of her people returned to her in bags, she requested a meeting. I had no choice but to agree…”

“She wanted to join the coalition…” Abby said.

“She wanted to survive, and she knew that was the only way which she would.” Lexa said with a nod, “so if you believe that she would be the best hope of protection for your people, I would be happy to provide you with directions to get there.”

“How is she still alive?” Abby asked, more to herself than Lexa.

“Because I have yet to have the chance to strike her down,” Lexa replied, “since joining the coalition she has yet to meet me directly, always sending a general to clan meetings. She has not left her territory to the north since that day. She has done nothing more to provoke me, not directly. But she will. She wants to rule, everybody. One day she will step out of line, and when she does…”

“Does she know about Clarke?” Abby asked, looking at Lexa, “Does she know about…?”

“She is aware,” Lexa said with a small nod, “I am unsure how. There are no Ice Nation Elders here, the council member for the Ice Nation is loyal to me, not her… I have a source in her camp, someone she trusts… the second she makes a direct threat against… Abby, you have my word that I will not let anything happen to her.”

In the silence that followed Lexa heard the door to her room open and close. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath, in an attempt to calm herself and remove the emotion that she was sure was very much visible at that moment.

“I thought I heard voices out here…” Clarke said with a yawn as she walked out onto the balcony.

“Did we wake you?” Abby asked.

“No,” Clarke replied with a small smile, “I woke up and…”

Abby looked from Clarke to Lexa, who had yet to look back, she was still looking out over the city.

“Lexa was just helping me to understand a few things,” Abby said, “and if the offer of helping Nyko in the clinic is still open…”

“I will inform him in the morning.” Lexa said with a small nod.

“I should be going to sleep,” Abby said, “thank you for the talk Commander.”

Lexa turned and looked at Abby.

“If there is anything else you wish to know,” she said, “about the histories of the clans, or anything else, my door is always open.”

Abby placed a soft kiss on Clarke’s head and walked back inside.

“Do I want to know what you two were talking about?” Clarke asked Lexa as she walked over to where the Commander was standing.

“She did as you asked her to,” Lexa replied, “I was informing her of the Ice Nation and the history between our two people…”

“You told her about Costia?” Clarke asked.

“That is part of what we talked about, yes.” The Commander replied.

“I didn’t expect her to come up and talk to you about it now, I thought that she’d at least wait until tomorrow.” The blonde said with a small laugh.

“She was actually looking for you.” Lexa said with a smile, “she had obviously looked in your room and you weren’t there. She assumed that I would know where you were.”

Clarke couldn’t stop the small laugh which escaped her as she thought about how that conversation must have started.

“I bet that was awkward.” She said.

“It was entertaining.” Lexa replied.

“Well at least now she knows,” Clarke said, “about the Ice Nation and…”

“There is something that I didn’t tell you,” Lexa said, interrupting the blonde, “about my history with the Ice Nation…”

Clarke narrowed her eyes as she looked at Lexa, wondering just what it was that the Commander had kept from her.

“What?” she asked.

“It would be easier if I show you.” Lexa said with a sigh, walking back inside, Clarke following behind her.

Lexa went into the room which Kassius had referred to as the planning room, the room with the table in the centre which had the map of Lexa’s territory on it. Clarke stood in the doorway and watched as Lexa made her way over to the bookcase, running her fingers along the spines of the books as she looked for the one she needed. As she found the one she needed, she took it from the bookcase. Clarke noticed from the condition of the book that it was one which must have been read a few times. The Commander walked over to the table and put the book down, opening it to the page she wanted she motioned for Clarke to look at it.

“What’s this?” Clarke asked as she walked over to the table and stood next to Lexa.

“Records of attacks on villages and towns,” Lexa said, “I thought that it would be a good idea to keep a record of wars and everything, for whoever follows as the next Heda. Hopefully it will help them not make the same mistakes that I have…”

Clarke looked down at the writing in the book, it was in English so she could read it.

“This is about an attack on Tondc…” she said, looking up at Lexa to see the other girl nod a little, before she continued reading, “when was this attack?”

“I was 13.” Lexa replied.

Clarke continued to read, reading about how the adults in the village had all been rounded up and held in the centre of the village. The attackers had been looking for certain people, they had not killed randomly.

“They…” Clarke said, looking from the book to Lexa.

“Everyone who was related to me,” Lexa said, “yes.”

“Your parents…” the blonde said, as Lexa nodded.

“Continue reading Clarke,” Lexa said, “I will be back in a moment.”

Clarke sat down in one of the chairs as Lexa left the room. She read about how Lexa’s parents had been forced to watch as each of Lexa’s relatives was killed. Her eyes stopped as she read how a small baby had been taken from Lexa’s mother, it didn’t say what happened to the child, it seemed that nobody who was in Tondc could tell them. Closing the book she put it back on the table, she didn’t want to read any more. She couldn’t help but wonder just how many times Lexa had read it over the years. Knowing that she had been unable to save or avenge her own family. While she was waiting for Lexa to come back she couldn’t help but think back to what Jaha had said to her, about the A.I wanting to question Lexa as she had watched as everyone Lexa had cared about had been taken from her. Clarke assumed that Lexa’s parents had simply died, as she had never talked to the other girl about them. Now she knew otherwise. Now she knew that literally everyone that Lexa had cared about had been taken, everyone but Kassius.

“What happened to the baby?” Clarke asked as Lexa came back in carrying two cups, on she put down in front of Clarke, “thanks…”

“No one knows,” Lexa replied, taking a seat near Clarke, “after my parents were killed, Lincoln and the other youngsters attacked, unable to do so before. Nobody could tell me for sure who had attacked the village, or if any of the attackers made it out of Tondc alive. One was brought here, but he didn’t talk… Up until these reports came in I didn’t even know I had a sister. It had been almost a year since I had been there… I was due to be there when the attack happened, but an emergency council meeting was called here, so I had to stay…”

“Who do you think it was who attacked Tondc?” Clarke asked.

“From the tattoo markings the man who was brought here had, I assume it was the Ice Nation,” Lexa said, “There is no way to know for sure. The attackers blended in with everyone else in Tondc, there was no way to tell them apart. It was a well-planned attack, it certainly wasn’t random. A random attack would have focused on everyone, not those who were my blood. This was an attack against me, an attack I still cannot prove who was behind.”

Clarke nodded a little and looked to the bookcase.

“Are all those books filled with records of attacks?” she asked.

“No,” Lexa said looking at the bookcase, “most are. You have to remember, there are around 9 years of records there. They go back to a time before the union of the 12 clans. There was a lot more fighting back then. Attacks on villages and towns were almost a daily occurrence. A lot has changed.”

Clarke put her hand over her mouth to stifle the yawn which was building, she saw Lexa smile a little.

“Sorry…” Clarke said with a smile of her own.

“We can continue this another time.” Lexa said, standing up, “it is very late.”

“Are you actually going to sleep this time?” Clarke asked as she followed Lexa from the room.

“I believe so.” The Commander replied.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke had woken up alone the following morning, which wasn’t a surprise to her, Lexa was always awake well before she was. After she had bathed and changed she went downstairs. She could hear shouting coming from the courtyard. Making her way outside she could see Lexa, Raven, Octavia and Lexa’s guard surrounding something which was on the floor. As she walked over to them she realised that Lexa’s guard were all shouting in Trigedasleng, she understood some of it. They were talking about a monster falling from the skies.

“Seriously,” Raven said, “English, then we can all join in the shouting.”

“They’re talking about a monster falling from the skies…” Clarke said.

As soon as Clarke spoke everyone else fell silent, Lexa and Octavia moving back slightly so that Clarke could get a better view of what was on the floor.

“What the hell is that?” she asked.

“As far as I can tell, it’s a drone,” Raven replied, “I’d be able to tell more if these idiots would stop trying to stab it with their swords.”

“Is it… dead?” Lexa asked looking at Raven.

“It’s a machine,” Raven replied, “it was never alive.”

“Is it disabled Raven?” Clarke asked, trying not to laugh at the confusion on Lexa’s face.

“I would say so,” Raven said, moving closer to the drone and kicking it with her foot, “yep, it’s broken.”

“What is… it?” Lexa said, lowering her sword and indicating to the others to do the same.

“A drone,” Raven repeated, “it’s basically a spying machine, controlled from… somewhere else. It allows you to spy on people, without actually having people there. I built one back on the Ark, as part of my mechanics class.”

“I guess we don’t need to ask who sent it here…” Clarke said with a sigh, “I need to talk to Jaha.”

“Take…” Lexa started to say.

“Kassius with me, I know.” Clarke said finishing Lexa’s sentence, “Kane wants to talk to him as well, so we might as well all go.”

“Raven,” Lexa said looking at the other girl, “if you take that apart would you be able to tell where it came from?”

“I should be able to yeah,” Raven replied with a nod, “there’s usually some kind of mini-computer thing in them, it should have some kind of programmed directions in it. You can actually build these so you fly them using a remote controller, basically something that you hold in your hand as you fly it. But this one looks to be built to fly longer distances unaided.”

Lexa just looked at Raven, her face completely blank.

“Never mind,” Raven said shaking her head, “yes, I should be able to tell you where it came from.”

“Take this up to Ravens room,” Lexa said to a couple of her guards, who both just stood there looking at Lexa in disbelief, “it isn’t going to bite you.”

“It would be so much easier if I had a little workshop…” Raven muttered.

“And what would you require in that workshop?” Lexa asked as she looked at Raven.

“Bellamy brought some stuff with him yesterday,” the other girl replied, “more up to date technology than you have here. It’s all upstairs.”

“You had that brought here without telling me?” Lexa asked.

“I told Clarke…” Raven replied, looking at the blonde.

“No, you didn’t.” Clarke said.

“I meant to tell Clarke…” Raven said, mentally kicking herself, “don’t worry it is nothing that I can use to make anything go boom… it’s one of the computers that we got from the mountain. I figured if the A.I was trying to make contact I could figure that out.”

Lexa walked closer to Raven.

“There is a reason we don’t use that kind of technology here,” she said, her voice low and almost threatening, “you know those reasons. Next time, ask me.”

Raven nodded as Lexa walked back into the compound.

“She still scares the shit out of me…” Raven said as she looked at Clarke.

The blonde laughed a little while shaking her head.

“You really should have told her before you had Bellamy bring it here,” Clarke said to her, “you know where her people stand on that kind of thing.”

“I know,” Raven said, “I honestly thought I told you… and telling you is as good as telling her, right?”

“Asking Clarke to ask Lexa would probably be better,” Octavia said as she watched Lexa’s guard carry the drone inside, “we all know she can’t say no to Clarke.”

“I’m pretty sure she can still say no to me O.” Clarke said with a little laugh.

“Then you’re not doing it right.” Octavia replied as Raven high-fived her.

“As we haven’t actually done… anything…” Clarke said.

“Seriously?” Octavia asked, “wow, you have more self-control than I do.”

“I’m pretty sure a dog in heat has more self-control than you do.” Raven said with a laugh as they all walked back inside.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke and Kane were standing outside Jaha’s cell, as Kassius stood a little way away from them, obviously giving them the space they needed while still doing what Lexa asked him to do.

“The drone,” Clarke said, “where did it come from?”

Jaha didn’t say anything, he just looked at her.

“We know that your… friend must have sent it here,” Clarke continued, “nobody else would have access to that kind of technology now the mountain has fallen. Did you have a check-in time or something, were you supposed to contact her somehow?”

Again he didn’t say anything, Clarke sighed with frustration as she looked at Kane.

“Thelonious,” Kane said, “if you’re expecting Clarke to agree to our people moving to the city beyond the City of Light, then you should probably start talking to her. If she doesn’t know what is at risk, then she will not know which way to turn.”

“Everything is at risk,” Jaha replied, “She knows that. She has been brainwashed by the Grounders, our people are not safe while she is in charge.”

Clarke clenched her jaw as she looked at him, though she managed to keep quiet.

“She believes that there was a separation between the mountain and A.L.I.E,” he continued, “that is not strictly true. Where do you believe that technology came from? Do you really believe that they created it themselves? Where would they get the components needed to build those computers, where did their scientists get the training needed? It is all connected. It always has been.”

“The Mountain Men were her original choice…” Clarke said, more to herself than anyone else.

“They were the most intelligent here on Earth,” Jaha said, “She gave them what they needed to escape the mountain. They were to be the start of the new human race. But…”

“But we arrived and messed that all up for her,” Clarke said, “oh shame. So now she thinks that she can use us?”

“She believes that you will see that preservation is better than conflict.” He said, “Survival is better than extinction.”

“Life isn’t about just surviving,” Clarke replied, “it has to be about so much more than that. This planet is full of infinite possibilities, some better than others. Living under someone else’s control is not living, it is existing.”

“It is what you’re doing now,” he said, “how is it any different. You are here, living in this city, because it leads to your survival. The Commander is your survival Clarke, and that is what she offers you, that is why you’re here. You know that for your people to survive, you have to join sides with her. Why not make it better for your people, for our people, and choose living. A.L.I.E offers us that chance.”

“No,” Clarke said, shaking her head, “working alongside Lexa is the only chance we have to actually survive. All of us. Choosing your way means the deaths of thousands of people.”

“It means the evolution of the human race,” Jaha said, standing up and walking closer to the bars, “evolution Clarke, the continuation of our species. These people are living in the past. Thousands of years before the bombs our species lived in caves, unable to talk, killing because that is all that we knew how to do. The Grounders are not evolving Clarke. They are not moving forwards. They fight and kill because that is all that they know how to do. We are more than that, we’re above that.”

“After the bombs,” Clarke said, “these people were the only ones who survived. They weren’t living in some mountain with the relics of the past surrounding them. They formed groups, clans, they survived. They did what they had to do. What we would’ve had to do if it had been the other way around. Now, as you yourself said not a week ago, they are more evolved than they have ever been. This continent is almost united. That is what A.L.I.E is scared of. People thinking for themselves, creating the world that they want to live in. Is it perfect, no, of course it isn’t. But it was never supposed to be.”

“They are nearly united under a leader who doesn’t think twice about killing,” he said, looking at Clarke, “you’ve seen it yourself, what she is capable of. If something doesn’t fit with her plan, she kills it. If someone disagrees with her, she kills them. If she doesn’t trust someone, she kills them. That is her answer for everything.”

Clarke didn’t say anything, she just stood there looking at him.

“You know that I’m right Clarke.” He said with a small smile, “what happens when she runs out of things to kill. Do you really believe that she can live in peace? Do you really think that the great Commander Lexa has it in her?”

“I’ve heard enough…” Clarke said, turning away from the cell.

“You’re just like your mother Clarke,” Jaha said, “when someone says something you do not like, you simply turn away and hope to ignore it. You know that I’m right. You know that once this fight is over the Commander will look for the next one. What’s next Clarke, the Ice Nation? And after that, then what. A move further south, into the depths of the jungles so she can unite those people as well? She will kill everyone before her and you will do so standing by her side because that is the only way you can see to survive.”

Clarke gripped her gun and turned around, pointing it at Jaha’s head through the bars.

“You have turned away from the very thing that made you human,” Clarke said, “your feelings, your conscience. The world is never going to turn out the way some machine wants it to. Why did she try and destroy the human race before? Because she doesn’t understand us. She will never understand us. We will never fit into her perfect plan because we are human. We have feelings and emotions, something that she has no comprehension of. Did your son lose his life so you could eradicate all of humanity? Did Wells give his life for this?”

“Do not speak of him.” Jaha said, moving closer to the bars.

“Why not?” Clarke asked, “Because he is that reminder that you failed. You couldn’t protect him, you sent him down here to die, and he did. You failed him. You failed all of us. As our chancellor we believed in you. Now you’re just a madman sitting in a cell, ranting about the future of the human race. It is a future you are not going to see.”

Kane put his hand on Clarke’s arm, causing her to look at him.

“Don’t worry,” Clarke said to him, “he’s not even worth wasting a bullet on.”

Clarke lowered her arm and looked at Jaha.

“If you think you have something more to add,” Clarke said, “that isn’t a dig at my mother then you let me know. My mother did the one thing that you couldn’t as Chancellor, she kept us alive.”

“You kept yourselves alive Clarke,” Jaha said quietly, “it wasn’t your mother, you all did that yourselves. We all failed you. That is something that I am trying to make right.”

“By killing us all?” Clarke asked, “because that is what’s going to happen. The world that A.L.I.E wants can’t exist, you know that. Somewhere inside you know that.”

“I cannot see another way.” He said, walking over to the small bed and sitting down.

“You can trust me,” Clarke replied, “trust that I can do this. I can get us all through this, but I need you to trust me.”

He looked at her and sighed, lowering his head a little as Clarke turned and walked away.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke, Kassius and Kane made their way to the training area. Kane had asked Clarke to show him around, and Kassius had been told to stay with Clarke. When they arrived at the training area Clarke was a little surprised by what they saw. The usual Grounders who were always there, helping train the seconds, were still there but it wasn’t the seconds they were training. It was the Sky People.

“Who agreed to this?” Clarke asked Kane.

“I assumed you had.” He replied, to which Clarke shook her head, “oh… your mother maybe.”

“I asked Lexa about it last night,” Bellamy said, walking over to them, covered in mud and Clarke was sure she could see a bruise forming under his right eye, “I figured that if our people are going to have to live together, then they should train together as well.”

“Bell,” Clarke said with a little laugh, “you look like shit.”

“Thanks.” He said with a laugh of his own, “I hope you’re not too upset about this.”

“No,” Clarke said, shaking her head a little, “it actually makes sense. But I think it’s only fair that we train them with our weapons as well.”

“You know what they think about guns.” Octavia said as she walked over to them.

“But the mountain has fallen,” the blonde said, “that threat isn’t there anymore. We could get some targets put up over there…”

She motioned to the far end of the training ground.

“There’s more than enough space to do both here…” she said.

“And you think Lexa will agree with that?” Bellamy asked.

“Think Lexa will agree with what?” The Commander asked as she made her way from watching the training with Luna to standing next to Octavia and Bellamy.

“You’re actually here?” Clarke asked, curious as to why she hadn’t noticed Lexa standing there.

“I considered what Bellamy had said last night,” Lexa said, “as much as I thought it would be a good idea, I also know that some of my people are not exactly pleased with your people being here. I realised that my presence may… dissuade them from killing anyone.”

“And in that one, poorly constructed sentence,” Clarke said with a smirk, “you’ve just proven my point. We have two very different groups of people living here now, with two very different sets of weapons. Your people are comfortable with the blades, bows and arrows and other pointy things, mine are more comfortable with the guns. If my people are training with your weapons, then your people should…”

“Oh no…” Lexa said shaking her head, “no.”

“Oh come on Lexa,” Clarke said, “you know this makes sense.”

“I know that it makes no sense,” Lexa replied, “no sense whatsoever.”

Octavia, Bellamy, Kane and Kassius all just stood there, with looks of pure amusement on their faces.

“How does it not make sense,” Clarke said, “if you’re expecting my people to train with your weapons, to become more ‘integrated’ into your society and your way of doing things, then don’t you think it makes sense the other way around as well. You’re training my people to become more comfortable with your people, what about it being the other way around as well.”

“Do you recall what Kassius mentioned the other night?” Lexa asked, stepping closer to Clarke.

“About what?” Clarke asked in reply.

“Disagreeing with me in public.” Lexa said, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Oh you’re just going to fall back on that every time I say something that you don’t agree with aren’t you.” Clarke said with a roll of her eyes.

“Yes.” Lexa replied with a nod.

“Training does not include talking.” Luna called over to them, “if Indra were here…”

“Then none of you would be talking.” Indra said as she made her way to the training ground, “though as Clarke is here, I understand why everyone is talking rather than training.”

“That is probably the most I’ve heard coming out of your mouth in one go Indra,” Clarke said with a smirk as Lexa looked down at the floor trying not to laugh, “maybe we’re rubbing off on your after all.”

As Bellamy and Octavia made their way back over to continue with the training, Kassius and Kane went over to where Luna was standing, leaving Clarke and Lexa standing alone.

“If I agree to what you were saying,” Lexa said to Clarke, causing the blonde to smile, “I said if… then it would only be right for me to be shown how to handle a gun first. I cannot expect my people to do something that I haven’t done myself.”

“Agreed,” Clarke said, “I’ll talk to Bellamy and Kane about setting up the targets.”

“What would you need for that?” Lexa asked.

“Trees…” Clarke replied with a laugh, “that’s what we used at Camp Jaha.”

Lexa nodded a little.

“Talking of Jaha,” she said as she and Clarke both turned to watch the training, “how did it go?”

“I might be making progress.” The blonde replied, “though I did have to point my gun at his head to do it.”

“Is your gun actually loaded today?” Lexa asked.

“No,” Clarke said with a laugh, “but he didn’t know that.”

“Clarke.” Indra said turning to them, “are you training?”

“The injury I picked up a few days ago is still bothering me…” she said.

“Excuses.” Indra replied.

Lexa smirked a little, she knew exactly what Indra was doing.

“A real warrior does not make excuses.” Indra said.

With a sigh Clarke walked towards Luna who held out her sword.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part hasn't let me alone all day. It seems that this whole thing is just taking on a life of its own, and I'm actually okay with that. Things between Clarke and Lexa get a little more heated towards the end of this part. We also explore a little more about the Azegda in this chapter. There are two main plot lines here, one is the Azgeda, the other is A.L.I.E. They will intertwine as the story goes on. Don't forget to comment, I want to see if anyone picks up on the twist in this part. Please enjoy reading, as I am very much enjoying writing this story :)

 

 

Clarke had fallen asleep pretty quickly that night, Indra had trained her until she could no longer keep her arm up when she was holding her sword. She’d heard Lexa talking to the older woman, the Commander was not happy with something. Clarke was sure that Lexa hadn’t been too impressed with how hard Indra had pushed her, the blonde herself didn’t mind too much.

The blonde had been woken up the following morning by someone knocking on Lexa’s bedroom door, while she was still letting herself adjust to the morning she had heard Kassius tell Lexa that Echo had arrived. She had heard the name before, Bellamy had mentioned her. She had been one of the Grounders who had been in Mount Weather. Clarke had obviously never met her, Lexa having taken her people and left, but Bellamy spoke pretty highly of her. He also mentioned that she was Ice Nation. Clarke had heard Kassius use the word goufa, she knew that meant child, Lexa had called her it more than once. She couldn’t help but wonder what Echo was doing with a child, and why she had brought that child with her to Polis. Bellamy had said that Echo was about his age, she knew that Grounders worked differently when it came to having children, but she didn’t think that Echo herself would have a child yet.

After she dragged herself out of bed, still aching from the previous days training with Indra, Clarke made her way out of Lexa’s bedroom. As she was walking down the hallway she saw that the door to the planning room was closed, outside the room Kassius stood with a small child. Clarke put her at about 8 years old. She had her eyes focused on the floor after Clarke noticed she had been looking at her when she left Lexa’s room.

“Morning.” Clarke said to Kassius with a smile, “everything okay?”

He nodded simply, letting Clarke know in that one movement that something was going on that he didn’t want to mention to her at that moment. Clarke looked at the child before looking back at Kassius with a questioning look on her face, he just shrugged his shoulders. An action that he had picked up after spending time around Raven.

“Hi…” Clarke said to the kid.

The young girl flicked her eyes up at Clarke before looking back at a spot on the floor. Clarke noticed that she had green eyes, eyes that were somehow familiar to her.

“My name is Clarke,” the blonde said, trying again, “what’s your name?”

Again the girl didn’t answer, this time she didn’t even acknowledge that Clarke had spoken to her.

“Not very talkative,” Clarke said with a shrug, “I get it…”

The girl looked at her, like she was trying to figure her out. Clarke felt like she was being studied.

“Neva…” the girl said, her eyes still locked on Clarke, “my name.”

“It’s nice to meet you Neva,” Clarke said with a little smile, “have you had breakfast?”

The young girl shook her head.

“Clarke,” Kassius said, “you may want to ask Heda if that’s okay…”

Clarke nodded a little and knocked on the door of the planning room.

“What?” Lexa called from inside the room.

Clarke looked down and Neva and pulled a little face.

“Someone is in a bad mood this morning…” she said before opening the door, “sorry, to interrupt…”

“What is it Clarke?” Lexa asked, her tone letting Clarke know that she was in the middle of something important.

“I was heading down to breakfast and the kid hasn’t eaten.” Clarke said.

“Then take the goufa with you.” Lexa replied, “but don’t let her out of your sight, I don’t want her wandering off somewhere.”

“Yes, Heda.” Clarke replied, her eyes letting Lexa know that she wasn’t amused with being told what to do.

Before she closed the door Clarke noticed that Echo refused to meet her eyes, yet another thing that the blonde wasn’t keen on. Something was going on that Lexa wasn’t telling her, she made a mental note to bring it up with the Commander later.

Closing the door a little louder than she needed to, Clarke rolled her eyes and looked down at Neva.

“Let’s go and get you some breakfast.” She said with a smile.

The girl didn’t reply, she just followed Clarke down the stairs.

“So,” Clarke said, trying to make conversation with the child, “is this your first time in Polis?”

“Yes,” she replied, “my Kwin told me to come.”

“Your Kwin…” Clarke said quietly, trying to remember the English translation, “your Queen?”

The young girl nodded.

“You’re Azgeda?” Clarke asked.

“Ice Nation,” Neva replied, “yes.”

Clarke didn’t say anything, nor did she notice the small smile on Neva’s lips.

“That makes you uncomfortable?” she asked Clarke.

“I haven’t met many of your people,” Clarke replied, “that’s all.”

“We have heard stories of you,” Neva said as they walked, “our kwin calls you Wanheda.”

“What does that mean?” Clarke asked, stopping as she looked at the girl.

“The Commander of Death.” Neva replied as she continued walking down the stairs, expecting Clarke to follow her.

“Why would she call me that?” Clarke asked as she made her way down the stairs.

“You brought down the mountain, didn’t you?” Neva asked in reply.

“Not alone…” Clarke said.

“That is not how the stories are told.” The young girl said, stopping as she caught sight of Octavia and Raven.

“Hey Princess,” Octavia said, “who is your new friend?”

“Neva,” Clarke said, her brow furrowing a little as she thought about what the young girl had said, “this is Raven and Octavia, guys this is Neva, she’s visiting with Echo, from the Azgeda.”

Both girls looked down at the younger girl, their eyes betraying how they felt about the Ice Nation. Either Neva didn’t notice or she didn’t care as she looked at Clarke.

“Which way to breakfast, Wanheda?” she asked.

“Don’t call me that.” Clarke said.

“This way to breakfast kid,” Raven said, motioning for Neva to follow her as Clarke stayed where she was, “I’ll show you.”

“Raven…” Clarke said.

“I’ll keep an eye on her, don’t worry.” Raven replied as she walked with Neva to the breakfast room.

“Wanheda?” Octavia asked, “That’s a new one.”

“It means…” Clarke started to say.

“I know what it means Clarke,” Octavia replied, “but do you know the significance that it carries?”

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked.

“You need to talk to Lexa.” Octavia said, shaking her head a little, “ask her about the stories her people have told for generations about the arrival of Wanheda…”

Clarke stayed glued to the spot as Octavia followed Raven and Neva through to breakfast, she suddenly wasn’t very hungry. If she had her way she would’ve turned right around and gone back upstairs. But she couldn’t do that. Lexa had told her to keep an eye on the goufa, so that’s what she had to do.

She walked through to the breakfast room to find everyone sitting in silence. Luna and Lincoln had their eyes fixed on Neva, who didn’t seem to notice them looking at her. As soon as she walked into the room Luna stood up.

“Sky Girl, a word.” She said, grabbing Clarke’s arm and dragging her off to the side of the room, “who is that?”

“Her name is Neva.” Clarke replied.

“And where does she come from?” Luna asked in reply, keeping her voice quiet enough that no one other than her and Clarke would know about this conversation.

“She’s from the Ice Nation.” Clarke asked, “why?”

Luna shook her head a little.

“Why, Luna?” Clarke asked again.

“She looks familiar,” Luna replied, “though I know, as she’s Ice Nation, that I’ve never seen her before.”

“She called me Wanheda…” Clarke said, “Apparently that’s what their Queen has been calling me.”

“The Commander of Death?” Luna asked with a smirk on her lips, “oh that’s classic. Clarke, you’re good, but you’re not that good.”

“What does that mean?” Clarke asked.

“The Commander of Death is, in Grounder stories, the person who is going to kill the last Heda.” Luna replied, “they’re stories we were all told as children, scary stories that were supposed to stop us sleeping at night. Nothing more.”

“So why is their Queen calling me it?” Clarke asked.

“You’re an urban legend Sky Girl.” Luna said with a laugh, “you’re probably what the Ice Nation warns their children about, if they don’t train properly and learn, then the Wanheda is going to take them away.”

Clarke laughed a little as Luna finished what she was saying.

“I might have to try that with the goufa’s in my camp,” Luna said with a smile as she walked away, “see if it works.”

Before the group had finished breakfast Echo joined them. She entered into a pretty comfortable conversation with Lincoln and Octavia once she had introduced herself, Octavia obviously recognising her name from conversations she’d had with Bellamy about the mountain.

“I never got the chance to thank you, Clarke.” Echo said as she looked over at her.

“For what?” Clarke asked.

“Freeing my people from the mountain.” Echo replied.

“I didn’t free your people,” Clarke said, standing up, “your Commander did. Excuse me.”

Clarke made her way back upstairs, instead of going to talk to Lexa she went to her own room, closing the door she sat on her bed. Even though Luna had tried to make a joke of it, Clarke couldn’t stop thinking about what Neva had said. She didn’t want to be known as the girl who brought down the mountain, she didn’t want to be reminded of the lives she had taken to save her people. It actually made her feel physically sick. Another thing that set her a little on edge was that the Queen of the Ice Nation knew who she was. She shouldn’t have been surprised by it, Echo was Ice Nation, there’s no telling how many other people from the Ice Nation had been in the mountain. The Ice Nation Queen knowing who she was may not have been more than Echo and the others telling her what had happened. But them telling her about it would mean that they would have also told her that Lexa had broken the alliance with the Sky People. Lexa had freed her people, but it had been Clarke who had brought down the mountain.

Lost in her thoughts she didn’t hear the knock at her door, nor did she hear the door opening, closing, and Lexa walking in.

“Clarke?” Lexa asked, slowly walking over to the blonde girl who still didn’t look at her, “are you okay?”

Clarke blinked and looked at Lexa.

“She knows who I am…” Clarke said, “the Ice Nation Queen, she…”

“I know…” Lexa replied with a nod.

“You know?” Clarke asked.

“Yes.” Lexa said simply as she sat on the chair that was in Clarke’s room.

“Of course you do,” Clarke said with a sigh, “and when were you going to tell me?”

“When it was necessary.” The Commander replied.

“When it was…” Clarke started to say, shaking her head, “you didn’t think I deserved to know?”

“I didn’t think you needed to add any more trouble to your life, unnecessarily,” Lexa said, “It is not something that you need to worry about, Clarke.”

“Right,” Clarke said standing up and walking over to the window, “because it’s not like she had people come into this very compound and take Costia without you being able to stop her.”

“That is unfair, Clarke.” Lexa said, her voice betraying the anger she was now feeling.

“Is it?” Clarke asked, turning to look at her, “because that’s what happened Lexa.”

The Commander didn’t reply, she just clenched her jaw and looked at the floor as she took a deep breath.

“Is that why Echo is here?” Clarke asked, “Would you even know if that’s why she was here?”

“Of course I would know,” Lexa replied, “Echo is the one who has been giving me the information about the Azgeda.”

“And the child,” Clarke said, “why is she here?”

“I don’t know,” Lexa replied honestly, “all Echo has said is that the Queen was insistent that she bring her. Echo believes that she may be lining the girl up to be her second, though that is something she has never done before. She has never taken a second, for the same reason that I have never had a second. It’s too much of a risk.”

Clarke clamped her eyes closed and pinched tightly at the bridge of her nose.

“I’m sorry…” she said, shaking her head a little, “I just… I shouldn’t have said that about Costia… I’m sorry.”

“A lot has changed since then Clarke,” Lexa said with a sigh, “I will not make the same mistakes again.”

“They’re calling me Wanheda, did you know that?” Clarke asked as she looked at Lexa.

“No,” Lexa said, “that I did not know. Though I am not surprised.”

“Octavia told me to talk to you about it, but Luna already filled me in.” Clarke said, “Your people believe that the arrival of Wanheda will end in the death of the last Heda…”

“Those were the stories we were told, yes,” Lexa said with a little smile, “I believe your people have something similar when they are around camp fires. They are ghost stories Clarke, nothing more. Though it does not surprise me that the Queen refers to you as such. It is yet another weakness in her eyes. I cannot see that you will be the death of me.”

“You’re not weak Lexa…” Clarke said, “You’re probably the strongest person I’ve ever met.”

Lexa didn’t say anything right away, she just smiled softly at the sincerity she heard in Clarke’s words.

“Did the goufa eat breakfast?” she finally asked, changing the subject.

“She did,” Clarke replied with a nod, “her name is Neva…”

“Her name means snow,” Lexa said with a shake of the head, “it’s quite fitting, given that she is Azegda.”

“Luna finds her familiar,” the blonde said as she turned and looked out of the window, “though she knows there is never any way she could have met her. Lincoln was also looking at her in a similar way…”

“All Echo could tell me about her was that she was raised in the Queens compound in the Azgeda capitol after being found as an orphan,” Lexa replied as she stood up and joined Clarke by the window, “if she knows anything more than that she has decided not to tell me.”

“Do you trust her?” Clarke asked, glancing at Lexa.

“Echo or the child?” The Commander asked in reply.

“Echo.” Clarke said.

“She has never given me a reason not to,” Lexa explained, “she actually requested to remain here in Polis after the fall of the mountain. But I needed somebody I trusted, somebody the Queen trusted, to inform me of any changes there, so I sent her back. She actually has an interest in one of your people I believe.”

“Bellamy.” Clarke said with a little laugh, “he mentioned something about her to me one night when we were all drinking, not long after. He said he regretted that he didn’t have the opportunity to get to know her better.”

“Well she is to remain here for a while,” Lexa said, “maybe that will change.”

“Maybe…” Clarke said with a nod.

“I need to leave,” Lexa said, “I have a council meeting to get to…”

Clarke laughed a little at the way Lexa said that, like she really didn’t want to go.

“Not exactly the highlight of your day Commander?” she asked with a laugh of her own.

“The highlight of my day is the same every day.” Lexa said, keeping her attention on the view out of the window, even though she knew Clarke was looking at her.

“What is it?” Clarke asked, still looking at Lexa.

“Waking up next to you…” Lexa replied honestly, “something that I never thought would happen after what I did…”

“I forgive you Lexa…” Clarke said quietly.

Clarke watched as her words caused Lexa to close her eyes and take a deep breath, as if they were words that she never expected to hear from Clarke’s lips. She slowly raised her hand, placing it softly on Lexa’s cheek, she turned the Commanders face to hers and closed the gap between their lips. The kiss started off tentatively, as neither girl was sure if the other was going to leave. Lexa backed away a little, giving Clarke the opportunity to end it there if she wanted to, but she didn’t. Clarke placed one hand on Lexa’s hip and kissed her again, deepening the kiss almost immediately. The Commanders hands travelled up and tangled in the blonde’s hair as Clarke pulled her closer. Clarke nearly came undone on the spot as Lexa moaned a little into her mouth as their bodies pressed together.

The moment was broken by a knock at the door. Clarke groaned and Lexa laughed a little. They both stood breathless for a moment, before another knock came at the door.

“I should see who that is…” Clarke said, to which Lexa nodded a little in reply, “don’t move.”

Lexa simply smiled a little as Clarke walked to the door, opening it to reveal her mother.

“I’m sorry,” Abby said, “I thought you were alone.”

“I was just leaving.” Lexa said with a small smile as she moved to walk past Clarke.

“Lexa…” Clarke said.

“The Council meeting,” Lexa explained, “I cannot miss it.”

Clarke nodded a little.

“Will you be training with Indra and the others later?” The Commander asked.

“Probably.” The blonde replied with a small laugh, “she seems to enjoy watching me get my butt kicked.”

“She takes pleasure in simple things,” Lexa said, “I will see you at the training ground later.”

Clarke sighed a little as she watched Lexa leave, powerless to stop her.

“I really am sorry,” Abby said as they both moved into the room, “I didn’t know she was in here.”

“It’s okay,” Clarke said shaking her head a little, “I knew she had somewhere else to be. Is there something that you needed?”

“I wondered if you wanted to help out at the clinic this morning.” Abby said hopefully.

“As I have absolutely nothing else to do,” Clarke said with a little smile, “why not.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neva is pronounced NAY-vah for anyone wondering :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part darn near killed me to write. I am now emotionally numb. I really hope you enjoy reading it. Be sure to comment and let me know whether my emotional pain and suffering was worth it. (the end notes won't go away, still, it's been 84 years...)

 

 

 

All through the council meeting Lexa hadn’t been able to focus on what was being said. There had been many times since she had been called to lead her people where she had wished she could be anywhere but at a council meeting, for very other reasons than she had now, usually she was just bored. But she’d had a lot of practice at keeping her feelings hidden, so as her mind wandered Lexa managed to make it look like she was listening to every word that was being said. Of course she was hearing everything, just in case there was anything important that she would be expected to reply to, but her thoughts really weren’t about how a child from the poorer part of Polis had stolen food or how Marius had managed to lock himself out of his home again.

“Heda…” One of the council members said, causing Lexa to realise that she had just missed a question, “what are we to do about the child, she is 6 years old…”

“Theft is a crime.” Another said.

“Kassius will take some food from my kitchen and take it to the child and her family,” Lexa replied with a sigh, “one thing that I promised myself when I became leader was that I would not stand by and watch as my people starve. I will not be that leader. Anything more?”

“No Heda.” The first council member said with a small nod.

“Does anyone have anything more?” Lexa asked looking around the room.

“The Azgeda being here, Heda…” A voice said, causing Lexa to see who had said it.

“What of it Nathanial?” She asked.

“Are you sure that is wise?” he asked in reply.

“It is not the Azgeda,” Lexa said, “it is two people, one of whom has my trust. Until their Queen herself sees it fit to grace us with her presence…”

A small laugh went around the room.

“There is nothing to worry about.” Lexa said.

“Yes, Heda.” Nathanial said lowering his head a little.

Nathanial’s son had died with many others fighting the Azgeda when they had attacked Luna’s people. Lexa knew that he would be a little uneasy about them being in Polis.

“Anything more?” Lexa asked, fighting to contain the bored sigh which was threatening to escape her.

“If I may Heda,” someone said, stepping forward, “there is talk around the building about your… situation.”

“What situation?” Lexa asked, sitting forward a little, meeting the man’s eyes.

“The Sky People, Heda,” he said, “more specifically, their leader…”

“Her name is Clarke.” Lexa replied, “and just what are people saying?”

“People are… curious, about why the Sky People are here,” the man said, knowing he was risking a lot for talking out of place, “and they are also talking about why… Clarke has not been sleeping in the room you provided for her.”

Lexa clenched her jaw a little as she looked around the room, not one single person was meeting her eyes. She looked at Kassius who was standing at the back of the room. His face was emotionless, Lexa couldn’t read him.

“The Sky People are here for their protection until the current threat from the city beyond the City of Light has been dealt with,” Lexa said in her best Heda voice, “as our people need to work together against this threat it was decided that they should come here…”

“Though not all of them have come here.” The man said.

“If you’d have let me finish before interrupting me,” Lexa said, “I would have explained that some needed to stay at their camp, to ensure the safety of it, as it is still their home. As for Clarke and her sleeping arrangements, that isn’t any of your concern.”

“Heda…” he said.

“The topic is closed.” Lexa said, letting him know in no uncertain terms, that her relationship with Clarke was not something she was willing to talk about.

The room began to empty, Lexa remain seated and Kassius walked over to her.

“You knew it was only a question of time before people started asking questions Heda.” He said quietly to her.

“I expected to have a little more time,” Lexa replied with a sigh, “and how did it become Council knowledge that Clarke hasn’t been sleeping in her room?”

“I don’t know.” He said.

“I want to know Kassius,” Lexa said, “I want to know, who on my staff, has been talking to people that they should not.”

“Yes, Heda.” Kassius said with a nod before leaving the room.

After a few more moments sitting by herself Lexa stood and walked from the room. She saw Neva standing not too far away, it looked like she may have been standing there for a while. Lexa couldn’t help but think that the young girl may have been trying to listen in on the council meeting. The Commander shook her head and told herself that she was being paranoid.

“Where’s Echo?” Lexa asked as she walked over to the girl.

“The training ground.” Neva replied, looking down at her feet.

“And why are you not with her?” The Commander asked, narrowing her eyes a little as she looked at the child.

“I was looking for Clarke.” Neva said, looking up at Lexa for a moment.

“Was she not at the training ground?” The older girl asked, remembering that Clarke had told her that is where she would be.

“No,” Neva replied, shaking her head a little, “Indra was looking for her, she sent me here to see if she was at the meeting with you.”

“Indra knows that Clarke doesn’t attend council meetings.” Lexa said.

“As Wanheda wasn’t at the training ground, and she wasn’t in her room,” Neva said, her lips curling into a small smile as Lexa fought the urge to smile at the name linked to Clarke, “Indra thought that she may have been here.”

“Well you can return to Indra and inform her that she isn’t.” Lexa replied.

“Yes.” Neva said with a nod.

“Yes what?” Lexa asked, her eyes narrowed a little.

“Heda.” Neva replied, walking away.

Lexa shook her head a little as the young girl walked away. She was finding it hard to believe that Neva was only 8 years old. Lexa wondered if she’d had the same attitude when she was that age. Laughing a little she remembered some of the stories that Indra had told her about what Anya had said about Lexa’s training. Anya had asked many times for another second, thinking that Lexa would get either her or Anya killed at some point. There were sometimes that she really missed having the older girl around, now was one of those times. With a deep breath Lexa left the compound, she only had one more idea where Clarke could be, so she headed to the clinic.

As she made her way to the clinic Lexa remembered the last time she had walked around Polis without a guard, it had been back when Costia was still alive. In the time that followed, when she was in the city, Lexa spent most of her time in the compound, only venturing out when she had no other choice. A lot had changed for Lexa after Costia died. She found herself not trusting anyone, not even those closest to her. Now things were changing again, and Lexa found herself terrified. Getting closer to the clinic she noticed a queue of people outside. Lexa knew that Nyko’s clinic was one of the busiest in Polis, as he was one of the most trusted healers, but she had never remembered it to be this busy so early in the day.

Walking into the clinic she couldn’t help but notice Clarke before she picked up on anything else. The blonde was standing next to one of the beds, talking to a small child. The child looked scared, not by Clarke, but probably by the clinic. Clarke was making him laugh and helping him to relax as Abby took some blood from his arm.

“Heda.” Nyko said as he saw her, “are you sick?”

“No,” Lexa said with a smile shaking her head a little, “Clarke was supposed to be at the training ground with the others, I believe Indra is close to sending out a search party.”

The blonde turned as she heard her name mentioned.

“Indra’s going to kill me isn’t she?” Clarke asked with a laugh, “it was busy here, I lost track of time.”

Lexa nodded a little, a small smile on her lips as she realised she hadn’t seen Clarke this relaxed in a long time.

“Is everything okay here?” Lexa asked Nyko, “The line outside is longer than I remember it being before.”

“Word got around pretty quickly that the Sky doctor was here,” Nyko said motioning over to Abby, “we have both Trikru and Skai Kru patients now.”

“Is that going to be a problem?” she asked.

“No Heda,” Nyko replied, “no problem at all.”

“Good.” Lexa said with a nod.

“I should probably get to the training ground,” Clarke said with a sigh, “wouldn’t want Indra kicking my butt.”

“I can inform Indra that you are more useful here today, if you would prefer.” Lexa said, noticing that Clarke tensed up slightly at the thought of the training ground.

“It’s okay,” Clarke replied with smile, “I think O wants a rematch.”

“You two will do yourselves some serious damage one day.” Lexa said with a laugh, not noticing how people in the clinic were watching her interactions with Clarke with great curiosity.

“It’s all in good fun.” The blonde said with a laugh of her own.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Lexa stood at the training ground next to Luna and Indra, watching as Clarke and Octavia lay in the mud, laughing. The ‘rematch’ had ended with them both lying flat on their backs. The Commander noticed Neva looking very confused at the blonde and the brunette. She couldn’t help but wonder if the Azgeda had any fun while training, she didn’t think so.

“Why does she stand for this?” Neva asked Echo, while in earshot of Lexa.

“Stand for what?” Echo asked, looking down at the other girl.

“This is not training.” Neva replied.

Echo looked over at Lexa and arched her eyebrow a little. Lexa shook her head slightly and wondered if Neva had ever had the chance to be a child.

“If you two are quite finished.” Indra said, causing Clarke and Octavia to stand up.

“Sorry…” Clarke said, while still laughing.

“Octavia,” Lexa said, while unfastening her armour and taking off her jacket, “would you like a real challenge.”

“I’m a challenge.” Clarke said while looking at Lexa.

“That we can agree on.” Lexa replied.

“Heda,” Luna said, “I don’t think that…”

“Sure,” Octavia said with a nod, “bring it on, Heda.”

Lexa smiled a little as she walked forward swinging her sword. She could see Neva watching her from where she was stood with Echo, her eyes were narrowed, like she was studying her every move. She could also see Lincoln shaking his head at the sight in front of him.

“You don’t have to do this Octavia…” he said.

“Too late now.” Luna said, shaking her head a little.

“I give O 5 seconds.” Clarke said with a smile as she looked at Lincoln.

“Thanks for the vote of confidence Princess.” Octavia replied as Lexa started to circle her.

“Concentrate.” Indra said, causing Octavia to snap her attention back to Lexa.

“This is going to hurt isn’t it…” she said quietly.

“It isn’t going to hurt me.” Lexa replied with a small laugh.

Lexa stopped, dropping into her fighting stance as she looked at the other girl. Octavia cleared her head of everything else and focused on the task in front of her, shaking her head a little as she dropped into a fighting stance of her own. Lexa nodded a little and Octavia dropped her sword and walked off to the side of the fighting space.

“Fuck that…” she said with a laugh.

“Anyone else?” Lexa asked, laughing at the look on Octavia’s face.

“I’ll dance with you Heda.” Lincoln said with a laugh of his own.

Luna closed her eyes and looked up.

“You looking for divine intervention or something?” Octavia asked looking at her.

“The last time these two trained together, Lexa was 12 and Lincoln ended up at the healer’s clinic for a week.” Luna replied.

“A lot has changed since then Luna.” Lexa said as she heard what the other girl had said.

“Yeah, now it’ll be two weeks.” Luna said with a laugh, causing Lexa to laugh as she looked over at her.

While Lexa’s attention was on Luna, Lincoln took his chance, swinging his leg around and catching Lexa off balance. The whole place dropped into a deathly silence as Lexa hit the floor.

Lincoln smiled a little as Lexa sprang back to her feet, immediately fixing her eyes on him.

“Yep, he is so done…” Octavia said, “it was nice knowing you Lincoln.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Later that evening, Clarke was sitting in Lexa’s room, reading another of the records books while Lexa was deep in concentration about something.

“Did you notice Lincoln struggling to eat earlier,” Clarke said, looking across the room to where the Commander was stood by the fire, “you could’ve gone easy on him.”

“I did go easy on him.” Lexa replied.

“Is that how you would’ve been with Octavia?” Clarke asked, her brow furrowing a little as she noticed that it was like Lexa wasn’t there.

“No,” The Commander replied, shaking her head a little, “that would have been unfair.”

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked as she stood up and walked over to where Lexa was standing.

She moved to put her hand on Lexa’s shoulder but the other girl knew what she was about to do and moved away a little, so she was standing just out of Clarke’s reach.

“And we’re back to being distant…” Clarke said, shaking her head as she walked back to the chair and sat down.

“I’m not being distant Clarke,” Lexa said with a sigh, “after the evening meal Luna reminded me what day today would have been, that’s all.”

“What today would have been?” Clarke asked, obviously not really understanding what Lexa was talking about.

“Today would have been Costia’s birthday…” Lexa said quietly, her eyes trained on the flames of the fire, “and I didn’t remember… I was too busy messing around like a goufa to remember…”

“Lexa…” Clarke said, knowing that any words she had wouldn’t be enough, then something came to her mind, “did the Ice Nation Queen know when Costia’s birthday was?”

Lexa didn’t say anything, she just turned and looked at Clarke. The look on her face was one that Clarke hadn’t seen in a while, the girl looking back at her wasn’t Lexa, it was the Commander.

“Just hear me out,” Clarke said raising her hands a little, “don’t you find it a little strange that today of all days Echo and the kid come here? I mean, you obviously didn’t know they were coming, isn’t it a little weird that it just happens to be today?”

“I’m not sure I follow…” Lexa replied with a sigh, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Maybe I’m over-thinking it,” Clarke said with a shrug, “but you and she are not the best of friends, heck you’re not even the most civil of enemies. From what you’ve told me, you agreed to them joining the coalition because it would be best for your people, even after everything that she did. She killed Costia, and sends Echo and Neva here today to remind you that she’s still alive… Like I said, maybe I’m over-thinking things.”

“It is possible…” Lexa said, turning her attention back to the fire, “after the Ice Nation joined the coalition I found out that the room we had the first meeting in had been the room in which she had… the room where Costia died.”

“What happened to blood must have blood?” Clarke asked, curious about Lexa’s choices of the past.

“786 Ice Nation warriors died following Costia’s death,” Lexa said coldly, “a third of that number by my sword, blood had blood Clarke.”

“Yet the woman who ended Costia’s life still breathes.” Clarke replied, “that has to eat away at you…”

“Every single day…” Lexa said honestly.

“Is that why the Queen herself has never been here?” Clarke asked.

Lexa turned to face her, she hadn’t told Clarke that the Ice Nation Queen hadn’t been to Polis, she had told Abby.

“It’s in the records…” Clarke said motioning down to the book she was reading.

“I think it may have something to do with why she hasn’t been here,” Lexa said with a nod, “but she must also know that as the leader of a clan that is part of the coalition I can, unfortunately, do her no harm for her actions of the past. It was part of the agreement reached.”

“If I were her I’d have come here,” Clarke said, “I mean come on, she killed the love of your life Lexa, and you can do nothing about it. What happens if she came here and you killed her?”

“The coalition would break,” Lexa replied, shifting her eyes away from Clarke again, finding herself unable to hold contact with the soft pools of blue, “not just between the Ice Nation and my people, but between every clan. It would show them that I cannot be trusted to keep my word…”

“What if she were to break her agreement?” Clarke asked.

“The only way she could do that would be to attack my people, or any other member of the coalition,” Lexa replied, “she stands to lose too much in the agreement to do that.”

“What did the Ice Nation get in the agreement?” the blonde asked, closing the book that sat in front of her.

“It opened trade routes,” Lexa said, “they are free to trade with any other of the clans in the coalition. If they are attacked they can send a request to me for my army to join them in the North… They can live in peace, without fear from attack by me or any of the other clan leaders. Obviously they are free to come and go from coalition territory as they see fit.”

“What did you get out of it?” Clarke asked, realising that the Queen stood to gain a lot more than Lexa did.

“The end of a war.” Lexa stated.

“A war that you didn’t want to end…” Clarke said quietly.

“A war that had to end for the good of my people,” Lexa replied, “I could stop the loss of life on both sides, so I did.”

“For the truce between our people to begin,” Clarke said standing up and making her way over to the fire, “you wanted Finn. Could you not have made the same demands of the Ice Nation, hand over the bitch and everyone else can live?”

“Finn killed 18 of my people Clarke,” Lexa said, “Innocent people. Elders and children. She had taken the lives of many of my people in war… In war people die.”

“Costia was innocent…” the blonde replied, knowing that she may be pushing Lexa a little too far, but she knew that Lexa probably needed to talk about it, whether she wanted to or not.

“What do you expect me to say?” Lexa asked, her eyes locked on Clarke, “That Costia’s death was my fault? That I am responsible?”

“But you’re not…” Clarke said.

“I am.” Lexa replied, “I am the one who fell in love, I am the one who knew the risks that came with that, yet I did it anyway. I am the one who failed to protect her when she was here, in my city. I am the one who didn’t do enough. She may have died at the Queen of the Ice Nation’s hand, but the fault lies with me alone… They are all mistakes that I regret every day of my life, yet here I am making the same mistakes again. It equates to nothing more than madness.”

Clarke didn’t say anything, she didn’t know what to say.

“Madness is making the same choices again and hoping for a different result…” Lexa concluded.

“You can’t close yourself off to the world around you Lexa…” Clarke said, slowly walking over to the other girl, “you cannot stop living because of what happened in the past. Costia wouldn’t want that.”

Lexa stepped back as Clarke walked closer.

“I need some air.” She said, walking over to where her jacket was hanging and putting it on before stopping at the door, “please do not follow me.”

Clarke watched as Lexa left the room. She couldn’t help that maybe she had pushed her too far. The blonde had never seen her just give up and walk away like that. With a groan Clarke left the room and went to find Luna. She knew she wouldn’t be asleep, and although Lexa had asked her not to follow her, Clarke had a feeling that Luna would know where she was going.

It didn’t take long for Clarke to find Luna, she was sitting with Kassius and Indra, and they were deep in conversation when Clarke entered the room, dropping silent as they saw her.

“Something we can do for you Sky Girl?” Luna asked.

“Can I talk to you?” Clarke asked in reply.

“Sure…” Luna replied.

“In private.” The blonde said, looking between Kassius and Luna, while completely ignoring Indra’s eyes.

“I’m flattered and all,” Luna said with a smirk as she stood up, “but you’re really not my type.”

“Funny,” Clarke said rolling her eyes, “remind me to laugh later.”

Luna and Clarke walked from the room, the blonde could feel Indra’s eyes following her as they left.

“What’s wrong?” Luna asked as Clarke leant up against the wall.

“Lexa and I were talking,” Clarke replied, “I could tell her mind wasn’t exactly here…”

“She told you what day it is…” Luna said with a nod.

“Yeah,” the blonde said, “and she was feeling guilty for not remembering. So I figured that it was obviously something that she needed to talk about.”

“While also being something she hates talking about,” the other woman said with a little laugh, “you should know that by now.”

“Yep, anyway,” Clarke continued, “we talked, she told me about the agreement that she made with the Ice Nation, and how the Queen stands to lose more than she does. Then I asked her about blood having blood… reminding her that Costia was innocent…”

Luna closed her eyes and rested her head back against the wall where she was standing opposite Clarke, taking a deep breath she let it out slowly, before looking back at the blonde.

“She blames herself, not the Ice Nation,” Clarke said, “did you know that? She thinks she’s to blame for Costia’s death…”

“I know she feels guilty, it’s part of the reason that we don’t talk about it,” Luna replied, “it never ends well. What happened?”

“She left,” the blonde said with a sigh, “asked me not to follow her…”

“But you’re going to anyway…” the other woman said with a laugh.

“I would, if I had any idea where she was going.” Clarke replied with a little smile, “which is where you come in.”

“She asked you not to follow her Clarke,” Luna said, walking back towards the room, “if I were you I would listen this time.”

“She’s upset, it’s my fault,” Clarke said following her back into the room, “how do you expect me to fix that if I don’t know where she is.”

“There’s nothing to fix,” Luna said as she sat back down, “Lexa’s emotions today are not your fault, for a change, just give her some space.”

“And if I don’t want to?” Clarke asked in an almost challenging way.

“Polis is a big city Clarke,” she replied, downing the drink which was on the table, “you’ll get lost before you find her.”

“Fine,” Clarke said, “if you’re not going to help me, I’ll find her myself, and if I get lost… then you can explain that to Lexa.”

As she turned to leave the room Clarke heard Luna groan as she pushed her chair back. A small smile appeared on Clarke’s face as Luna walked up next to her.

“Did anyone ever tell you that you’re a pain in the backside?” Luna asked.

“Once or twice,” Clarke said looking at her, “which way?”

They exited the compound and walked around to the left, neither girl knowing they weren’t quite as alone as they thought they were. Luna lead Clarke around to the back of the building, somewhere that Clarke had yet to go. She hadn’t had the chance to explore the city yet, Luna had been right, she would’ve got lost well before she found Lexa. After walking for a few moments more Luna stopped.

“You’re on your own from here Sky Girl,” Luna said, “I like all my limbs where they are…”

She motioned ahead of them to a walled in area, there was a gate in the wall which was open, Clarke assumed that’s where she was supposed to be going.

“What’s through there?” Clarke asked.

“You wanted to find her,” Luna replied, “as the gate is open, that’s where she’ll be.”

“How do you know that’s where she’ll be?” the blonde asked in reply.

“Because she’s the only one who has the key for that gate.” Luna said, “now if you’ll excuse me, I’d rather be drunk when she figures out that I’m the one who brought you here.”

With that Luna turned and walked back towards the compound, leaving Clarke alone. The blonde took a deep breath before she walked towards the gate, not exactly sure why Luna was so worried about her leading Clarke there. Sure, Clarke knew all about Lexa’s temper, but she had no idea why Luna would be as worried as she obviously was. She made her way quietly to the gate, beyond the gate she saw a pathway lit by flaming torches. Looking around her she couldn’t quite take it all in, there were wild flowers growing in patches dotted around the grass, a tall tree in the corner of the space and four distinct areas. Clarke could see what looked to be small sculptures lined up. No, not sculptures, she thought as she walked. They were gravestones.

“I asked you not to follow me…” Lexa said, hearing Clarke before she saw her.

Clarke watched as Lexa stood up and wiped her face with the sleeve of her jacket.

“I was… I was worried about you.” Clarke said quietly.

“No need to be,” Lexa replied, “I’m fine.”

“Of course you are.” Clarke replied, a little more coldly than she intended, she noticed Lexa’s shoulders tense at the words.

Clarke couldn’t see the writing on the gravestones, but she saw very distinct markings, as if made by a blade.

“What is this place?” Clarke asked.

“What does it look like?” Lexa asked, still not turning to face the other girl.

“It looks like a graveyard…” Clarke replied.

“This whole planet is a graveyard Clarke.” Lexa said with a sigh.

Clarke noticed that next to the four gravestones was a sword stuck in the ground.

“Why the sword?” she asked.

“Because I had nothing to bury…” Lexa said, “it’s Anya’s sword.”

“I’m sorry Lexa…” Clarke said quietly.

“This isn’t exactly a public place Clarke.” Lexa replied, “I would have…”

“About Anya, I’m sorry…” Clarke said interrupting her.

“Why are you sorry?” Lexa asked, finally turning to face her, “did you kill her?”

“No…” Clarke said, shaking her head, “though she nearly killed me a couple of times…”

Clarke couldn’t be sure but she thought she saw the corners of Lexa’s lips curl up in a small smile.

“When she wasn’t throwing mud at my face and telling me how useless I was.” The blonde said with a shrug.

“I am yet to hear why you’re sorry.” Lexa said, her eyes still on Clarke, thankful that the darkness would hopefully hide the fact that she had been crying.

“I told you that she died trying to get a message back to you…” Clarke said, looking over at the sword, “what I didn’t tell you was how…”

Lexa didn’t say anything, the look on her face was enough to tell Clarke she could continue.

“We escaped the mountain together,” the blonde said, walking slowly over to the sword, knowing that Lexa was following her, “jumped off the damn, which was a bad idea by the way, born in the sky, couldn’t swim…”

Clarke was sure she heard a small laugh escape Lexa.

“We made our way to Camp Jaha,” Clarke continued, remembering the time she had spent with Anya, “we had more than a few disagreements along the way, a couple turned physical… When we weren’t fighting we talked, mostly about how we were going to get our people out of the mountain. We reached the fences of the camp, she told me that you had been her second and she could get an audience… As she turned to leave she was shot… My people killed Anya, Lexa… Shot me too actually, but I was running towards her at the time and they couldn’t get a clear shot… They had no idea it was us, they just saw two people beyond the fence and thought the worst…”

“And her body?” Lexa asked, Clarke didn’t need to look to know that Lexa’s jaw was clenched and she was angry.

“She’s buried at the camp,” Clarke replied, “you’ll have to ask my mother exactly where, I was unconscious at the time…”

“Thank you for telling me Clarke.” Lexa said, causing Clarke to look at her.

“I asked her why she saved me if she thought I was so useless…” Clarke said with a little laugh.

“And she told you she saved you because she needed you.” Lexa said with a small nod, “I myself had heard those words before you said them. Anya and I didn’t always get along. She spent a lot of time telling me that I was also useless… it was just her way Clarke. The fact that you are still standing here now means that she did care.”

“She was actually going to kill me…” Clarke said, “Before the mountain… before 300 of your warriors died at the dropship… She agreed to meet me, to talk about peace between our people. We didn’t trust her any more than she trusted us… she had people in the trees with bows and arrows…”

“And you had your guns.” Lexa said.

“And a bomb…” Clarke replied, “Jasper fired first… I don’t remember much of what happened after that, but the bridge was blown up.”

“Raven?” Lexa asked.

“How’d you guess…” Clarke said with a nod, “Anya’s second was injured… Tris… I couldn’t save her, I tried, I did everything that I could but…”

“You can’t save everybody Clarke,” Lexa said as she walked over to her, “no matter how much you try…”

“When am I going to learn that?” Clarke asked with a little laugh as the tears started to fall from her eyes.

“Hopefully never…” Lexa said, cupping her checks softly as she wiped away the tears that were falling, “its part of what makes you, you. I have killed so many people, some in war, some because our traditions called for it…”

Lexa glanced over at the grave which was next to where Anya’s sword was.

“I’ve lost count of the amount of people who have died at my sword,” Lexa continued as she looked back at Clarke, “I cannot even begin to count the number of people who have died because I commanded it. That is where we differ, Clarke of the Sky People. My soul has long since darkened because of the lives I’ve taken. Yours hasn’t. Never stop trying to save everyone Clarke…”

As Clarke’s walls completely broke down and the tears she had held onto for so long started to fall, Lexa wrapped her arms around her and held her close.

“It’s okay…” Lexa whispered quietly.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

From her positon in the tree next to the enclosed area, Neva watched as the scene unfolded. Her Queen had told her that the Commander was responsible for the deaths of her parents, it was Lexa’s fault that she was alone in the world. She was finding it hard to understand why, someone who she had been taught killed so willingly, would be so sentimental to have a private area containing graves. She had been told that Lexa did not care for anyone, all she cared about was the power she could wield. Lexa was the enemy, that is what she had been taught from a very young age. But the scene in front of her told her otherwise. Clarke had gone after Lexa, though Lexa had told her not to. She had disobeyed an order. Yet here Lexa was giving her comfort. Neva could not get the vision in front of her to mirror with the words that she had been told. She continued to watch.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

“So, you told me the sword is for Anya,” Clarke said once the tears had finally stopped, “can you tell me about the people buried here…?”

Lexa still had one arm around Clarke, not wanting to let go completely, and she nodded a little.

“Gustus…” Lexa said as she walked toward the grave next to where the sword was, “I had his body sent back here from Tondc. Polis was his home. He was the one person that I thought I could trust with my life, well, other than Indra… That morning when we were riding to Tondc from your camp, he told me that an alliance with the Sky People would be the end of the coalition… I asked him if he was talking about the coalition or me. Gustus believed they were the same thing and I told him to do his job then… He did, and I had to kill him for it…”

“Why did he believe that an alliance with us was a risk to you?” Clarke asked quietly as she stood with Lexa.

“Gustus believed that our people were too different,” Lexa said, glancing at Clarke before looking back at the grave in front of them, “he believed that you were more like the Mountain Men. In a way he was right, you had more in common with them than you did with us. Though the one thing that connected our people together was the mountain. I was terrified of Gustus when I first met him…”

“So was I,” Clarke said with a little laugh, “his exact words were ‘if you even so much as look at her the wrong way, I will slit your throat’. I spent most of that first meeting with you wondering what the wrong way to look at you was in the hope that I didn’t do it.”

“He’s the one who took me from Tondc and brought me here,” Lexa said with a small smile, “I was only a child, I was leaving behind everything that I had ever known. Luna, Lincoln, my parents… Costia… I didn’t want to leave. Gustus had to literally carry me to the horse. I actually broke his nose that day…”

Clarke laughed a little as she thought about Lexa fighting with Gustus.

“These next two…” Lexa said as she moved them across a little, “are my parents… Indra and Anya both thought I was being emotional when I had them brought here, but… maybe I was. I hadn’t seen them for a year, that was along time for me. They were my parents, they were my home. My mother was the one who would sing me to sleep at night when I couldn’t sleep. My father was the one who would tell me stories about everything that the world had to offer. He made it sound magical… They were killed because of me. If I could not be there to protect them while they were alive, then I would make sure they were protected in death…”

Clarke didn’t say anything as Lexa silently moved them over again.

“Costia…?” Clarke asked, to which Lexa nodded in reply.

“For the first year, I would come here every day when I was in the city,” Lexa said, “I would talk to her. Tell her what was going on, how the coalition was working out. She and I used to talk about it a lot. I had all these ideas about how I was going to make life better for my people, how I was going to be a Heda that the people could be proud of… I mentioned to you that night how you could be a leader who her people could pour their hopes and dreams into…”

“I remember…” Clarke replied quietly.

“That’s what Costia had said to me as I was leaving Tondc…” Lexa said, taking a deep breath, before continuing, “every dream that I had for my people, I believed was possible because of her…She… She made me believe that anything was possible. When the coalition was in its very early days, when it was us, the Boat People and The Desert clan, I started to think I couldn’t do it…I couldn’t even get people to talk to each other, let alone consider the benefits of an agreement between us all… But she wouldn’t let me stop ‘If anyone can do it, you can, you’re the most stubborn person I’ve ever met’ is what she said…”

Clarke laughed.

“She would have changed her mind if she had met you.” Lexa said, laughing a little.

“I’m not that bad…” Clarke said, shaking her head as Lexa looked at her, “yeah, okay, maybe I am.”

“It’s good thing…” Lexa said.

“If you say so…” Clarke replied with a small laugh, “What about this…?”

She motioned to a small stone bear which was sitting near Costia’s headstone.

“You’ve read the records from Tondc,” Lexa said, “I may never have got to see that baby, but she was part of my blood. Part of my family. Whatever happened to her, I…”

“I get it…” Clarke said with a soft smile.

“How did you find me?” Lexa asked, arching her eyebrow a little as she looked at Clarke.

“Er… well…” Clarke started to say, “good instincts?”

“Luna.” Lexa said shaking her head a little.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke hung back a little as Lexa walked into the room where Indra, Kassius and Luna were still sitting. As Lexa entered the room each of them stood up, Luna looked over at Clarke before looking back at Lexa.

“Heda…” Luna started to say, she had obviously been drinking the entire time that Clarke had been with Lexa.

“Don’t give me that Heda crap.” Lexa said, causing both Indra and Kassius to back away from the table, Clarke however had a hard time fighting to contain the laugh that was building.

“Okay, Lexa,” Luna said, “she was worried… she…”

“You know that place is somewhere I will not let anyone else go…” Lexa said, causing Luna to nod a little, Lexa raised her hand to stop her talking, “thank you.”

Clarke smiled a little, before hearing footsteps running up the stairs. She walked from the room and could see Neva going upstairs.

“Where have you just come back from goufa?” Clarke asked, causing the girl to stop in her tracks.

“I don’t need to tell you anything.” Neva replied, a defiant look in her eyes.

Clarke heard Lexa and Luna walk up next to her.

“No, but you do need to explain to me.” Lexa said, her face void of all emotion.

“You’re not my Kwin.” Neva said to Lexa.

Clarke looked at Luna and saw how she flinched.

“No,” Lexa said shaking her head a little, “I’m not your Kwin, I’m your Heda. Your Kwin answers to me, as will you.”

“Lexa, she’s just a kid…” Clarke said quietly, backing off a little when Lexa looked at her.

“Does Echo know where you’ve been?” Lexa asked.

Clarke glanced up the stairs and saw Raven, Octavia, Lincoln and Echo all standing there, they had obviously heard the raised voices.

“No.” Neva said.

“No, what?” Lexa asked.

“No she doesn’t.” Neva replied.

Clarke knew that wasn’t exactly the answer that Lexa had been looking for, and at any other moment she would have laughed, but she knew that now was not the time.

“Neva,” Echo said walking down the stairs to where the girl was standing, “Heda asked you a question, you will answer it.”

“I… went for a walk.” Neva replied, before she looked at Lexa, “Heda.”

“What the fuck were you doing going out for a walk on your own?” Raven asked, “you’re 8.”

Lexa shot Raven a look, Raven simply mouthed ‘sorry’.

“Lincoln,” Lexa said looking up the stairs, “you and Luna get Indra and Kassius and come to the council room.”

Lincoln nodded a little as Lexa looked at Echo.

“It is time for your goufa to learn a little respect,” Lexa said, “bring her to the council room.”

“Yes Heda.” Echo said with a nod.

“The rest of you back to whatever it is you were doing.” Lexa said, turning and walking towards the council meeting room.

“Lexa…” Clarke said following her, “Lexa will you stop.”

Lexa stopped walking and turned back to look at Clarke.

“She’s just a kid.” Clarke said, realising that she hadn’t expected to have to talk to Lexa, because she hadn’t expected her to stop.

“You mentioned that already Clarke.” Lexa said, her face still void of all emotion.

“I know how your people teach respect, Lexa.” Clarke replied, “and whether she has shown you disrespect or not, she is just a child.”

“I’m not going to harm her Clarke,” Lexa said, “I just expect an answer to a question when asked.”

“I get that,” Clarke said, “I do, but…”

“Yes, she’s just a child.” Lexa said with a frustrated sigh, “a child that may have just followed you to where I was. Do you really think I want the Queen of the Ice Nation to know about that place?”

“What has that got to do with anything?” Clarke asked.

“The dead are gone, Clarke…” Lexa replied, “the dead are gone. My people do not have grave sights to visit because that is not the way it’s supposed to be. You say your goodbyes, and you let go. Only I can’t let go…”

“Weakness…” Clarke said quietly.

“I am not letting her use that against me,” Lexa continued, “I cannot allow her the sense of victory she would take from that.”

“So what are you going to do if she did follow us there?” Clarke asked, “you can’t lock her up for the rest of her life, you can’t kill her…”

“I plan to do neither,” Lexa replied, “allow me to do this. Please trust me.”

Clarke nodded a little.

“You may attend if you choose to.” Lexa said and turned around and continued the short walk to the council room.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke stood at the side of the room, leaning against the wall as Echo walked into the room with Neva. Luna and Lincoln were standing just in front of where Lexa was sitting, to her right hand side, with Kassius and Indra on the left.

“I will ask again,” Lexa said, trying to keep her voice as calm and even as possible, “where were you coming back from? As Raven of the Sky People said, you are 8 years old, children do not go out for a walk alone after dark.”

Neva didn’t answer her, she just stood there looking at her. Clarke noticed Lexa take a deep breath and let it out slowly.

“Did you follow Clarke?” Lexa asked.

Again there was no answer.

“It is a simple question,” Lexa said, sitting forward a little, “one which I expect an answer to.”

Clarke noticed as Neva’s eyes widened a little, she’d been on the receiving end of Lexa’s ‘Commander glare’ as Octavia liked to call it, she totally understood what the kid was feeling at that moment.

“Yes…” Neva replied.

“Yes, what?” Lexa asked.

“Heda…” Neva said.

“And what did you see when you followed her?” Lexa asked.

“Nothing Heda,” Neva said with a small smirk, “I am not tall enough to see over a wall that high.”

Clarke bit down on the inside of her cheek to keep herself from laughing, Neva really wasn’t making this easy for Lexa.

“I am guessing you found the tree simple to climb.” Lexa replied, glancing down at the marks on Neva’s clothes which had obviously come from climbing a tree.

The Commander herself smiled a little as the young girl quickly brushed her hands over her knees.

“I will ask again…” Lexa started to say.

“Everything,” Neva said interrupting her, “I saw everything… Heda. I saw Wanhe… Clarke talking to you about Anya, I saw her crying…”

Neva looked over at Clarke before she looked back to Lexa.

“I saw you explain to her who each of the other graves were for…” she continued, “I saw everything.”

“What Clan were you originally born into?” Luna asked as Lexa had apparently lost the ability to speak.

“I am Azgeda.” Neva said.

“I asked what Clan you were born into, not what Clan you are now,” Luna said, “I myself was born into the Trikru, yet am now leader of the Boat people. What Clan were you born into?”

“I…” Neva started to say.

“It is not known,” Echo said, “or if it is that information has been kept quiet. She was raised Azgeda.”

“Yet she was born elsewhere…” Lexa said sitting back a little, “why are you here?”

“My Kwin told me I was to accompany Echo here,” Neva replied, “as I have never been to Polis.”

“The majority of your people have never been to Polis,” Lexa said, “why did she send you?”

“To see Polis…” Neva said, “My Kwin said…”

“Why?” Lexa asked, standing up.

“I…” Neva said, stopping herself.

A small smirk found itself to Lexa’s lips. Clarke was looking between the two of them, Lexa was being hard on Neva, but the young girl wasn’t exactly making it easy. From where she was standing she could see the look in both of their eyes, an idea started to form in her head. She looked towards Kassius who was obviously having the same thought that she was.

“I…” Neva started again.

“You…” Lexa said knowing exactly why Neva was there, “were… sent…”

“To kill you Heda.” Neva said, looking down at the floor.

“What?” Echo asked, “I swear to you Heda…”

“I know,” Lexa said as she looked at the other girl “I know…”

Everyone stood in a stunned silence as Lexa started to laugh, before she sat down.

“She sent a child to kill me.” She said, “that is… wonderful.”

“Not just any child…” Clarke said, pushing herself away from the wall before she made her way over to Neva, crouching down in front of her, lifting the small girl’s chin so she could look in her eyes, “What did your Kwin tell you about Lexa?”

“Nothing…” Neva said shaking her head a little.

“Don’t lie to me,” Clarke said with a little smile, “what did she tell you? Why were you sent her to kill her, why you?”

“She told me that it is Heda’s fault that I am alone…” Neva said quietly to Clarke, “that she is to blame for my parents death…”

“You were born Trikru…” Clarke said, “weren’t you…”

“Clarke…” Lexa said, “what are you talking about?”

“I can read her the same way I can read you,” Clarke said, standing up and looking between Lexa and Neva, “it’s all the eyes, Commander.”

Nobody said anything, they all just looked at Clarke.

“Neva, why didn’t you try to kill Lexa?” Clarke said, looking at Lexa when she asked the question, “you had the chance, more than once, yet you didn’t, why not?”

“When she was talking with you…” Neva said, looking down at her hands while she talked, “when you were crying… it made no sense to me. My Kwin told me that Heda has no heart, she kills without caring who, or why. She killed my parents and left me alone to die. It made no sense that she would comfort you when you cried.”

“You had chances before that.” Clarke said, looking down at the girl.

“Someone with no heart does not laugh…” Neva replied quietly.

“Kassius,” Clarke said, “you’ve known Lexa longer than anyone else, look into Neva’s eyes and tell me that I’m wrong.”

“I do not need to…” Kassius replied, “it passed through my mind this morning when she would not talk to you.”

“Why?” Clarke asked.

“Because I had seen that look before…” he said looking from Clarke to Lexa.

The Commander was shaking her head.

“No…” Lexa said, “you’re wrong…”

“Neva,” Clarke said smiling softly as she looked down at the girl, “where were your parents born?”

“Tondc…” she said quietly.

“No…” Lexa said shaking her head again.

“I’m lost…” Echo said, looking at everyone else who so obviously wasn’t lost.

“8 years ago there was an attack on Tondc,” Clarke said, her eyes fixed on Lexa, who looked like she wanted to either throw up or kill someone, “Lexa hadn’t been Heda for very long, she was due to be at the village to see her parents, who she hadn’t seen in a year. But she was forced to remain here. The adults in the village were all rounded up, and everyone related to Lexa was killed, including her parents. But they took a baby from her mother…”

Clarke looked at Neva, then back to Lexa again. The young girl had her eyes locked on Lexa, and Lexa was looking at her. The Commander’s jaw was clenched hard enough for Clarke to see the muscles tensing.

Lexa stood up and looked at Indra.

“I want a rider sent to the Ice Nation camp immediately,” she said, “she has two days to get here or I will go there, and I will remove her head.”


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoy this chapter, it was fun to write. There is going to be a rating change with the next part, parts of this chapter hint at that. Clarke and Lexa also talk about what's going to happen with Neva. Thank you all for the comments on the last part, I'm really glad you enjoyed it (remember the notes at the end, yeah, still won't go away)

 

 

 

Clarke laid on Lexa’s bed, watching as the Commander paced back and forth.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Clarke asked, knowing full well that Lexa was running over and over in her head what had happened with Neva.

“No.” Lexa replied glancing over at Clarke as she continued to pace.

“Okay.” Clarke said, shaking her head a little as she lay back and looked at the ceiling.

“I just don’t understand,” Lexa said suddenly, deciding that she obviously did want to talk about it, “what could she hope to gain?”

“By which part?” Clarke asked, turning back onto her side so she was facing Lexa, propping herself up on her elbow, “taking Neva in the first place, or sending her here to kill you?”

“Both…” Lexa said with a sigh as she stopped pacing for a moment, pinching the bridge of her nose before she continued back and forth across the room.

“Taking her in the first place left you with that extra sense of guilt,” Clarke replied, her eyes following Lexa as she walked, “that feeling that you failed your little sister before you had even met her. Sending her here to kill you… I don’t know. I mean if I were going to send someone to kill someone, I wouldn’t send a child. I suspect that Neva was trained from the moment she could hold a blade, with the sole intention of killing you. The Ice Nation Queen obviously intended for her to grow up hating you, telling her that it was your fault she was alone…”

“Technically she was right…” Lexa said, “it is my fault she was alone…”

“You didn’t kill your parents Lexa,” Clarke said as she dropped back onto her back on the bed “one thing I think the Queen didn’t count on was Neva not being able to do it. She took this child at a very young age, telling her day in day out that you were the enemy. Then she gets here, she meets you, and she probably thinks that the Queen was right. You’re not the most pleasant person when you’re in Commander mode…”

Lexa laughed a little, shaking her head, still walking up and down.

“Then she does what you would’ve done at her age,” Clarke said with a small smile, “she follows me. She sees something that she didn’t expect to see. I think this afternoon at the training ground things started to change for her. She sees you laughing and messing around with the rest of us. That side of you that you try and keep hidden. That confuses the fuck out of her, this big bad Commander, having fun. She saw that thing that you believe to be a weakness, your heart… That’s what stopped her. The Queen wouldn’t have expected that because she believes that part of you doesn’t exist. She was counting on it I think…”

“What drives a person to hate another person so much that they destroy everything that they have…” Lexa said quietly, as she finally stopped pacing and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to Clarke.

“Fear…” Clarke said simply, “she fears you. Instead of dealing with it head on, facing you on the battlefield, she tries to destroy you by breaking you down. Your parents, Neva, Costia… She has tried taking away everything that you love, hoping that it would break you, but it didn’t.”

“But it did,” Lexa replied, “Everything that she took from me was a little bit more chipped away from my life. Because of her actions I was left alone. Only then did I realise that it was probably safer that way, for everyone else. If you don’t care about anyone, then nobody will hurt them to hurt you.”

“If you don’t stop caring you’re putting the people you care about in danger, and the pain never goes away…” Clarke said quietly, pretty much quoting what Lexa had said to her in Tondc while they stood watching what was left of the fire burn into nothing, “didn’t really work out for you that, did it…”

“I don’t know,” Lexa said with a shrug and a smile as she looked back at Clarke “until a certain person fell from the sky, I was getting on quite well with the not caring.”

“Oh you still cared,” Clarke said with a laugh, “you just got better at hiding it. I mean, there was Anya and Gustus, you cared about both of them… probably not a very good example considering what happened… Indra, you care about Indra. You care about Luna…”

“Both people that I try to keep at arm’s length.” Lexa replied.

“There’s always Kassius…” Clarke said, “I know you care about him, and he cares about you.”

“He’s the only family I have left.” The Commander said quietly.

“Was the only family you had left,” Clarke said, her fingers trailing softly down Lexa’s back, “now there’s someone else. A tightly wound little ball of attitude…”

“I have no idea what I’m going to do…” Lexa said, laying back, her head resting on Clarke’s stomach, her legs still over the side of the bed, “Anya would know what to do…”

“Anya would give her a sword and tell her to get to work.” Clarke replied causing Lexa to laugh.

“It might be a better idea to leave Neva unarmed for a while…” Lexa said, “just until the Ice Nation Queen has been here and…”

“Do you really think she’ll come here?” Clarke asked, looking down at Lexa, as the other girl looked at her.

“I hope so,” Lexa replied, arching her eyebrow a little, “it gets very cold up North this time of year.”

“What are you going to do if she does come here?” Clarke said, “it’s not like you can kill her…”

“I want answers…” Lexa said with a nod, sitting up again, “if those answers come at the end of my sword then so be it.”

“The coalition…” Clarke started to say.

“I know…” Lexa said, interrupting her, “it comes at the worst time, I cannot fight a war on two fronts.”

“You don’t have to,” Clarke replied, as Lexa turned to look at her, “you’re not alone in this Lexa. My people will keep working on Jaha, get as much information as we can out of him about the bomb and the A.I. You concentrate on the Ice Nation and Neva. Worst comes to worst, someone else could always kill her…”

“Clarke…” Lexa said.

“We’re not part of the coalition…” Clarke said, “I could kill her…”

“Then I would be forced to kill you.” Lexa said with a soft smile, “her death is not worth the price that I would have to pay, no matter what she has done to me in the past, that cost is not worth it.”

“What if she just happened to die on the way here…” Clarke said, “a random attack in the forest, with no witnesses…”

“Clarke…” Lexa replied, laughing a little.

“But then you wouldn’t get the answers you need,” Clarke said, a smirk on her lips, “maybe she could die here, in Polis, I’m sure my mother could kill her in a way that nobody would ever figure out.”

“Enough…” Lexa said, placing a finger softly on Clarke’s lips, “I already have a plan in mind…”

“Oh do tell.” Clarke said.

“If I can provoke her enough during the meeting to get her to lash out at me,” Lexa said, “then I am within my rights as Heda to punish her for that. If I can get her to admit that she sent Neva here to kill me…”

“Trying to assassinate you is punishable by death.” Clarke said, to which Lexa nodded in reply, “but what will happen to Neva, she’s the one who was here to kill you.”

“I have two days to find a legal way around that…” Lexa said quietly, “I only hope it’s enough time.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was unable to sleep so once she was sure Lexa was asleep she slowly got out of bed, Lexa was a very light sleeper so the blonde sat still as Lexa stirred next to her, before climbing from the bed and making her way from the room. The compound was quiet as she walked downstairs to the records room. She had no idea what she was looking for, but she knew it would be in there somewhere. As she walked into the room she saw Luna and Lincoln both with their heads in books.

“What are you two doing in here?” Clarke asked as she closed the door behind her.

“Could ask you the same thing.” Luna replied, looking at Clarke, “shouldn’t you be fast asleep with Lexa by now.”

“I need to find something to help her…” Clarke said, wondering how she was going to explain things to them.

“If we can find some way for Lexa to grant Neva a pardon, but still find the Ice bitch guilty of the assassination plot…” Lincoln said, “then everybody wins.”

“I offered to kill her…” Clarke said as she sat down next to Luna, “my people aren’t part of the coalition…”

“Then she would have to kill you, Lexa would never agree to that.” Luna said, “brave of you to offer though…”

“Brave or stupid…” Lincoln said.

“There’s a fine line between the two,” Clarke said with a laugh, “you know that.”

“Well if there is a way to get around this,” Luna said looking between Lincoln and Clarke, “it’ll be in these books somewhere. I was tempted to go and see one of the Elders, but they’ll all be asleep, so that is a plan for the morning.”

“How long do we have?” Lincoln asked.

“Two days…” Clarke replied.

“No problem,” Luna said with a nod, “we’ll figure something out. Worst comes to worst I can have one of my people take Neva back to my camp before the Ice Nation Queen gets here…”

“Could that work?” Clarke asked.

“It’s a last resort,” Luna replied, “if anyone found out then my people would end up at war with the other 11 clans, and we wouldn’t survive that.”

“What if…” Clarke said looking at Lincoln as an idea popped into her head, “what if you and O take Neva to Camp Jaha… at least until this all blows over.”

“That puts you and your people in danger,” Luna said shaking her head, “Lexa will never agree to that.”

“Maybe she doesn’t have a choice…” Clarke replied.

“Clarke…” Luna said.

“Weren’t you the one who told me I couldn’t have an ‘us or them’ attitude?” Clarke asked, looking at her, “You’ve all been telling me to trust Lexa, to let her back in… she couldn’t survive this, and you both know it.”

Luna and Lincoln shared a small smile as Clarke pulled one of the big old books over to her and started reading.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Lexa awoke that morning to an unusual feeling of cold next to her. Snapping her eyes open she saw that Clarke wasn’t there, a feeling of dread started to filter through her, Clarke was never awake before she was. Getting out of bed she quickly got dressed, opening the door she found Kassius about to knock.

“Where’s Clarke?” Lexa asked, trying to keep the small sense of panic she was currently feeling from her voice.

“I thought she was with you.” Kassius replied as Lexa walked past him and down the hallway.

“If she was with me I wouldn’t have to ask where she was.” Lexa snapped.

Kassius followed Lexa downstairs, knowing that talking to her probably wasn’t a good idea at that moment. The Commander went to Clarke’s room, the door was open and the room was empty, the blonde wasn’t there, and Lexa could tell by looking at the bed that it hadn’t been slept in.

“Heda…” Kassius said, “I am sure there is a very simple explanation…”

“There needs to be,” Lexa said, a little louder than she intended, “she fell asleep with me last night, she was not there this morning, nor is she in her room…”

Octavia opened her bedroom door and yawned as she looked out into the hallway.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Clarke isn’t in her room…” Lexa replied.

“Clarke hasn’t been in her room for the last week,” Octavia mumbled, “but then you know that, because she’s been with you.”

“This morning she wasn’t.” Lexa said and she could pinpoint the exact moment when Octavia realised what she was saying.

“So where is she?” Octavia asked, suddenly very awake.

“Records library…” Lincoln said, walking up behind Octavia and looking at Lexa, “we were there last night, I crashed first, leaving her there with Luna.”

Lexa stormed past them both and downstairs to the records library. Opening the door she found Clarke asleep with her head on her arms on the table. A small smile found its way to Lexa’s lips as she quietly walked over to the blonde.

“Clarke…” she said, putting her hand on the blonde’s back softly.

“Mmm 5 more minutes.” Clarke mumbled.

“You’re going to miss breakfast.” Lexa said with a little laugh.

“I’m up, I’m up.” Clarke said, sitting up in the chair, “though where am I…”

She looked around, realising she was in the records room, before her eyes settled on Lexa.

“Hi…” she said with a little smile.

“Hi.” Lexa replied.

“I’m not going to miss breakfast am I?” Clarke asked.

“No,” Lexa said shaking her head a little, “but at least now I know that’s a way to get you to wake up. What were you doing down here?”

“Trying to help.” Clarke said simply, as if that was all the explanation that was needed.

“And that couldn’t wait until morning?” Lexa asked.

“Apparently not.” The blonde said with a laugh, jumping a little as the door flung open.

“Next time you decide not to stay in bed with your girlfriend, can you leave her a note?” Octavia asked, “then she isn’t going to stomp around the building like a bear with a sore head waking everyone up because she can’t find you.”

“Bear with a sore head?” Lexa asked innocently.

“Girlfriend?” Clarke asked, causing Octavia to roll her eyes and leave the room.

“What is a bear with a sore head?” Lexa asked again, looking at Clarke.

“Basically means you’re in a bad mood, more so than usual…” Clarke explained her mind still stuck on the girlfriend part of what Octavia had said.

“I’m not in a bad mood,” Lexa said, “I was just worried… I thought that maybe something may have happened to you.”

“I had to sit still for a few minutes when I was getting out of bed, just so I didn’t wake you,” Clarke said with a laugh, “I’m pretty sure you would know if something had happened to me.”

“Now you can explain why the term girlfriend bothered you so much.” Lexa said.

“I don’t know what the word is in Trigedasleng…” Clarke replied, “it’s just a label that I hadn’t really thought about, I mean I know that there’s obviously something there, but I’m not sure what to call it, and…”

“And breathe Clarke.” Lexa said with a little smile, “we’re us, there is no need to label what this may or may not be, especially not for the benefit of someone else.”

“Actually Heda…” Kassius said from where he was standing next to the door, Clarke hadn’t even seen him there.

“When did you get here?” Clarke asked him.

“The same time Heda did,” he replied with a small laugh, “though obviously I am not the one who would hold your attention. Heda, it may actually be beneficial…”

“Not now Kassius.” Lexa said, turning to look at him.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked as she stood up, looking between them both.

“Nothing that you need to worry yourself with.” Lexa replied.

“Which is exactly what you said about me not knowing that the Ice Nation Queen knows who I am…” Clarke said.

“I think my words were actually more along the lines of, I was going to tell you when it was necessary…” Lexa replied.

“Stop being pedantic.” Clarke said rolling her eyes a little, “just tell me what’s going on.”

“In the council meeting yesterday, it was brought to my attention that the arrangements between us have become a topic of conversation,” Lexa said with a sigh, “people are starting to question it. Which I expected would happen, I just assumed I would have a little more time before it did.”

“The arrangements?” Clarke asked, “is there anything that you can’t make into some formal thing? You mean the fact that I’m sleeping in your bed.”

“Yes…” Lexa replied with a nod, a slight blush covering her cheeks.

“Are you blushing?” Clarke asked with a small laugh.

“I don’t blush…” Lexa replied.

“You are, you are actually blushing.” Clarke said, still laughing.

“Clarke…” Lexa said, a slight threatening tone now in her voice.

“Okay, okay,” Clarke said, “I’m sorry. You want to tell me why people have been talking?”

“It is not uncommon for someone in my position to take someone to their bed,” Lexa said, looking down at her hands, as Clarke tried not to smile at the innocence of it all, “yet it is uncommon for that same person to spend consecutive nights there…”

“So basically people are wondering why I’ve been sleeping in your bed and not my own,” Clarke replied, “they want to know what’s going on between us.”

“In not so formal terms, yes.” Lexa replied.

“And what did you tell them?” the blonde asked.

“That your sleeping arrangements were none of their concern,” Lexa said with a sigh, “which is enough for now, but…”

“So I can’t sleep with the Heda without some kind of announcement…” Clarke replied.

“That is usually the way, yes…” the Commander said, “though I have not had to consider anything like this since…”

“Costia…” Clarke said with a nod.

“I know that we haven’t moved past…” Lexa started to say before turning and looking at Kassius.

“I will go and see if breakfast is ready.” He said with a nod, not wanting to hear the finer points of his Heda’s relationship.

“I’m not trying to force the issue,” Lexa said, “wait, issue is the wrong word because it’s not an issue… I don’t want to rush you into anything, and the physical side of a relationship is not that important, well it is important but…”

“Have all your diplomatic skills eluded you Commander?” Clarke asked with a smirk.

“I… believe they have.” Lexa said with a small laugh, “what I’m trying to say is, the pace of this is not something that I’m concerned with, and I do not believe that any of my people would believe that we have yet to…”

“Octavia didn’t believe it either.” Clarke said with a laugh of her own.

“Do you and Octavia talk about everything?” Lexa asked.

“Pretty much,” Clarke said with a nod, “and Raven. Though with Octavia I usually just phase most of what she’s saying out when she gets around to talking about Lincoln, because I do not want to know about his…”

“Neither do I.” Lexa said, interrupting Clarke before she finished what she was going to say, “Your people do like to talk about things don’t they.”

“Well when you’re friends with people you talk,” Clarke said, “if you’re really good friends you talk about things that are important to you, so yeah, I talk to Octavia about you… about us… not as much as she would like though, she’d love a few more details I think… what?”

Clarke had to stop when she saw a look in Lexa’s eyes which she couldn’t read.

“You just said I’m important to you…” Lexa said.

“Because you are, and if you believe you’re not then I’m obviously not doing this right…” Clarke said with a sigh.

“I just don’t think I ever expected to hear you say it,” the other girl replied, “especially not after…”

“Back to that again,” Clarke said with a laugh, “it happened. It’s finished. Move on. Lexa I wouldn’t be here if you weren’t important to me… well actually I probably would be here, in Polis, because of the whole nuke thing. But I wouldn’t be with you…”

“Now whose diplomatic skills have eluded them?” Lexa asked with a small smile.

“We both know being diplomatic isn’t my strong point.” Clarke replied.

“You need to have more faith in yourself Clarke,” Lexa said, taking the few short steps over to where Clarke was standing, “you can be very diplomatic, and extremely convincing…”

“Is that a fact?” Clarke asked quietly as she felt Lexa’s hands on her hips.

“Are you questioning me?” Lexa asked.

“I’m allowed, we’re not in public.” Clarke replied, causing Lexa to laugh.

Clarke swallowed hard as she closed the short distance between their lips, her hands cupping Lexa’s face as the other girl pulled her closer. As the kiss deepened Clarke felt herself being moved backwards, she didn’t resist, she couldn’t resist. She couldn’t think, the only thoughts which readily formed in her head were those of the girl in front of her. Clarke backed out of the kiss a little when the back of her legs hit the table.

“Up…” Lexa said.

Clarke didn’t argue, she sat on the table and pulled Lexa between her legs. The kiss quickly took on a life of its own as both girls seemingly forgot where they were until they heard the door to the library open.

“Must learn to knock…” Octavia said, “breakfast is ready, but I’ll just go tell everyone that the Commander has found something else to eat for breakfast.”

As the door closed again, Lexa broke the kiss, resting her forehead against Clarkes she smiled a little.

“Excuse me a moment…” she said, walking away from Clarke towards the door, she pulled the door open and walked out, “Octavia!”

Clarke laughed as she climbed down from the table because she knew that Octavia would’ve run as fast as she could back to the breakfast room. When Clarke made it to the breakfast room she noticed the hush that had fallen over the room, she knew that Octavia wouldn’t have announced everything to the whole room, that wasn’t her style, especially as she knew what would happen if she did. But Clarke noticed the smirk on Raven’s face as she sat down, Octavia had told her.

“Good morning Princess.” Raven said.

“Behave.” Clarke said, looking across the table at her.

“Me?” Raven asked, “I always behave, though I think I need to rethink what libraries are used for.”

“I am surprised the word behave is in your vocabulary.” Lexa said to Raven as she looked up from her food.

“I think I read it somewhere once.” Raven said with a nod.

“There’s a library here?” Neva asked from where she was sitting between Echo and Bellamy.

“Yes,” Lexa replied, “it was started by the Heda before me, I have simply added to it. Can you read?”

“No Heda.” Neva said lowering her head a little.

“Then you will learn.” Lexa said, noticing the small smile that was growing on the younger girl’s lips.

“Will you teach me?” Neva asked as she looked at Lexa.

“Neva, I think Heda would be too…” Echo started to say to the girl.

“Yes.” Lexa replied simply before she continued to eat her food.

“We’re missing something,” Raven said, looking around the table, “what are we missing?”

“I’ll fill you in later.” Clarke said with a smile.

“Are all Sky People as curious as you?” Neva asked as she looked at Raven.

Lexa fought to stop the laugh escaping her, but failed.

“No,” Raven said to Neva, “but they’re not all as smart as I am either.”

Neva simply looked, completely blank faced, at Raven.

“Dude, she just Commandered me.” Raven said to Clarke while pointing at Neva, “did you see that look?”

“Eat your food before it goes cold Raven.” Clarke said with a little laugh.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you all,” Raven said, while she started eating her food, “I managed to get into that drone, I don’t have an exact location where it came from, but I have a general area.”

“And…?” Lexa asked.

“I can point it out on a map,” Raven said, “but I’m guessing it is from where we thought it was.”

“That makes sense,” Clarke replied, “I think Jaha was supposed to contact her, it, and obviously as he’s here, he couldn’t.”

“Maybe we should let him.” Lexa said looking at Clarke.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Clarke said, “then she will know that he’s here. If she can send drones here what else can she send here…”

“An armed drone…” Raven said, causing everyone to look at her.

“A drone with arms?” Lexa asked.

“No,” The other girl replied with a laugh, “though that would be funny. I mean a drone with weapons. That’s something else I found out when I took the one we have apart. It has guns on it, though it wasn’t set to fire on anyone.”

“Raven,” Lexa said a small smile on her lips, “I understood what you meant, I just know how my ignorance amuses you.”

“Commander hot stuff just played you Reyes…” Octavia said while laughing, “no disrespect, Heda…”

Lexa shook her head a little as she turned her attention back to her food.

“Commander hot stuff?” Clarke asked, her voice full of amusement, “I like that one.”

“There is a child present Clarke…” Lexa said, glancing up from her food to the blonde.

“Yes Heda…” Clarke replied with a smile.

“It is not very nice to refer to Bellamy in that way Heda.” Neva said, causing Clarke to choke on the food she was eating.

“I like this kid.” Octavia said looking at Clarke, “can we keep her?”

Indra cleared her throat from the door, causing everyone to drop into an amused silence.

“Yes Indra.” Lexa said.

“Sorry to interrupt Heda,” Indra said walking into the room, “I thought you would like to know that your messenger will arrive at the Ice Nation camp by lunch.”

“How do you know that?” Lexa asked.

“He took a radio with him.” Raven said, answering Lexa’s question, “figured you’d like to know what was said without him having to get all the way back here to tell you.”

Lexa nodded a little to Raven, she didn’t like the idea of her people getting used to using the technology but she could see the benefits of it.

“Thank you Indra.” Lexa said.

“One more thing Heda,” Indra said, her eyes flicking from Neva to Lexa, “will the goufa be attending training?”

“Yes,” Lexa said while looking at Neva, “though I would appreciate it if you could ask Kassius if he would enquire about space at the school.”

“Yes Heda.” Indra said with a nod before leaving the room.

“School?” Neva asked looking at Lexa.

“Being a warrior should be your choice,” Lexa said looking at her, “not something that is forced on you.”

Clarke smiled a little as she watched the interaction between the two, Lexa still obviously not completely comfortable, but she was trying.

“If I want to be a warrior?” Neva asked.

“You are 8 years old.” Lexa replied, “you do not yet know what you want.”

“What did you want to be when you were 8?” Neva asked Lexa.

“I wanted to be a blacksmith,” Lexa replied honestly, “I wanted to create weapons.”

“Why a blacksmith?” Bellamy asked.

“That was my fathers occupation.” Lexa replied, obviously suddenly very uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation.

“I wanted to be a dragon rider.” Octavia suddenly added.

“A dragon rider?” Clarke asked, “Seriously O.”

“Hey, I grew up in the floor, do not judge me.” Octavia replied, throwing a piece of bread across the table and hitting Clarke in the head.

“What did you want to be Wanheda?” Neva asked Clarke.

“Is that name going to stick now?” Clarke asked her, to which Neva nodded, “I suppose it’s a little more imposing than Princess… I wanted to be an artist.”

“I would have thought you’d want to be a doctor, like you’re mom.” Raven said with a shrug, “shows what I know.”

“That’s what my mom wanted,” Clarke said with a laugh, “and if we were still on the Ark and things were different, who knows, maybe I would.”

“An occupation where you get to save people,” Octavia said rolling her eyes, “figures.”

“So Octavia wanted to be a dragon rider, Clarke wanted to be an artist, Heda wanted to be a blacksmith,” Echo said, “what about you Raven, what did you want to be?”

“When I was 8?” Raven asked, “normal…”

“That isn’t an occupation.” Neva said to her.

“Yeah you’re right kid, it isn’t,” Raven said with a sigh, “I wanted to be what I am, a genius. I always loved building things, fixing things. It’s fascinating to take something apart and figure out how it works. Then when you try and put it back together you always end up with bits left over, but it still works.”

“And you’d never be normal Raven” Lexa said with a smile, “you wouldn’t be you if you were.”

“True that.” Raven said with a nod.

“What happened to your leg?” Neva asked, causing everyone to look at each other with an ‘oh crap’ look in their eyes.

“Well kid, one day I was walking through the forest and this huge ass monster came out of nowhere,” Raven said, “and it attacked me. I killed it but it damaged my leg.”

“Really?” Neva asked.

“No, but that would be really cool,” Raven said with a laugh, “I got shot, in the back. The bullet damaged my spine and Abby had to take it out or it would’ve killed me. Downside, I now have a messed up leg.”

“I don’t like guns.” Neva replied honestly.

“Smart kid.” Raven said.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one has taken me a few days, but now we have 10K words, and a rating change. This part, in my opinion, moves all parts of the story along, and it was darn hard to write. I really hope you enjoy reading. Please note the rating change, it is for a reason. Please let me know what you think.

Chapter Fifteen

 

As Kassius escorted Abby down the dark passageways towards Jaha’s cell she couldn’t help but look around her, her mind taking her to places she didn’t really want to go, she couldn’t help but think about what had taken place in the cells. Clarke had told her that Jaha hadn’t been hurt, said that he was being treated well, but part of Abby just didn’t want to believe that. She knew about Grounder justice, she had seen what happened to Raven that day in Tondc.  Kassius motioned to the last cell in the block.

“If you require anything…” he said.

“I think we’ll be fine,” Abby replied, “thank you.”

Kassius nodded again before walking away, Lexa had told him to show Abby to Jaha’s cell after the doctor had asked to talk to him. Out of respect for Clarke, the Commander had agreed to Abby’s request.

“Abby…” Jaha said as Abby walked closer to the cell.

“Thelonious,” Abby replied with a small smile, “how are you? Are you being treated well?”

“As well as can be expected.” He replied, “Why are you here Abby?”

“To see an old friend,” she said, “to make sure that you were being treated okay, that they hadn’t… done whatever it is they do to prisoners…”

She looked back down the corridor of cells before looking back at Jaha.

“I think I’m the only one here,” he said, “it’s been quiet. You need to listen to me Abby, you cannot let this alliance between our people and there’s stand. There is too much at risk.”

“There is no alliance,” Abby said, “not after their Commander left my daughter to rescue us from Mount Weather alone. They are just working together against something that threatens us both.”

“Our people are at no risk,” he said, “I should have expected Clarke not to tell you the whole story.”

“Then you tell me.” Abby replied with a smile.

“Our people will be safe, protected,” he said, as he started walking around in the cell, “I have been assured that no harm will come to us. We’ll be free, Abby, free to live in peace. The new beginnings of the human race. These people… they are holding us back, they are holding back the entire human race.”

“What would we need to do for that vision of the future to happen?” Abby asked, not letting her mind read too much into what Jaha was saying, or more importantly what he wasn’t saying.

“We need to do nothing,” he replied with a smile, “everything is moving forward as planned. All we need to do is get our people to the city beyond the City of Light, deliver the Commander to A.L.I.E and we will be left to live there in peace. After the bomb is detonated we will no longer have to worry about answering to anyone else, we will control our own lives, rather than have our lives and our every move controlled by a child.”

“Clarke…” Abby started to say.

“I wasn’t talking about Clarke, Abby,” he said, “you know as well as I do that your daughter isn’t in control here. She, along with everyone else in this place, answers to the Commander.”

“Lexa…” Abby said with a nod.

“Yes, Lexa.” Jaha replied, “Her people will always be the most important in her mind. She has turned her back on us before, what is stopping her doing that again. Clarke is… confused. She believes that Lexa’s way forward is the only one. But it isn’t. Our way forward will ensure our survival. Your daughters mind is being clouded Abby, this misguided notion of friendship with Lexa that she holds on to, it is clouding her mind.”

“They passed friendship a long time ago…” Abby said with a little laugh, “Clarke thinks that a lasting peace can be gained through our cooperation with the Grounders. Both sets of people are at risk, and from what I understand, only one would survive what you’re talking about.”

“It’s evolution,” Jaha said, “the strongest, the smartest, survive. We survive.”

“At what cost?” Abby asked, “Another nuclear bomb could be disastrous, and what happens if the world that remains still isn’t what A.L.I.E envisioned, what then?”

“It will be,” he replied, “she has considered every outcome. We will thrive in the new world. There will be no wars, no fighting. Our people will thrive Abby.”

“So we go to this city,” Abby said, “and we’ll be safe? Why does she want Lexa? You said that we would need to deliver the Commander to her, what does she want with Lexa?”

“The Commander interests her,” he said, “I don’t know how much you know about the history of the Grounders, but Lexa is the pinnacle of that. She has done what every leader before her failed to do. All previous leaders died young, Lexa is close to the age the eldest died at. Every one of them led their people into war, as Lexa has, the majority of those leaders had no interest in uniting people only destroying them. This continent is as close as it has ever been to being united under one leader, that has not happened since before the nuclear war. Lexa has done that. Even with everything that she has faced, every life that has been taken from her, she has not wavered from that. A.L.I.E is interested in what it is that drives her forward. Any other person would have stopped, given up, but Lexa didn’t. She believes that she can learn something from her.”

“She wants to study her?” Abby asked in disbelief.

“In a way, yes.” He said.

“And then what?” The woman asked, “once she has finished finding out what it is that makes Lexa tick, what will happen to her?”

“Why do you care?” he asked, walking closer to the bars, “She is a threat to our people Abby, a threat to your daughter. Deep down I think you know that.”

“I personally wouldn’t mind it if she died,” Abby said, “the pain she has caused Clarke. She trusted her and Lexa turned her back and walked away. We could have all died in that mountain and Lexa wouldn’t have cared at all.”

“We are always going to come second in the Commanders eyes.” Jaha said with a nod, “You need to get Clarke to listen to you, get her to understand what is at stake here.”

Abby nodded a little.

“Time is running out Abby,” he continued, “this offer of survival is not open ended.”

“How much time do we have?” Abby asked.

“A matter of weeks,” he replied, “she has reassembled the warhead, her drones took care of what I couldn’t. As she hasn’t heard from me time may run out sooner than expected.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

It hadn’t taken long after Lexa’s rider arrived at the Ice Nation camp for word to get back to the Commander. The Queen of the Ice Nation would travel to Polis. She knew it was either that, or Lexa would go there, the outcome was likely to be the same no matter the location. With the impending arrival of the woman in Polis, Lexa knew that time was running out. As she had told Clarke the previous evening, she couldn’t fight a war on two fronts. With the Mountain Men gone, the common enemy which had united her people was also gone, Lexa had expected this to put a strain on the coalition, but from what she had heard so far, that was not the case. The Mountain Men had been one of the main reasons that the coalition had been born, but now the other leaders could see the benefits of the trade agreements and the unrestricted travel through coalition territory. The Commander didn’t know if the other clans would feel the same about the coalition if she killed the Queen of the Ice Nation. The clan of the North wasn’t one which was liked amongst her people, they were tolerated as they joined the coalition, but they had always been the only clan who had always seemed to be one decision away from all out war. They were well trained, battle hardened and Lexa would quietly admit, terrifying. The loyalty they had to their Queen was unwavering. She was almost twice Lexa’s age, and for her to be alive and still in control of her people, Lexa knew that she wasn’t an enemy to be taken lightly. But Lexa had done something that she never could, she had united their people. She had the largest army ever seen at her command, this was one time that she hoped she wouldn’t have to use it. Breaking the coalition between her people and the Ice Nation may lead other clans to back out as well, choosing a side between the two, at the back of her mind Lexa hoped that she had done enough in the previous few years to indicate that her side was the right one. Deep down she knew that she shouldn’t be even thinking about any of that, not until the Ice Nation Queen arrived in Polis.

She had called the representatives of the clans to an emergency meeting, she had considered whether or not to invite the representative of the Ice Nation, his loyalty was to Lexa after all. He was a go-between for the two, but Lexa knew that if it came to it, she could count on him. She had also asked Kassius to let Clarke know about the meeting, the Sky Girl needed to know the extent of the situation, she needed to know the dangers that would come from having the Ice Nation Queen in Polis. Part of Lexa wanted to tell Luna to take Clarke, and Neva, and go. But she knew that she couldn’t do that. Clarke was her own person, she was a leader in her own right, and as her people were also in Polis she deserved to know the truth. She also knew that no matter how dangerous, Clarke wouldn’t leave, not if her people were at risk. Lexa wasn’t sure if the Sky People would be at risk, though if an all out war did take place between the clans everyone would be in danger, but she knew that simply having the Ice Nation Queen there would be a risk to Clarke. The Commander didn’t know how much the other woman knew about the leader of the Sky People, or the relationship she had with Lexa, but she did know that the other woman would figure it out pretty quickly once in the same city.

As Lexa had told Clarke, a lot had changed since the time she lost Costia, she was older and wiser than she had been then. She was a lot less trusting of the people around her, a lot more suspicious of people’s intentions. But one thing hadn’t changed. The worry about what would happen. Lexa had lived through the pain once, she didn’t think she could do it again. Plus, it was different. Clarke wasn’t Costia. The feelings between her and Clarke were different to what she had felt for Costia. The girl she lost had been one of her people, someone she had to protect, someone she held command over. Though Costia had never seen her like that, Costia had always seen her as Lexa, not Heda. Clarke was different, Clarke was her equal. The blonde girl challenged her in ways Costia never did, where Costia made Lexa believe, Clarke made her question everything. Lexa had always felt that she needed to be challenged, she didn’t need to have someone there who would agree with every little thing she said, though Clarke didn’t agree with most things that Lexa said.

Anya had once told Lexa that she had chosen Costia because it was easy, it was simple. Costia reminded Lexa of a simpler time, a time when she hadn’t been Heda, and Lexa had wanted to cling to that. It had caused an argument between them at the time, Lexa refusing to admit that Anya was right. But as time moved on she could see that Anya may have been right, not that she would ever have told her that. Costia had been hers before she was called to lead her people, she wasn’t with Lexa because of who she was in rank, she was with her because of who she was as a person. She had been the only one who could see through Lexa’s lies and call her out on them, she had been able to read Lexa like an open book. That is one thing that Costia and Clarke had in common. They could both look beyond the Commander, and see Lexa. She had loved Costia, of course she had, with every fibre of her being she had loved her. That was something she had never doubted, never questioned. As the time passed without her the pain that Lexa had felt faded, it had stopped being that sharp pain in her chest when she woke up in the morning to find that the dreams she had during the night were not real, and instead became a dull ache that she constantly carried with her. Things that had constantly reminded her of the other girl soon became nothing more than a faded memory of a life she could never have. But Lexa knew that life with Costia was one she could never have anyway, from the moment she had been called to lead her people she knew that. Costia had wanted the world, and she had wanted it with Lexa. The forever part of Costia’s plan for them was something that Lexa had wanted to give her, but she knew that she would never be able to. She had explained to Costia that everyone else would always have to come first, the other girl had understood that, of course she had, she was one of Lexa’s people after all. There was an innocence to their relationship which Lexa knew that she would never feel again. They were together, and that had been enough.

With Clarke things were definitely different. Clarke made her feels things that Costia never did. She attracted the different parts of Lexa, parts of her that Costia had never seen. The dark parts of herself which she had desperately tried to hide. But the blonde girl also made Lexa believe that forever may be possible. They were both leaders of their people, they both understood what was at stake with every passing moment. Clarke was the only person who had ever seen Lexa as a whole, not the separate parts, all of her. The Commander had always seen the world differently to most of her people, her ideas for uniting the other clans had been laughed away at first. Indra telling her that the Heda’s before her had similar ideas, but those ideas didn’t last long when the war came. And the war always came. It had always been the same, win one battle and it didn’t take long for the next to arrive. But Lexa wanted more than that, she wanted more than that for her people. She believed that as a whole united people, they would be so much more than they ever were when they were separate. Then the Sky Girl arrived. Walked into Lexa’s tent like she belonged there. Offered Lexa a way forward without further bloodshed. From the first moment Lexa had laid eyes on her she knew that Clarke would be trouble for her. There hadn’t been a single person who had been able to break down the walls that Lexa had built, but she knew at that moment, that Clarke would be the one to do that, whether she knew she was doing it or not. She dragged Lexa back into the present, made her start thinking about the future again instead of living one day to the next, surviving any way she could. She made Lexa believe that peace was possible, that life didn’t have to be about surviving, it could be about living. The Commander had forgotten what it felt like to actually live in the world. She had been fine the way it had been, thinking about nothing more than what was right for her people. Clarke changed all that. Luna had once said to Lexa ‘The heart wants what it wants’, it had taken the Commander a while to deal with those words, believing that listening to her heart would bring her nothing but pain. When she met Clarke she completely understood what Luna had meant. She also knew that the pain she would feel if she ever lost Clarke in the same way that she lost Costia would be a million times worse for everyone around her. If she ever lost Clarke in that way, Lexa knew that she wouldn’t stop until every last drop of Ice Nation blood had been split. And that terrified her. Clarke terrified her. Not as a person or a leader, but in what she represented to Lexa. The life that she could never have.

As Lexa was waiting for everyone to arrive for the meeting, the door to the meeting room opened and Neva walked in. She hadn’t knocked, hadn’t waited to see if Lexa was busy, she just walked in.

“I have a question…” Neva said.

“You also need to learn to knock,” Lexa replied, “if doors are left open, you are free to enter, if a door is closed, you knock.”

Neva turned and walked from the room, closing the door behind her. Lexa sat a little confused about what had just happened, but when a small knock came on the door she laughed a little.

“Yes.” Lexa said, fighting to remove the smile as Neva re-entered the room.

“I have a question.” Neva said again, in the same way she had the first time.

“If I can answer it, I will.” Lexa said honestly.

“What is going to happen to me?” Neva asked.

“A valid question,” Lexa said with a nod as she stood up, she walked a little closer to the girl, crouching down in front of her so their eyes were level, “The Queen of the Azgeda will arrive here tomorrow evening, your Kwin…”

“She is not…” Neva started to say, “I am not…”

“Neva,” Lexa said softly, trying to calm the younger girl, “she is coming here so I can get answers to the very many questions that I have for her…”

“Are you going to kill her?” the younger girl asked.

“Would you hate me if I did?” Lexa asked.

“She lied to me,” Neva replied, “all my life. She knew the answers to the questions I asked, but she didn’t tell me.”

“She didn’t tell you because she needed you to hate me,” Lexa said, “her plan would not work if you knew the truth, if I knew the truth…”

“Did you ever look for me?” Neva asked, her voice cracking and quiet.

“When the attack came on Tondc…” Lexa replied, blinking back the tears which she now felt burning her eyes, deciding quickly whether to be honest or tell the younger girl what she needed to hear, “I didn’t even know about you. My…our parents had obviously decided to tell me when I arrived, which I didn’t because I was forced to remain here. When I got the reports of the attack nobody could tell me who had attacked or where they had taken you. But I did look, yes. I had my army searching nearby towns and villages for weeks, but you weren’t there…”

“Would you ever lie to me Lexa?” Neva asked, looking at the floor.

“Not if I could help it,” Lexa replied with a small laugh, “sometimes it is better to keep certain things quiet, but I will always be as honest as I can be.”

“What happens when Queen Nia gets here?” the younger girl asked.

“That all depends on her,” Lexa said, “she is going to know by now why I’ve asked that she come here. The fact that she has decided to come instead of kill my messenger and send him back to me in pieces, is a good sign. But I do not know the strength she is going to bring with her. Her guard, her forces. She is not going to come here alone, that I know…”

“Her main guard is 6 men,” Neva said, “all trained since birth for the job, every one of them willing to die for her. She never goes anywhere without her blades. She carries a sword like you do at her back, she has a dagger at her side, and a hidden one by her lower leg. She does not leave the camp without at least 20 warriors with her. All will be armed, and all will have orders to kill the moment her life is threatened.”

“Can you tell me anything more?” Lexa asked.

“She fears you…” Neva replied, “she never said that, but I know she does. Every time she talked about you her eyes would… she got angry. She would never attack you directly, because she always said that would be suicide. She knows that she cannot beat you in combat, which is why she never tried. If she does try to mount an attack on you here, it will come against…”

“Clarke…” Lexa said quietly, to which Neva nodded.

“Queen Nia had hoped to talk to Clarke before you did,” Neva continued, “after the fall of the mountain. She knew that you left them there, you broke the alliance you had with them and betrayed them. She believed if she could talk to Clarke before you did, with her mind… damaged and against you, she could have turned Clarke to her side. Why did you leave the Sky People to die?”

“It was not a decision I came to easily,” The Commander said with a sigh, “I was given a choice by the Mountain Men, they would return all of our people who were inside the mountain if I took my army and walked away.”

“But Clarke was your friend…” Neva said.

“And my people always have to come first…” Lexa said with a soft smile.

Neva narrowed her eyes a little as she looked at Lexa.

“What?” Lexa asked, knowing that look well.

“If you live your life like that, you will always be alone,” Neva replied, “you will live alone, and you will die alone…”

“Are you sure you’re only 8?” Lexa asked with a small laugh as she stood up again.

“She cares about you,” the younger girl replied, “don’t have to be Raven to see that. You can do both, you know, be Heda and be Lexa.”

“If only life were that simple…” Lexa said as a knock came at the door, “Yes…”

Kassius opened the door.

“Sorry to interrupt Heda,” he said, looking between Lexa and Neva, “the representatives have started to arrive.”

“And Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“Will be here soon, she is just helping Raven with something,” Kassius replied, “Clarke’s mother would like to talk to you when you have a moment.”

Lexa nodded a little.

“Tell her that I will come to the clinic after the meeting.” She said.

“Yes Heda,” Kassius replied with a nod before looking at Neva, “would you care to join me feeding Heda’s horses?”

Neva looked up at Lexa with an excited look on her face, Lexa couldn’t stop the small smile forming on her lips as she nodded slightly. The Commander sighed a little as Neva left with Kassius, she still hadn’t answered Neva’s original question, though the girl seemed to understand that Lexa didn’t have an answer for her. Not yet.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke arrived just as the other clan representatives were taking their seats. Kassius had told her absolutely nothing about what the meeting was going to be about, and she couldn’t help but think about what Luna had said after the previous meeting that Clarke had attended. Nobody from the outside had been at one of the meetings, now she’d have been at two.

“Are you sure it’s okay me being here?” Clarke asked Lexa quietly as she sat down.

“Of course,” Lexa replied just as quietly, “this involves your people just as much as it does mine.”

As all the seats in the circle were filled Clarke noticed that nobody had any real idea why they were there, that set her on edge a little.

“Any idea why we’re here Sky Girl?” Luna asked quietly from where she sat at Clarke’s right.

“Not a clue…” Clarke replied, “you don’t know what this is about?”

Luna shook her head as Lexa stood up.

“It was brought to my attention earlier that Queen Nia of the Azgeda will be arriving here tomorrow evening…” Lexa said, deciding to get right to the point, it didn’t take long for a mutter to go around the room, Lexa raised her hand a little before she continued, “at my request.”

“I was not aware of this request Heda.” Rohan said, “any request for Queen Nia to come here before has been turned down, I should know, I’m the one who had to ask.”

“I left her with no choice,” Lexa replied, “her options were either she come here, or I would go there.”

“And that worked?” someone else asked.

“With the added point that if I had to go there, then I would remove her head.” Lexa said calmly, like it was such an everyday thing to do, “as you are all aware two Azgeda arrived here in Polis recently. The warrior, Echo, and the child, Neva. I had asked Echo to come here, but I was not aware what day she would be arriving. The information that I have been receiving on the Azgeda over the last few weeks has come from her…”

“Heda…” Rohan started to say.

“I’m sorry Rohan,” Lexa said, looking at him, “I needed information that you could not get me. The information that Echo was giving me suggested that the Azgeda would approach the Sky People, this in itself would not have been a problem for me, as we have no alliance with them and every clan is free to make alliances of its own as long as they are not a threat to the current coalition…”

Lexa glanced back at Clarke, her eyes shifting across to Luna who shook her head a little.

“I am aware that the Azgeda were wanting to approach the Sky People primarily because of the technology they removed from the mountain,” Lexa continued, Clarke noticing that Luna had dropped her head a little, “technology which could be considered a threat to us, to the coalition as it stands…”

“Then the Sky People are a threat to us.” Someone said, Clarke looked around to see who had said it, but she’d never seen the man before.

“No,” Lexa said sternly, “they are not. But had the Azgeda got their hands on that technology, they would be. That is not why I requested that Queen Nia come here, that matter is a little more… personal.”

Clarke watched as Lexa started to pace, something that she was fast learning that Lexa did when she was uncomfortable or overthinking things.

“Many of you have been representatives, or leaders of your clans for many years,” Lexa continued, “some of you before I was called to lead my people. You have all seen as this coalition has grown, and our people have become something more than that which we were…”

“Under your leadership, Heda.” Rohan said, nodding his head slightly.

“You were all involved when I made the decision to pull my army back from Azgeda territory, you were all present when the Azgeda signed the coalition agreement,” Lexa said, pacing as she talked, “every one of you knows the personal pain I had been through before that. Every decision I have made as Heda has been for the good of my people, for the benefit of the 12 clans. I have never put anything personal above my duties, which is why this is difficult for me to say…”

Clarke knew the inner turmoil that must have been coursing through Lexa at that point, her people were always to come first, but now Lexa was about to inform them all about something that was meaningful for her.

“Neva, the Azgeda child,” Lexa said, “was not born Azgeda, but Trikru… 8 years ago, in Tondc. She is not just of my village, she is of my blood. She is the goufa who was taken from my mother, before my mother was killed…”

Luna and Clarke both noticed the others all looking at each other, most believed without question what Lexa was saying, a few seemed to have their doubts.

“It has recently been confirmed that the attack was, as I expected, committed by the Azgeda…” Lexa continued.

“Heda,” Rohan said, interrupting her, “if I may… Queen Nia informed you of all attacks that had been committed by the Azgeda against the Trikru and the Tondc attack was not one of them.”

“Rohan,” Lexa replied, looking at him, “if she had confirmed my suspicions that day, you would not be sitting here as the Azgeda would no longer exist.”

“How do you know that she is the one that…” he started to say.

“Because she sent my own blood to kill me!” Lexa snapped, stopping his sentence before he could finish and causing everyone in the room to visibly flinch with the tone in her voice.

“The goufa,” Lexa said calming herself down as she continued to speak, “was sent here to kill me. She knew nothing of where she was born, the family she was born into, my family. I called you all here today to inform you of what has happened, and what I hope to happen. Any assassination plot, successful or not, against the Heda is punishable by death…”

“Unless you grant her a pardon, Heda.” Rohan said.

“But it’s not possible to grant Neva a pardon and not the Ice Nation Queen,” Clarke said, shaking her head a little, unable to stop the words pouring out of her mouth, “to pardon the attacker would also mean pardoning the person who organised the attempt, or the plot for the attempt in this case.”

Lexa snapped her head round and looked at Clarke, the blonde wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Sky Girl you know nothing of our rules.” Someone else said, it was the same person who had said that the Sky People were a threat.

“I sat awake all last night reading your rules,” Clarke replied, “and there is nothing in any of the books that will allow L… the Commander to pardon Neva without also giving a pardon to Queen Nia.”

“She’s right,” Luna said, backing up what Clarke was saying, “those books contain nothing that will help here. To punish Queen Nia, to hold her accountable for the plot, Heda would also have to hold Neva accountable for her part in it.”

“If those are the rules…” the man said again.

“You cannot expect her to put her own sister to death,” Clarke said, “that is ridiculous. She’s an 8 year old child, a child…”

“Clarke…” Lexa said, a slight warning tone to her voice.

“No,” Clarke said shaking her head, “this is bullshit Commander, and you know it.”

Lexa clenched her jaw and took a deep breath. Clarke hadn’t only spoken against her, she had done it at a council meeting. Lexa glanced over at Luna who just shrugged her shoulders a little.

“I understand that you still find some of our rules and law harsh, Clarke,” Lexa said, looking at the blonde, willing her to not answer back with her eyes, “but these laws have stood for as long as anyone can remember. I cannot simply change them because it will benefit me.”

“That’s exactly what you could do,” Clarke said, “you’re the leader here, the Heda…”

“Enough, Clarke…” Lexa said.

“There may be a way around it Heda.” Samara said, she was the representative for the Desert clan.

“What is it, Samara?” Lexa asked, knowing that Samara had been involved in politics for a very long time, longer than Lexa herself had been alive.

“Information, Heda,” Samara replied, “a pardon can be granted to your sister, if she can give you any information about Queen Nia that may help you in your… discussions with her. The fact that she has already told you what she was sent here to do will work in her favour.”

“How do you know this old woman?” someone asked.

“It has happened before,” Samara asked, “many years ago, when Heda was but a small goufa herself. The leader of the Mountain Clan sent an assassin for the Heda at the time. But when he arrived here in Polis, he could not follow through with his mission.”

“The Mountain Clan were eliminated…” Lexa said quietly.

“Exactly.” Samara said.

“And the assassin?” Lexa asked, looking at Samara.

“Is the very blacksmith who forged your sword, Heda.” She replied with a small smile.

“Marius?” Clarke asked in amazement.

“Yes,” Samara said with a smile as she looked at Clarke, “on his arrival here in Polis, his first stop was the local Inn…”

“Not surprising.” Clarke said with a laugh.

“There he met a beautiful young woman,” Samara continued with her tale, “he decided that night that he would go to the Heda and tell her everything, in the hope that the Heda would allow him to live.”

“Love makes you do stupid things…” Lexa said quietly, before she had even realised she said it.

“No child,” Samara said, “love is a strength that you don’t realise you need until you allow it to slip away.”

“We accept your request to grant a pardon to the goufa.” Rohan said, “and on behalf of the Azgeda, I accept the pardon granted to her, as she was raised by my clan.”

Lexa nodded her thanks.

“I will also take this chance to inform you of my people’s views of our Queen…” Rohan started to say, causing everyone in the room to look at him, “she is not loved, but feared. If you remove her from her seat of power the Azgeda will not separate from the coalition.”

“And you can guarantee that?” Lexa asked.

“You have my word,” he said, “as the highest ranking officer after the Queen, it will be my duty to appoint our next leader.”

“Not to be the voice of doom here,” Luna said, looking apologetically at Lexa, “as you know where I stand on her keeping her head, or not… You cannot just kill her, Heda, you know that. You will have to get her to admit, in front of witnesses, that she not only ordered your assassination, but also the attack on Tondc.”

“There are methods at my disposal to encourage people to talk, Luna.” Lexa said with a small smile, “you know that.”

“Yes, Heda.” Luna replied with a small smile of her own.

“You’re going to torture her?” Clarke asked.

“Not personally.” Lexa replied.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

After the meeting had finished Lexa made her way to the clinic, as Clarke and Luna went to the training ground, she knew she had to talk to Abby. She and Clarke’s mother had never really seen eye to eye, but Lexa also knew that Abby had been to talk to Jaha earlier that day so she was interested in what the older woman had found out. Jaha had been talking to Clarke, opening up a little more to her, but part of Lexa knew that he would talk to Abby more.

The clinic was pretty quiet when she arrived, the queues that she had seen outside the previous day were not there. As she walked inside she saw Abby talking to a woman who had a rash on her arm, the woman dropped silent when she saw Lexa.

“To what do we owe the pleasure?” Abby asked, looking back at Lexa before she turned back to examine the woman’s arm.

“I was informed that you wanted to talk to me.” Lexa replied.

“Yes,” Abby said, “give me a minute to finish up here.”

“Abby, I can wait,” the woman said, “Heda is…”

“Not going anywhere and is capable of waiting a few minutes,” Lexa said interrupting the woman, “allow Abby to finish her examination.”

“Yes, Heda.” The woman replied.

“It is a lot quieter in here today…” Lexa said as she looked around.

“We have set up an appointments system,” Abby replied, not looking back at Lexa, “other than in cases of emergencies. It saves people queuing up every morning.”

“Very efficient.” Lexa said with a nod, “and you have everything that you need?”

“Not everything, no,” Abby said, “I have sent word back to Camp Jaha that I need some of the equipment we have there sent here.”

“Equipment?” Lexa asked, knowing full well where Abby was going with what she was saying.

“Some of the heart monitors, other things that will make saving lives easier,” Abby replied, “it is one thing to treat conditions Lexa, but with the equipment that I have back at Camp Jaha I can save the lives that your healers believe cannot be saved.”

“You should have talked to me about this Abby.” Lexa said, not wanting to make the woman currently sitting on the bed in front of Abby more uncomfortable than she already was.

“You’ve had a lot going on today,” Abby said, “I didn’t want to unnecessarily add to that.”

Lexa didn’t say anything, there was nothing she could say without putting Abby in her place, which she didn’t want to do. If she wanted to be with Clarke in the way she hoped she could be, she was going to have to at least tolerate the doctor. Lexa also knew that Abby meant well, wanting to save more people rather than just manage the conditions they had, and for that she could not fault her.

“This is an allergic reaction,” Abby said to the woman, “nothing serious. Have you been in contact with anything that you normally wouldn’t?”

The woman looked between Abby and Lexa, obviously uncomfortable.

“I will wait outside.” Lexa said, turning and making her way from the clinic.

As Lexa made her way outside she looked across to the small clearing opposite the building. There she saw young children playing with wooden swords. They were laughing and running around chasing each other. She found it hard to remember a time when she had been that young, or had that much fun with a small wooden sword. One of the children spotted her.

“Heda, Heda,” the young girl said running over to where Lexa was standing, “yu gonplei kom osir.”

“I am busy…” Lexa said as the girl grabbed her hand and started dragging over to the clearing, “perhaps another time.”

“Play, Heda.” The girl said.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

When Abby had finished with her patient she had expected Lexa to come back inside as the woman was leaving, when that didn’t happen Abby stepped outside to find her. She had not expected to see Lexa kneeling in the dirt, surrounded by children, while drawing something on the ground with her blade. She walked over to where they were and noticed another group of children nearby, also knelt in a small group looking over at Lexa and the other children.

“Am I interrupting something?” Abby asked.

“We are currently in the middle of a battle strategy,” Lexa said looking up at her, “would you like to join us Abby?”

“Battle strategy?” Abby asked, a small smile on her lips.

“Indeed,” Lexa replied, “this is us…”

She pointed to part of the diagram on the floor.

“And that is them,” Lexa continued, “they are going to attack us and we have to stay alive.”

“I think I’ll just wait over here…” Abby said with a nod, walking away a little.

Abby stood and watched as the battle planning meetings were finished and everyone stood up. A young girl stood in front of where Lexa was standing, she turned and looked back at the older girl who nodded a little. She held her little wooden sword up and pointed it towards the other group of children.

“Attack!” she yelled, causing all the other children to run towards the other group.

Abby could see the small smile on Lexa’s lips as the children started playing, battle strategy completely forgotten. She watched as the Commanders eyes widened a little as all the kids turned and ran towards her. It didn’t take long for Lexa to be on the ground, all the kids holding her down apart from one who was dancing around.

“We beat Heda…” she was saying.

Lexa laughed as she stood up, ruffling the young girls hair.

“Again?” the girl asked looking at her.

“I have an important matter to take care of,” Lexa said, crouching down in front of her, “but thank you for allowing me to join your clan.”

Abby watched as the young girl smiled, it was probably the biggest smile she had ever seen. The young girl then continued to play with her friends as Lexa straightened herself up as she walked over to Abby.

“Shall we?” Lexa asked, clearing her throat as she walked towards the clinic.

“I have to say,” Abby replied, walking next to Lexa, “I never thought I would see that.”

“See what?” Lexa asked as she looked at Abby, her face completely void of all emotion, before a small smile broke on her lips, “it has been a while. I think the last time I was defeated in that manner was when I was 15. I managed to escape from training with Anya for a few hours… It reminds me what I fight for, what I ask my warriors to die for… So that they…”

She looked back at the children playing.

“May have a safer, more peaceful world to grow up in than I did.” Lexa concluded as they reached the clinic.

“I spoke to Jaha this morning, as you know,” Abby said once they were inside, “he did seem to open up to me a little more than he has with Clarke, which is understandable. He told me that the bomb has been reassembled, something about drones completing what he couldn’t…”

“Then we are already too late…” Lexa said.

“No, not yet,” Abby replied, “he said that we have a matter of weeks, though I still don’t know if that’s weeks from the time he left there and came here, or weeks from now. The A.I is certainly interested in studying you though.”

“She wishes to find out what makes me tick, or so Clarke said.” Lexa said with a nod, “I still do not understand why.”

“You fascinate her,” Abby replied with a shrug, “she doesn’t understand how you united the clans when you had everything taken from you.”

“With great difficulty…” the younger girl said with a sigh as she sat down on one of the seats.

“He didn’t tell me what she would do to you after she had… studied you.” Abby said, sitting down near Lexa.

“Have me killed, no doubt.” Lexa said, “if she knows half as much about me as she seems to, she knows that I will not allow her to kill my people. I am a threat to her, to her ideas.”

“Thelonious said that all my people have to do to ensure our survival, is to deliver you to her.” Abby said.

“Is that what you want Abby?” Lexa asked, looking at the older woman.

“What I want is not important,” she replied, “I’m not in charge here.”

“It doesn’t matter whether it’s important or not, I asked if that is what you wanted.” Lexa said, her eyes fixed on Abby, though she was sure she already knew what her answer would be.

“Honestly?” Abby asked looking back at Lexa.

“Honesty is always the best thing, yes.” Lexa said with a nod.

“I don’t know any more,” Abby said, shaking her head a little, “if you’d have asked me that question a week ago, the answer would have been simple. If handing you over to someone was the cost of the survival of my people, damn right I would do it. But now… I’m not so sure.”

“I can appreciate that,” Lexa replied with a small smile, “what has changed your mind, from wanting me dead, to possibly only wanting me dead?”

“Clarke…” Abby said which caused Lexa to smile again, “Raven, Octavia, even Bellamy… You’re obviously not the person you pretend to be, Lexa. What you told me about Costia and the Ice Nation showed me that, my daughter and her friends made me realise it completely. Raven hated you for what happened to Finn. We were all there, we saw what it did to her. Once she hates someone, that’s usually it, there’s no way back from that. But now… Now she’s here, living in your city, and she trusts you. That girl has had such a difficult life, it takes a lot for her to trust someone, and she trusts you, which tells me that maybe you’re not all bad. And my daughter… well… I have to believe that she isn’t just thinking of herself when it comes to your… relationship.”

“You do not agree with it?” Lexa asked.

“The trust or the relationship?” Abby asked with a small smile, “Clarke is smart enough to make those choices for herself. Did I hope she would choose someone a little less… complicated? Sure I did. But she didn’t and I have to respect that.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

When Clarke finally made it back upstairs to Lexa’s room she found the Commander sitting in one of the chairs in front of the fire, reading.

“I hear someone was defeated in battle today.” Clarke said as she closed the door.

“It appears you have spoken to your mother.” Lexa replied with a laugh.

“I did…” Clarke said, taking her jacket off and hanging it on one of the hooks on the back of the door, “she told me you had this whole strategy planned and you still ended up losing.”

“Plans don’t last long in battle,” Lexa said with a nod as she put down the book, “especially not when your army turns on you.”

“But you’re the great Commander Lexa.” Clarke said with a laugh.

“And they did not play fair,” Lexa replied with a laugh of her own, “but they enjoyed it.”

“Did you?” Clarke asked as she slowly walked over to where Lexa was sitting.

“I did,” Lexa replied with a nod as she reached out and took Clarke’s hand, pulling her softly into her lap, “it was nice to forget about things for a while.”

“And what things were you forgetting about?” Clarke asked as Lexa put her arms around her waist and softly kissed her neck.

“Oh, I don’t know, possibly the impending doom of the entire planet.” Lexa replied, causing Clarke to laugh.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Raven.” The blonde said.

“Neva asked me a question that I couldn’t answer,” Lexa said with a sigh as she rested her chin on Clarke’s shoulder as the two of them looked at the burning fire, “she wanted to know what was going to happen to her, and I couldn’t give her an answer…”

“Well now you can,” Clarke replied, “now you can tell her that nothing is going to happen to her.”

“You shouldn’t have spoken to me the way you did in the meeting…” Lexa said quietly.

“I know,” Clarke said, “but I had one of those moments where the words just came out of my mouth before I could stop them. I’m not going to apologise for what I said, if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“It isn’t,” Lexa replied with a small laugh, “I think a few of the representatives found it… refreshing.”

“What’s Samara’s story?” Clarke asked, leaning back a little more into Lexa’s arms.

“She has been a representative for the Desert Clan for more years than I have been alive,” Lexa replied, “she has seen the many changes that have gone on both here in Polis and across the entire territory. She is one of the only people who believed that I shouldn’t allow the Azgeda to join the coalition and actually called for a public execution. I recall during one of the feasts that we had in the early times of the coalition, she had a little too much to drink and proceeded to tell Indra that she needed to find herself a nice man, or woman.”

Clarke laughed as Lexa spoke.

“She and Indra have not spoken since.” Lexa said.

“I can see her point, about Indra I mean.” Clarke replied.

“She had a family once,” Lexa said with a sigh, “a husband and two sons…”

“What happened to them?” Clarke asked.

“The mountain took her husband and her youngest son,” Lexa replied, “her eldest son died during the battle with the Azgeda, taking a blade that was meant for me…”

“Well… shit.” Clarke said, “that actually kind of explains a lot.”

“It’s not that Indra doesn’t care Clarke,” Lexa said, kissing the blonde’s neck again, “it’s just when she allows herself to care, she allows herself to be hurt, again…”

“Sounds like someone else I know…” Clarke said with a small laugh, placing her hands over Lexa’s.

“It would sometimes be easier if I didn’t care…” Lexa said quietly.

“Your problem isn’t that you don’t care,” Clarke replied, turning her head a little so she could look at Lexa, “it’s that you care too much. Every death of every warrior, you feel every single one of them. Every person who suffers here in Polis, or in any of the other villages and towns, you feel that too. You just pretend not to.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been told that I care too much…” Lexa said, swallowing as her mouth suddenly started to feel very dry.

“That’s because it’s easier for you if people don’t see that,” Clarke said, “you love to pretend you’re this badass…”

Lexa’s look changed from intrigued to confused pretty quickly and Clarke couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped her.

“Badass means tough…” she said.

“In that case there is no pretence here…” Lexa said with a smirk, “I am a badass.”

“Yes you are.” Clarke replied with a laugh, softly kissing Lexa’s lips, “but that’s not all you are. My mom realised that earlier when she saw you playing around with the kids. You have a massive heart Lexa, it’s just easier for you to hide that away, pretend that it isn’t there… but it is.”

“You sound extremely sure of that,” Lexa said, “how do you know that this isn’t just some… ploy. To make you trust me, to ensure the survival of my people?”

“Because I know you,” Clarke replied, “sometimes I think I know you better than I know myself, and if this is some ploy to make me trust you… well played Commander, it worked.”

Lexa laughed a little.

“You’re the most dangerous thing in the world to me, Clarke of the Sky People…” she said quietly, her mind taking her back to the thoughts she’d had earlier that day, “I could face an army of thousands alone and still not feel the fear that I do when I look into your eyes…”

“Why do you fear me, Lexa?” Clarke asked.

“Because you are the only thing on this planet that can destroy me…” Lexa replied, “the only thing that can be used to destroy me. I’ve lost everything, and everyone who I’ve ever cared about, who has ever known me, for me. I survived all of that. But losing you… that would be the end of me.”

“Good thing you’re not going to lose me then isn’t it…” Clarke said with a soft smile.

“You can’t know that,” Lexa said, shaking her head a little, “Neva told me something today, something that I already knew, but she confirmed it. She said if Queen Nia was going to mount an attack against me here, it wouldn’t be against me directly… it would be against you. Because she knows that the only way to hurt me is to hurt you…”

“Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op…” Clarke said quietly.

Lexa smiled a little as she remembered the day she had said those words to Clarke.

“Attack her and you attack me…” Lexa translated, “that statement is still true today.”

“What’s going to happen tomorrow?” Clarke asked.

“I have no idea…” Lexa replied, “I may leave Indra alone with Queen Nia for a few moments, I’m sure she has a few choice words she would like to say to her.”

“You’d better get what you need from her before you do that,” Clarke said, “something tells me she won’t be able to talk when Indra is through with her.”

“That is very true…” Lexa said.

Clarke sighed as she turned herself a little, so she was facing Lexa. Her knees falling either side of Lexa’s legs. She softly cupped Lexa’s face, looking into her eyes as if she was searching for an answer to some unspoken question.

“What is it that you want from me Lexa?” Clarke asked, “From this… whatever it is?”

“Nothing…” Lexa replied honestly, “everything…”

“One or the other…” Clarke said with a laugh, her lips slowly moving closer to the Commanders.

“Everything, Clarke,” Lexa replied, “I want everything…”

As Clarke finally closed the remaining distance between their lips, Lexa’s hands immediately went to the blonde’s hips. The kiss seemed to contain everything that neither girl was wanting to say, questions asked and answered, promises made and forever pledged. It was unlike anything that Lexa had ever felt before, Clarke had no idea kisses like that were actually real until that moment. The need for air became more apparent and both girls slowly backed away, their foreheads resting against each other as both tried to catch their breath.

“Wow…” Clarke said quietly, causing Lexa to smile a little.

“Are you finally speechless, Clarke?” she asked teasingly.

“Certainly getting there…” Clarke replied, kissing Lexa again.

“If I’d known that is what it would take to stop you talking, I would have done it long ago…” Lexa said as she backed away a little.

“Just… stop talking.” Clarke said, bringing their lips together again.

The kiss started to develop into something more, but it was neither rushed nor desperate. It was slow, it was deep and Lexa felt like she was drowning. She was subconsciously playing with the bottom of the top that Clarke was wearing, the next thing she knew Clarke was pushing against her a little more firmly as her hands slipped under the fabric of the top and brushed Clarke’s skin.

Clarkes head was swimming with questions, the main one she could pick out from the mess of words was ‘is this really happening’. As she felt Lexa’s fingers trailing up her sides she knew the answer to that question. She backed out of the kiss, Lexa’s eyes questioning what she was doing, the blonde stood up. Holding out her hand, she bit her lower lip slightly.

“Not happening in the chair…” she said.

Lexa laughed softly as she stood up, rather than take Clarke’s hand she softly kissed her again.

“Give me a minute…” she said, to which Clarke nodded in reply, confused as she watched Lexa walk towards the door.

Clarke walked over and sat on the edge of Lexa’s bed while she waited to find out what Lexa needed a minute for.

“Kassius…” Lexa said as she saw the man standing across from the door.

“Yes, Heda.” Kassius replied.

“I don’t want anyone knocking on this door until day break, unless the city is on fire…” Lexa said, “and even then it has to be a serious fire, is that understood?”

“Of course…” he said with a small smile, “goodnight Lexa.”

Shaking her head a little she closed the door, turning back to find Clarke sitting on the edge of the bed, a small smile on her lips.

“What?” Lexa asked as she walked over to Clarke.

“Only disturb in case of emergency huh?” Clarke asked with a smirk.

“Sometimes you have to be very clear about these things…” Lexa replied as she made her way over to the bed.

“I will have to bear that in mind…” Clarke said, placing her hands on Lexa’s hips and pulling her closer.

Lexa got the hint and sat with her knees either side of Clarke’s legs as the blonde kissed her again. Her heart was pounding in her chest in a way that she had never felt before as she tangled her fingers in the blonde’s hair as Clarke deepened the kiss. A soft moan made its way to Lexa’s ears, and at that moment she didn’t know if it had been the blonde under her, or if it had been her. At that moment she didn’t care. When Clarke gripped her hips and pulled her harder towards her, Lexa knew the moan she heard that time was from her.

Clarke kissed a long Lexa’s jawline before moving those kisses to her neck.

“Clarke…” Lexa said, her voice coming out as more of a moan than she had intended.

She felt Clarke laugh a little, the blonde’s lips still against her neck.

“I think someone likes that…” Clarke said.

It didn’t take much longer for the clothes they were wearing to be lost, and for Lexa to be above Clarke in her bed, holding herself up with an arm next to the blonde’s head, looking down into those blue eyes that she hoped she could get lost in every day for the rest of her life. However long or short that life was going to be. Clarke lifted her arm, her hand traveling round to the back of Lexa’s neck as she brought their lips together once again. The Commander slowly lowered her weight down on top of the other girl, her leg slipping between Clarke’s, she softly bit down on the blonde’s lip as she felt Clarke’s hips move up slightly and the wetness start to coat her thigh. Her right hand started to make it’s way slowly down Clarke’s body, taking time to tease her nipples on her way down.

“Lexa… please…” Clarke said below her.

“Tell me what you need, Clarke…” Lexa replied, breathing deeply as she attempted to form clear thoughts in her mind.

“You…” Clarke said, “inside me.”

Rather than answering her, Lexa clashed their lips together, her hand finally going to where Clarke needed it. She moaned into the blonde’s mouth when she found how wet she was already. Slowly she pushed a single digit inside the blonde, Clarke’s hips again pushing up towards her as she did. After a few moments a second finger joined the first and Lexa increased the speed of her hand, adding a little pressure with the palm of her hand. By this time Clarke had broken away from the kiss and as Lexa looked at her she thought she had never seen anything so beautiful in all her life.

“Fuck…” Clarke moaned out as Lexa added another finger.

Lexa immediately stilled her hand.

“Did I hurt you…?” she asked Clarke, getting nothing more than a shake of the head in return, she slowly pushed her fingers back inside the wetness that was waiting for her.

It didn’t take much longer for Lexa to feel Clarke start to tighten around her fingers as she felt the blonde’s teeth on the soft skin of her shoulder. The Commander was sure it was going to leave a mark, but at that moment she didn’t care. She pushed her fingers deeper inside the blonde as she pushed her closer and closer to the edge. As Clarke’s teeth broke the skin on Lexa’s shoulder, the blonde through her head back and called out Lexa’s name loud enough that the Commander was sure that every person in the building would probably hear her. Slowing her fingers she let Clarke ride out her high before the blonde started to kiss her again. Lexa pulled her fingers from the girl below her as the kiss continued.

Both knew that it would be a long night, though neither wanted the sun to rise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yu gonplei kom osir - you fight with us  
> Jomp em op en yu jomp ai op - attack her and you attack me (everyone knows that one)


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the night before. Oh, and the Azgeda Queen arrives in Polis. How bad could it be? Read and find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stressful writing it, drop me a review, lemme know what you think (if the notes show at the end, don't pay attention, I am obviously continuing this)

 

When Clarke awoke that next morning she was alone, the sun spilling in through the open balcony doors, she could hear the sounds of the city filtering up from the streets below. As she stretched out on the bed, she found that as her arm stretched across Lexa’s side of the bed, it wasn’t quite as cold as she imagined it would be, meaning that the other girl hadn’t been awake for long. Sitting up in the bed she got flashes of memory from the night before, unable to stop the small smile tugging at her lips she decided she should probably get up. Just as she was about to get out of the bed she heard the door open.

“She’s fine Raven…” Lexa said.

“Then why are you bringing her breakfast up to…” Clarke heard Raven say from outside the room, “hold up, don’t wanna know.”

As Lexa closed the door behind her, shutting out Raven and the rest of the world for a little while longer, Clarke laughed a little.

“Guess I’ll have a lot of questions to answer.” The blonde said as Lexa put the plates of food down on the table.

“I may have threatened to cut out Octavia’s tongue if she didn’t stop asking me questions,” Lexa said with a small smile as she walked over to the bed, softly kissing Clarke as she sat back down, “good morning.”

“Breakfast in bed huh?” Clarke asked, unable to stop the smile on her lips.

“Not quite in bed,” Lexa said with a laugh, “after what we did last night I do not believe it would be hygienic to eat in that bed.”

The blonde felt the tell-tale heat in her cheeks and knew she was blushing. Lexa laughed a little as she stood up and made her way back over to the table.

“The Azgeda delegation will be arriving just after nightfall…” she said, not wanting to sour the current mood, but knowing if she didn’t tell Clarke it would cause problems.

“That’s quick…” Clarke replied, getting out of bed and getting dressed before she walked over to the table, she needed to bathe, but that could wait until after she had eaten.

“It is sooner than I expected,” Lexa said with a nod, as Clarke sat down, “but it simply means they are riding straight here rather than taking any breaks. It does tell me that Queen Nia understands the severity of the situation.”

“It also gives you less time to plan what’s going to happen.” Clarke said, as they both ate.

“I was considering taking a page out of Raven’s book,” Lexa replied with a small smile as Clarke arched her eyebrow questioningly, “fly by the seat of my pants…”

Clarke laughed a little, shaking her head.

“Not sure that’s gonna work with this…” she said.

“It is doubtful…” the other girl replied with a nod, “unfortunately.”

“You’re really worried about this aren’t you?” Clarke asked, already knowing the answer.

“Worried is not the word I would use,” Lexa replied, her eyebrows furrowing a little as she thought about what she meant, “Uncertain would perhaps be a better choice. Usually with something like this it is easy to plan out what will happen. But with Nia… she is unpredictable. I do not know how she will react, I do not know how her soldiers will react…”

“She’s bringing soldiers with her?” Clarke asked.

“Every leader brings soldiers with them, Clarke,” Lexa said, “you brought Octavia and Lincoln. Luna brought her soldiers with her as well, though they spend most of their time in the Inn as she does not believe them necessary here in Polis… Neva told me that Queen Nia does not leave the camp with any less than 20 soldiers with her, all willing to kill the moment that her life is threatened… Which is exactly what I’m going to do.”

“You’re their Heda, surely that has to count for something…” the blonde said quietly.

“The Azgeda feel no loyalty towards me,” Lexa replied with a small laugh, “they are answerable to their Kwin above everyone else.”

“Echo…” Clarke started to say.

“Is different,” Lexa said, “as is Rohan. There are more than a few that would stand with me against Nia, but until that moment comes, I do not know how many…”

“You think it’s going to come down to that?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t know…” Lexa replied honestly.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As Clarke made her way downstairs in the compound, after bathing and changing her clothes, she saw Kassius and Indra deep in discussion with another of Lexa’s generals. Indra looked more stressed than she usually did, which was a surprise as Clarke didn’t think it was possible. Remembering what Lexa had told her, about Indra’s family, the blonde suddenly realised why Indra was stressed. Clarke couldn’t really think about how many of Lexa’s people were going to be on edge about Queen Nia and the Azgeda coming to Polis, a lot of them would have had encounters with the Ice Nation in the past, and as Lexa had already mentioned not many of them had been to Polis.

Indra spotted Clarke and said something to Kassius before making her way over to the blonde.

“May I speak with you a moment?” Indra asked.

“Sure,” Clarke replied with a small sigh, “what’s up?”

“I am unaware of how much Heda has told you…” Indra started to say.

“About the Azgeda arriving later?” Clarke asked to which Indra nodded in reply, “she told me.”

“We believe that it would be better if you remain out of sight while their… while Nia is here.” Indra replied, struggling to use Nia’s title.

“I’m not hiding Indra.” Clarke said, “my people are here, there is no way that I am going to hide away.”

“It would be safer…” Indra said, only to be interrupted again.

“Safer for who?” Clarke asked.

“We do not believe that you will be safe…” the older woman said, hating that she was having to explain herself to Clarke.

“Because of what happened to Costia?” the blonde asked, “well that’s not going to happen again. I don’t need protecting Indra, and I don’t need to hide.”

“Heda may find it easier to focus if she knows that you are safe, Clarke.” Kassius said walking over to them and standing next to Indra, “she is not going to be able to do what needs to be done if she is worrying about you.”

“Then Lexa can ask me herself.” Clarke replied, before she turned and walked away.

As she was walking away she heard Indra mumble something about her being stubborn, she couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped her as she made her way out to the clinic, knowing that Raven would be there.

“Oh look who finally decided to leave the love nest.” Raven said with a smirk as Clarke walked into the clinic.

“You okay?” she asked, motioning to Raven’s leg, which Abby was looking at.

“Yeah,” the mechanic replied with a smile and a nod, “just a check-up.”

Clarke smiled as she sat down on the bed next to Raven.

“So…” The brunette said, “how’s Lexa?”

“Raven…” Abby said, looking at her, “please don’t ask her that in front of me.”

“I was inquiring about her wellbeing, nothing more.” The other girl said with a smirk, “though now you mention it…”

“I’m pretty sure it’s a capital offence to talk about how Heda is in bed, right Nyko?” Clarke said, looking at the man who was currently watching their conversation with an amused expression on his face.

“You’re more likely to be tied to a tree if you imply that you didn’t find it… satisfactory.” He replied with a playful smile.

“Well that’s not going to be a problem…” Clarke replied as she felt herself blushing, which caused both Raven and Nyko to laugh.

“Lexa has asked some of her guard to remain with our people tonight,” Abby said, changing the subject, “do you know why?”

“The Azgeda are on their way,” Clarke said quietly, not wanting to alarm anyone else who may be in the clinic, “Their leader and some soldiers. We don’t know how many yet. I think she’s probably just wanting to be careful.”

“So our lives are in danger?” her mother asked.

“I don’t think so,” Clarke replied, shaking her head a little, “like I said, it’s probably a precaution rather than anything else. The meeting between Lexa and Nia isn’t going to be the most pleasant, so Lexa’s probably just making sure she covers every avenue.”

“I assume that means she’ll make sure you’re safe.” Raven said, glancing over at Clarke.

“I intend to be there when they meet.” Clarke replied.

“Clarke…” Nyko said, a worrying tone in his voice.

“She isn’t likely to do anything to me in front of Lexa and the council,” Clarke said to him, “can you think of anywhere safer for me to be?”

He shook his head and smiled a little.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The rest of the day passed without issue, Clarke almost forgetting what was coming as she sat in the library watching as Lexa taught Neva to read. The Commander had decided that for the day to remain as stress free as possible for her younger sister, they had to keep it as normal as they could. Both Lexa and Clarke knew that Neva would be worrying about what was going to happen when Queen Nia arrived, so it wasn’t mentioned while the young girl was around.

A horn sounding as night fell made them all jump a little, Neva more so.

“What’s that?” Clarke asked.

Lexa shook her head a little as the library door opened and Echo walked in. The Commander closed the book that was on the table in front of them.

“I need you to go with Echo.” Lexa said to Neva.

“Why?” Neva asked, looking between the three older girls.

“Because I asked you to…” Lexa replied.

Neva simply nodded and stood up as Lexa looked at Echo.

“You know where to take her.” She said, it wasn’t a question, it was a statement.

Echo nodded and held out her hand, Neva hesitated and looked back at Lexa.

“I’ll see you soon.” Lexa said to her sister with a small smile, which she hoped was reassuring.

Neva looked up at Echo before turning back and rushing over to Lexa, she threw her arms around her, hugging her tightly for a moment before she backed away. Then she walked over to Echo and took her hand, Lexa took a deep breath as she watched the two walk away.

“Where are they going?” Clarke asked as Lexa stood up and put the book back on the shelf.

“Somewhere safe.” Lexa replied “I was going to ask you to go with them, but Indra informed me that would be a futile task.”

“Nothing is going to happen to me, Lexa,” Clarke said, “she isn’t likely to attack me while you’re all in the room. Plus it’s not like someone can rush in and take me anywhere with you there right…”

“If this goes wrong…” Lexa replied quietly, her back still to Clarke.

“It won’t…” Clarke said, standing up from the chair and walking over to where Lexa was standing.

Lexa nodded a little before she turned to face the blonde girl.

“Not all the representatives will be there,” she said, “some have asked to be excused…”

“Why?” Clarke asked in reply.

“Some are not comfortable being in the same room as Azgeda,” Lexa said with a sigh, “others fear reprisals should the worst happen.”

“Nice to see they have faith in you huh.” Clarke said with a laugh.

“It is not me they lack faith in,” The other girl said with a small laugh of her own, “it is her. She is probably the most feared leader in the coalition.”

“I thought you would be the most feared.” The blonde replied, narrowing her eyes a little.

“In a combat setting yes,” Lexa said with a nod, “they do not want to face my armies, but… I do not take joy in killing, Clarke, Nia does. The longer she can drag it out the better.”

Before Clarke had a chance to reply there was a knock at the door.

“Yes.” Lexa said.

“You wanted to see me.” Octavia said walking into the room.

“I did,” Lexa said, “I want you to remain at Clarke’s side at all times while the Azgeda are here.”

“Wouldn’t that make the sleeping arrangements a little… difficult?” Octavia replied with a smirk.

“You are to be there when I am not.” Lexa said, shaking her head a little at the younger girls comment, “I ask you, because I trust you, please do not make me regret it.”

Octavia nodded a little, Clarke could see her shoulders straighten a little at what Lexa had said, it meant a lot to Octavia that the Commander had asked this of her. Clarke couldn’t help but think back to the time when Lexa had ordered Octavia killed, so much had changed since then.

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get changed.” Lexa said, looking between the two girls before she walked out of the room.

“You okay O?” Clarke asked.

“Yeah,” Octavia replied, with a nod, “just thinking about what’ll happen if I fuck this up.”

“You won’t.” Clarke said with a smile, “we’re good.”

“Good, cause I really don’t wanna get skinned alive… you know.” The younger girl said with an uncomfortable laugh, “I mess this up… you’re the most important thing in the world to her Clarke, I don’t know why she asked me…”

“Because she trusts you,” the blonde girl replied, “she knows you’ve got this.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke stood leaning against the wall, Octavia one side of her, Kassius the other. She looked around the room, she could count almost 40 of Lexa’s most trusted warriors. Amongst them were a few of Clarke’s people, all of them armed. Lexa sat on the raised platform, with Indra to her right and Luna to her left. The representatives who were present were all seated, and from what Clarke could see, all apprehensive. Bellamy stood near the main door to the room. Clarke noticed him look over at Lexa before he nodded.

“Weapons.” He said as the Azgeda soldiers entered the room.

None of them moved to take off their weapons, but turned to look at someone that Clarke couldn’t see, she assumed they were looking to their Queen.

“Is this really necessary?” the woman asked as she walked into the room, her eyes fixed on Lexa.

Clarke swallowed as she finally saw the woman. She was quite a bit older than Lexa, her hair braided back from her face. Clarke could see a scar running from her right eye down her cheek. The blonde could see why everyone was apprehensive. She glanced over to Lexa to see her sitting there, knife in hand, jaw clenched, looking every inch the Heda.

“Yes.” Lexa said, a small smirk covering her lips.

Clarke saw Nia let out a frustrated sigh as she nodded to her soldiers. They all removed their weapons and put them into the large box which was next to the door. As they all looked like they had handed over all weapons Bellamy moved to close the box.

“All of your weapons.” Lexa said calmly, causing Bellamy to stop.

“That is all of the weapons.” Nia said to Lexa, a challenging look in her eyes.

Everyone was now looking at Lexa who nodded a little to Indra. The older woman stood up and started to walk over to the Azgeda group.

“Then you won’t mind if we check.” Lexa said, nodding to Bellamy who pointed his gun at the Ice Nation Queen, as if daring her to move.

A few of Lexa’s warriors checked the soldiers for weapons, finding none they looked to Lexa who was watching Indra, a small smile on her lips. Indra wasted no time in reaching under Nia’s coat and removing a small blade from her back, after dropping it into the box she crouched down and removed the blade from the bottom of Nia’s leg, before turning to Lexa and nodding.

“Now we may begin.” Lexa said.

“You need guns to protect you now Alexandria?” Nia asked as she walked closer to where Lexa was sitting.

Clarke looked at Lexa, she had never heard anyone call her that before. Lexa simply narrowed her eyes as she looked back at the woman.

“No,” Lexa replied, “but a bullet to the head causes less blood to spill, I wouldn’t want to give my people too much mess to clean up.”

Clarke heard Octavia laugh beside her.

“Sorry…” Octavia replied, raising her hand a little in an apology to Lexa.

“I assume you know why you were asked here.” Luna said as she stood up and stepped off the small platform.

“No,” Nia replied, “I assumed it was because our climate is a little cold for some…”

“If you had no idea why you were asked here, why did you come?” Luna asked.

“I prefer to leave my head where it remains,” Nia said, glancing from Luna to Lexa, “the threat of not attending was beheading, was it not?”

“You were asked here to answer a charge of plotting the assassination of Heda.” Luna said, not getting drawn into Nia’s games.

“Assassination?” Nia asked, “why would I risk the alliance between our clans, what do I stand to gain.”

“It was brought to our attention that you were seeking an alliance with the Skaikru.” Luna replied, “which in itself is not against the treaty you signed, but the use of their technology would be.”

“I see that Alexandria already has an alliance with the Skaikru,” Nia said with a smirk, looking around the room, her eyes settling on Clarke, “congratulations, _Heda_ , she’s prettier than the last one.”

“The last one was my sister…” Luna said through gritted teeth, “you do not want to test my patience Nia.”

“Enough!” Lexa said, standing up, her hand automatically going to the handle of her sword, though she did not draw it, “you deny that the child you sent with one of your warriors was here to kill me?”

“Why would I send a child to kill you, if I wanted you dead, I would do it myself.” Nia replied, straightening her shoulders as she looked at Lexa.

“I think we’re all aware of your feelings about me, Nia,” Lexa said, her eyes narrowed as she looked at the older woman, “and your inability to take control of the coalition as you wish to.”

“If I wanted to control the coalition, child, I would.” Nia replied, not doing a very good job at hiding the anger building in her eyes.

“Of course…” Lexa replied with a nod, a smile on her lips.

“You disrespect our Kwin!” one of the Azgeda soldiers called out.

“She disrespects me,” Lexa snapped back, “coming into my city, lying to my face. She does not even have the decency to tell the truth. She may be your Kwin, but she is not the leader of this coalition, I am. She answers to me, you answer to me, every single person in this room answers to me. Now I will ask again, did you or did you not send the child to kill me?”

Nia didn’t answer, she just looked at Lexa, a small smile on her own lips. Before she laughed. Indra stood up, her sword drawn. Lexa raised her hand to stop her. Nia stopped laughing and looked back at Clarke.

“Do you answer to her Sky Princess?” she asked, as she moved to walk towards her.

Octavia drew her blade and stood in front of Clarke.

“One more step, I dare you.” Octavia said to her.

Clarke placed her hand on Octavia’s shoulder to calm her down, it seemed to do the trick as she moved slightly back towards Clarke’s side.

“While I am in this city,” Clarke said looking at Nia, “yes. I do answer to her.”

“And outside of this city?” Nia asked.

“It depends how nicely she asks.” Clarke said with a smirk.

“You’ve got more fire in you than the last one,” Nia said, walking closer to Clarke, “feisty.”

“If I were you, Nia, I would answer Heda’s question,” Clarke said, looking between Nia and Lexa, “because if you don’t, I don’t think you’ll see out the night.”

“You think she’s going to kill me?” Nia asked, amusement in her voice.

“No,” Clarke said, her face completely void of emotion, “but I will.”

“What proof do you have of a plot against you, Heda?” Nia asked, turning away from Clarke and walking back to where she had previously been standing.

Clarke leant herself back against the wall, as she tried to calm her nerves, the woman actually terrified her, she could only hope that she had hid that fact well.

“Breathe…” Kassius said quietly, leaning a little closer to her.

“I have the word of the child you sent.” Lexa replied.

“You believe the word of an 8 year old child over the leader of a clan in your coalition?” Nia asked.

“She didn’t say how old the child was.” Samara said from where she was seated.

“I am obviously going to be aware of how old the child is,” Nia said quickly, “she is of my clan after all.”

“Not originally.” Lexa replied, “why don’t you tell the assembled members which clan she is originally from.”

“I am… unaware of her origins, she came to us as a baby.” Nia said, her eyes now fixed on Lexa.

“You are unaware where your soldiers found a baby which they handed into your care?” Lexa asked, as she started to pace on the small raised platform, “I am aware of every village the orphans in this city come from, I am aware of every battle which caused them to become orphans, any leader would be aware.”

“I do not see how it is any of your concern,” Nia replied, “the battle was before the agreement between our people was signed.”

“So it is a battle that I am aware of,” Lexa said, her head tilted to one side a little as she glanced at Nia, before she continued walking, “she is 8 years old, as we’ve established, if I recall correctly, the battles fought between your people and mine that year were few… Indra, do you recall any battles that year which may have resulted in this child being taken to the Azgeda?”

Clarke couldn’t stop the small smile that was forming on her lips, Lexa had Nia backed into a corner and she knew it.

“There were two battles that year, Heda, which would have taken place around the time of the child’s birth.” Indra replied.

“One was with the Desert Clan,” Lexa said, as she looked at Indra, “the other with…”

“My people.” Luna said from where she was seated on Lexa’s left hand side.

“Samara, to the best of your knowledge, were any children taken from your people during their battle with the Azgeda?” Lexa asked, looking across at the older woman.

“No Heda.” She replied.

Everyone on the council of representatives knew that to be true, Samara remembered everything.

“Luna…” Lexa said, glancing at her friend.

“No Heda.” Luna replied, “the village they attacked was a base for warriors, there were no children there.”

“This proves nothing!” Nia called.

“It proves that you are a liar.” Lexa replied, snapping her head back round to look at the woman, “it proves that nothing you have said here tonight can be believed. It proves that you lied when you declared the battles that you fought with my people…”

Lexa finally stepped off the platform and walked closer to her.

“Which makes our truce and treaty null and void.” She concluded, standing face to face with the woman.

Clarke looked around the room, everyone was focused on the two women. The tension in the room was making her skin crawl.

“Boom…” she heard Raven say from nearby, looking at her Clarke could see that Raven opened her hands as she spoke, like an explosion had just gone off.

“Now,” Lexa said, “as you obviously decided to not inform me of at least one battle against my people, which was part of the treaty agreement, and if you wish for me not to kill you where you stand… you will tell me where the child is from.”

“You already know…” Nia replied, a twisted smile on her face.

Lexa turned from her woman, her hand gripped on the handle of her sword, she took a deep breath to try and calm herself. If she killed her now it would cause everyone in the room to break into a fight that would lead to more deaths.

“You attacked Tondc…” Lexa said, her back still to the woman, “you ordered the killing of every one of my relatives… you kidnapped my sister after taking her from my mother…”

“Your dead mother.” Nia replied.

Luna was up out of her seat before Lexa had a chance to turn around.

“Sis em op.” Luna said, motioning to the guards as she held Lexa back, before whispering, “not like this…”

“Let go.” Lexa said to Luna.

“No.” Luna replied as they watched Nia get restrained by the guards, the smile not falling from her lips.

“You can kill me, but that will not keep anyone you love safe,” Nia said to Lexa, “first it’ll be your precious sister, then the Sky Princess, and you will not be able to stop it.”

Nobody noticed that Clarke had pulled the gun from where she had put it in the back of her jeans, but everyone noticed as she walked over towards Nia.

“Kassius, stop her.” Luna said.

Clarke stopped herself, her muzzle of her gun at Nia’s temple.

“One more word.” Clarke said.

“Do not make it easy for her Clarke,” Indra said, stepping down from the platform, “that is an easy death. She will be begging for the end when it comes.”

Clarke looked at Lexa, the other girl meeting her eyes, Indra’s words sinking in, she shook her head slightly.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke had no idea where Lexa was going, yet she followed her anyway. The Commander led them down a small corridor that ran behind the council meeting room where they had just been. At the end of the corridor was a single door. Both girls paused before opening the door, where they were met by Echo lying on the floor, bleeding profusely from a wound on her stomach.

“No…” Lexa said looking around the room as Clarke moved to help Echo, “where is she?”

“I couldn’t… I couldn’t stop…” Echo said, struggling to breathe.

“You’re going to be okay,” Clarke said to her, taking her jacket off and pushing down on the wound to slow the bleeding.

“What happened?” Lexa demanded as she looked down at Echo.

“I didn’t see… she opened the door and… let them in… I didn’t…” Echo said before losing consciousness.

“Go…” Clarke said, looking up at Lexa, “get Kassius to help me and you find Neva, go!”

Lexa nodded before running from the room and back down the corridor.

“Heda…” Indra said, seeing Lexa run from the corridor.

“They’ve got her…” Lexa said to Indra, “I want every gate to this city sealed, now.”

Indra nodded before running up the stairs to have the warning sounded from the roof. Lexa rushed over to Kassius.

“You need to help Clarke,” she said, motioning to the corridor, “Echo needs to get to the clinic.”

“Heda…” he said, trying to stop her, “Lexa, stop!”

She turned to look at him, he put both hands on her upper arms to hold her in place.

“You need to breathe, you need to think.” He said.

“There’ll be time to think later.” Lexa replied, pulling herself free from his grasp.

As the warning sounded from the roof of the building, Lexa’s warriors poured back in through the doors. They lined up in front of her.

“I want every single building in this city searched, top to bottom.” She said to them, pacing in front of them, “they haven’t had time to get out of the city yet. You are looking for an 8 year old girl called Neva. She has to be here somewhere.”

With a nod in unison they all left the building again to complete the task set to them.

As she watched them leave, Lexa turned her head slowly and looked at the door which lead down to the cells. She narrowed her eyes and opened it, going down the stairs.

She made her way down the corridor, noticing the candles flicker due to a breeze coming from somewhere. Lexa stopped in front of the cell which now housed Nia.

“Missing something Heda?” Nia asked with a smile looking up at her from where she was chained.

“Where is she?” Lexa asked, her jaw clenched.

“How would I know that, I’ve been either in a room with you or down here since I arrived.” Nia replied.

Lexa felt a breeze brushing against her left side. She looked down the corridor to the door which lead to the public execution area.

“No…” she said as she started to run.

“Lexa!” she heard Neva scream.

“You’d better hurry Heda,” Nia called after her, “little children don’t take too long to bleed.”

As Lexa made her way quickly up the stairs she heard a commotion outside. When she got there she saw 10 of her warriors standing around two Azgeda soldiers, one held her sister with a blade to her throat.

“Let her go…” Lexa said walking through a small gap in her warriors.

“Trade,” the man holding Neva said, “our Kwin for the gofa.”

Lexa found herself having to look up at him to meet his eyes, he stood at around 6foot8 tall.

“You and your Kwin would not make it out of my city alive.” Lexa snarled at him, “let her go and I will make your deaths quick.”

He pushed the blade tighter against Neva’s neck.

“A trade, or she bleeds.” He said.

“I thought it was you when they knocked on the door…” Neva said, looking up at Lexa as she struggled, “I’m sorry…”

“You have nothing to be sorry for…” Lexa said, with a small smile.

“What will it be Heda,” the man said, “does she bleed?”

The choices ran through Lexa’s head. As a leader her choice was clear. In the cells she had one of the most feared women in her territory, a woman who had killed and tortured hundreds if not thousands of people, a woman who deserved a very slow and painful death. But in front of her she had her sister, the sister she thought she had lost 8 years before, her family, her blood. A sick feeling rose in her stomach.

“Time is running out…” the man said, pulling the blade tighter against Neva’s throat, tight enough that Lexa could see a small line of red begin to form.

“Wait!” she said.

She lowered her head a little before looking at the warriors around her.

“If they hurt her, kill them.” She said, before looking back at the man, “I will get your Kwin…”

“And we’ll need three horses and safe passage from the city.” The man said with a sick smile.

“You’ll get what you need.” Lexa said, pushing her way back through the circle of her warriors, making her way back to the compound, she entered through the front rather than the cell entrance, “Indra, find Bellamy, get him to the graveyard. I need him on the wall.”

“Heda?” Indra asked.

“They demanded a trade, Neva’s life for Nia’s…” Lexa said, “I’m giving them what they want.”

“Then why…” Indra said.

“He’s going to shoot them as they ride towards the far gate.” Lexa said to Indra before organising three horses.

When she returned to Indra Bellamy was with the older woman.

“What do you need me to do?” he asked.

“I hope you’re as good with that weapon as Clarke believes you are.” Lexa said motioning down to the gun he held, “I need you to kill Nia and her two guards.”

Bellamy nodded once.

“Indra will take you where you need to be, don’t let anyone see you.” Lexa said as she walked back down to the cells.

“Pleasure to see you again Heda.” Nia said with a twisted smile as Lexa unlocked the cell.

“Get up.” Lexa said, grabbing Nia to her feet.

“I told you what would happen…” Nia started to say before Lexa cut her off with a head butt to the face, breaking her nose.

“I will hunt you down,” Lexa said as she held Nia’s coat, keeping the woman upright, “I will kill everyone you have ever known, I will drain every one of your people and then, and only then will I come for you.”

“When will you ever learn, you cannot reach me.” Nia said, through gritted teeth.

“You have killed everyone that I ever cared about,” Lexa replied, “you attacked my village, you killed my parents… you tortured Costia… there is no place on this Earth that you can hide where I won’t find you. Now move.”

Lexa gripped the chains that still held Nia’s hands. The Commander dragged the Queen of the Azgeda up the stairs and out to the public execution area where three horses were already waiting. She pushed through the circle of guards once more and threw Nia to the floor where she pushed her foot onto the woman’s throat.

“Now let her go.” Lexa said looking at the man who still held her sister.

“You think that we’re stupid,” he said, “the kid is coming with us, it’s the only way we’ll get out of your city alive.”

“That wasn’t the deal,” Lexa said, “the deal was your whore and three horses.”

The man pulled the knife tighter against Neva’s throat as Lexa insulted his Kwin, so Lexa put more weight on her foot that was pressing down on Nia’s throat. Only once he stopped with the pressure on the blade did Lexa lift her foot a little.

“You can collect the child at the gate once we get there safely, that’s the deal.” He said.

Lexa considered her options, realising that she didn’t really have any.

“I have an amendment.” She said, “you take Neva, I collect her at the gate, and…”

Lexa pulled her leg back and kicked Nia in the head, knocking her out cold.

“You didn’t say she had to be conscious.” She concluded.

The Commander stepped back as the other Azgeda soldier picked up Nia and took her over to one of the horses. He lay her over the saddle before getting on behind her. The other man, the one who had Neva, carried the young girl to the horse, dragging her onto it with him as he climbed up. Lexa could do nothing but stand and watch as they rode towards the far gate. She had known they would choose that gate as it was the closest to where they were, and the area behind the compound was the least populated area in Polis.

“Heda…” one of her warriors said.

“Follow them.” She said, as she ran towards the graveyard where she hoped Bellamy would already be waiting.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

As Lexa finally caught sight of the graveyard she heard three shots ring out, followed by Neva screaming. She ran faster than she ever thought possible. The sight that met her stopped her in her tracks. Bellamy looked up at her from the floor where he was sitting with Neva, who was bleeding from a gunshot wound to her shoulder. Laying not too far away were the bodies of the two guards. One shot straight through the head, the other shot through the chest. She also saw Nia, who was still moving, she was bleeding from a gunshot wound to her leg.

“The horse…” Bellamy said as Lexa got to him, “it reared with the first shot. She struggled, the guy lifted her… I didn’t mean… I am so sorry… the shot went through her shoulder and through his chest…”

Lexa didn’t say anything, she didn’t trust her voice, she just crouched down near her sister and examined the wound to her shoulder. It was straight through, a clean shot, it would heal.

“You’re going to be okay…” Lexa said to Neva, before she looked at Bellamy, “is she…”

“I got her in the leg,” Bellamy said, “figured that you owed her some pain.”

The warriors arrived as Lexa picked Neva up, she looked to them.

“Get her back to the cells,” she said motioning to Nia, “make sure she doesn’t bleed to death, nothing else.”

Two of the warriors nodded to her before going over to Nia.

“Lexa…” Bellamy said as he stood up.

“We need to get her to the clinic…” Lexa said, “to Clarke…”

Bellamy nodded, knowing enough not to push it anymore with Lexa.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke stood by the doorway of the clinic as Abby walked over to her.

“You did good…” Abby said, putting her arm around Clarke’s shoulder’s and pulling her closer before kissing her on the head.

Clarke didn’t pull back, she rested her head on her mom’s shoulder and kept her eyes fixed on Lexa. The Commander was sitting next to the bed Neva was sleeping in, her hands wrapped around one of the hands of the young girl. In the bed across from Neva, Echo was recovering from the surgery that Abby had done to save her life. Bellamy was sitting next to her bed.

“It’s been a rough night,” Abby said quietly, “why don’t you go and get some sleep.”

Clarke shook her head a little but didn’t say anything.

“She’s going to be okay right…” Clarke said, motioning to Neva, “if she…”

“She’s going to be fine,” Abby replied, “she’ll be up and running around in a couple of days, maybe even tomorrow if she’s as stubborn as her big sister.”

“Good, because she would kill Bellamy if…” Clarke said.

“I wouldn’t kill him…” Lexa said without turning around, “he did what I asked of him.”

“And what about Nia?” Clarke asked.

“She’s already dead,” Lexa replied, “she just doesn’t know it yet.”


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a lighter chapter after the last one. There's funny bits, mostly at Clarke's expense. Clarke starts to over-think things. Let me know what you think. (Again if the notes at the end are still there, ignore them, it's been 84 years...)

 

Clarke felt herself starting to wake up as she heard hushed voices, keeping her eyes closed she could tell it was Lexa, Indra and Kassius. They were obviously talking in hushed tones so not to wake her, so she kept her eyes closed as they continued.

“How many were killed over night?” Lexa asked.

“15,” Kassius replied, “we know there were 20 with her, which means 5 are still within the city, and we do not know how many entered which we are not aware of.”

“So 15 of her guard are dead, but we do not know how many Azgeda remain in Polis.” Lexa said with a sigh.

“Rohan is asking for political refuge.” Indra said, “if you wish to forge an alliance with whomever replaces Nia, I would suggest he stay here.”

“I agree.” Lexa said, “he has spent the last 4 years living here in Polis, his family are here, his youngest daughter was born here… I cannot send them back to a place they no longer know.”

“Should I arrange a change in his accommodations?” Kassius asked.

“No,” Lexa replied, “but make sure his house is searched, preferably when his children are at school.”

“Sha, Heda.” Kassius said.

Clarke heard two people leaving, she assumed it was Indra and Kassius.

“You can open your eyes now Clarke,” Lexa said, a small smile on her lips, “they’ve gone.”

“How did you know I was awake?” Clarke asked as she opened her eyes and looked at Lexa.

“Your breathing changed…” the other girl replied, “do you believe I did the right thing?”

Clarke sighed and sat up in the small bed, looking around the clinic to see that both Neva and Echo were still sleeping.

“With Rohan?” Clarke asked as Lexa sat on the edge of the bed, the other girl nodding slightly, “I do. I mean you trust him right?”

“As much as I can trust anyone who is Azgeda…” Lexa replied with a sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose a little.

“Are you okay?” Clarke asked, moving closer to Lexa, one hand resting on the other girl’s waist as she put her chin on Lexa’s shoulder.

“I’m tired,” Lexa said, resting her weight back against Clarke a little, “I didn’t sleep…”

“Why not?” The blonde asked quietly.

“I knew that not all of Nia’s soldiers had been apprehended,” the brunette replied, “I needed to ensure that you and Neva were safe here…”

“How is Neva?” Clarke asked looking over to the young girl.

“Comfortable,” Lexa replied, “your mother assures me that she’ll be fine. The bullet passed straight through, there should be no lasting damage. Bellamy did well…”

“You sound surprised.” The blonde said with a laugh.

“I do not like guns…” Lexa said, turning her head slightly as she looked at Clarke, “I also do not like having to rely on someone who has no loyalty to me…”

“He’s a good guy,” Clarke replied, “he’s loyal to me…”

“Yet he still does not trust me.” The brunette said.

“No,” Clarke admitted, “he doesn’t. But he knows that I do, and that little chat you had with him at the feast made him trust you a little more than he did… Plus, as you said, he did as you asked him to.”

“Yes he did.” Lexa said with a nod as she moved to stand up.

“Going somewhere?” Clarke asked, her head tilted slightly to one side.

“Your mother is coming.” Lexa replied with a small smile, “she still does not approve of our relationship.”

“She’s my mother,” Clarke said with a laugh, “she doesn’t really approve of any relationship that I have, it’s kind of her job.”

“Has there been many?” Lexa asked, her eyebrow arched slightly and a smile tugging at the corners of her lips.

“Not many…” Clarke replied, feeling herself blush slightly. “a couple…”

“A couple of what?” Abby asked as she walked into the clinic.

“Clarke was just telling me how many relationships she has been in.” Lexa replied honestly.

“There was Wells…” Abby said as she checked Neva’s bandages.

“We were 5, that doesn’t count.” Clarke said as she stood up from the bed.

“Then there was that girl you had a thing with at school when you were 13…” Abby replied.

“Amelia…” Clarke said with a smile, “and I wouldn’t really call it a thing.”

“Your father was called away from work to collect you after you were caught in the supply room.” The doctor said, turning to face Clarke with a smile.

“It was very innocent…” Clarke said with a blush as she felt Lexa look at her.

“Who else?” Abby asked, finding herself amused at how uncomfortable Clarke was.

“Finn…” Clarke replied, “but I wouldn’t say that was a relationship, more like one night… He was still with Raven after all…”

“So Finn was your first?” Lexa asked.

“I didn’t say that…” Clarke said with a laugh, “enough with the questions, unless of course you’re willing to name all your relationships.”

“There has only been one,” Lexa said, “Costia. Anyone else certainly did not count as a relationship.”

“How many someone else’s’?” Clarke asked, narrowing her eyes a little.

“Since the time I met you…” Lexa said, stepping closer to Clarke, “none.”

“Parent still in the room.” Abby said with a small laugh as she looked at Clarke and Lexa.

“You pretty much started it.” Clarke said to Abby with a laugh of her own, “but seriously though, how many before we met?”

Lexa crossed her arms across her chest, furrowing her brow slightly as she looked up a little, obviously thinking.

“Five…” she said, “no, seven.”

“Seven?” Clarke asked.

“For someone in my position, at my age, that is a low number.” Lexa said with a small laugh.

“I’m wondering about the jump from five to seven.” Abby said curiously as she looked at Lexa.

“It was an… entertaining evening.” Lexa replied with a small smirk as Abby laughed, unable to stop herself.

“And suddenly I’m feeling very inexperienced.” Clarke said, knowing that she was blushing.

“That isn’t a bad thing…” Lexa said.

“I need to go and get breakfast…” Clarke replied as she turned and walked from the clinic.

“Clarke…” Lexa called after her.

“Give her a little time,” Abby said with a small smile, “she’ll be fine.”

“She did ask,” The brunette said with a sigh, “would it have been better if I had lied?”

“No,” Abby replied shaking her head, “that would have made it worse.”

“Our culture is very different to yours,” Lexa said, “we do not view intimacy as a negative thing, especially not with our warriors, it’s actually… encouraged to an extent.”

“It’s a way to let off steam,” Abby said with a small nod of understanding, “stress relief. Were you telling the truth when you said there has been no one since you met Clarke?”

“Yes,” Lexa replied, “though Indra did attempt to match me up a few times, I was never interested. I care a great deal for your daughter, Abby.”

“I am starting to see that.” Abby said with a small smile.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was sitting in the breakfast room, pushing bits of food around her plate. She didn’t hear Raven or Bellamy enter the room, not realising they were there until they sat down either side of her.

“Something on your mind there Princess?” Raven asked, nudging her shoulder a little.

“Lexa…” Clarke grumbled.

“What’s she done now?” Bellamy asked with a laugh.

“Nothing,” Clarke said with a shrug, “I asked a question, she answered it. I’m now realising that maybe I didn’t want to know the answer.”

“What were you talking about?” Bellamy asked, looking from Clarke to Raven.

“We were talking about past relationships,” Clarke said, “my mother was even joining in, I know it shouldn’t bother me…”

“How many are we talking about?” Raven asked, “I mean, from your reaction I’m guessing it was a lot, which for someone like Lexa is understandable. Warriors need to… blow off steam and shit.”

“It’s not the number that bothered me…” Clarke replied, “though she’s obviously slept with more people than I have…”

“So what is it that’s bothering you?” The other girl asked.

“Two in one night…” Clarke replied quietly.

“Nice one Lexa.” Raven said with a laugh, before catching Clarke’s eye, “I mean…”

“Why is that bothering you?” Bellamy asked.

“I don’t know…” Clarke said with a sigh, pushing her plate away from her, “I just… I guess it would make everything else boring…”

“Not necessarily,” Bellamy replied, “you two have… you know… right?”

“Yeah…” Clarke said, lowering her head a little, “night before last…”

“Did she seem bored?” he asked.

“No…” Clarke replied, her cheeks burning as she remembered the night she had spent with Lexa.

“She cares about you Clarke,” Raven said, “a lot. Sure it’s fun sometimes to play around with other things, experiment and shit, but from my own experience, it always means more when it actually means something.”

“Says the girl who uses sex as a defence mechanism.” Bellamy said with a small laugh.

“Which means that I should know what I’m talking about,” Raven replied, throwing some food from Clarke’s plate at Bellamy’s head, “and I didn’t hear you complaining Blake.”

“You two…” Clarke said looking between them.

“Long time ago,” Raven said, “drop ship, onetime thing.”

“Three times…” Bellamy said.

“The point is,” Raven continued, clearing her throat a little, “it always means more when the person you’re with means something to you. Lexa doesn’t care if you’ve been with 3 people or 30 people, she doesn’t care if you’ve been with two people at once or not… she cares about you, Clarke, and that means everything.”

“What are we talking about?” Octavia asked as she walked into the room.

“Sex.” Raven replied.

“Did you know that your brother and Raven…” Clarke started to say.

Octavia put her fingers in her ears.

“Can’t hear you, la la la la la…” she said as she turned and left the room.

“Seriously Princess, she’s crazy about you.” Raven said as everyone finished laughing at Octavia’s reaction.

Clarke let out a sigh but didn’t say anything else. Not long afterwards Bellamy and Raven left the room, leaving her again to her thoughts. She had been the one who asked Lexa, she didn’t expect the answer to affect her, why should it. Clarke knew that Lexa’s people took a different view of sex than the Sky People did. She also knew that Lexa had been telling the truth about there being no one since she met Clarke, she’d overheard Luna and Lexa talking about it days before. While she was thinking, she found herself feeling tired, she hadn’t slept much the night before, no more than a few hours on the small bed in the clinic. She didn’t even remember how she got there.

The blonde decided to go up to her room, get another couple of hours sleep, hoping it would clear her mind and stop her worrying about something that she had no hope in changing.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As Lexa made her way upstairs, hoping to get some sleep, she couldn’t help but think about what had happened the previous night. She had planned everything perfectly. Getting Neva to go with Echo had been the safest thing to do, the room she had told Echo to take her to was the small room in which she kept all the Old World technology. Nobody, other than Raven, had known what the room was used for. Nobody had known that is where she had told Echo to take Neva. Lexa kept going over and over in her head how the Azgeda could have found her. Perhaps someone had seen them, maybe someone had overheard Lexa’s conversation with Echo earlier in the day. Something didn’t add up.

All the gates of Polis had been closed since Neva had been taken, something which only happened when there was a serious threat. Lexa hated closing the gates, forcing her people to remain within the walls of the city. But it had been the only thing she could think of doing. They would remain closed until she was sure that the Azgeda threat was gone, once all Nia’s soldiers were taken care of she would have them opened again. Only once she was sure that all the soldiers were gone would she move forward with Nia’s execution, the threat to the people Lexa cared about was too great to do it before then.

Reaching the third floor of the compound Lexa stopped. The building itself was pretty quiet, her people going about their business with little too no noise. She could hear noises coming from Clarke’s room. Making her way along the corridor the noises got louder. Clarke sounded like she was in pain. Panic flooded through Lexa as her feet picked up their pace.

The door to Clarke’s room was open. As she entered the room she saw Clarke laying on the bed, obviously having decided she needed more sleep but not actually getting into the bed. Narrowing her eyes, Lexa looked around the room, the balcony doors were open but there was nothing out of the ordinary.

“No…” Clarke mumbled in her sleep, “stop…”

Lexa made her way over to Clarke’s bed, the blonde girl was having a nightmare. She’d had no trouble sleeping since she had been in Polis, and Lexa hadn’t witnessed her having a nightmare the nights they had spent together.

“Clarke…” she said softly, climbing onto the bed next to the blonde, “Clarke…”

She put her arm on the blonde’s shoulder, hoping to wake her up. Lexa nearly jumped back off the bed as Clarke woke up quickly, turning to face her, gun in hand.

“Shit…” Clarke said, taking a few deep breaths as she tried to calm herself down.

“You were having a nightmare…” Lexa said, eyes a little wide as she looked down at the gun which Clarke still had pointed at her, “do you want to put that down?”

“Sorry…” Clarke said, putting the gun back on the small table next to the bed.

Clarke moved so she was laying on her back, looking up at the ceiling she continued to take deep breaths.

“Is there anything you would like to talk about?” Lexa asked, “other than you sleeping with a gun next to you…”

“I remembered what you, Indra and Kassius had been talking about this morning, about the Azgeda soldiers still in the city,” Clarke replied quietly, still looking up at the ceiling, “figured that it would be safer to have it nearby… I’m sorry about… you know, pointing it at you.”

“I should not have woken you like that,” Lexa said with a small smile, “but like I said, you were having a nightmare…”

“It was about that night on the Mountain…” The blonde said quietly, “when you walked away…”

Lexa nodded a little, not saying anything as she sat with her back against the headboard.

“It felt so real…” Clarke said, her voice shaking a little.

“It wasn’t.” Lexa replied simply.

“I know that now,” Clarke said, turning her head a little so she was looking at Lexa, “but it’s difficult to know what’s real or not when you’re asleep. Have you ever had nightmares?”

“Yes,” Lexa said with a nod, “more than a few, for more nights than I can remember. I have lost count of the amount of times I’ve woken in the night to find that the events in my head are not in fact real… I thought you were sleeping better, that the nightmares had gone.”

“Yeah…” Clarke said, “I was… when I get apprehensive about something, over-thinking things… worrying about things, I have nightmares. It’s happened since the Ark. Back then it was replaying over and over again the moment my dad got sucked out of the airlock, haven’t had that one in a while, guess I’ve got new fears now…”

“What are you worrying about?” Lexa asked as she softly started to run her fingers through Clarke’s hair.

“You’ll think it’s stupid…” Clarke replied her eyes closing as a feeling of calm washed over her as she felt Lexa’s fingers in her hair.

“Try me.” Lexa said.

“You leaving… again…” Clarke said, swallowing hard, “you getting bored and realising that I’m really not the one you want to be with…”

“Is this about what we talked about earlier in the clinic?” Lexa asked, trying to keep the amusement from her voice as she knew this wasn’t funny to Clarke.

“Told you that you’d think it was stupid…” Clarke grumbled, moving to get off the bed.

Lexa reached out and grabbed Clarke’s wrist, pulling her back softly.

“Clarke,” she said, “I would never find you boring. I want to be with you, not for what you’ve done or how many people you may or may not have spent the night with, I want to be with you for you. As you are. Nothing more, nothing less.”

The sincerity she found in Lexa’s eyes made the breath catch in her throat.

“How do you always know the right thing to say…?” Clarke asked, resting her forehead against Lexa’s as she closed her eyes.

“I don’t,” Lexa replied with a small laugh, “I am usually very bad at saying what I feel, but with you I just cannot seem to help it.”

Clarke slowly closed the distance between their lips, softly kissing Lexa as she moved so her knees were either side of Lexa’s legs. The other girls hands travelled to Clarkes hips as she ran her tongue over the blondes lower lip. Clarke felt like her head was spinning as she granted Lexa the entrance she wanted and deepened the kiss. Just as things were starting the heat up a little they heard someone clear their throat from the doorway. Clarke groaned a little as she backed out of the kiss and turned to see who was at the door.

Raven was standing there with Neva in front of her, the older girls hands covering the younger girls eyes.

“Doors were made for a reason.” Raven said with a small smirk.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The afternoon drifted into evening and the daylight started to fade. Clarke, Lexa and Neva were sitting on Clarke’s bed. The blonde cuddled up to Lexa’s right side, Neva to her left. The Commander was again teaching the younger girl to read.

“Is Queen Nia dead?” Neva asked quietly, looking up at Lexa.

“No…” Lexa replied, “not yet.”

“What’s going to happen to her?” the younger girl asked.

“I don’t know,” Lexa said with a sigh, “it is up to the council to decide.”

“You’re really going to let them decide?” Clarke asked quietly as she felt a shiver run through her body.

“The outcome has already been decided,” the other girl replied, tightening her arm around Clarke a little, “the only thing to decide is how to carry out the punishment.”

“There’s more than one way?” the blonde asked.

“There are many ways,” Lexa said with a slight nod, “Indra is hoping for something slow and painful, possibly poison that burns away at her insides, making her bleed internally until she dies. It’s extremely painful.”

“And probably not the thing to talk about with an 8 year old kid in the room…” Clarke said with a soft smile, “I do not want to deal with those nightmares.”

“When she’s dead are you going to burn her?” Neva asked, “Octavia said that’s what happens…”

“That is done as a mark of respect,” Lexa replied, “she deserves no such respect. I may return her head to her people and then leave her body for the animals to take.”

“Lexa…” Clarke said quietly.

“Very well…” Lexa replied with a sigh, “shall we change the subject.”

“When are you two going to get…” Neva scrunched her nose up as she thought of the right word, “Raven told me it… married.”

“I am going to kill Raven…” Clarke mumbled as she buried her head in Lexa’s shoulder.

“You do not want to marry me, Clarke of the Sky People?” Lexa asked, her voice filled with amusement.

“Not helping Lexa…” the blonde grumbled, causing Lexa to laugh.

“These things take time Neva.” Lexa said to her younger sister, “maybe Clarke will not want to spend the rest of her life with me, maybe she will find a handsome man and run away one day.”

Neva screwed up her face.

“What?” Lexa asked.

“Boys.” Neva replied, scrunching her face up again, causing both Clarke and Lexa to laugh.

“Definitely your sister.” Clarke said as she laughed.

Not long afterwards Neva had fallen asleep, Lexa was reading aloud from the book she had, an old storybook about witches and dragons, Clarke had her head rested against Lexa’s shoulder as she listened. Storytime was interrupted by a knock at the door.

“Sorry to interrupt Heda,” Indra said, “the prisoner is asking to speak to you.”

“So she’s awake?” Lexa asked with a sigh as she closed the book, “very well.”

Clarke moved so Lexa could stand up. The Commander placed the book on the table next to the bed while Clarke pulled the covers back and put Neva in the bed properly.

“I’m coming with you.” Clarke said to Lexa.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea, Clarke.” Lexa replied, “I doubt she wishes to talk about the weather.”

“It wasn’t a request.” The blonde said, causing Indra to roll her eyes as she walked from the room.

“I already have an idea about what she wants to talk to me about, and I would rather you were not there…” Lexa said, “it is not going to be pleasant.”

“She’s going to tell you what she did to Costia,” Clarke said, “that’s obvious. But you don’t have to listen to her you know, you can just walk away and leave her there, not like she can do much about it.”

“Part of me needs to hear it.” The Commander said with a sigh, “though I know most of it will not be the truth.”

“Okay…” Clarke replied with a nod.

“I would appreciate it if you would stay here with Neva,” Lexa said, “that way I know that Octavia and Raven are not teaching her anything that they shouldn’t.”

Clarke couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped her. Lexa softly kissed Clarke on the forehead.

“I will be back soon…” she said.

Clarke let out a sigh as she watched Lexa walk from the room, she knew that Nia was going to say a lot of things that would make Lexa angry, hoping to force the Commander to kill her quickly out of anger. But Clarke knew that Lexa was stronger than that.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter than usual, and I'm not sure what I think of it. Don't forget to review or whatever, let me know what you think (reviews feed the muse). Also remember the notes at the end, IF they're still there, pay no attention to them, still can't get them to go away.

 

 

“Are you sure about this Heda?” Indra asked as she and Lexa stood near the door which lead down to the cells, “you know that she isn’t going to tell you anything that you don’t already know, and what she does tell you is not going to be the truth.”

“I know,” Lexa replied with a sigh, “I am aware what her intentions with this are, she wants nothing more than for me to kill her out of anger. She knows her death will not be quick when it comes…”

Lexa unclipped the holster for her sword, leaning it next to the door. She took out her knives as well, leaving them on the chair which stood near the wall.

“You are going unarmed?” Indra asked.

“I can’t run her through with my sword if I do not have it with me.” Lexa said with a small smile.

Taking a deep breath, Lexa opened the door and walked down the stairs, she knew Indra was walking behind her, the older woman wasn’t going to let Lexa go through this on her own. As she walked up to the cell she glanced at Indra, who nodded a little in return.

“I understand you wanted to talk to me.” Lexa said calmly as she looked at Nia who was sitting on the floor.

Nia moved to stand up as she saw Lexa, pushing herself away from the wall, favouring the leg which she hadn’t been shot in. Lexa could see that the wound was healing well, part of her was disappointed.

“How long are you going to drag this out Alexandria?” Nia asked, walking closer to the bars of the cell, though the chain around her ankle stopped her from getting too close, “we both know that this is going to end in my death, so why not just get it over with.”

“The council have yet to decide on your means of execution,” Lexa replied, “only once they do will you find out when it is taking place.”

“That has got to annoy you,” the other woman said with a small smile, “you can’t even decide how to kill me yourself.”

“It is not up to me,” Lexa said, knowing that Nia was trying to provoke her, “but I do know whatever they decide will be fair and just. I also know that I am the one who will be carrying it out, that is enough for me.”

“Is it?” Nia asked with a smirk, “I am responsible for all the pain you feel, every person you loved who was taken from you, I am responsible for that. Your parents, your relatives in Tondc. I raised your sister for the first 8 years of her life, and I taught her every day to hate you. Do you know what I enjoyed the most, hearing Costia beg for her life. All she had to do was tell me what I wanted to know, but she didn’t. Right up until the end she kept your secrets. She believed that you would come for her, that you would save her. But you didn’t, you left her there to die, her blood is on your hands.”

Lexa didn’t say anything, she clenched her jaw and gripped her hands behind her back.

“I was going to return her body to you, as well as her head, but there was too much damage,” Nia continued, “we tried to put her body over the horse, but it was falling apart…”

Lexa swallowed as she felt a sick feeling rise from the pit of her stomach.

“So her body was just left where it fell,” the other woman said, “her mother came to me after she was taken, she travelled to beg for her daughter’s life. She couldn’t understand why you let it happen. You just let people march into your city and take her.”

“I wasn’t here…” Lexa replied, “if I had been…”

“You would have stopped it?” Nia asked with a laugh, “You couldn’t have stopped it. My warriors walked into this very building and took her, from your private room I believe. Everyone who attempted to stop them leaving was cut down…”

Lexa’s mind took her back to the night she had arrived back in Polis. As soon as she had stepped through the doors of the compound she could smell death. The first body had fallen near the doors, there had been blood everywhere. As she had run up the stairs she’d had to step over more bodies. Everyone in the building had been slaughtered as Costia had been taken.

“You left her here because you believed that she would be safe,” Nia said, “you believed that nothing would happen to her. You were wrong. You couldn’t protect her, you couldn’t keep her safe. All those nights you had promised her that you would stay with her, and you couldn’t.”

“Are you finished?” Lexa asked, her voice shaking as she attempted to block out what Nia had said.

“Do you really think you can protect Clarke?” the other woman asked, “Do you really believe that she will want to stay with you when she realises who you really are? You’re a monster, Alexandria. We are not so different, you and I.”

“I am nothing like you.” Lexa replied.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke had left Neva sleeping, she couldn’t stop thinking about what Nia was talking to Lexa about. She knew that the woman would be trying to provoke Lexa, to get her to kill her, but she also knew it wouldn’t work. As much as she knew that, she also knew that Nia’s words would cut through Lexa, they would hurt.

She made her way down the corridor to Raven’s room, she had been thinking about the drone and a possible way to send it back to A.l.I.E. Raven’s door was open and she was sitting on the floor, bit and pieces of metal and electronics surrounding her. Clarke couldn’t help but think that Raven was in her element.

“Having fun Raven?” Clarke asked as she walked into the room.

“You know it Princess,” Raven said, smiling as she looked up at Clarke, “how’s the squirt? Permanently scarred from your PDA’s with Lexa?”

“She’s asleep,” Clarke said with a laugh, “I think she’ll be scarred more because of what Lexa was talking about… poisoning the Ice Nation Queen, her insides burning as she bleeds to death internally…”

“Great bedtime story,” Raven said shaking her head, “that girl needs a lesson in kids. So, what can I do for you?”

“I had an idea earlier,” Clarke said, sitting down near Raven, “can we send the drone back?”

“Yeah,” Raven replied with a nod, “it’d be simple enough, why?”

“What if we fitted it with an EMP…” Clarke said, “I mean, an EMP would take out all the electronics right?”

“If the blast radius was big enough, yes,” Raven said with a nod, “though it would need to be remote detonated. We couldn’t just send it back with the EMP on a timed detonation, because we have no idea how long it would take to reach the A.I, I could take a guess based on the data I got from the drone but I can’t get it down to the second. Plus I don’t think an EMP is going to be enough to take out the A.I. It could take out the main power, but there’ll be a back-up…”

“Is there any way you can remote detonate it from here?” Clarke asked.

“If I can get a radio transmitter high enough with a powerful signal, I don’t see why not,” Raven replied, “but I don’t think Lexa is going to like me setting up a radio tower on the roof.”

Clarke laughed a little.

“Yeah, probably not.” She replied.

“There may be a way of doing it without following the thing all the way back,” Raven said with a nod, “just let me think about it, I’ll figure it out.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The city had fallen silent as the night closed in, Lexa stood on the balcony over-looking the buildings. She could see lights inside the buildings the Sky People were staying in, she could also see two guards posted outside each of the 5 buildings. Kassius had told her that 3 of the 5 remaining Azgeda soldiers had been killed, which left 2 unaccounted for. Most properties in the city had been searched, but her men had found nothing. Taking another drink from the bottle in her hand she sighed. Nia’s words were running around and around in her head. The Commander couldn’t help but think about everyone who had died by her sword, or because she demanded it. She had tortured people for information, both personally and by ordering others to do it. Maybe she was no better than Nia.

The major difference that Lexa could find between them was that she took no pleasure from torturing people, Nia seemed to actually enjoy it. Nia had also told Lexa that Neva had been present when Costia had been tortured and killed. Lexa had no idea what else Neva had seen while with the Azgeda, what images were burned into her mind. She had gone to Clarke’s room after she had finished talking to Nia, the blonde girl wasn’t there, but Neva was fast asleep in the bed, Kassius was standing outside the door as Clarke had asked him to. Clarke herself was in Lexa’s bed, also fast asleep. Lexa hadn’t stayed in her room for long, though she knew if she had she could’ve spent the entire night watching the blonde sleep.

“Heda…” Kassius said from the doorway, “is everything okay?”

Lexa turned and looked at him before turning her attention back to the city. Kassius walked out onto the balcony and stood next to her.

“Indra mentioned that you spoke to Nia.” He said.

“She spoke,” Lexa replied, taking another drink from the bottle, “I listened.”

“You have to remember that most of what she said is lies, Heda.” Kassius said with a sigh.

“She told me that Costia begged for her life,” Lexa said, clenching her jaw, “that she believed that I would save her…”

“That wasn’t your choice…” he said, trying to reassure her.

“I could have taken the army anyway,” she replied, “I could have gone alone, I could have done something… anything…”

“And if you had gone alone, you would have died, the coalition would have fallen apart and Nia would have got what she wanted.” Kassius said.

“Maybe that’s what I deserve…” Lexa said quietly.

“You don’t mean that.” Kassius said, looking at her. “Your people need you, your sister needs you… Clarke needs you.”

“Sometimes I think people would be better off without me,” she said, shaking her head a little, “everyone I care about ends up dead. No matter how hard I try to protect them, no matter how hard I try not to care… they end up dead, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it. When does it end…”

“When you put your sword through her heart, Lexa, that’s when it ends.” He replied.

“Then what…” Lexa said, “it still isn’t over. There’s the Artificial Intelligence to deal with, the nuclear warhead… there’s always something else.”

“One day,” he said, reaching to take the bottle from her, “one day it will end. One day we will all have peace, and that will be down to you.”

Lexa didn’t put up a fight as Kassius took the bottle from her, knowing that getting drunk wasn’t going to help.

“It isn’t going to be down to me,” she replied with a sigh, “it will be down to Clarke. She is the one who believes peace is possible…”

“Why do you believe it is not?” he asked.

“Because I am no longer a child,” Lexa said, shaking her head as she walked towards the door, “I know how the world works Kassius, peace is not something I will ever be alive to see.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was still asleep as Lexa returned to the room. Lexa quietly took off her jacket and her armour, before sitting on the bed next to where the blonde was sleeping. With her back resting on the headboard and her legs stretched out in front of her she sat watching Clarke sleep. Lexa softly started running her fingers through Clarke’s hair. Hair that reminded her of sunlight. The blonde mumbled in her sleep, causing Lexa to stop what she was doing. With a sigh Lexa decided to lay down properly on the bed, knowing that she probably wasn’t going to be able to sleep, but realising that she should get comfortable on the bed as it was going to be a long night. As she lay down, Clarke moved closer to her in her sleep, wrapping her arm across Lexa’s waist and resting her head on her shoulder.

“How did it go?” Clarke asked sleepily.

“Did I wake you?” Lexa asked in reply.

“No…” Clarke said, kissing Lexa’s neck softly.

“It went as well as can be expected.” Lexa said.

“Have you been drinking?” Clarke asked, moving slightly so she could look at Lexa.

“Is that a problem?” Lexa asked in reply looking at Clarke.

“No, it’s just… you don’t really drink…” the blonde replied with a small sigh as she lay her head back on Lexa’s shoulder.

“I just wanted something to take my mind off everything…” Lexa said.

“You could’ve talked to me about it.” Clarke said, tightening her grip around Lexa’s waist.

“You were asleep…” The brunette replied, as if that was answer enough.

“You could have woken me.” Clarke said.

“You were asleep,” Lexa repeated, “I would never wake you to discuss something like that.”

“Why not?” she asked.

“Because it was my issue, not yours.” The brunette said.

“Your issues are my issues, Lexa.” Clarke said with a sigh, “that’s kinda what being in a relationship is.”

“It would not be right to burden you with my issues Clarke,” Lexa replied, “I am used to dealing with them alone.”

“But you don’t have to,” the blonde replied, cuddling back up to Lexa, “you know that right.”

Instead of answering Lexa softly kissed Clarke’s head. It wasn’t long afterwards that Clarke’s breathing once again evened out as she fell back to sleep.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nia finally meets her end, but not before yet another reminder to Lexa that she cannot protect those closest to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So difficult to write this part, and sorry it took so long to update, my muse is being a pain in the butt.

 

The sun was just starting to come up when Clarke woke up, as she opened her eyes she saw that Lexa was asleep. The blonde propped herself up on her elbow and softly brushed Lexa’s hair from her face. It always made Clarke’s heart hurt a little how peaceful the brunette looked as she slept, like all the worries and responsibilities that Lexa had during the day were all washed away. Her first few months on the ground had been difficult, she’d done things that she never imagined that she would ever have to do, things that she knew she would do again if she had to. She couldn’t begin to imagine how tough Lexa’s life had been.

While she was watching Lexa sleep she felt something burning in her chest. It didn’t take her long to pinpoint exactly what that feeling was. Slowly and quietly she got out of bed and got dressed. She picked up her gun and checked that it was loaded before she took another look back at Lexa.

Clarke slowly opened the bedroom door and looked out into the hallway, checking to see if Kassius or anyone else was there. Once she saw that the hallways was empty she stepped out of the room, closing the door softly behind her. Making her way down the stairs she stopped on the third landing, all the doors were closed, everyone was still asleep. As she got to the bottom of the stairs she walked towards the door which lead down to the cells.

“Going somewhere Sky Girl?” Luna asked, walking slowly down the stairs, her eyes fixed on Clarke and the gun which the blonde girl held in her hand.

Clarke didn’t say anything, she just turned and looked at Luna as the other woman walked over to her.

“You need to think about what you’re about to do here, Clarke.” Luna said as she stopped in front of Clarke, “think about what this is going to mean, there will be consequences.”

“I was…” Clarke started to say, “I need…”

“I get it, I do,” Luna said with a nod. “You think I haven’t thought about going down there myself. She tortured and killed my little sister. There is nothing that I wouldn’t give to be able to go down there, but I won’t. I can’t.”

“She has destroyed so many people…” Clarke replied, “Lexa’s sleeping upstairs, and it’s like she doesn’t have a care in the world. That… thing down there took everyone and everything she loved away from her. She needs to pay for that.”

Luna nodded a little, not disagreeing with what Clarke said.

“There is one thing that Nia didn’t take from Lexa,” Luna said with a sigh, “you. If you do this, then she will. If you kill her, Clarke, if you take away the decision of the council… Lexa is broken, and yes, Nia is to blame for that. But she isn’t totally destroyed. You do this, all that will change.”

Clarke didn’t reply, she just clenched her jaw as she looked down at the gun in her hand.

“The choice is yours, Clarke,” Luna said with a soft smile, “I’m hoping you’ll make the right one.”

With that Luna turned and walked back up the stairs. Clarke closed her eyes for a couple of seconds and sighed before she turned around, opened the door and walked down the stairs. She walked towards the cell which Nia was in, the Azgeda Queen was laying on the uncomfortable looking bed, sleeping. As she stood there watching her, Clarke clenched her jaw before she hit her gun on the bars.

“Wake up.” She said.

Nia slowly lifted her head and looked at Clarke, tilting her head slightly as she sat up, never taking her eyes off the blonde.

“Isn’t this a surprise.” She said with a twisted smile as she stood up, “is there something I can do for you?”

“I want to know why…” Clarke replied.

“Why what?” Nia asked, stepping closer to the bars.

“Why you are the way you are,” the blonde said, “why you decided that it was a good idea to kill everyone that Lexa ever loved. Why you tried to destroy her.”

Nia nodded a little.

“That’s a fair question,” she said, “though I don’t have an answer for you, because there isn’t one which I think you would find satisfactory. I would tell you that it wasn’t anything personal, but it became very much personal. She had something that I wanted, she still does. Leaders have tried and failed, many times over, to unite the 12 clans. Alexandria did that. People would never have followed me, but if I had killed her they would have no choice. It was war. As for why I am the way I am, this is who I have to be.”

Clarke just looked at her, not saying anything.

“She is not the person you think she is, Clarke,” Nia continued, “you have her painted as this stabilising force. She is destructive. Do you truly believe that the 12 clans agreed to follow her willingly, that they all just lay down their weapons and agreed to join her? No, they did so because they had no choice. She would have killed each and every one of them.”

“She set up trade agreements,” Clarke said, “all the clans have free travel across all of the land. All clans have the right to come and go as they please, to trade their goods between each other, making it easier for each and every one of them to survive. They wouldn’t have that if it wasn’t for Lexa.”

“They would also be free to choose where their armies fought and with who,” Nia countered, “they would also be free to choose if and when their children learned to fight. She has torn families apart, torn lives apart. She left you and your people for dead, or have you forgotten that.”

Clarke looked down at her feet, it was only for a moment, but that moment was enough for Nia.

“She left you to die, Clarke,” she said, “turned her back and walked away, without giving you a second thought. Given the option she would do so again. Her whispers of sweet nothings in your ear in the darkness of her private room will mean nothing if she has to choose again. She will continue to make the same decision, she will continue to put you and your people second. You know that.”

Clarke couldn’t listen to it anymore, it was like Nia was pulling at that one thread of doubt that remained within her, like she continued to pull and pull. Clarke feared if she pulled anymore it would all unravel. She stepped back a little and pointed her gun at Nia.

“You know that I am right.” Nia said as she looked at Clarke.

The blonde didn’t hear the movement to her left, jumping slightly as a hand was slowly placed on her wrist. Tearing her eyes from Nia she looked over and saw Lexa.

“Put the gun down, Clarke…” Lexa said softly, “Please.”

Clarke’s hand started to shake a little as she looked at Lexa, the other girl’s eyes pleading with her to lower the weapon. Slowly Clarke brought her arm down and dropped the gun on the floor. As she stood there trying to steady her breathing she saw Bellamy move forward and pick up the gun, as Lexa stepped forward and looked at Nia.

“You die at sun down,” she stated, “council decision or not.”

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke sat on the chair in the breakfast room, her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands. Bellamy was standing by the closed door. Lexa was pacing the room.

“Say something…” Clarke said, looking up at Lexa, “please.”

“I am trying to think of a reason why you considered that to be a good idea,” Lexa said, glancing over at Clarke, “what it was in your head that told you that it would be a good idea for you to go down there.”

“I… I was angry.” Clarke said with a shrug.

“Angry?” Lexa asked, stopping as she looked at Clarke, “I am angry, about Nia, about the things that she has done. Luna is angry. Indra is angry. We have all suffered at her hands, in one way or another. We all have reasons to want her dead. A matter of days ago you had not even met her, what reasons do you have to be angry?”

“Because of what she has done to you.” Clarke said, her voice raised louder than she expected it to be.

Clarke sighed and looked at Bellamy.

“Can you give us a minute Bell…” she said as she stood up, Bellamy nodding a little before he left the room, Clarke walked over to where Lexa was standing, “when I woke up, you were asleep. You just looked… peaceful. I got to thinking about what your life could have been like…”

“Those thoughts are wasted,” Lexa said quietly, “nothing can change the way my life has been.”

“I know,” Clarke replied, “I know, but it still didn’t stop me thinking about it. If Nia hadn’t attacked Tondc, if she hadn’t killed your parents and taken Neva… if she hadn’t kidnapped Costia… She is to blame for a lot of the really shitty things in your life Lexa. I couldn’t help but think how… happy you would be, if all those people were still here.”

“There is only one problem with those thoughts Clarke…” Lexa said, reaching her hand up slowly and softly tracing her thumb along Clarke’s jaw, “you wouldn’t be here…”

“Probably not,” Clarke replied with a small shrug, “But…”

“Everything happens for a reason,” Lexa said, interrupting her, “Each one of those people that I have lost shaped my life in some way, they each played a part in making me who I am. There is a reason that they were taken from me, Clarke, a reason that I may never know. But I do know that if they hadn’t been, then I would not have you standing here as you are now, and given the choice of giving this up to have them back… I wouldn’t take it.”

Clarke closed her eyes as Lexa’s words washed over her.

“They are my past, Clarke,” Lexa continued, “a past that I would not give up or change. You are my present, and hopefully my future…”

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Lexa was standing out in the public square, watching as the final preparations were made. A large tree trunk had been placed on the raised platform in the centre of the square, underneath the platform was a huge collection of logs.

“Are you sure about this Heda?” Indra asked as she walked over to her.

“I am.” Lexa replied, “she will be cut, then she will be burned. That is my decision. If the council do not agree…”

“They agree Heda.” Indra said interrupting her, “but they believe that it would be more symbolic if you were to end her fight.”

“I will light the fire, Indra,” Lexa said, looking over at the older woman, “I will not run her through with my sword, that is too quick. The fire will burn slowly and as those flames finally engulf her body she will have time to think about all the lives she has taken.”

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

The sun set and Clarke made her way out onto the balcony overlooking the square, Neva had a death grip on her hand. As she looked down she could see the square full of people, everyone obviously very interested in watching this particular execution.

“Are you sure she needs to watch this?” Raven asked Clarke, motioning down to Neva.

“She wants to,” Clarke replied with a shrug, “no one is forcing her to be here. If it were up to me or Lexa she wouldn’t be.”

Lexa walked up onto the raised platform and everyone started chanting ‘Heda’.

“You can still change your mind…” Clarke said, looking down at Neva who just shook her head, “okay, well if you do change your mind, let me know.”

They stood and watched as Nia was brought up from the cells and walked to the platform, she stood eyes locked with Lexa as she was tied to the trunk of the tree. Once she had been secured to the trunk Lexa stepped to one side, and one by one a trail of people walked up the steps and cut Nia with blades. Clarke lost count of how many people took their turn. The blonde was surprised that Nia stayed quiet the whole time.  Luna was the last person to step up before Lexa stepped forward. Silently she dragged her blade across Nia’s abdomen. Before stepping back again.

A few moments passed before Indra handed Lexa a lit torch. Lexa walked back down the steps and placed the torch under the platform so it could light the logs which were piled beneath it.

“Yu gonplei ste odon.” Lexa said, looking at Nia who still had her eyes locked on the Commander, just as they had been through the whole thing.

“And yours is just beginning.” Nia replied with a small smirk.

Lexa’s attention was drawn away from Nia by Raven shouting her name from the balcony. Lexa watched as Clarke stumbled backwards, an arrow clearly visible in the left side of her body. The Commander quickly drew her sword from its sheath and ran up the stairs of the platform. Standing behind Nia she pulled her sword across her throat, severing her head. Dropping the now severed head onto the platform, Lexa ran back down the steps and towards the compound, knowing that Indra would have the warriors out searching for the bow-man.

“Get Nyko and Abby now.” Lexa shouted to Kassius as she took the stairs in the compound two at a time.

When she reached the room which lead out to the balcony where Clarke had been standing she rushed in to see Clarke laying on the floor, Raven and Neva knelt next to her. Lexa tried to steady her breathing as she made her way over to them.

“It’s just my shoulder…” Clarke said through gritted teeth as she saw Lexa.

“We need to get it out.” Lexa replied, dropping to her knees next to the blonde.

Lexa blocked everything else in the room out as she helped Clarke sit up, trying to ignore the whimpers of pain coming from Clarke’s lips. She knew that the arrow needed to come out of her shoulder as soon as possible, to lessen the damage to any muscles.

“I am so sorry…” Lexa said quietly to the blonde as she snapped the shaft of the arrow.

Clarke dropped her head to Lexa’s shoulder as the brunette reached behind her, Lexa gripped the arrow shaft as close to Clarke’s shoulder as she could. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes and pulled. As Clarke’s scream filled the room Neva clung to Raven.

“It’s okay kid…” Raven said quietly, rubbing her hand soothing up and down Neva’s back.

Clarke buried her face in the crook of Lexa’s neck as the brunette held her close.

“I’ve got you…” Lexa said.

A few moments later Abby and Nyko rushed into the room and Lexa finally released her arms around Clarke and stood up giving the two healers space to work. Indra walked into the room and over to where Lexa was now standing next to the wall.

“We have him Heda.” Indra said, glancing over at Clarke before she looked back to Lexa.

“Kill him.” Lexa said, her jaw clenched as she didn’t take her eyes off the blonde.

Indra nodded once before leaving the room again.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this update, I've been pretty busy. It made me laugh how many of you just assumed that the arrow was poisoned, twisted people, the lot of you haha. Enjoy. (The notes at the end keep coming and going, by this point I think it's safe to say I'll be continuing this)

 

Lexa sat on the chair in her room, the entire room was in darkness apart from a candle which sat near the bed. The sounds from the city had finally started to quieten down, but she still wasn’t tired. Kassius had carried Clarke from the room where she had been shot with the arrow up to Lexa’s room, and the blonde was currently fast asleep. After Abby and Nyko had cleaned the wound to Clarke’s shoulder, Abby had given her some pain relief, which also made her sleep.

A quiet knock on the door snapped Lexa from her thoughts. As she walked over to the door she was expecting to find Kassius or Indra, she was surprised to find Neva standing there.

“Is something wrong?” Lexa asked the young girl.

“I had a bad dream…” Neva replied quietly as she looked up at Lexa.

Lexa stepped back from the door, letting Neva walk into the room, before she closed the door behind her.

“Would you like to talk about it?” Lexa asked as she sat back down on the chair, Neva deciding to sit in front of the fire which was still burning.

“Is Clarke going to be okay?” the young girl asked, her eyes fixed on the fire.

“Her mother assures me that she will be fine,” Lexa replied, “the wound will heal in time.”

“What happened to the person who hurt her?” Neva said, glancing back at Lexa.

“I instructed Indra to kill him.” Lexa said, unable to meet the younger girl’s eyes.

“Is Queen Nia dead?” Neva asked, looking down at her hands.

“Yes.” Lexa said with a nod.

“Are you sure?” The young girl asked, her voice cracking slightly.

“I am sure,” Lexa replied, standing up and walking over to where Neva was sitting, “I killed her myself. Is that what you had a bad dream about?”

Neva nodded a little.

“In my dream she wasn’t really dead,” she said as Lexa sat down on the floor next to her, “and she came in here and… she tied you up and hurt Clarke… and then when Clarke was dead she killed you…”

“I promise you she is dead,” Lexa said quietly as she looked at her younger sister, “she cannot hurt anyone anymore.”

“What is going to happen to the Azgeda now?” Neva asked, shuffling closer to Lexa.

“I don’t know,” Lexa admitted, “Nia broke the agreement we had when she didn’t tell me that she had attacked Tondc. So we no longer have a truce or an alliance with them, they are no longer part of the coalition. If a new leader can be chosen and an agreement can be reached, we may be able to have peace with them once again.”

“Will you be going there?” she asked.

“If a new leader cannot be chosen, then I will have no choice,” Lexa replied, “I will have to lead my army north… Rohan assured me it will not come to that. Did Queen Nia have somebody lined up to replace her?”

“No,” Neva said shaking her head, “she believed that it would not come to that for many years… her general once said that was why I was there…One of her warriors left the city, taking some of the troops with her, Nia said they were deserters. People who didn’t like her, though most people didn’t really like her, no one ever said it to her face.”

“Who was this warrior?” Lexa asked, thinking that she could possibly talk to the warrior and put her in place as temporary leader until something else could be arranged.

“Echo knows.” Neva replied, stifling a yawn.

“Do you think you can sleep now?” Lexa asked her with a small smile, causing the younger girl to nod a little, “go and climb into bed next to Clarke, carefully.”

Neva made her way over to the bed, and got into bed next to where Clarke was sleeping. Lexa walked over and pulled the blankets up over her.

“Get some rest…” she said as Neva yawned again, closing her eyes and wriggling down further under the blankets, causing Lexa to smile a little as she blew out the candle next to the bed.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke woke up to the sun streaming into the room, the dull throbbing in her shoulder was her reminder of what had happened the previous night. She turned her head and looked at Lexa’s side of the bed, her eyes narrowing as she didn’t see the other girl there, instead she saw a small lump under the blankets. Lifting them up she found Neva asleep on her stomach, her arms folded under her head. As cute as the sight was, Clarke couldn’t help but wonder where Lexa was. She tried to get out of bed without waking Neva but as soon as she started to move she knew that she had failed. A small head popped out from under the blankets and green eyes looked sleepily at her.

“Good morning.” Clarke said with a smile.

Neva scrunched her face up and pulled the blankets back over her head, causing Clarke to laugh as she got out of bed.

Once Clarke had got dressed she walked to the door, opening it to find Kassius and Indra both standing opposite.

“Where’s Lexa?” she asked, looking between them.

“She and Luna are meeting with the representatives of the other clans to discuss the future of the Azgeda.” Kassius replied when it became clear that Indra wasn’t going to answer her.

“And she asked you two to stand here because…?” the blonde asked.

“She wanted to ensure that you remained safe.” He said.

“Nia is dead, the guy who shot me is dead,” Clarke said with a sigh as she walked from the room and closed the door behind her, “I think I’m safe.”

She started to walk down the hallway, stopping when she realised both Indra and Kassius were following her.

“Neva is still asleep.” She said, “surely Lexa would want her to remain safe as well.”

Kassius looked at Indra, the other woman sighed and rolled her eyes as she turned around and walked back to the door.

“One down, one to go…” Clarke said as she continued her walk down the hallway.

“You must surely understand why Lexa has tasked us to ensure your safety, Clarke.” Kassius said as he walked behind her.

“I’m guessing that there’s nothing I can say that’s going to make you see that I don’t need you as my new shadow.” The blonde said as she stopped and looked at him, he shook his head a little, a small smile on his lips, “fine… I need to go and see my mother, the wound on my shoulder is itching.”

Kassius didn’t say anything as Clarke walked down the stairs, he simply followed quietly behind her. As they reached the bottom of the stairs they saw Bellamy standing outside the council room, he smiled as he saw Clarke and walked over to her, pulling her into a hug.

“Good morning to you too Bell.” Clarke said with a smile as she backed out of the hug.

“I’m just surprised to see you up and about,” he replied, “you did get shot with an arrow.”

“It went through my shoulder,” the blonde replied, “no serious damage. Why are you waiting out here?”

“Lexa and Luna wanted Echo to speak with the representatives,” Bellamy said, looking back at the door, “something about her being able to help them with information about finding a new Azgeda leader. Personally I just think Lexa should leave them to all their ice and issues.”

“With Nia gone, they’re going to need someone to lead them, someone a little more… open to Lexa’s leadership.” Clarke said with a small smile, “it makes sense that they’re asking Echo for information, she is Azgeda after all.”

“Yeah, I’m just worried it might be more than that.” he said, rubbing the back of his neck.

“She’ll be fine Bell.” Clarke said, “is something going on with you two?”

He smiled a little and shrugged.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

“Perhaps you should have a meeting with the Azgeda,” one of the councillors said as he looked at Lexa, “maybe their elders have their own thoughts about who may be better to take over as leader.”

“I cannot leave Polis at the moment,” Lexa replied, “with the threat from the city beyond the City of Light still ongoing…”

“That is not the only reason you wish to remain here…” someone muttered.

Lexa looked around the group of gathered representatives to try and see who had made the remark, but she couldn’t.

“If anyone has anything they wish to say about my reasons for wanting to stay here, now is the time to do it,” she said with a sigh, “I may not be so open in the future.”

“There is talk, Heda,” Samara said, looking at Lexa, “about your relationship with the leader of the Sky People.”

“Of course there is…” Lexa replied with a sigh and a roll of her eyes.

“After the obvious display of worry last night, your people are… curious.” Samara said, “Your quick exit from the execution and the subsequent execution of the man responsible for shooting the arrow which hit Clarke, it is clear to many that you care for her.”

“And people disapprove?” Lexa asked, her jaw clenching slightly.

“Many here do not.” Samara replied.

“Though some do.” Luna said, looking around the room.

“It has been brought to my attention that some view them as a threat,” Samara answered, looking between Luna and Lexa, “they are very different to us, Heda. Their technology and the ease with which they use it, and how they rely on it, it reminds people of the Mountain. Of the Old World.”

“The Sky People are no threat to us.” Lexa said, her eyes travelling around the room, she noticed that a few of the representatives couldn’t meet her eyes.

“People’s fears may be lessened if they were to join the coalition.” Rohan said to Lexa, “As for your relationship with their leader, perhaps if you were to make an announcement of some kind…”

“Clarke and I have already discussed the Sky People joining the coalition, and we both agreed that it was something that we would talk about when the current threat to our people is dealt with.” Lexa replied, “this is to be my final word on the matter at this time.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As Abby examined the wound on Clarke’s shoulder the blonde girl winced a little.

“What is it with you doctors, you poke something and then ask if it hurts…” she muttered, causing Abby to laugh a little.

“It is a little inflamed,” Abby said as she walked back in front of Clarke, “you may be getting an infection, I’ll see if Nyko has any creams that can help.”

“Oh great,” Clarke said, putting her top back on, “how can I get an infection, you cleaned the wound.”

“Any wound is susceptible to infection,” Abby replied as she washed her hands, “especially one caused by a weapon. Do you feel ill at all, temperature? Cold sweats?”

“No,” Clarke said, shaking her head a little, “it just itches.”

“Okay,” Abby said with a nod, pulling the little curtain to one side and allowing Kassius to come back into the examination area, “I’ll go and talk to Nyko about getting you a cream for that.”

As Abby left the room Clarke looked at Kassius.

“You’re going to tell Lexa about this aren’t you.” She said to him.

“Is there something wrong?” he asked.

“No,” she replied with a shake of her head, “my mom thinks it may be an infection, something which is easily fixed. You know if you tell Lexa she’s just going to worry, and with everything else that is going on at the moment…”

“If you see no reason to worry her with this, then neither do I.” he said with a small smile.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a lighter chapter after the last few heavy ones. It also moves the A.L.I.E story on a bit. Hope you all enjoy it. Don't forget to drop me a comment, let me know what you think. (the notes at the end still won't go away, just fyi)

While Lexa was in on-going talks with the representatives from other clans about what they were going to do about the current situation with the Azgeda, Clarke was sitting in Raven’s room. The brilliant mechanic was just about to find out if she could figure out the route the drone took from the city it was sent from to Polis. She had done some more thinking about what Clarke had asked about her sending the drone back, and she had a few ideas of her own about it. In the days since the drone had arrived in Polis she had repaired the damage which had been done to it, though she hadn’t tried flying it again, she was sure she could once she reprogrammed its route and trajectory. Raven hadn’t wanted to get it flying around again if she couldn’t control it, Lexa hated the idea of having it in the city at all, so she knew if she had it up and flying and something went wrong, Lexa would probably kill her for it.

“I’ve been thinking about how we could send this back.” Raven said, looking over at Clarke who was currently sitting on one of the chairs in the room, “I’ve already got to work on reconstructing an EMP from what I could find in the room that Lexa showed me. If I can work that into the drone, before sending it back, we can probably take out the power supply for the A.I…”

“You said there’d be a back-up power supply.” Clarke replied.

“Which is why we’re going to need to follow the drone,” Raven said with a nod, looking back at the mini-computer which she had taken from the drone and was in the process of hooking up to the monitor that Bellamy had brought with him from Camp Jaha, “if we can follow it, and get into the building, we can find the back-up power and take it out before it has a chance to kick in.”

“We don’t even know how long that would take,” the blonde said, “with Mount Weather we knew that we had 60 seconds before the back-up generator kicked in, with this we’d be going in blind. We also have no idea if the city is empty, what if it’s not. What if we follow this thing back and find that she has a small army there?”

“Then we take an army of our own…” Raven said with a sigh, “I can’t take her out from here, Clarke, and even if I could we’d still be left with the problem of the bomb, you know the thing that the crazy A.I wants to use to wipe out 99% of the human race…”

“Is there any way that you would be able to send that thing back to the city and have it recording for us, so we will know what we’re dealing with?” Clarke asked.

“Problem with that idea, how would we get the footage back?” Raven asked, “I can’t have it transmitting to where we are because we have no way of keeping in contact with the drone. Back when these things were first built they were used for security, the government would use them to spy on people, though they always denied that… But they had the internet back then, wifi connections, something that we don’t have. The only way we would be able to get live pictures was if we followed it. I could set up a connection between the drone and one of the tablets that we have, that would allow us to see what the drone sees, but we’d need to stay within connection range for that. If I had enough time I could probably figure it out so that we could do it from here, but something tells me that I don’t have the time I would need…”

“How much time would you need?” Clarke asked.

“A month, maybe two…” Raven replied, knowing that they didn’t have that much time, “but as we don’t have a month, this is the only way…We would need to get as close as we can to the city without being seen, then let the drone fly back. After that we would have a few hours to get footage, I’m guessing there isn’t going to be a power supply in the dead zone so I won’t be able to charge anything up…”

“What if we could get to the City of Light?” The blonde asked, “Didn’t Lexa basically say that it was a whole load of solar panels and not a lot else? Would you be able to charge whatever you need directly from the panels?”

“In theory…” Raven replied with a nod, “yes… You’re asking a lot here, Princess.”

“You’re a genius Raven,” Clarke said with a smile, “I’m sure you’ll figure it out. You haven’t let me down yet…”

“Flattery will get you everywhere.” Raven said with a smile of her own, “okay, now go distract someone else, I need to figure this out.”

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke made her way out to the training ground, seeing Bellamy and Kane watching everyone train, she needed something to do to distract her from the thoughts which were swimming around in her head. With Nia gone she knew that would cause a power vacuum within the Azgeda, when one leader dies without leaving a line of succession there will always be people fighting to fill that position. She knew that was what Lexa and the clan representatives were talking about, and she really hoped they could figure something out. Clarke wasn’t sure yet if word would have got back to the Azgeda yet about Nia’s execution, Lexa had closed the gates to the city so in theory nobody would have been able to get out to send word, but Clarke knew that when someone wanted to do something badly enough there was always a way. She just hoped something could be done before the Azgeda decided to seek revenge against Lexa. With the alliance between the Azgeda and the remaining 11 clans broken, nothing stood in the way of an all-out war.

As she walked over to where people were training, both Grounders and Sky People, Clarke saw Neva picking up a sword which was lying on the ground.

“What do you think you’re doing with that?” Clarke asked, walking over to the younger girl.

“Training…” Neva replied, looking at Clarke.

“Put it down.” The blonde said, walking over to her.

“I need to be ready.” Neva said.

“Ready for what?” Clarke asked, crouching down in front of the young girl.

“For the war…” the young girl replied, looking down at the sword in her hand rather than looking at Clarke.

“There isn’t going to be a war,” Clarke said, softly lifting Neva’s face and looking in her eyes, “Lexa is working really hard right now to make sure that there isn’t going to be a war.”

“But there is.” Neva said, “and it’s all my fault.”

“Hey…” Clarke said, “nothing that has happened is your fault, okay?”

Neva didn’t reply, she furrowed her brow in a way that Clarke had seen Lexa do many times.

“Neva, none of this is your fault,” Clarke said, taking the sword from the young girl, “and even if there is a war, you won’t be fighting, you’ll be here where it’s safe.”

“But you and Lexa won’t be here,” Neva said, shaking her head a little, “which means it won’t be safe.”

“If there is a war, the gates will be closed, just like they have been for the last few days,” Clarke said, “with the gates closed it will be safe.”

“The gates were closed when you got shot with the arrow.” Neva said.

“The person who shot me was already in the city,” the blonde said with a little smile, “nobody got in from the outside.”

“Clarke.” Indra said, walking over to where Clarke and Neva were, “are you here for training?”

“Not today,” Clarke replied as she stood up, “my shoulder is still really painful and as I’m left handed I can’t hold a sword properly.”

Indra nodded a little, which surprised Clarke, the blonde expecting some remark about how warriors don’t make excuses.

“No little ‘warriors don’t make excuses’ dig?” she asked with a smirk as she looked at Indra.

“You were shot with an arrow,” Indra said, “I am surprised you are walking around, I expected you to still be in bed. Is Lexa aware that you are out here?”

“No,” Lexa said stepping up behind them, “Lexa is not aware.”

“I was just getting some air.” Clarke said with a small smile as she turned to face Lexa.

“And where is Kassius?” Lexa asked in reply, looking around for the man.

“Last time I saw him he was talking to my mother.” The blonde said.

“When was that?” the brunette asked.

“Before I went to see Raven.” Clarke said, realising that she had just told Lexa that she wasn’t just getting some air.

“So you went to see your mother, and then you spoke to Raven,” Lexa replied, “both of which would have taken you out of the room, speaking to your mother took you outside the compound, which means you were out in the fresh air.”

“How did the meeting go?” Clarke asked, as she saw Indra shake her head a little before she walked away.

“Please do not try and change the subject,” Lexa replied, with a roll of her eyes, “you should not be walking around without somebody with you. Need I remind you that last night you were shot with an arrow.”

“Need I remind you that it went straight through my shoulder and there was no real damage done,” Clarke said, “I don’t need somebody with me to hold my hand.”

“I do not understand…” Lexa said, furrowing her brow a little, “why would having someone with you mean they were holding your hand?”

“I don’t mean literally holding my hand,” Clarke said with a sigh, “I mean that I don’t need someone following me around to make sure I’m okay. I’m fine, Lexa.”

“Then you won’t mind me asking your mother her opinion on how your shoulder is healing will you.” Lexa replied, turning around and walking in the direction of the clinic.

Clarke looked down at Neva who looked very confused about the conversation she had just witnessed.

“Do you know somewhere I can hide?” Clarke asked.

Neva nodded and took Clarke by the hand, leading her back into the compound.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke and Neva sat on the floor of the library, they were sitting in the far corner of the room, behind a large shelf of books. Neva was showing Clarke a book that she had found earlier that day, it was a book about space, Clarke was explaining about the stars and planets. The blonde had no idea how long they had been sitting in the library for, but Lexa hadn’t found them yet, assuming she was looking for Clarke at all, which the blonde figured she would be after she had talked to Abby.

“How big is space?” Neva asked as she looked up at Clarke.

“Nobody knows,” the blonde replied, “it could be endless. Nobody knows how many solar systems there are out there.”

“Are there other planets like Earth?” the young girl asked.

“Probably,” Clarke said with a nod, “each solar system has a sun with planets orbiting it…”

Neva looked a little confused.

“You know how Earth moves around the sun,” Clarke said, causing Neva to nod, “well that’s called orbiting, it basically means going around something. So, if every sun has planets going around it then it’s likely that at least some of those planets are like Earth.”

“Will there be people living on them?” Neva asked, looking very excited at the prospect.

“Maybe,” Clarke replied, “but they probably wouldn’t look like us.”

At that moment both girls fell silent as they heard the door open, a few moments later it closed again and Neva opened her mouth to ask another question. Clarke shook her head a little and put her finger to her lips. Neva crawled on her hands and knees to the edge of the bookcase, slowly looking around it. She stopped dead when she saw Lexa standing there looking at her, hands on her hips.

“Are you hiding from someone?” Lexa asked, her eyebrow raised slightly as she looked at her younger sister.

“Yes.” Neva replied with a nod.

“Who?” Lexa asked in reply.

“Raven…” Neva lied.

“Raven is currently busy in her room,” Lexa said, “does she know you were hiding from her?”

Clarke could tell from the tone in Lexa’s voice that she was amused. Neva had no idea how to answer Lexa’s question, and glanced back at where Clarke was sitting, which is exactly what Lexa had obviously been waiting for. The brunette walked around the bookcase and looked at Clarke.

“You have an infection?” Lexa asked her.

“I have a slight inflammation of the area surrounding the wound, which itches…” Clarke replied.

“Which your mother informs me is also known as an infection,” Lexa said, “why were you trying to keep that from me?”

“So you wouldn’t react like you are now.” The blonde replied, “it’s nothing to worry about, but I know what you’re like, you worry about everything.”

“Somebody tried to kill you, Clarke,” Lexa said, “and you expect me not to worry? What if it was not a simple infection, what if the arrow was coated in poison…”

Clarke could see Lexa’s mind working overtime, like she had just considered something she hadn’t thought of before.

“It wasn’t,” Clarke said, standing up and walking closer to the brunette, “it’s an infection, nothing more. Nyko gave me some cream for it, it will be fine. Plus, it’s not the first time someone has tried to kill me, and I doubt that it will be the last.”

“It was the first time someone had tried to kill you here, in my city,” Lexa said with a sigh, “and I could do nothing about it…”

Clarke looked down at Neva.

“Do you want to take the book to Raven?” she asked, “I’m sure she’d love telling you more about space.”

Neva nodded, picking the book up before she walked from the room, closing the door behind her.

“You didn’t know this was going to happen, Lexa.” Clarke said once they were alone, “You couldn’t have known.”

“I should have suspected,” Lexa replied, “that woman has taken away everyone that I’ve ever loved, I should have known that she would try again, even when she was about to die… I should have made sure that you were not on the balcony, in the open…”

“You had other things to worry about.” Clarke said with a small smile, “It isn’t your fault.”

Lexa didn’t reply, she just sighed as she looked at Clarke, clenching her jaw a little. As Lexa’s words finally filtered through Clarke’s brain the blonde narrowed her eyes a little.

“What’s the matter?” Lexa asked her.

“Nothing,” Clarke replied, shaking her head a little, “just sounded for a minute like you just said that you love me… but you didn’t actually say it, I mean…”

Lexa smiled a little as she brought her hand up, placing her finger softly on Clarke’s lips.

“I have loved you since the moment I met you, Clarke of the Sky People…” Lexa said quietly, “you are infuriating, stubborn… beautiful…”

“Infuriating and stubborn huh?” Clarke asked with a small smile as Lexa closed the distance between their lips.

“You allow me to be myself, yet you challenge me to be better…” Lexa said, breaking the kiss and resting her forehead against Clarke’s, “I am a better person because of you, Clarke.”

Just as Clarke was about to say something the door burst open and Bellamy rushed in. Lexa stepped back as she turned and looked at him.

“This had better be important Bell…” Clarke said, looking at him.

“Explosion in Raven’s room…” He replied trying to catch his breath.

Clarke and Lexa ran from the room, knowing that Neva was in Raven’s room. When they reached the third floor they could see smoke coming from the mechanics room, as they made their way along the corridor they both looked at each other as they heard laughter.

“Do that again.” Neva said to Raven as Clarke and Lexa reached the door.

“No,” Lexa said, stepping into the room, “do not do that again.”

“What the hell happened?” Clarke asked walking into the room behind Lexa.

“The kid is a genius.” Raven said as she looked at Neva, before looking at Clarke and Lexa.

“Explain.” Lexa said, folding her arms across her chest.

“Well, the A.I is going to suspect that something is wrong when I send the drone back,” Raven said, “we’ve had it here for days and it was probably supposed to return well before now. So me and the kid were thinking, she’ll probably have one of her other drones bring it down before it gets to where it’s supposed to go, following me so far?”

Both Lexa and Clarke nodded.

“Good,” Raven continued, “so she’ll have it brought down, and chances are she will have it returned so she can find out what is wrong with it. When she’s examining it, or having one of her other drones or whatever she has there looking at it… boom. Explosion blowing out the other drones while the EMP takes out the other electrics in the room.”

“And if this is all happening in the room where she has the nuclear warhead?” Lexa asked, her head tilted to one side a little as she looked at Raven.

“Ah…” Raven said, rubbing the back of her neck, before she looked at Neva, “we didn’t think of that.”

“We need to find out where she has the bomb,” Clarke said, looking between Raven and Lexa, “if I were her I would have it away somewhere…”

“Locked away,” Neva said, “behind special doors.”

Raven looked at Clarke and Lexa as she smirked.

“See,” she said, “genius.”

Clarke laughed a little, stopping herself as Lexa looked at her. The Commander was obviously not amused.

“I am fairly certain I told you not to blow things up in the building.” Lexa said, looking back at Raven.

“You may have mentioned it… briefly…” Raven mumbled.

“It was my idea.” Neva said to Lexa.

“You’re 8.” Lexa replied, “Raven is an adult.”

“Apparently…” Clarke muttered behind her hand as she tried to stop herself from laughing again.

“This is why a workshop would be a good idea,” Raven said to Lexa, “that way I don’t have to blow things up in the building.”

Lexa looked between Clarke and Raven as the blonde laughed again before she turned and walked out of the room.

“Lexa…” Clarke called after her.

“You’re in trouble.” Neva said to Raven.

“It was your idea.” Raven replied looking down at her.

“I’m 8.” Neva said with a nod.

 


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no idea where this part came from, and it kinda ran-away with itself in terms of length. Lexa and Octavia have a bit of a heart to heart towards the end. Hope you all enjoy reading it. IF the notes are there at the end then please ignore them. Any comments are appreciated, they help with the writing. You can find me over on tumblr @ unaligned-valkyrie.

Lexa’s compound had been abuzz with activity for the previous couple of days, the Commander herself had missed the evening meal the night before, Kassius telling Clarke that Lexa had an emergency meeting with the clan representatives. When the blonde had said she would go to the meeting, the man mountain had told her that Lexa had requested that she stay away.

Clarke knew that there had been more and more talk of their relationship, she’d heard talk around the compound, a couple of Lexa’s generals wondering when she was going to announce something about it. The blonde girl didn’t know much about Grounder traditions, so she had made a mental note to ask Luna about why Clarke and Lexa’s relationship was the focus of so much attention. Obviously she knew why from the point of Lexa being the Commander, the leader of her people, she could see from that point why it would be such a big deal. But she had yet to understand why it was the focus of so much attention.

Luna had also missed the evening meal, so Clarke had yet to have the opportunity to talk to her about it. The entire previous day everyone who Clarke had come into contact with had acted in a way which made her suspicious, it was like everyone was treating her differently. She had begun to suspect that something wasn’t right when even Indra asked her if she was having a pleasant day. Sure her relationship with Indra had improved vastly since the older woman had stuck her spear in Clarke’s stomach that night before the blonde had put Finn out of his misery, but small talk still wasn’t a thing between them, as Indra obviously still believed that Clarke talked too much.

As she had been walking around the stalls in the marketplace she had seen Bellamy, deep in discussion with one of the traders, she could clearly hear Bellamy reminding the man that Lexa had requested warm winter clothes, which she apparently would be needing by the end of the day. Clarke knew it was getting colder in Polis and it wouldn’t be long before winter caught up with them, but she knew enough to know that the cold weather would not be hitting them with any force any time soon.

Her suspicions that something was wrong were given even more weight after she had returned to Lexa’s room, after not seeing the Commander at all during the day, to find Lexa not there. She had occupied her mind for a time, thinking of some more ideas for Raven in regards to returning the drone to the A.I. But as she had looked out over the city of Polis from the balcony, light now shining from every building as darkness enveloped the city, Clarke couldn’t stop that uncomfortable feeling that was building in her stomach. Something big was going on, something that Lexa was keeping from her, and she didn’t like it. When she had fallen asleep that night she had been alone, there was no Lexa, not even word from Lexa about when she would be returning.

Clarke was woken up by a knocking on the door, as she stretched her arms out she felt the cold sheets on Lexa’s side of the bed, the feeling alone let Clarke know that Lexa hadn’t slept there that night. Dragging herself out of bed she had been surprised to see Octavia standing at the door.

“Why are you dressed like you’re going to war?” Clarke asked her as she wiped her eyes, trying to wake herself up a little bit.

“Don’t you think it makes me look like a total badass?” Octavia asked with a small smile, it wasn’t the usual smile she had for Clarke, which again let the blonde know something just wasn’t right.

“What’s going on O?” the blonde asked, not really sure if she wanted to know the answer or not.

“Get dressed and come downstairs,” Octavia replied, “but don’t take too long about it.”

With that Octavia started to walk away, back towards the stairs. As Clarke watched her walk away she saw Kassius waiting at the end of the corridor, his eyes were guarded as he looked at her. Clarke sighed as she closed the door and got dressed. As she left the room she saw that Kassius was still waiting. She also felt the atmosphere which seemed to settle over the entire building.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked as Kassius walked next to her.

“You will soon see.” He replied.

“The tone of your voice tells me I’m not going to like it very much.” The blonde said, glancing at him as she started to walk down the stairs.

He didn’t reply, just kept walking down the stairs next to her. When she reached the bottom of the stairs she saw Lincoln standing with Octavia, also looking like he was going to war. Luna was talking to Lexa, the Commander looking like she hadn’t got a wink of sleep the previous night, which made Clarke wonder if the emergency meeting had gone on all night. Raven was leaning against the wall, Neva in front of her, the older girls hands on the younger ones shoulders.

“What’s going on?” Clarke said to Raven as she noticed that Echo and Bellamy were standing just outside the main door talking to Nyko and Abby.

Raven shrugged a little.

“Neva…?” Clarke said looking down at the young girl, who just avoided meeting her eyes, her gaze fixed on Lexa.

Clarke looked around at everyone in the immediate vicinity, none of them would meet her eyes, every single one of them was purposefully avoiding looking at her.

“Does someone want to tell me what the hell is going on?” She yelled, causing everyone to stop what they were talking about and look over at her.

Clarke looked at Lexa as the other girl closed her eyes, stopping her conversation with Luna, Lexa then let out a long slow deep breath as she opened her eyes and looked again at the woman in front of her. Luna nodded a little and Lexa returned the gesture, finally turning to look at Clarke.

As Lexa walked over to where Clarke was standing, everyone else looked away, most of them training their eyes on the floor.

“Lexa, what the hell is going on?” Clarke asked as Lexa got closer to her, “why does it look like you’re all getting ready to ride away from here and towards some war?”

“I am going to be away from Polis for a short time,” Lexa replied as calmly as she could, hoping not to worry Clarke any more than she obviously already was, “I will return in a week, two at the latest…”

“What?” the blonde asked, wanting more than anything to have misheard Lexa, “Why are you only telling me this now?”

“It was something that was only agreed on in the very early hours of the morning,” Lexa said, stepping forward a little and taking Clarke’s hands in hers, the blonde girl pulling away, “Clarke, please, you must understand…”

“I must understand what?” she snapped in reply, “that you’re riding off into some war and you’re only telling me now, as you’re leaving?”

“I was going to tell you when I came to bed, but you looked so peaceful that I didn’t want to wake you just to tell you bad news,” the Commander tried to explain, “I am not riding into war, Clarke, but I am riding North.”

“The Azgeda…” Clarke said quietly.

“It is a situation which needs to be brought under control before it is too late,” Lexa replied with a small smile, “it is something that I must take care of before the coalition falls apart, and as much as I have tried, it is not something that I can do from here.”

Clarke nodded a little, of course she knew why Lexa had to go, but it didn’t stop it hurting her. She closed her eyes as she felt Lexa softly cup her face with her hands, opening them again to find green eyes, eyes that she felt like she could get lost for hours in, gazing back at her, pleading for her to understand.

“Come back to me…” Clarke said quietly as she rested her forehead against Lexa’s.

“Always…” Lexa replied, just as quietly, as she closed her eyes.

Clarke wasn’t sure who had closed the distance between their lips, but as Lexa’s lips softly captured hers she didn’t worry too much about it. It was a slow, soft kiss, one that promised many more. As Lexa backed away she still had her eyes closed. Opening them only as she turned around and walked over to where Neva was standing with Raven. She crouched down in front of the younger girl.

“I have a very important job for you while I’m away.” Lexa said to her, which caused Neva to stand up a little straighter in front of Raven, “it’s very very important, and I do not trust anyone else to do this for me, do you understand?”

“Yes, Heda,” Neva replied with a nod, causing Lexa to smile softly.

“I need you to ensure that Clarke is safe while I’m not here,” Lexa said, glancing back at Clarke briefly, before looking back at the young girl, “can you do that for me?”

Neva nodded once, her little face suddenly very serious.

“Yes?” Lexa asked.

“Yes.” Neva replied with another nod.

“Thank you.” Lexa said with a small smile, as she looked over at Luna, the other woman walking over to her and handing Lexa a sword.

From where Clarke was standing the sword looked to be an exact copy of the one Lexa always had strapped to her back, only smaller. It was the perfect size for Neva.

“This is for you.” Lexa said, holding the sword out to Neva, “it is not a toy, it is not something that you can take to your classes with you, nor is it something that you should allow Raven to play with without supervision…”

Clarke noticed a small smile pass between Lexa and Raven as the Commander looked up at the other girl from her crouched position. Clarke felt something chip away at her heart as Neva put her arms around Lexa’s neck and gave her a very tight hug, one that Lexa didn’t hesitate to return, even in front of some of her warriors. As Lexa stood up she looked at Raven.

“Towards the back of the building you will find a room,” she said, “it has been set up for you. Please try to ensure that the building is still standing when I return.”

“You’ve got it.” Raven said with a small smile and a nod.

Lexa started to walk back towards Luna.

“One or two explosions are okay though, right?” Raven asked, causing Lexa to stop and look back at her, Raven laughed at the look on the Commanders face, “No explosions, got it.”

As she reached Luna, Lexa glanced back at Clarke who was talking to Neva.

“Take care of them for me.” Lexa said quietly to Luna before she walked towards the doors.

Clarke, Raven and Neva walked over to where Luna was standing. Abby walked over and stood at Clarke’s other side, Kassius behind her and Indra standing next to Neva. They all stood and watched as Lexa was the last to mount her horse. From where they were standing Clarke could see a small unit of warriors waiting closer to the gates. It also seemed like a large number of the residents of Polis had come out to find out what all the fuss was about. Even with everyone making a noise, everyone questioning what was going on, Clarke was sure the rest of the world stopped as Lexa looked back at her. The blonde stood up a little straighter, letting Lexa know that she was okay. With one last small nod of the head, Lexa turned her horse and lead the rest of the small group towards the gates of Polis.

 

x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was sitting in the meeting room, Luna not too far away from her as she talked something through with Indra and Kassius. The chairs in the room had all been moved over to one side and Neva was attempting to show Raven how to fight with a sword.

“No,” the young girl said, stamping her foot again, which caused Clarke to laugh a little, “you cannot hold it like that. Even a 5-year-old knows how to hold a sword.”

“You remember I used to live in space, right?” Raven asked.

“Clarke knows how to hold a sword and she lived in space,” Neva said, putting one hand on her hip as she looked at Raven, “Octavia used to live in the floor and she knows how to hold a sword…”

“Are we sure she’s only 8?” Raven asked as she glanced over at Clarke, causing the blonde girl to shrug.

At that moment Nyko walked into the room.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said to Luna, “but Clarke’s mother wishes to speak with her.”

“Thanks.” Clarke said with a smile as she stood up, Neva immediately walking over to her and taking hold of her hand, “what about Raven’s training?”

“Even Indra would not be able to train her.” Neva whispered, loud enough for Raven to hear her.

“I heard that.” Raven said, causing Neva to look at her and give her the sweetest smile Clarke had seen.

“Lexa gave me a job; I am doing it.” Neva said as she looked back up at Clarke, “let us go and talk to you mother.”

Clarke smiled a little and nodded her head, then she and Neva walked towards the door before Clarke stopped and looked back.

“It is okay for me to go right?” she asked Luna.

“We are not here to stop you living your life, Clarke,” Luna said with a small smile, “we are only here to ensure you remain safe while you do so.”

Clarke nodded a little before she and Neva left the room.

“I told you there would be a war.” Neva said as she and Clarke left the compound and headed toward the clinic.

“There isn’t a war,” Clarke replied, looking down at the young girl who was still holding her hand, “Lexa has gone to make sure that one doesn’t start.”

Neva nodded and they continued their walk in silence. It wasn’t much of a walk from the compound to the clinic, but it was enough for Clarke to feel the difference in atmosphere around the city. It was as if people were being a little more cautious with everything, everything was a little more subdued, a little quieter. As they passed the blacksmiths stall someone called out to them.

“How do you like the sword goufa?” Marius asked with a smile as he looked down at Neva while he cleaned the dirt from his hands.

“You made it?” Neva asked, looking back up at him.

“Same as I made Heda’s sword. I was surprised when she returned asking for a new one,” he said with a smile, “but then she explained it was for a very powerful little warrior.”

“It is beautiful,” Neva said, a small blush covering her cheeks, “thank you.”

“It was my pleasure.” He replied with a small bow, making Neva laugh, before he looked at Clarke, “You will be requesting one next.”

“I still have the one Lexa gave me when I arrived here.” Clarke said with a smile of her own, “but when I do need a new one, then I know who to ask.”

She found herself looking around again, noticing the atmosphere.

“It is always like this when Heda rides out,” Marius said, knowing that Clarke was picking up in the change of atmosphere, “it is like every single one of us feels the worry. A lot has changed over the time we have had Heda, life is better for everyone here…”

“But…?” Clarke asked as she looked back at him.

“But she is now older than all Heda’s who came before her,” Marius said, a solemn look on his face, “we all fear the day she doesn’t return.”

“She’ll be back soon…” Clarke said with a smile, hoping she was being more convincing that she felt.

“Yes, she will,” Marius replied, “and then we celebrate her safe return, and everything moves on as before.”

Clarke shook her head as she laughed a little as Marius smiled at her and went back to work.

Neva pulled at Clarke’s arm, leading her towards another of the nearby stalls. Clarke followed behind her.

“Do you think Lexa would like that?” Neva asked Clarke as she motioned down at a piece of wood which had been carved into the shape of a tree.

“I think she would,” Clarke said with a small nod, “would you like to get it for her, and you can give it to her when she gets back.”

“I don’t have anything to trade…” Neva said quietly as she looked down at her feet.

“Wait here.” Clarke said with a smile, noticing the woman and young man who were at that moment carving more pieces next to the stall.

They both looked at Clarke as she walked over to them, the young man standing up as soon as he saw Clarke approaching them.

“Hi,” Clarke said with a little wave, hoping they spoke English or this was going to be harder than she thought, “my little friend over there is looking at the carving of the tree, she wants to get it for L… Heda, a gift for when she returns. What do you want for it?”

“For you, it is free.” The young man said, looking at the blonde before looking back at the woman, “nomon disha ste Klark kom skai kru.”

Clarke saw how the woman’s eyes widened a little as she looked at Clarke. The woman then said something to the young man, something that Clarke didn’t understand but it made him laugh.

“She was just saying that she thought you would be taller.” He translated for her, “please, take the tree carving, you saved our people from the mountain.”

“Heda did that.” Clarke said with a small smile.

“She could not have done it without your help.” He said, walking over to the carving of the tree and handing it to Neva.

The young girl looked over at Clarke, a questioning look in her eyes, but when Clarke nodded a little a smile broke on Neva’s face as she took the carving from the man.

“Mochof.” Clarke said to him as he walked back over.

He smiled and returned to his work.

Eventually Clarke and Neva arrived at the clinic, it was pretty empty as they walked in, Abby was just explaining to a woman about using the cream she was giving her once a day. The woman smiled and then left.

“You wanted to speak to me.” Clarke said as she dropped herself down on the chair next to one of the tables in the clinic, Neva sitting on her lap.

“I do,” Abby said with a nod as she leant against the table, “I was thinking, as Lexa is away, we have room…”

“I’m not coming to stay with you, mom.” Clarke said with a small smile, interrupting her mother, “it’s going to be hard enough for me to sleep without Lexa here, I wouldn’t want to keep a whole house full of people awake with my nightmares.”

“I thought you might say that,” Abby replied with a nod and a smile of her own, “but I thought I had better ask, just in case.”

“Plus, there’s still Raven and this little monster to keep me company, and someone has to make sure Raven doesn’t blow up the building, Lexa would flip.” Clarke said.

“Did she say when she would be back?” Abby asked.

“A week, two at most.” The blonde said with a small nod, “she just needs to make sure they don’t start killing each other.”

“Is that likely?” The older woman asked.

“I don’t know,” Clarke replied, “other than Nia I don’t really know much about the Azgeda.”

“Nia’s death means there is no leader,” Neva said, looking between Abby and Clarke, “they will be fighting to fill that place.”

“Nyko offered to go with her, but she said they wouldn’t need a healer, and if they did Lincoln was there,” Abby said, “I would have offered to go but…”

“Yeah, you and Lexa alone with a mediator for at least a week… that probably wouldn’t be a good idea.” Clarke replied.

“We’re getting a long a lot better than we were.” Abby said with a small laugh, “which I have to admit isn’t really saying a lot…”

Clarke laughed a little.

“Jake would’ve liked her.” Abby continued, causing Clarke to stop laughing.

“You think?” she asked.

“She does the right thing for her people, not because it is the easiest thing to do, but because it is right,” the older woman said with a nod, resting her hand on Clarke’s shoulder, “so yes, I think. And he would take one look at the way she looks at you, and he’d be won over. You’re the most important thing in the world to her, Clarke, just like you are to me, and you were to him.”

“It bugs me that she didn’t tell me about this whole thing sooner,” Clarke said with a sigh, “I mean they’ve been talking about it for the last couple of days, she had to know something like this was going to happen.”

“She didn’t tell you because she didn’t want to worry you,” Abby replied, “I know that is difficult to understand, but she felt she was doing the right thing. Octavia and Bellamy didn’t know anything about it until Kassius woke them up this morning. And you know it is something she had to do, she probably just didn’t want to argue with you about it.”

Neva sighed as she sat back on Clarke’s lap, resting her head against the blonde girls shoulder.

“You okay there?” Clarke asked, looking at her with a small smile.

“She is coming back, right?” Neva asked, looking at Clarke, then Abby.

“Yeah, kid,” Clarke said, putting her arms around Neva’s waist and kissing her on the side of the head, “she’s coming back.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The hours seemed to fly by and before Clarke knew it night had descended on the city. The atmosphere she had felt earlier hadn’t lifted, she supposed it wouldn’t really change until Lexa got back. Clarke had spent most of the rest of the day with Neva and Raven, trying to figure out how to wire the drone to set off an EMP then detonate a large enough explosion to take out anything of interest near-by. Clarke had said how impressed she was that Raven had yet to blow anything up, both she and Raven had burst out laughing when Neva reminded them that Lexa had only been gone for one day.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Octavia looked around the small fire pit, a few of Lexa’s warriors were telling them horror stories about the Azgeda and what had happened in the past. She thought some of it was probably lies, but when Echo didn’t deny it, she couldn’t help but wonder what Lexa was marching them into. None of them had seen the Commander since they had set up the tents, Lincoln had told her that Lexa would sit with them for food, but she didn’t. So the younger girl decided to take it upon herself to take the other girl some food. Lexa had left both Indra and Kassius back in Polis, along with Luna. The three people that Lexa would talk to regularly, other than Clarke of course, and the Commander had brought none of them with her.

She made her way from the fire towards Lexa’s tent, Lincoln curiously watching her every step of the way. Closing her eyes she took a deep breath and knocked on one of the wooden supports near the tent entrance. She didn’t hear any movement from inside the tent, and just as she was about to walk back to the fire she heard the very tired response from within the tent.

“Yes…” Lexa said.

Octavia walked into the tent and found Lexa sitting on the bed, her armour was scattered on the floor around her. She had her elbows on her knees and her head resting on her hands. Lexa didn’t look up as Octavia walked in.

“Figured you might want some food.” Octavia said, putting the plate down on the bed next to where Lexa was sitting.

“I’m not hungry,” Lexa replied with a small nod, “but thank you…”

“Come on, Lexa,” Octavia said, “you haven’t eaten all day, all the times we stopped to rest the horses and get food, you haven’t eaten.”

“I did not realise you were paying that much attention to my eating habits…” Lexa replied with a sigh.

“Yeah, well, Clarke would kick my ass if anything happened to you,” the younger girl said, “so eat something or I’ll get Lincoln and Bellamy in here to hold you down while I force you to eat.”

“I am tempted not to eat, just to witness that,” Lexa said with a small laugh, “I’m really not hungry.”

“I don’t care,” Octavia replied, smiling slightly at the sound of Lexa actually laughing, “you have to eat something.”

Octavia stood in silence, her eyes not leaving Lexa. She saw the Commander raise her head slightly, sigh, then look over at the plate of food.

“Rabbit,” Octavia said, “Lincoln said it was your favourite.”

“When I was a child, yes.” Lexa said with a nod as she reached across to the plate and picked up a piece of the meat.

“It’s hard to think of you being a kid.” The younger girl said as she sat down on the one chair that was in the tent.

As they would not be staying camped in one place too long they had only packed the smaller tents, leaving Lexa’s travelling tent back in Polis. This was supposed to be a quick visit to the Ice Nation, the Commander wasn’t wanting to be away from Polis for longer than was necessary.

“It seems like such a long time ago,” Lexa said as she slowly started to eat her food, “when it real terms it wasn’t that long ago at all…”

“When did you make your first kill?” Octavia asked, curious about what Lexa’s answer would be.

“Hunting or fighting?” The Commander asked as she looked at the younger girl.

“Both.” Octavia replied, leaning back in the chair a little, making herself a little more comfortable as Lexa hadn’t asked her to leave.

“I wasn’t allowed to go out with the hunt until I was 9,” Lexa said with a small smile, obviously remembering, “it never stopped myself, Anya, Lincoln and Luna following them as they left. Technically I made my first hunting kill at 7, though Anya was sure it was an accident so we never counted it.”

“Was it an accident?” Octavia asked, a smile on her own lips.

“I did have my eyes closed.” Lexa replied with a shrug and a laugh.

“Mad skills.” Octavia said while laughing, “what about your first actual kill…”

“It was the day of my 8th birthday,” Lexa said with a sigh, her mood suddenly turning a little darker, “I spent the morning with Anya and Lincoln, they were trying to teach me to shoot a bow and arrow properly, but as I once again very nearly shot Anya’s horse in it’s rear end, they decided to call it a day. We were going back to Tondc, my mother had promised me my favourite dinner when I got home, so I hadn’t wanted to be shooting anyway…”

Octavia sat in silence as Lexa spoke, she could tell from her facial expressions that this wasn’t something that Lexa liked talking about, but she didn’t want to question it if Lexa wanted to tell her.

“The village had been attacked,” Lexa continued, “it was only a small raiding party, Azgeda, but they were still there when we got back. Fires were burning, it was difficult to tell what was happening, where everyone was. The house next to where Costia lived was on fire, she was supposed to come with us that day, but she hadn’t finished the gift she was making for me so she had stayed behind…”

As Lexa stopped talking, she closed her eyes and rubbed the back of her neck.

“You don’t have to tell me.” Octavia said with a soft smile.

“It’s fine,” Lexa replied, shaking her head a little “I just have not thought about that day for a long time. The house was empty, it was the first house I checked, not even my own…Costia was Luna’s longer sister, you may have heard Luna or Lincoln mention her…”

“Once or twice,” Octavia said with a small nod, “I know she cared about you very much…”

“As I did for her…” Lexa said, “as I was saying, the house was empty. Anya found Luna and some of the others fighting the raiders, she was yelling at me to get somewhere safe. I didn’t listen. I found my parents, and Indra and her family… as I was leaving Indra’s home I heard screaming. I knew that sound anywhere… Indra’s son grabbed hold of me, to keep me in the house, but I had to leave. I threw my head back and broke his nose, Indra told me he cried for most of the rest of the day…”

Octavia laughed a little at the thought of any child of Indra’s crying.

“I picked up one of Indra’s swords and I ran,” Lexa continued, “I kept running until I reached the outskirts of Tondc, it was near the road that leads to Camp Jaha now. I saw this Azgeda warrior trying to get Costia onto his horse. I don’t really remember what happened, but a few minutes later he lay dead on the floor, I was covered with blood and Anya was screaming at me about nearly getting myself killed.”

“Nice.” Octavia said.

“It was pure instinct, nothing more,” Lexa said, her jaw clenched as she looked down at the floor, “I knew what I had to do, I knew what would happen if I didn’t. And 9 years later the Azgeda took her from me anyway, my actions that day meant nothing.”

“Your actions that day saved her life.” Octavia countered, “your actions that day gave her the chance to live her life, that never counts for nothing.”

Lexa nodded a little, knowing deep down that Octavia was right.

“What was she like?” Octavia asked, “I mean I’ve always wondered how different she was to Clarke…”

“They are polar opposites.” Lexa said with a soft smile, “as different as day to night. They are similar in their need to talk about things, Costia was much more of a diplomat than she was a fighter. She hated violence, but it was something that she unfortunately grew used to…”

“Clarke was like that at first,” Octavia said, smiling a little as Lexa looked up at her, “when we first got down here, Bellamy was all action all the time, and Clarke was the one who was all ‘slow down a minute idiot, you’re going to get us all killed’.”

“The ground has changed her…” Lexa said sadly.

“It’s changed us all.” Octavia agreed.

“I feel that is in large part down to me,” The Commander said, “it was my army which was trying to kill you, after all.”

“Don’t blame you really,” the younger girl said, “I cannot imagine how weird it must have been for you to have this thing fall out of the sky and land in your territory.”

“We heard stories as children,” Lexa said, “stories that had been passed down through our people. We were told about how, before the bombs, they sent people to live in space. When we were children we would lay out in the field, looking up at the stars, thinking about whether anyone up there was looking back at us.”

“Clarke did,” Octavia replied, shaking her head when Lexa looked questioningly at her, “when she was in isolation in the Sky Box, she would spend all the time she could looking out of her tiny window, dreaming about what it would be like to live on Earth. She used to draw in her cell, I still don’t know how she got the charcoal brought in, I think her mom was sneaking it in to her. There was not a flat surface of that room that didn’t have something drawn on it, a tree, some kind of animal that she had learnt about in history class…”

“Has she drawn anything while she’s been here?” Lexa asked.

“There were a few things in the dropship, sketches on walls that she made using the burnt sticks from the fire,” Octavia said, thinking back to try and remember, “other than that, I don’t think so.”

Lexa made a mental note to get Clarke some drawing equipment when she returned to Polis.

“You’re planning what to get her when we get back aren’t you?” Octavia asked, a smirk on her lips.

“Yes,” Lexa admitted, a slight blush creeping onto her cheeks, “it may help with her nightmares. I recall Anya telling me about a warrior that she once knew, his mind became so broken by what he had seen, what he had done, he could not hold a sword any longer. But his mind was calm when he was drawing. It may help Clarke.”

“That’s what she has you for.” Octavia said, her eyes narrowing as Lexa shook her head a little, “I’m serious. You know she was having nightmares at the Camp, has she had any when she’s been with you?”

“Not while she was sleeping at night, no,” Lexa replied honestly, “she did have one the day after Nia’s men took Neva…”

“And you weren’t with her then, were you?” The younger girl asked.

Lexa shook her head in reply.

“You’re good for her.” The other girl admitted, “never thought I’d say that.”

“I’m not good for anyone Octavia,” Lexa countered, “people who are close to me have a way of ending up leading very short lives…”

“None of their deaths was your fault,” Octavia said, leaning forward in her chair, resting her arms on her knees, “except maybe Gustus, cause you know… but none of those people were killed because of how… yeah that won’t work either…”

Lexa looked at her, an amused look in her eyes.

“I’ll figure it out,” Octavia said, holding her hand up, “just give me a minute.”

“My parents were killed because they were my parents,” Lexa said, “any relatives I had in Tondc were killed, Anya was shot by your people when she was trying to get a message to me, Gustus was killed by my own sword… And Costia…she was tortured, killed and had her head cut off because she loved me.”

Lexa stood up and started retrieving her armour from the floor, moving it all over to the side of the tent where she would be able to find it in the morning.

“Well when you put it like that…” Octavia said with a shrug, “is that why you left them all in Polis?”

Lexa looked over at her, questioningly.

“Kassius, Indra and Luna.” Octavia said, “I understand leaving Luna there, someone has to watch over the city while you’re not there, but Indra and Kassius…”

“A matter may arise that Luna cannot attend to alone.” Lexa said, putting a dagger underneath her pillow before she sat back down.

“That is the biggest pile of bullshit that I have ever heard come out of your mouth.” Octavia replied, completely forgetting who she was talking to for a moment, “which I obviously mean respectfully, Commander…”

The small smile that tugged at Lexa’s lips caused Octavia to laugh.

“In all seriousness though…” Octavia started to say.

“So you were not serious about being respectful?” Lexa asked.

“Well… yeah, of course I was…” Octavia replied, stumbling over her words.

“Use your words, Octavia.” Lexa said, repeating something that she heard Raven say to Octavia more than once.

“It would be a lot easier to use my words if I wasn’t worrying about being tied to a tree for pissing you off, if I say something wrong…” Octavia said.

“I think we’re past that, don’t you.” The Commander replied with a smile, “but yes, in answer to your question, that is why I left them in Polis. I could not sleep last night; I knew that I would have a choice to make this morning. I could bring Clarke with me, or I could leave her in Polis. I do not know what we are going to find when we get to the Ice Nation capitol, or what we are going to have to fight through to even get there. A power vacuum has formed with Nia dead, that is a dangerous time for the Azgeda. When I die we have trials and rituals to find the next Heda, they have nothing like that. Their leaders are not born; they are the most brutal. So I decided that it would be safer, for everyone, if Clarke remained in Polis. She may need someone to talk to while you are not there, while Bellamy is not there… while I am not there… which is why I left Kassius behind. I do not know what is going to happen in Polis while I am not there, which is why I left Indra behind. Even with her constant reminders to me about how Clarke talks to much, how she is like a child… she will protect her.”

“Why did you bring me, if you don’t mind me asking?” Octavia said, “I mean, I’m not the best fighter you have in Polis, by a long shot. I can’t even take Clarke down…”

“I see something in you that Anya once saw in me,” Lexa said, slowly walking around the tent, blowing out most of the candles, “you may not be the strongest or the fastest. You may not be the most skilled with a blade. But you have passion, Octavia, you do not know how to fail, you never give up. I need a warrior like you with me.”

“Well shucks Commander, you’re getting me all emotional.” Octavia said as she stood up, “I hope you get some sleep.”

Lexa returned to her bed as Octavia walked towards the entrance to the tent.

“Octavia…” Lexa said before the girl left, causing her to stop and turn around, “thank you…”

Octavia nodded her head once, smiled a little, and left the tent.

“You were in there a long time.” Bellamy said, putting his arm around Octavia’s shoulders as she walked back to the fire.

“Badass warrior bonding time.” Octavia said with a nod.

“Is she okay?” he asked in reply.

“You actually sound like you care.” Octavia said as she looked at him, “wow, oh sweet and caring brother of mine, you’ve stepped over to the dark side and joined Team Commander.”

“I have not.” Bellamy replied pushing her a little, “But we talked. I can see how much she cares about Clarke…”

“Cares about isn’t the right term,” Octavia said glancing back at Lexa’s tent as the last candle flame was blown out, “I think she would be lost without knowing that Clarke was alive somewhere on this planet.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really don't know if I like this part, but I'm posting it anyway. It's a lot shorter than usual. I'm hoping to have this story finished before Season 3 starts, so I'll be updating again soon hopefully. Let me know what you think. (stupid notes at the end still won't go away)

 

 

Clarke walked into the tech room that Lexa had set up for Raven to find Neva sitting on the floor surrounded by electronics of different kinds. There were beaten old radios, monitors, and piles of mangled metal that Clarke couldn’t name. Raven herself was sitting at a work bench.

“What about this?” Neva said, holding up a large metal ring.

“Too big.” Raven replied.

Neva threw it over her shoulder, very nearly hitting Clarke with it as neither Raven nor Neva had seen or heard the blonde girl enter the room.

“Watch where you’re throwing that…whatever it was.” Clarke said, causing the younger girl to look over at her.

“It was a washer,” Raven said, not looking up from what she was doing, “not sure what it was in, but it must have been something big. How did you sleep?”

“Badly,” Clarke replied as she walked over to the workbench, “I think I slept for about an hour.”

“Can’t sleep without Lexa huh?” Raven asked.

“It was just a bad night.” Clarke said with a small smile.

“What about this one?” Neva asked, holding up a smaller washer for Raven to see.

“That might work.” Raven replied, causing Neva to stand up and walk over to the table.

“So,” Clarke said, looking at Neva and Raven, “what are we building today?”

“I need to repair the camera on the drone,” Raven replied, “that small minor explosion the other day damaged it.”

“What do you need the camera working for?” the blonde asked, “I thought we were just going to send it back and blow it up.”

“We don’t know what else is in the building,” Neva said as she watched Raven work, “maybe she has something important, maybe there are people there… if we blow it up we might hurt someone.”

“Jaha was there,” Raven said, glancing at Clarke, “we know that. We also know that Murphy and a couple of others went with him, what if Murphy is still there.”

“He shot you in the back, Raven,” Clarke replied, “or have we forgotten that?”

“He’s not all bad…” Raven said, “we’ve lost enough friends already, I don’t want to randomly start blowing them up if I can help it.”

“Okay,” Clarke said with a nod, “so we send it back with the camera working, then what?”

“I’m hoping I can use it to find where she has the nuke,” the other girl replied, “before the explosion I had it hooked up to the tablet that Bellamy brought with him, I can use that to see what’s going on in the building.”

“But we’ll still need to get close enough for that to work, right?” Clarke asked, “I mean I know you and Lexa are getting on better than you were, but I still don’t think she’ll let you put a huge radio tower on the roof.”

“Yeah,” Raven said with a nod, “Wick is taking care of that, apparently they found a couple of cars in the Mountain.”

“Cars…” Clarke replied, “you want to drive there?”

“You make it sound like a bad idea.” Raven said with a smirk as she looked at Clarke.

“We were born in space, Raven,” Clarke said, “none of us can drive, it’s a terrible idea.”

“Oh come on princess,” the other girl replied with a laugh, “live a little, what’s the worst that could happen.”

“You crash and die.” Clarke said matter-of-factly.

“Have a little faith.” Raven said.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“Do we know what to expect when we get there?” Bellamy asked as they continued to make their way through the forest.

“Not yet,” Echo replied, “Heda has sent a couple of scouts ahead, they will let us know what is happening.”

“So we could be riding into a trap…” he said, “great, my favourite type of thing.”

“Say we get there and they’re fighting,” Octavia said, bringing her horse up next to Bellamy and Echo, “are they likely to attack us, I mean we have Heda with us.”

“To some parts of the Azgeda that will make us more of a target,” Echo replied, looking over at the younger girl, “many of my people do not like Heda… they would take any opportunity to kill her.”

“I thought that was just because Nia didn’t like her.” Octavia said.

“Some time ago Heda killed many Azgeda warriors,” Echo said, “her armies slaughtered entire villages, many people still remember that.”

“It was war, people die.” The younger girl stated.

“It was genocide.” Echo replied.

“Is that why the Azgeda joined the coalition?” Bellamy asked.

“It is one of the reasons,” Echo said with a nod, “Nia knew that she could not defeat Heda’s armies. There were warriors from 11 clans, even with every one of our people fighting we would stand no chance. They were not taking prisoners; they were just killing everybody.”

“Nia understood what would happen the day she returned Costia’s head to me.” Lexa said, glancing back at them from where she was riding, “She had her chance to end the slaughter and she did not take it.”

“What would it have taken?” Octavia asked, “What would have made you stop?”

“Roan.” Lexa replied, as if that was explanation enough.

Octavia looked at Echo when it became clear that Lexa wasn’t going to elaborate further.

“Roan is Nia’s son,” Echo said, “he is the one who ended Costia’s life. Though it was Nia’s choice to kill her, Roan is the one who did it.”

“You went to war over one man?” Bellamy asked.

“No,” Lexa replied, “the Azgeda were attacking villages and towns along the northern border of my territory, enough was enough. Roan was simply the catalyst which made me see that.”

“What happened to him?” Octavia asked, looking between Echo and Lexa.

“When we joined the coalition he was banished,” Echo said, “cast out of the clan. There have been many rumours, many sightings. He apparently commands a small army of exiles, though nothing was ever done about it. Nia was the only one who knew where he was, though she denied such knowledge.”

“Maybe it’s him fighting…” Octavia said, “you know, wanting to replace his mother as the leader of your people.”

“Perhaps.” Echo said with a nod.

“If that is the case,” Lexa said, looking back at them again, “then he will die.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke sat and watched a group of children playing near the clinic, Neva was with her, though the young girl showed no interest in joining in the games.

“Why don’t you go and play?” Clarke asked, looking at the younger girl.

“They have not asked me.” Neva replied.

“So why don’t you ask them?” the blonde girl said, “Just go over and ask if you can play with them.”

Neva shook her head.

“Well I’m going to go and ask them,” Clarke said as she stood up, “you can stay here if you want.”

Clarke walked over to the group of children, a few of them stopped what they were doing and looked at her, one stepped towards her.

“You killed the mountain.” The young boy said.

“I’m Clarke,” Clarke said with a small smile, as she crouched down so she was on the boys level, “what’s your name?”

“Malakai,” he replied with a nod, holding his arm out towards Clarke, “but everyone calls me Kai.”

“It’s nice to meet you Kai.” Clarke replied, gripping the young boys arm between the wrist and elbow in the traditional Grounder way.

“Would you like to play with us?” Kai asked.

“I’d like that very much.” Clarke said with a small smile, “what are you playing?”

“Warriors.” He replied, “we beat Heda, but we would not be able to beat you.”

“Heda is more powerful than I am,” Clarke said with a laugh as she stood up, “would it be okay if my friend played too?”

Kai looked over at where Neva was sitting before he looked back at Clarke.

“She is Azgeda.” He said.

“No,” Clarke said, shaking her head, “she is Trikru.”

“Are you sure?” Kai asked.

“Yes,” Clarke replied, “I am very sure. Can I tell you a secret?”

Kai nodded and Clarke crouched back down again.

“She is Heda’s sister.” Clarke said quietly, smiling a little as Kai’s eyes grew a little wider.

Kai looked back at another of the children, a little girl that Clarke recognised from the feast when the Sky People had first arrived in Polis.

“This is my sister,” Kai said to Clarke, “Ariah.”

“We’re already friends.” Clarke said with a smile as Ariah nodded.

Kai whispered something to Ariah who nodded and walked over to where Neva was sitting.

“Would you like to come play?” Ariah asked, Neva nodded a little and stood up, following the girl back to where Clarke was standing.

“Neva,” Clarke said, “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

Neva furrowed her brow a little and looked confused.

“What did Lexa say…” Clarke said, to which Neva took off her sword which she was carrying at her back and handed it to Clarke, “thank you.”

“Is that a really real sword?” Kai asked, looking at the small sword that Clarke held.

“My sister gave me it.” Neva said with a nod.

“I’m going to go and put this in the clinic, okay, so it doesn’t get lost.” Clarke said to Neva, who nodded.

As Clarke walked back to the clinic she turned and looked back to see Kai explaining the game they were playing to Neva. When she reached the clinic doorway she saw her mother, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Is she making friends?” Abby asked.

“Yeah, I think she is.” Clarke said with a nod.

“And you’re sure Lexa isn’t going to mind?” Abby asked.

“I don’t see why she would,” Clarke replied, “it’ll be good for Neva to hang out with kids her own age, the only other kid she has to hang out with is Raven.”

“Raven is older than you are.” Abby said with a laugh.

“I wonder about that sometimes,” Clarke said with a laugh of her own, “Can I put this inside, don’t want Neva ending someone’s fight for real by accident.”

“Sure.” Abby said with a smile as she stepped aside and let Clarke into the clinic.

Abby followed Clarke into the clinic.

“Now that I’ve got you here,” Abby said, “how’s your shoulder?”

“It’s fine,” Clarke replied with a small nod, “the itching stopped.”

“Can I have a look at it?” her mom asked, “just to set my mind at ease.”

“I should probably keep an eye on Neva…” Clarke said, looking to the doorway of the clinic.

“She’ll be fine for a few minutes.” Abby said.

“Okay.” Clarke said, knowing that her mom wasn’t going to let her walk out of the clinic without taking a look at her shoulder, she sat on the bed and took off her jacket and slipped her left arm out of the top she was wearing.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

After the evening meal Clarke was making her way up the stairs, her lack of sleep the night before was catching up with her, before she had made it to the first landing she heard shouting and raised voices coming from outside. As she got back downstairs she saw Kassius holding a man she had never seen before with both his arms up behind his back.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked as she saw Luna and Indra following Kassius.

“Ripa.” Indra replied, motioning with her head to the man that Kassius was holding.

“Who did he kill?” Clarke asked with a sigh.

“Nobody, yet,” Luna said, “one of the guards caught him attempting to scale the walls of the building, he’s Azgeda.”

“Why are you here?” Clarke asked, stepping towards the man who just looked at her as if he didn’t understand what she was saying, “does he speak English?”

“He did a moment ago.” Kassius replied.

“Let’s try it this way then…” Clarke said looking at Kassius before she looked back at the man, “Ron ai ridiyo op.”

“I was sent.” He replied in broken English.

“Why?” Clarke asked.

“For you.” He said with a smile, “Roan wants your head.”

“Who the hell is Roan?” Clarke asked as she looked at Luna.

“Lock him up.” Luna said to Kassius, ignoring what Clarke had said.

“Luna…” Clarke said, stopping the older woman as she tried to walk past her, “who’s Roan?”

“A ghost.” Luna said as she looked at the blonde girl, before she looked to Indra, “double the patrols.”

“Should I send word to Heda?” Indra asked.

“No,” Luna replied shaking her head, “she needs a clear head.”

Indra nodded a little and walked back outside, as Luna looked at Clarke.

“Roan is the one who killed Costia,” she said, “he’s Nia’s son. She banished him from the Azgeda when they joined the coalition. They know Lexa isn’t here, which makes you a target.”

“How do they know she isn’t here?” Clarke asked.

“There’s a spy within the city walls.” Luna replied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ron ai ridiyo op - Speak true


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter chapter than most, but this was due an update. Lexa's journey to the Azgeda territory continues with surprising results.

 

The weather started to take a turn for the worst the more they headed North. They had missed a lot of the small towns and villages along the route, taking the horses the quickest way to the Ice Nation. Lexa didn’t want to be away from Polis for any longer than she had to. They had already been gone for close to a week, before they left she had worked out that it should take them four days to reach the Azgeda capitol, but they’d had to stop more often than she had hoped, she hadn’t taken Echo’s recent injury into account when she had been thinking about the trip.

She had known that killing Nia would leave a power vacuum in the North, though she had hoped that the people of the Azgeda could deal with it themselves as Nia’s actions had left the treaty they had null and void, Lexa knew if she had any hope of getting them back into the coalition, and saving her people in the north of her own territory from reliving the decades of fighting, she had to look like she was making an effort. Echo had told her of a warrior, not much younger than Lexa herself, who had the backing of a large number of the Azgeda warriors. A warrior who had been banished from Azgeda territory when Nia started viewing her as a threat. Lexa hoped that some semblance of peace could be reached. She had put too much of her life, and lost too much of herself, in uniting the 12 clans for it to all fall apart now.

“There is a village not far from here,” Echo said as they continued to ride, “the ground is much too cold for us to set up a camp, we will be welcome there.”

Lexa glanced back at her and gave a small nod. She was putting a lot of trust in Echo, the girl had never betrayed her before, but Lexa knew there was always a first time for everything.

“How much longer before we’re likely to reach the capitol?” Octavia asked, not really knowing who she expected to answer, but hoping someone would.

“A day,” Lexa replied, “we should hopefully reach the capitol tomorrow. The scout reports indicated that there is little to no fighting around the capitol itself, if we stick to the out-lying villages on our approach we should go undetected.”

“Would the fact that we’re staying in a village tonight not cause someone to let whoever is currently holding the capitol know that you’re on the way?” the younger girl asked.

“Quite possibly.” Lexa said with a small nod, “which is why everyone is on alert. Do not worry Octavia, an attack will be seen before it happens.”

“You hope…” Bellamy said quietly.

“I know you do not trust me Bellamy…” Lexa said.

“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t trust you Lexa.” Bellamy replied, interrupting her.

“I assumed you decided to accept the invitation to assure that Echo remains safe.” She said, looking over her shoulder at him, noticing him look slightly embarrassed, she smirked a little, “you two are not as… what’s the word…”

Lexa looked at Octavia.

“Inconspicuous?” the younger girl asked.

“That is a good word,” Lexa said with a nod, “but it has been obvious that something is developing between you two since Echo arrived in Polis.”

“That is one of the reasons I’m here.” Bellamy admitted, “another reason is that Clarke would kick my ass if anything happened to you, you’re important to her, which means you are important to me.”

“I appreciate the concern, Bellamy.” Lexa said with a small smile as she looked at him.

The rest of the ride to the village was done in silence, everyone paying attention to the dense forest around them. A few of Lexa’s warriors had ridden on ahead to alert the village Elders that Lexa would be staying there.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

After another uneasy night for the Commander, the group continued their journey to the Azgeda capitol. Just being in Azgeda territory made Lexa uncomfortable, memories of Costia swam through her head.

“We’re not alone Heda…” Lincoln said as he rode his horse up next to Lexa’s.

“How many?” Lexa asked, keeping her eyes forward.

“At least 15 that have been counted.” He replied.

“Weapons?” she asked.

“Most are only carrying swords,” he said, “they have been following us since we left the village.”

“As they are only carrying swords that tells me they are not attempting to attack us,” Lexa said, glancing off into the forest, “nor have they made any move to stop us. Alert the warriors and wait for my signal.”

“Sha, Heda.” Lincoln said, dropping back again.

They rode on for another half a mile before the road they were travelling was blocked by two men on horses. Lexa held her hand up, stopping her warriors. Octavia stopped her horse next to Lexa.

“We’re here to escort you to the capitol Commander.” One of the men said.

“On whose authority?” Lexa asked.

“Our leader.” He replied with a small smile, “this area is very dangerous, she wishes to ensure you arrive in one piece, she is very interested to find out why the great Commander Lexa is in Azgeda territory unannounced.”

“And who is your leader?” Lexa asked in reply.

“Ontari.” He said.

Lexa glanced back at Echo who nodded a little.

“Very well.” Lexa said with a sigh, “lead the way.”

“I don’t like this…” Octavia said quietly.

“Neither do I,” Lexa replied, “but we must give her the benefit of the doubt for now. A treaty cannot be made without some semblance of trust on both sides.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“You may bring in 5 people with you.” One of the guard said as Lexa and her people were escorted into the building.

“Only 5?” Lexa asked, going over the options in her head, “Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, Echo and Ryder. The rest of you wait outside.”

The warriors nodded and turned around and left the building. The guard opened the door and they walked into a room which was bare of furniture apart from a throne, not unlike Lexa’s own, which sat on a raised platform. As they walked forward Lexa counted at least 30 people in the room, all armed. She kept her eyes fixed on the girl sitting on the throne, who had a small smirk playing on her lips.

“Weapons.” The girl said.

“We both know that isn’t going to happen.” Lexa replied, her hand on the hilt of her sword.

The sound of swords being unsheathed rang out through the room. Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, Echo and Ryder formed a semi-circle around Lexa, their weapons drawn. The Commander herself didn’t react.

“State your business, Commander.” The girl said, shifting slightly on her throne.

Lexa picked up on the movement, it told her that the girl was either not comfortable in her current position, or Lexa being there set her on edge. Either option could work in Lexa’s favour.

“I am here to discuss the current predicament your people find themselves in.” Lexa replied, “with Queen Nia dead, and the treaty she signed broken, your people are in a very dangerous situation.”

“You don’t scare me.” Ontari said.

“The look in your eyes tells me otherwise.” Lexa replied with a smirk, “this can work one of two ways, you agree to my terms and the Azgeda rejoin the coalition under your rule, or I leave here, return to Polis and you ready yourselves for a war you cannot win.”

“You are outnumbered, Commander,” Ontari said, standing up from her seat, “you are in my city, surrounded by my warriors. You presume to tell me what to do?”

“If my information is correct, your current position is not stable,” Lexa said, “you have hostile forces pushing in from the south and west. The towns and villages in the south do not recognise you as their leader. Do you really believe that these warriors are willing to die for you, because mine are.”

“If I may, Heda…” Echo said.

Lexa nodded a little.

“If you wish for the Azgeda to survive, I suggest you take the Commanders offer,” Echo said, “I am aware of your history, I know why Nia cast you out and I know the forces that you have. I also know that you will lose if you refuse this offer. Your people will not back you when they find out that Heda offered you peace. Do not lead our people into a war we cannot win.”

“The other clans fear the Azgeda,” Ontari said, “with good reason. Your people slaughtered my village, Commander.”

“And your people slaughtered mine.” Lexa replied, “nobody has to die today.”

“I will… consider your offer.” Ontari said.

“Consider it quickly.” Lexa said, “it is not open ended.”

Ontari sat back down.

“I will remain in your city for 24 hours. If any of my people are harmed, I will take that as your response,” Lexa said, “and you will pay for that with your life. I am not somebody to be trifled with. You will die, your warriors will die, and your people will die.”

“I am the only person stopping Roan taking control of the Azgeda,” Ontari said, “with your personal history with him I assume you would not like that option.”

“Do not threaten me,” Lexa said, stepping forward a little, “you will not live long enough to regret it.”

Lexa turned and walked from the room, Octavia, Lincoln, Bellamy, Echo and Ryder following her.

“Heda,” Echo said, “I know of somewhere that will be safe for us to stay while we are here.”

“Lead the way.” Lexa said as they walked from the building and towards the waiting group of warriors.

The group followed Echo down a side road from the main building, Lexa could see that she was leading them towards what looked like an old barracks. Echo knocked on the door.

“Echo.” The man who opened the door said with a smile, “it is good to see you, we assumed that you were killed when Nia arrived in Polis.”

“Injured, not killed.” She said, “I need to know where your loyalties lie…”

“We are loyal to Polis, to Heda.” He said.

“I was hoping you’d say that.” She replied.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“Do we know what her forces are?” Lexa asked, looking around the table of gathered Azgeda warriors.

“It is not clear,” Tobias replied, “she holds the capitol and some smaller cities and towns to the North. Roan holds the west and part of the south, the rest of the south and east is held by rebels who are loyal to you.”

“Which explains why we were able to travel freely that way to get here.” Bellamy said with a nod.

“Where is Roan?” Lexa asked.

“We don’t know,” Tobias said, shaking his head a little, “our scouts report him leaving Azgeda territory two days ago.”

“Heading where?” Echo asked, looking between Tobias and Lexa.

“Polis.” Tobias replied.

“Clarke…” Lexa said quietly.

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go with another update of this. Hope you all enjoy, drop me a comment or something and let me know (IF the notes at the end are still there, then ignore them, they just won't seem to go away). Enjoy.

 

 

While she had been sitting in the room that she would be using as her bedroom while in the old barracks building, Lexa had considered all the options open to her. Her heart was screaming at her to return to Polis, if Roan was indeed on his way there it wouldn’t end well for anyone, he had been the one who killed Costia after all. She had done her duty before, putting her people above Clarke, and the blonde had known that Lexa would make the same choice again if she had to, but with everything how it was now between the two the decision wasn’t simple for Lexa anymore.

This decision, and its end result, didn’t have the lives of thousands of her people resting on it. Roan wasn’t going to kill everyone in Polis, but he would kill Clarke without question. She had told Ontari that she would remain in the Azgeda capitol for 24 hours, she had to stand by that. Lexa knew, based on what the warriors had said, Roan was already two days into his journey to Polis, there was nothing she could do about that.

A soft knock on the door snapped her from her thoughts.

“Yes…” she said.

“Food is nearly ready.” Octavia said as she opened the door.

“Thank you.” Lexa replied with a nod.

“I was so sure you were going to tell me you weren’t hungry again.” The younger girl said.

“I am not hungry,” Lexa said, realising that this wasn’t going to be the quick conversation she had hoped for, but knowing that she couldn’t just send the other girl away, “but I am aware how futile it would be to tell you that.”

“Glad you’re learning.” Octavia said with a small smile, “Heda, what are you going to do about Roan going to Polis?”

“There is nothing that I can do,” Lexa replied, “even with the fastest, strongest horse it would take me two days to get there. Roan will be there within a day. He will reach Clarke before I could. I have to trust that my instincts, leaving Luna, Indra and Kassius there, was the right thing.”

Lexa heard someone else approach the door where Octavia was still standing, she watched as Octavia spoke quietly to whoever it was, before the younger girl looked back at her.

“What is it?” Lexa asked, standing up from where she had been sitting.

Octavia stepped into the room, followed by Bellamy.

“Tobias just told me that to the south of this city a small group has been seen,” Bellamy said, “they put the numbers at between 30 and 50. All speak English and they live in what he described as a metal structure…”

“More Skaikru?” Lexa asked.

“Could be,” Bellamy said with a nod, “when the Ark fell, there was more than one section that was brought down. We found one other person when we were exploring back when the only Grounders we knew were Anya and her group. We’ve heard nothing from any other part of the station, we thought everyone else was dead.”

“Abby and Kane basically said if we hadn’t heard anything from any of them by now, then it was safe to say that our section of the Ark was the only part that survived.” Octavia said, “With everything that has gone on in the last few months, with the Mountain and everything else, they haven’t had the chance to search for others.”

“If the others are in Azgeda territory then it is possibly a good thing that you didn’t search for them,” Lexa said, “a treaty with the Trikru would not carry through Azgeda lands. It may have started a war. But I do not understand why Nia wouldn’t have done something about it. She would probably have killed them without question, which leads me to believe that she did not know.”

“Tobias said that she probably wasn’t aware of them,” Bellamy said with a nod, “they are pretty well hidden in the forest and keep to themselves.”

“How have they survived for four months…” Octavia said, more to herself than anyone else.

“Once we have done what needs to be done here, we will find out.” Lexa said.

“You don’t have to do that.” Bellamy replied, “that will take time away from us getting back to Polis.”

“I have to trust that Clarke is safe,” the Commander said with a sigh, “Luna is the leader of her people, and that is not because of her personality. Indra is one of the very few people I would trust with my life; you do not survive in this world to her age in her position if you do not know how to take care of yourself. Kassius is more than just someone I trust to talk to. Each of them is more than capable of ensuring that Clarke and Neva are safe.”

Octavia and Bellamy shared a look, they were both surprised at the way Lexa was talking, she actually sounded like she believed what she was saying.

“Another factor,” Lexa continued, “and an important one, when we return to Polis, if Clarke finds out that I had been told that more of your people had survived, she would likely not be too happy with me if I had done nothing about it.”

The Blake siblings laughed a little at that.

“The Skaikru were lucky that your section of the Ark landed where it did,” Lexa said, “as terrifying as you found Anya, and myself, if you had landed elsewhere you all may very well be dead already. We will find this other section of your Ark, perhaps your people could return to your camp. I will, of course, need you two with me when I talk to them. Me and my warriors arriving at their camp will probably scare them into doing something that would be stupid.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling, this was obviously going to be yet another night where she couldn’t sleep. She had spent the day with Neva, Raven and a few of the kids that Neva had been playing with outside the clinic. The kids had taken her and Raven on a mini adventure around Polis, it had certainly been a day that both Clarke and Raven enjoyed, even with the two new shadows that Clarke had in the form of Indra and Kassius. Every time she left Lexa’s compound they would follow her, she understood why, well part of her did. As nobody would explain to her who this Roan was, the guy who apparently wanted her head, she had to assume that Indra and Kassius were trailing her to ensure that she was safe. After the first few hours she had forgotten that they were there.

Clarke had also spent some more time down in the cells, talking to Jaha. She was still fairly certain that he had lost his mind, but she needed to know all she could about A.L.I.E and what was going to happen. He didn’t tell her much more than she already knew.

She heard the bedroom door open slowly, turning her head to look she found that it was Luna.

“Checking that I’m still here?” Clarke asked as she sat up in the bed.

“The guards outside would’ve told me if you had tried to leave.” Luna replied, walking into the room.

Clarke lit the candle next to the bed as Luna walked over to the fire that was still softly burning in the fireplace. She added more wood to it before sitting in the chair which was nearby.

“Who is Roan?” Clarke asked as she got out of bed and walked over to the other chair.

As she sat down she saw Luna’s jaw clench a little and her eyes narrow, whoever Roan was he obviously didn’t bring back the best memories for Luna.

“I think I deserve to know why he wants my head.” Clarke said as she looked at the older woman, “you told me he was a ghost, what did you mean by that?”

“Roan has been a hunted man for the last few years,” Luna replied, not looking at Clarke, choosing instead to keep her eyes fixed on the fire, “he has been impossible to find.”

“Who is he?” the blonde asked.

“He is the man who ended my sister’s life.” Luna said, “though Nia ordered it, he is the one who did it, and now he is coming for you. When the Azgeda joined the coalition, Nia cast him out, banished him. Nobody has known for certain where he was after that, though it is widely believed that Nia knew where he was, and that he was hiding somewhere within Azgeda territory.”

“And nobody decided to go and check?” Clarke asked.

“It is not as simple as that.” Luna said, shaking her head a little, “Azgeda territory spans for thousands of miles, there are mountain ranges that are inaccessible for most of the year due to the freezing temperatures and ice. There are many places that he could have been hiding where people would never find him. Lexa couldn’t send people to Azgeda territory to find him without it drawing attention, and that would make it appear that she didn’t trust Nia enough to take her at her word.”

“Which she didn’t…” Clarke said.

“That mistrust, though evident to those who know Lexa, could have caused the coalition to weaken.” The older woman said, “It would have been easy for Nia to use it to her advantage, and Lexa never did anything that Nia would be able to use against her.”

“So she just let it go?” the blonde asked.

“Lexa’s smart,” Luna said with a small smile, “she knew that Roan would resurface one day, and when he did she would get her chance. It is something that we should have considered, ending Nia’s life is the likely reason that he has chosen now to come out of hiding. Without Nia his protection amongst the Azgeda is gone. He will not be welcomed back into their clan, most know what had done.”

“Who was he to Nia?” Clarke asked as she sat forward a little in the chair.

“Her son.” Luna replied.

“Blood must have blood…” Clarke said quietly, “Lexa killed his mother, so in your culture that means that…”

“Yes.” Luna said with a nod, “death must be avenged, it is our way.”

“It’s a way for everyone to end up dead,” the blonde replied, “when does it stop… it’s a cycle that can go on and on. Lexa killed Nia, so Roan wants to kill someone she cares about… If he kills me, Lexa is likely to retaliate…”

“If he kills you there will not be an Azgeda man, woman or child left alive when she has finished.” Luna said, “she would wipe out all of their people.”

“That’s genocide.” Clarke stated.

“She wouldn’t care,” Luna replied, “she has lost everything that she cared about to the Azgeda, losing you in the same way would be the final straw and Lexa would not care about the consequences.”

“I’ve been responsible for the end of an entire people,” Clarke said, “those are not nightmares that I would wish on anybody…”

“Your kill count is high,” Luna said with a nod, “especially for the limited amount of time you have been on the ground, but do not think that your kill count compares in any way to Lexa’s. She has killed more people than you have seen in your life. Uniting the 12 clans was not as simple as her visiting each territory to put across her proposition.”

“Nia told me that most clans joined the coalition out of fear that Lexa would wipe them out.” Clarke replied.

“I wouldn’t word it in that way,” Luna said, “she didn’t go around clan by clan and threaten their end if they didn’t join the coalition, but she did make it clear to them that life would be better for everyone if we were one united people.”

“Your people were one of the first clans to join weren’t you?” Clarke asked.

“Yes,” Luna said with a nod and a small smile, “it was a simple choice for me. I have known Lexa for most of her life and the vision that she had for our people, a vision of peace, was one that appealed to me a great deal. From the moment our people left the bunkers after the bombs fell there has been fighting, dying, it needed to stop. Other leaders have tried, and there has been peace between individual clans before. My people and the Trikru have had peace in one form or another for a long time. I myself was born Trikru, but what Lexa imagined was a step beyond anything that anyone thought was possible.”

“Costia thought it was possible.” Clarke said quietly.

“Costia knew a side of Lexa that most people never get to see,” Luna replied, “she knew the girl behind the leader. The same girl that I knew, that Lincoln knew, that Anya knew… Many people do not get to see who Lexa really is.”

“That’s because she doesn’t let people see who she really it.” Clarke said with a laugh.

“Because the lives of her people would be at risk if she did,” Luna said, “she has to put across this impenetrable image, someone who cannot be broken, when in actual fact she has been nothing but broken for the last few years. Until she met you…”

“They’ve been gone for nearly a week,” Clarke said, changing the subject because she didn’t really want to get into her relationship with Lexa, “with no word…”

“In this case no news is actually good news,” Luna said, “if anything had happened to Lexa, news of that would travel quickly, we would know by now. The fact that there has been no word means that all is as well as it can be.”

“I should’ve got Bellamy to take a radio or something…” Clarke said.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Lexa had finally managed to finally fall asleep when a knock on the door woke her up. Rubbing her eyes, she grumbled to herself as she got out of the bed and walked to the door.

“Sorry to disturb you, Heda,” Tobias said as Lexa opened the door, bowing his head a little, “Ontari just sent word that she would like to meet you to discuss terms.”

“Is her messenger still here?” Lexa asked.

“Yes,” he replied, “though he has said that she wishes to meet you now.”

“Send him back to her and tell her that I will meet her in the morning,” Lexa said, “she does not get to decide to wake me in the middle of the night and demand that I see her. She will wait until I am ready.”

“Yes, Heda.” Tobias said with a small smile, bowing his head again before he walked away.

Lexa closed the door and walked back over to the bed, she lay there looking at the ceiling, hoping that sleep would once again find her. She knew that it would not be a good idea to go into a meeting with Ontari having had no sleep, as she would probably run the girl through with her sword and she didn’t want to have to worry about finding another Azgeda leader again so soon.


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Murphy arrives in Polis, Lexa meets some more of the Skaikru, Clarke finally realises just how crazy Jaha is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this update, writers block is a bitch. Don't forget to drop me a comment, let me know what you think, comments always make it easier to write as it's helpful to know what people are thinking. Enjoy.

 

Clarke was woken up by someone shaking her lightly, she grumbled as she opened her eyes and saw Kassius.

“Please tell me this is important,” Clarke said, “I would hate to have to get Lexa to kill you when she gets back just because you decided to wake me up.”

“It’s important.” He replied with what Clarke could only describe as a smirk.

“She’d do it; you know…” the blonde said with a yawn.

“I do not doubt that.” Kassius said, “now you need to get up. Someone was found walking around Polis less than an hour ago, he claims he is Skaikru.”

“What do you mean, he claims to be Skaikru?” Clarke asked, her interested well and truly now in the conversation.

“Indra believes him to be familiar, but she is unaware of why,” Kassius replied, “it would be easier if you talked to the boy, he is refusing to talk to anyone.”

“Okay,” Clarke said with a sigh and a nod, “I’ll be downstairs in a few minutes.”

Kassius nodded a little and left the room, leaving Clarke to get changed before she went downstairs. It was still dark, the blonde couldn’t help but grumble about how on the night she finally got some sleep, something just had to happen. Raven was already downstairs waiting, along with Luna and Indra.

“If he’s Skaikru,” Raven said, “that means he has to come from our camp, so why didn’t someone radio ahead or something.”

“I was going to put him downstairs,” Luna said, looking at Clarke, “but I believed that the first experience of Polis for one of your people should not be a holding cell.”

“Thank you.” Clarke said with a small smile, “okay, Raven, you’re with me, could the rest of you wait outside the room?”

“Take Kassius with you.” Luna replied, Clarke knew it wasn’t a request.

Clarke rolled her eyes a little, but nodded anyway.

She opened the door to the room that Luna had led her to, it was dark, she couldn’t see properly.

“Candles were lit…” Kassius said as they walked into the room.

“Where’s Emori?” a voice asked.

“Murphy?” Clarke asked in reply, the shock pretty evident in her voice.

“Oh great, if it isn’t the Princess.” Murphy said as Kassius lit the candles around the room again.

“Nice to see you too asshole.” Clarke replied with a small smile.

“The girl I was with, Emori, where is she?” Murphy asked.

“I don’t know, but I can find out.” Clarke said before she looked at Kassius, “where was she taken?”

“She was taken downstairs.” Kassius replied, “she is known to Luna, she is…”

“Can you bring her up here?” Clarke asked.

“It will not be that easy.” Kassius said.

“Why not?” Clarke asked in reply.

“She is a criminal; she has been wanted by Luna’s people for many months.” He said.

“Well this isn’t Luna’s city, this is Polis.” Clarke said, “and I’m asking you to bring her up here.”

“Luna is not going to be pleased.” Kassius said as he walked towards the door.

“You leave Luna to me.” Clarke replied as Kassius glanced back at her.

Kassius left the room, closing the door behind him.

“What happened to you?” Clarke asked as Murphy sat down on one of the chairs.

“Well, you know we followed Jaha on his stupid-ass mission to find the City of Light?” Murphy asked, to which Clarke, and Raven nodded, “well we found it.”

“Jaha is downstairs in a holding cell,” Clarke said as she sat down, Raven chose to stand, “he was picked up a few weeks ago on his way back to camp. He’s been talking about the AI…”

“A.L.I.E,” Murphy said with a nod, “she’s a piece of work…”

“Can you tell us what she’s doing with the nuke?” Raven asked, her hand resting on the back of Clarke’s chair.

“Can I get something to eat?” Murphy asked, “haven’t eaten anything in a while.”

“Sure.” Clarke replied with a nod before looking at the woman waiting by the door.

“I’ll go and see what’s in the kitchens.” the woman said with a short nod before she left the room.

“The nuke, Murphy…” Raven said.

“She’s already done what she wanted to do,” he replied, looking between Clarke and Raven, “she wanted it to create a power source.”

“Jaha said she plans to restart the human race with it…” Raven said looking at Clarke.

“Oh she does,” Murphy said with a nod, “just not here…”

“Explain.” Raven replied.

“She doesn’t want to restart the human race,” he said with a sigh, “from what I could figure out from Jaha she’s created this place where people can live without pain and suffering, The City of Light.”

“Lexa said it’s a solar panelled field…” Clarke said.

“It’s so much more than that.” Murphy replied, “the panels power a small city of bunkers, which is where I ended up. The City of Light isn’t something you can touch or see, or visit. It’s this… I don’t know, a virtual world. There’s no pain there, no suffering, nothing, it’s this perfect world.”

“If you can’t see it or visit it, how do you get there?” Raven asked, her inner geek fascinated and terrified by what Murphy was saying.

“It’s in the mind or something,” Murphy replied with a shrug, “I only know what Jaha told me, but let’s be honest that guy is batshit crazy.”

“You’re the one that followed him.” Raven said with a small laugh.

“Because I was so accepted back at Camp crazy.” Murphy said sarcastically.

“None of us were really accepted there,” Clarke said, shaking her head a little, “so, this City of Light… A.L.I.E wants us all to live there?”

“I saw this video, while I was in one of the bunkers,” Murphy replied, “she was created by this scientist guy and his genius friends, she was supposed to be used for the betterment of the human race… It didn’t quite work out that way.”

“She set off the first bombs.” Raven said with a nod.

“Which were blamed on China or something, but yeah, it was her.” Murphy said, “they lost control of her, I don’t understand it cause it’s all crazy to me…”

“They created something with an unlimited capacity to learn and evolve, without thinking about the consequences.” Raven said, shaking her head.

“How did she think that setting off the bombs would better the human race?” Clarke asked, not sure who she was asking.

“I actually have a theory about that…” Raven replied, “she would have known that there were people living in space at that point, on the Ark, though when the bombs were dropped it was all still separate stations. Dropping the bombs would have wiped out the human race on Earth, but our people were still in space. We were supposed to come back in another 100 years, by that point everything would be different. Think about it, we’re genetically modified to survive, we barely get sick, there are no physical deformities amongst our people… Mental illness was pretty much unheard of, you lose it you get floated. We were supposed to be her perfect human race…”

“And now we’re here…” Clarke said.

“So now she’s going with plan B, this world that she has created to be perfect,” Raven replied, “what I don’t understand is how we get there.”

Murphy smiled a little and took a small purple chip out of his pocket and put it on the table in front of Clarke.

“What’s that?” Clarke asked.

“That’s how you get to the City of Light.” Murphy said with a shrug.

The door opened and Kassius walked back in with a girl Clarke didn’t know, followed by a woman who had a couple of plates of food. Murphy walked over to the girl.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah…” she nodded looking at Clarke and Raven.

“Not what you were expecting?” Murphy asked the girl with a smile.

“I was expecting the Commander…” Emori said, “this is her city after all.”

“She isn’t here right now,” Clarke replied, “she’ll be back in a few days.”

“How did you go from them wanting you dead to living with them?” Murphy asked Clarke.

“Long story…” the blonde replied with a sigh.

Luna walked into the room and looked at Clarke.

“A word, Sky Girl.” She said.

Clarke rolled her eyes and stood up, following Luna from the room.

“I had her locked up for a reason.” Luna said as soon as Clarke closed the door.

“What reason?” Clarke asked, folding her arms across her chest.

“She is a thief.” Luna replied, “she lives in the Dead Zone with her brother, they are well known amongst my people for stealing and trading things that are dangerous. Tech, mostly. Lexa would not want her walking freely around Polis.”

“Well Lexa isn’t here.” Clarke replied.

“You do not want to push me on this.” Luna said.

“She will not be walking around Polis freely,” Clarke said, “she won’t be going anywhere without a guard with her. She’ll be with Murphy, and even though he is one of my people, he’s unpredictable. Right now I need him here, I need to know what he does about the AI and the City of Light. Once Lexa gets back, she can decide what happens.”

Luna shook her head a little.

“You’re making a mistake.” She said.

“We’ll see…” Clarke replied.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As day broke around Polis, Clarke made her way downstairs to where Jaha was being held, she had Kassius with her. Even though Lexa wasn’t there to answer to, there was something inside her that told her she should take him anyway. Abby and Kane were supposed to be meeting her down there.

“Clarke…” Jaha said as she walked closer to the cell.

“You lied to me.” Clarke said, looking at him.

“About what?” he asked.

“We had a visitor last night,” the blonde said, “Murphy. He told me all about the City of Light, about A.L.I.E, about the nuke. You lied.”

“I told you what you needed to hear.” Jaha replied, “I told you what I was told…”

“What you were told?” Clarke asked, “From what Murphy told me, you can already go to the City of Light, she’s already in your head.”

“It is a wonderful place, Clarke.” Jaha said, “a world unlike anything you have seen. We can live there in peace, we can prosper. There is no pain, no suffering, only life.”

Abby and Kane arrived at the cell.

“What’s all this about Clarke?” Abby asked, “Indra didn’t say much.”

“It seems that our esteemed ex-Chancellor is a little crazier than we thought,” Clarke said, looking from Abby to Jaha, “and he is still a liar. The City of Light isn’t what we thought it was, Lexa was wrong…”

“Lexa believed what she was taught to believe.” Jaha said.

“So what is the City of Light?” Kane asked Clarke.

“From what me and Raven can figure out, from what Murphy told us…” Clarke started to say.

“Murphy’s here?” Abby asked.

“He arrived last night with a Grounder called Emori,” Clarke replied, “they’re upstairs in one of the empty bedrooms right now. But he told us a few things about the AI and what she plans. As far as we can work out right now, we still don’t know everything, but the City of Light isn’t a physical place. It’s a place where your consciousness goes, where your body doesn’t follow. All Jaha seems to be focused on is the lack of pain and suffering there is there…”

“Anything you have done that causes you pain does not exist there,” Jaha said, “the lives you have taken to survive, Clarke, those lives that haunt you every night, they will disappear.”

“I don’t want them to disappear.” Clarke said, stepping closer to the bars, “I need them to remind me what I’ve done so we can survive. They remind me of the lengths I am prepared to go to so that my people survive.”

“People who are living with unbelievable pain and sadness every day,” Jaha countered, “take Raven for example. Her life before Earth wasn’t a nice one, she carries the metal scars from what she has been through. She carries the physical scars of what she has endured since she arrived. In the City of Light all that would go away. She could walk freely without pain again.”

“Your son,” Clarke said, stepping back a little as she was sure she was about to get a hostile reaction from Jaha, “you sent him here to die with the rest of us. Does that pain go away?”

“In the City of Light that loss isn’t real.” Jaha said.

“The City of Light isn’t real,” Clarke replied, “it isn’t what we are. That pain, suffering, those emotions that we deal with on a daily basis, it makes us who we are. We are not part of some virtual reality, we’re part of the real world.”

“The City of Light would become the real world,” Jaha said, “think about what we’re being offered, Clarke. Think about what it would mean to our people.”

“You’re crazy.” Clarke said.

“Am I?” he asked, “or do I simply believe that our people deserve better than this?”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

After leaving the Azgeda capitol, with Ontari agreeing to travel to Polis and rejoin the coalition under Lexa’s rule, the Commander and her travelling group headed to the group of Sky People which had been seen nearby. Echo, Tobias and the others were travelling with them, requesting political asylum in Polis, which Lexa willingly granted. As they approached the downed section of the Ark, Lexa sensed movement around her. Holding up her hand she stopped, everyone else stopping as well. She dropped down off her horse.

“We mean you no harm…” she said to no one in particular.

A few men stepped out from behind the trees, with more dropping down from above. The first thing Lexa noticed was the guns. She glanced back at Bellamy and Octavia.

“We’re from the Ark.” Octavia said, stepping forwards, her hands raised slightly to show she wasn’t armed, “I’m Octavia, this is Bellamy…”

“You’re from the Ark?” one of the men asked.

“Yes,” Bellamy replied, “we were on the dropship which was sent down before the Ark sections.”

“Who is she?” the man said, motioning with his gun to Lexa.

“I’m Commander Lexa,” Lexa replied, “leader of the coalition of the 12 clans.”

“She’s the Grounder leader.” Octavia added, “and she’s here to help you.”

“12 clans?” someone else asked, “there’s more of them.”

“The 12 clans, which are soon to become 13 clans.” Lexa said, “with the addition of the Skaikru, that’s your people. Your leader is in my capitol city, along with more of your people. You are welcome to join them.”

“We kill Grounders.” Someone else said.

“I am assuming that your only interactions with my people have been with Azgeda,” Lexa said, “the Ice Nation, as this is their territory. We are not all the same.”

“You all seem the same to me.” The first man said.

“If I were in your position and the only people I had met were the Azgeda, then I would understand completely why you do not trust us,” Lexa replied, “where they wish to kill and fight, I choose to unite. They do not see the bigger picture; they do not understand that peace would be better for all.”

“When we first landed here,” Bellamy said, stepping forward a little more, “we were in the same situation as you, the only Grounders we knew were the ones trying to kill us. It’s different now. Now we all work together and exist alongside each other, we help each other.”

“And if we say no?” the first man asked.

“That is your choice,” Lexa replied, “I would suggest that you do not remain here though. As we know where you are, it will not be long before others find you. More people will die and I will not be able to stop it. There is a camp of your people, from the main section of the Ark, not too far over the Azgeda border. You will be safe there.”

Lexa saw a small child run up behind one of the men, looking around his legs the child looked at Lexa, their face full of curiosity.

“How many children are here?” Lexa asked.

“Not as many as there were.” Came the reply, “and more are dying because of the cold and lack of food.”

“Please, let me help you.” Lexa said calmly, “My warriors will go on a hunt and bring back food, we will show you how best to cook it. I have a healer with me who will be able to help your sick. Then we can talk about any more concerns you may have.”

The men all looked at each other, obviously considering what Lexa was saying.

“Do you have a radio in there?” Bellamy asked, motioning to the Ark section.

“Yes.” One of the men said.

“I might be able to get through to Raven or Clarke in Polis.” Bellamy said looking at Lexa.

“The Chancellor’s daughter?” someone asked.

“Now the Chancellor.” Lexa replied.

“Hunt first,” the first man said, “then we’ll talk.”


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay, as promised here's the update. Let me know what you think.

 

While the hunt was going on, Lexa was sitting with Bellamy and Octavia while the former tried to reach Raven on the radio.

“Raven…” Bellamy said into the radio, before waiting a few moments and looking at Lexa again, shaking his head a little, “Raven, if you’re making things go boom, Lexa is going to kick your butt.”

Octavia laughed a little as Lexa rolled her eyes.

“Raven isn’t here.” A small voice over the radio said.

“Neva?” Bellamy asked.

“Yes.” Neva replied, her voice filled with confusion.

“It’s Bellamy,” Bellamy said, “Is Clarke there?”

“She is upstairs; I can get her for you if you want.” Neva said.

“That’d be great.” Bellamy replied a small smile on his face as they waited for Neva to find Clarke.

As the minutes passed a few of the other people from the camp walked into the small room where the radio was situated. They were looking at Lexa with a mix of curiosity and caution, she didn’t blame them, as she had said to them it made complete sense as they had only had interactions with Azgeda up until that point.

“Bellamy?” Clarke said over the radio, “where are you?”

“Hey, Princess,” Bellamy replied with a smile, “we’re still in Azgeda territory.”

“You just happened to find a radio there?” Clarke asked.

“Not exactly,” Bellamy said, “While we were waiting for the new Azgeda leader to decide whether she wanted Lexa to wipe them out or not, a few friends of Echo’s told us about a small camp of people. There are more of our people here, Clarke.”

“More of the Ark survived?” the blonde asked.

“Sure did,” Bellamy replied, “Lexa’s warriors are out on a hunt at the moment to get them food, they don’t seem to be doing too well.”

“Is Lexa there?” Clarke asked.

“She sure is,” he replied with a small laugh, “you want to talk to her?”

“Please.” Clarke said.

Bellamy smiled a little as he handed Lexa the radio.

“You need to push that button on the side to talk,” he said, “let it go when you’ve finished what you want to say.”

“Thank you, Bellamy,” Lexa said, her finger pushing down on the button on the side, “I am much too stupid to figure that out on my own.”

The sound of Clarke’s laughter filled the small room, Bellamy rolled his eyes and shook his head a little as Octavia laughed.

“Clarke,” Lexa said into the radio, “how is everything in Polis?”

“It’s okay,” the blonde replied, “Raven hasn’t blown anything up yet, so that’s always a plus. We have found out a little more about the AI and the City of Light…”

“How?” Lexa asked, “I thought that Jaha wasn’t too forthcoming with information.”

“He wasn’t,” Clarke said, “one of my people who went with him turned up in Polis last night. He told us that the City of Light is actually this virtual reality, not what you thought it was.”

“So why did she require the nuclear warhead?” Lexa asked, her brow furrowed a little.

“Apparently she needed it for a power source.” Clarke replied, “Did Jaha have anything with him when Luna’s people picked him up?”

“You would have to ask Luna about that,” the brunette said, “she did not mention anything to me.”

“Okay,” Clarke said with a sigh, “when will you be back?”

“Do you miss me, Clarke?” Lexa asked, her voice full of amusement.

“You’re an ass, you know that…” Clarke said with a small laugh, “of course I do. Plus, Luna and I are not exactly seeing eye to eye on something, and it would be easier if we had your input.”

“What’s the problem?” Lexa asked, suddenly very serious again.

“Murphy, the guy who went with Jaha, had someone with him when he came back,” Clarke replied, “a girl named Emori. Luna wants her locked up, apparently she’s a thief and Luna’s people have been looking for her for a while. I don’t think that’s necessary, I need Murphy to tell me everything he knows about the City of Light and the AI, that isn’t going to happen if his girlfriend is locked up.”

“Murphy…” Lexa said, “is he not the one who was with Finn when he went to Tondc?”

“Yes,” Clarke said, “but he actually tried to stop him…”

“Obviously not hard enough.” Lexa replied with a sigh.

“What do you want me to do?” Clarke asked.

“We need the information they have, if we have any hope of finding out what the AI wants,” Lexa said, “if your friend and his partner both need to be free for that to happen, then so be it. But, if they are to walk around the city, they must have at least one guard with them. Once I return I will talk to both Luna and Emori and try to gain a better understanding of the situation.”

“Okay.” Clarke said, “thank you.”

“Please ensure that I do not regret it, Clarke.” Lexa said.

“I’ll do my best,” Clarke said, the smile on her lips was clear in her voice, which caused Lexa to smile a little, “you didn’t tell me when you’d be back.”

“Hopefully soon,” Lexa replied, “we are currently helping your people who are here. Once the warriors return with the hunt, and after everyone has eaten, we are going to talk about what is best for them. Personally, I think they should return to your people, whether that be in Polis or at your camp. That is going to delay my return.”

“You’ve already been longer than you said you would be…” Clarke said quietly.

“Would you prefer I leave your people in Azgeda territory with no assistance?” Lexa asked.

“No, of course not…” Clarke said with a sigh.

“I will be home soon, Clarke.” Lexa said.

“Okay.” Clarke replied.

“Ai hod yu in…” Lexa said quietly.

“Yeah,” Clarke said with a sigh, “me too… I have to go.”

With that, silence filled the room. Lexa sighed and rolled her eyes a little, ignoring the looks she was getting from Octavia and Bellamy, she stood up and walked from the room.

“I hod what…?” Bellamy asked.

“Ai hod yu in,” Octavia said, shaking her head at her brother’s inability to understand the language, “means I love you…”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“She just told you she loves you and the best you’ve got is ‘me too’?” Raven asked as Clarke stood up from the radio and turned to leave the room.

“It’s really great that you’re all Team Lexa now,” Clarke said with a huff as she moved to walk around Raven, “but I really don’t need this right now.”

“I get this is hard for you, Clarke,” Raven said, stepping in front of the blonde, “but you’re not the only one who is struggling with this. Have you ever thought about the fact that she misses you too? This isn’t about me being Team Lexa, heck I’m barely Team Raven, this is about you being an idiot.”

“She said she’d be back in a week, two at the most,” Clarke replied, “she’s already going to be longer than she said she would… I’m being expected to make all these decisions without her, and I’m not sure I can do that… I can barely sleep without her, Raven…”

“It isn’t her fault, Clarke.” Raven said, putting her arms around the blonde and pulling her into a hug, “You being like that with her isn’t going to make it easier.”

“I know…” Clarke muttered.

“Like she said, would you rather she just leave our people there?” the other girl asked.

“Yes…” Clarke mumbled, Raven could tell she was pouting.

“You don’t mean that.” Raven said with a small laugh, “she’ll be back soon, then you can not sleep for other reasons.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The hunters returned with a deer, more than enough meat for everyone in the camp to eat. Lexa sat by the fire with Echo and watched as some of the Skaikru at the camp watched as the warriors skinned the deer so they could cook it over the fire. There was water in a big pot waiting to be boiled over the fire, they had some vegetables with them which would be added to the water with the meat to make a stew which would be more filling than just the meat alone.

“How is everything in Polis?” Echo asked Lexa quietly.

“Clarke assured me it is fine, though she was having a difference of opinion with Luna.” Lexa replied.

“I’m surprised they haven’t had more differences of opinion; they are both strong willed.” Echo said with a small laugh, causing Lexa to nod a little.

Octavia walked over to the fire and sat near Lexa, she looked over at Echo.

“Can you give us a minute?” she asked, Echo nodded and walked away from the fire, “You know she didn’t mean it…”

Lexa looked at Octavia, slight confusion on her face.

“Clarke,” Octavia clarified, “she’s probably just stressing out and tired.”

“She is not the only one who is tired…” Lexa replied quietly.

“You not sleeping well?” Octavia asked.

“I rarely do when away from Polis.” Lexa said, “but obviously there is more to it this time.”

“We’ll be back soon.” Octavia said with a small smile.

“I hope so.” Lexa replied.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was sitting on the bed she normally shared with Lexa, the door to the room was open and Neva quietly walked into the room.

“When will Lexa be back?” she asked as she looked at Clarke.

“I don’t know,” Clarke replied with a sigh, “soon, hopefully.”

A knock on the door stopped the conversation.

“Kassius said you wanted to talk to me.” Luna said.

“Neva, can you go and check on Raven, make sure she isn’t blowing anything up?” Clarke asked as she looked at the younger girl, who nodded a little before leaving the room, “I spoke to Lexa earlier…”

“How?” Luna asked as she walked into the room and sat in one of the chairs near the unlit fire.

“They found more of my people in Azgeda territory,” Clarke said, “I’m guessing there was a radio on that part of the Ark. She agrees that Emori shouldn't be locked up, but also should not be allowed to freely walk around Polis…”

“Of course she does…” Luna replied with a sigh.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” Clarke asked.

“Nothing, Sky Girl.” Luna said, shaking her head a little.

“It obviously means something, or you wouldn’t have said it.” the blonde replied.

“It simply means that you could tell Lexa that the sky was green and the grass was blue and she would believe you without question,” Luna said, turning to look at Clarke, “you have more power over her than you should. She is Heda, nobody should have the sway over her which you do.”

“What happened to you saying that I’m good for Lexa…” Clarke said.

“Personally, yes you are,” Luna replied, “there is no question that you have brought her a happiness that she hasn’t had in a long time, and that can never be a bad thing. But thousands of lives are in her hands, and she needs a clear mind to be able to do what is best for her people.”

“You mean your people,” Clarke said, standing up from where she was sitting, “listen, we need the information about the AI and the City of Light, information that we’re not going to get if we lock her up. I don’t trust her any more than you do, but this is the way it has to be.”

“Like I’ve already said, I hope you’re not making a mistake,” Luna replied, “is that all you wanted to talk to me about?”

“No,” Clarke said, “when your people picked up Jaha did he have anything with him? Murphy said that A.L.I.E wanted the nuclear warhead to create a power source, I’m curious about where that may be.”

“I don’t know if he had anything with him,” Luna said, “I can ask the warriors I had with me and see if any of them are aware of anything.”

“Thank you.” Clarke replied.

“Anything more?” Luna asked as she stood up.

“No…” the blonde said, watching as Luna walked towards the door, “Luna, I don’t want to keep fighting with you…”

“We have not been fighting Sky Girl,” Luna replied with a small smile as she turned to look back at Clarke, “this is not fighting, this is simply a difference of opinion.”

“Okay.” Clarke said with a nod.

She stood and watched as Luna left the room, closing the door behind her. Clarke walked out onto the balcony, for the first time since she had arrived in Polis she was suddenly feeling very alone.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the delay, I've been without internet for a week, it's been a long fricking week. Anyway, here we go. Remember this is fiction, I hate Pike so this had to happen. Also, remember if you kill me I can't fix it ;) Enjoy. Comments are always welcome.

As the Skaikru slept in what was left of their section of the Ark, Lexa, Ryder and Octavia were on watch. Even though Lexa had made an agreement with Ontari about Azgeda’s future within the coalition she still didn’t trust the other girl, especially where Skaikru were concerned, so the people Lexa had with her were on a rotating watch while the others slept. While Lexa stood watching nothing but the trees around her, Octavia walked up and stood next to her.

“So what’s going to happen to the people here?” Octavia asked.

“An agreement still hasn’t been reached,” Lexa replied with a sigh, “I cannot force them to leave here, they are not my people. They have a couple of options though, they can return to Polis with us, or they can join the rest of your people, they can even stay here if they choose to but I don’t believe that will be the safest option for them.”

“Even with the agreement you have with Ontari?” the other girl asked as she looked at the Grounder Commander.

“That isn’t a solid agreement as of yet, part of me doesn’t believe it ever will be,” Lexa said, “though she is currently in a position of power, I don’t think she’ll be able to hold onto it. I need to speak to Rohan when I return to Polis. With Roan still out there somewhere the Azgeda leadership will not be stable… as for your people being safe here because of that agreement, it would actually be the opposite. Your people are not yet my people, if the Azgeda attack them here, there is nothing that I can do to stop it.”

“Is Rohan still going to be the Azgeda representative in Polis?” Octavia said, “I mean, wasn’t he put there by Nia?”

“No,” Lexa said, shaking her head, “he was a compromise. I would not allow someone that Nia herself picked as I did not trust her. I trust her replacement even less, but it is all I have to work with right now.”

“How long till we got back to Polis?” the younger girl asked.

“As soon as we can.” Lexa replied with a small smile.

Echo walked up to where the two girls were standing.

“Heda,” she said, “I thought you should be aware that a couple of the Skaikru have left the structure… There is a back exit that we were not aware of. Tobias found it when he was doing a patrol of that area.”

“Who left, and where have they gone?” Lexa asked, her eyes narrowed as she looked at the other girl.

“Pike, the one these Skaikru see as their leader, and a couple of other men,” Echo replied, “Tobias has followed them, they went a little deeper into the trees. He mentioned they were talking when one of our people was checking the room they were sleeping in, they stopped talking when he walked in.”

It didn’t take long for Lexa to remember that Pike had been the one who said that all Grounders were the same when they first arrived at the Skaikru camp, he was also the one who was stalling the talks concerning where these particular Skaikru would go.

“When Tobias returns, ask him to report to me about anything he may have found out about where they have gone and what they were talking about.” She said as she looked at Echo, the other girl nodding a little before she walked away again.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

It seemed as soon as Lexa had managed to finally get some rest she was being woken up again, Octavia crouched down next to her, shaking her gently.

“One of the children has gone missing.” Octavia said quietly.

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked, as she sat up, “the children were all asleep…”

“I heard Pike talking to one of the others, he thought I was asleep,” Octavia replied, “apparently one of the adults took the kid out to use the bathroom and the kid disappeared.”

“A child does not simply disappear.” Lexa said with a sigh, standing up and putting her armour back on.

Lexa walked out of the building and saw Echo, Tobias and Ryder talking to Pike. She could hear from where she was that the Skaikru man was telling them that his people would find the child. She walked over to where they were standing.

“Where was the child last seen?” Lexa asked, looking at Pike.

“With all due respect,” Pike replied as he looked back at Lexa, “this isn’t any concern of yours, these are my people, I will find the child.”

“Why is it that when someone says ‘with all due respect’,” Octavia said, “it’s just a polite way of saying fuck you?”

“The term is redundant in this situation,” Lexa said, looking between Octavia and Pike, “as it implies that the person saying it respects the person they are talking to, it is pretty clear that he has no respect for me or my position.”

“You’re a Grounder.” Pike said as his eyes stayed fixed on Lexa.

“I am also the reason that your people didn’t go to sleep with empty stomachs again last night,” Lexa replied, stepping closer to him, “my people know these woods, yours obviously do not. It would be in the best interests of the missing child if you tell me what I want to know, it is the best chance of finding the child alive.”

Octavia watched as Pike tightened his grip on his gun as Lexa stepped closer to him, before he looked at another of the Skaikru men who was standing nearby, the man nodding a little.

“The kid was last seen beyond the first row of trees to the east of our camp.” Pike said as he looked back at Lexa.

Lexa turned to her own people.

“I want you to split up, spread out towards the east of the camp and find the child.” She said, causing them all to nod as they headed in the direction she had sent them, Lexa turned to Octavia, “I need you to stay here.”

There was something in Lexa’s eyes which told Octavia that she was staying there for a reason, Lexa didn’t trust Pike and she wanted Octavia to keep an eye on him.

“Sha, Heda.” Octavia said with a small nod.

“English.” Pike said.

“It means yes, Commander.” Octavia replied coldly as she turned and looked at him.

“You are not one of them.” He said as he looked at Octavia.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Octavia said, stepping closer to him, her hand gripped on the handle of her blade, “because I was never one of you.”

Pike narrowed his eyes as he looked at Octavia, before he shook his head and walked away to where some of the other Skaikru were standing. Octavia turned and looked at Lexa, who had a small smile playing on her lips.

“I need you to watch him,” Lexa said quietly to her, “if he moves, follow him. I do not trust that a child simply disappeared.”

Octavia nodded a little. Lexa took off towards the east of the camp, deciding to help in the search for the child. She could see the rest of her people dotted through the trees, all looking for the Skaikru child. It didn’t take her long to find small footprints in the dirt of the forest floor.

She followed the footprints as they started to move south, towards the back of the Skaikru camp, from the weight distribution of the prints she could see that the child had been running at this point. There were no animal tracks following the human ones, but it wasn’t long before the small prints of the child were followed by larger human footprints. Lexa got an uneasy feeling in her stomach, she knew her people walked lightly, these footprints were heavy-footed.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Out of the corner of her eye Octavia could see that Pike was still deep in conversation with a few of his people, from where she was standing she couldn’t hear them, but she could tell from the looks on their faces that they were discussing something of importance.

“Where’s Lexa?” Bellamy asked as he walked up next to his sister.

“A kid went missing in the night,” Octavia replied, glancing at Bellamy before looking back to the small group of Skaikru, “Lexa and a few of the others have gone out to find her.”

“What are you up to, O?” Bellamy asked, his eyes travelling in the direction that she was looking.

“There’s something going on,” she replied, “Lexa wanted me to stay here, keep an eye on Pike. He’s up to something.”

“So you’re spying on them?” Bellamy said.

“Watching their movements…” Octavia said with a smirk, “if I was spying, I’d be closer.”

“Right.” Bellamy said with a nod.

Octavia tensed as she watched Pike walk away from the group, he was walking back into the building, there was no way she could follow him without it being obvious.

“Shit…” she said quietly.

“I’ll go,” Bellamy said, “you walk around the back of the camp, check the back exit that Echo mentioned last night.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As Lexa continued to follow the footprints, she lost sight of the rest of her people, seeing them all move off in different directions. She narrowed her eyes as she looked from the trees back in the direction of the camp, she could see the back exit that Echo had told her about, but from this distance, through the trees, she didn’t have a clear line of sight.

She walked a little further before seeing the small child laying near the base of a tree. Rushing over to the kid she found the young girl was asleep, her wrists and ankles tied together with fabric, another piece of fabric was around her mouth as a gag.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

When Octavia rounded the back of the camp she could see the exit door already open, as she got closer Bellamy walked out.

“Where is he?” she asked him.

“No idea,” Bellamy said, shaking his head a little, “he’s quicker than he looks, and he knows the layout of this place better than we do.”

Octavia looked out into the trees, she could see someone moving away from the camp at a crouch. Just as she was about to mention it to Bellamy she heard a branch snap.

“They’re going after Lexa…” Octavia said quietly as she and Bellamy both looked around them.

“Find her.” Bellamy said, looking at his sister, as someone started to round the corner of the building, “I’ll deal with this.”

Octavia nodded once before taking off into the trees.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Lexa crouched down beside the child, using her knife to cut the fabric around the girl’s wrists and ankles. As she moved the small child began to wake up, her eyes widening a little as she looked at Lexa. The Grounder Commander smiled a little as she took the gag away from the girl’s mouth.

“It’s okay…” Lexa said, “you’re safe…”

“Trap…” The young girl replied as she sat up.

“I know.” Lexa said with a small nod, “I want you to run, go back to the camp, find Octavia, can you do that?”

The girl nodded a little as Lexa heard a branch snap behind her.

“Go.” She said, as a gun clicked behind her.

As the girl stood up, Lexa followed, turning to face Pike as the young girl ran off towards the camp. Pike quickly looked towards the young girl before turning his attention back to Lexa as he pointed his gun at her.

“I can’t believe how easy this was.” He said, “I didn’t actually think you’d fall for it.”

“You assume that I didn’t know what you had planned.” Lexa said, as she looked at him.

“You’re here, alone,” Pike replied, “that tells me that you had no idea.”

“Am I alone?” Lexa asked, a small smirk playing on her lips.

She knew that she was alone at that moment, but she hoped that she could play to Pike’s insecurities and mistrust in her people.

“Unlike your people,” Lexa continued, “mine move silently through the forest.”

He looked around them, Lexa took that moment to scan the surrounding forest with her eyes. She spotted Octavia moving through the trees nearby, she also saw another of Pike’s men walking closer to them.

“There’s no one here.” Pike said as he looked back at Lexa.

“What do you hope to achieve by killing me? I assume that is your intention.” She replied.

“You’re their leader,” he said, “killing you will send a message, a warning.”

“Killing me will get each and every one of your people killed,” Lexa replied, “those here and those elsewhere, no Sky Person will survive this. My death will be quick, your death, and those of your people will be long, painful and drawn out.”

“By the time they find out you’re dead, we’ll be long gone.” Pike said with a smirk.

“There is nowhere you can hide,” Lexa said, stepping closer to him, “you can run for days and you will still be on my land. All of the 12 clans will be hunting you, nowhere will be safe.”

“We’ll take our chances.” He said.

As he started to lift his gun to aim it at Lexa’s head, a grunt was heard nearby as Echo killed the other man who had his gun pointed at Lexa. Pike looked over to where the sound came from quickly, as he turned his head to look back at Lexa a blade landed in his back, the tip breaking through the front of his ribcage. His body reacted automatically to the force, his finger gripping tighter on the trigger of his gun, the sound of the gunshot rang out through the forest, echoing around them as Lexa felt a sharp pain in her stomach as Pike dropped to the floor.

Both Octavia and Echo ran over to Lexa as she fell to her knees, her hand going to cover the wound.

“Lexa…” Octavia said, crouching down next to her, before she looked up at Echo, “we need to get her back to the camp.”

“Do they have a healer?” Echo asked as she and Octavia both helped Lexa to her feet.

“I don’t know,” Octavia replied, “we have Lincoln…”

“Lincoln cannot treat bullet wounds,” Echo said, “they are unfamiliar to my people.”

“We’ll figure it out.” The younger girl said as they helped Lexa back to camp.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Raven was sitting in her room, looking at the chip that Murphy had given them, she couldn’t figure out what it was. As far as she could work out the only way it could affect someone was if it dissolved in the stomach. With a sigh she leant back in her chair. Neva was working on trying to put another of the old radio’s back together, it was amusing for Raven to watch as the young girls brow furrowed as she looked at the mass of parts, full of confusion. Raven picked the chip up again, turning it around in her hand as she looked at it.

Both girls jumped when the other radio suddenly burst to life, Raven dropping the chip to the floor as she nearly fell from her seat.

“Raven!” Bellamy yelled over the radio.

“What’s the matter, Bell?” Raven asked as she picked up the receiver.

“I need you to get Abby…” he said, Raven heard muffled talking as Bellamy obviously covered the receiver before he continued talking to her, “it’s an emergency.”

“What’s going on?” Raven asked as Neva stood up from where she was sitting on the floor and walked over to where Raven was near the radio.

“Just get her, Raven, please.” Bellamy said, “someone’s been shot and we need Abby’s help.”

Raven moved to stand up, stopping when she heard Bellamy say something else, obviously forgetting that his finger was still on the button.

“I couldn’t tell her it was Lexa, she’ll tell Clarke,” Bellamy said, “there’s no point worrying Clarke when there’s nothing she can do about it.”

“Shit…” Raven said as she stood up and rushed to the door, before turning back at looking at Neva who was standing, staring, open mouthed at the radio, “can you stay here and answer him if he says anything else?”

Neva nodded a little, her brow furrowed as Raven left the room. The young girl knew that Clarke needed to know what was going on, in her mind it made no sense why Bellamy would want to keep it from her. As she was about to leave the room to find the blonde, she saw the chip Raven had dropped. Picking it up, she put it in her pocket before running from the room and heading to the meeting room where she knew Clarke was with Luna and Kassius.

She didn’t knock on the door, even though it was closed, she just ran straight into the room interrupting the meeting which was going on.

“Neva,” Luna said as she looked at the young girl, “now isn’t a good time.”

Neva ignored Luna and ran over to Clarke.

“Lexa’s been shot…” she said, loud enough for both Clarke and Luna to hear, but not loud enough for anyone else in the room to hear.

“Meeting adjourned.” Luna said, her eyes locked on the blonde.

The room cleared out pretty quickly as Luna stood up and walked over to Clarke and Neva.

“What happened?” she asked, crouching next to the young girl.

“Bellamy just radioed,” Neva replied, looking between Clarke and Luna, “he said they need Abby… he said it was an emergency.”

Luna looked at Clarke, seeing the blonde staring at a spot on the floor.

“Clarke…” Luna said, putting her hand on the blonde’s knee.

“They don’t have a healer…” Clarke said, her eyes snapping to Luna, “She said they wouldn’t need one…”

“She’s going to be fine, Clarke.” Luna said softly, “she’s a fighter, she’ll be fine. Lincoln is there, if your mother talks him through it, he’ll be able to help her.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

When Raven and Abby arrived in Raven’s room the first thing that the mechanic noticed was that Neva wasn’t there.

“Oh no…” Raven said.

“What?” Abby asked, looking at her.

“Neva,” Raven replied, “she was right here… she’ll have gone to tell Clarke.”

Abby rushed over to the radio and sat down on the chair in front of it. Picking up the receiver she hit the button to talk.

“Bellamy?” she said, “tell me how bad it is…”

“There’s a lot of blood,” Bellamy replied, his voice giving away the nervousness he was currently feeling at the situation, “she was shot in the stomach, the bullet hitting to the left of centre…”

“Okay,” Abby said, “you’re going to need to slow the bleeding before you can do anything else.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Octavia grabbed some more of the bandages they had and held them down on the wound on Lexa’s stomach, soaking up the blood that was seeping from the mess left by the bullet. Glancing up at the Commander’s face she saw that she was pale, losing colour fast, her breathing coming in short bursts.

“You’re going to be okay, Lexa…” She said, as she looked at Bellamy, “what next?”

“What next, Abby?” Bellamy asked.

“Is the bullet still in her?” Abby asked in reply.

Octavia pushed her hand underneath Lexa’s back to where the exit wound would be if there was one. She nodded her head to Bellamy when she found that there wasn’t a wound on Lexa’s back.

“Yes,” Bellamy said, “it’s still in.”

“Okay,” Abby replied, “you’re going to need to get the bullet out of her. Sterilise a blade, use it to increase the wound a little so it’s big enough for you to find the bullet.”

Echo had already been heating a blade over the small fire they had burning, she put it in a bucket of cold water before handing it to Lincoln. Octavia moved so Lincoln could have access to the wound. She took Lexa’s hand.

“This is really going to hurt…” she said quietly as she used a piece of wet fabric to wipe the sweat from the Grounder Commanders brow.

Ryder was standing outside the building with Tobias and the others, watching over the remaining members of Skaikru, he flinched as Lexa’s pained screams filled the air around them.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“What are we going to do?” Octavia asked as she looked around the group.

“Kill them all.” Echo replied, her voice cold as she looked at the terrified group of Skaikru.

“That is not our decision to make.” Ryder said, “that is up to Heda.”

“They tried to kill her.” Echo said as she looked at him, “that is treason, a crime punished by death. By our laws, they all die.”

“No…” Lexa managed to say from where she was currently laying.

“Heda…” Echo said, rushing over to her, “they…”

“Those that are guilty have already been punished,” Lexa replied as she opened her eyes and looked at the other girl, “no one else dies here…”

Echo and Octavia shared a look as Lexa’s eyes closed again as she drifted back out of consciousness.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me start by saying I am currently absolutely devastated, literally heartbroken right now. But I made a promise to many people on Tumblr last night that I would get my on-going stories finished and this is the first part of that promise. It’s a shorter part that I normally post, but it took me a lot longer to write than anything else I’ve written. When I wrote the last part of this, I wrote it thinking ‘they’d never do this on the show, there’s no way Lexa would get shot’, well, how wrong was I. When I started this story I did so from a completely different starting point to the show, and I will end it differently as well. Rest assured, Lexa will live through this. I will apologise now for any feelings this may cause, the end of this chapter made me cry, but saying that the tears have been coming on and off since I watched 307 as it aired last night.
> 
> Feel free to message me on here or on Tumblr (@unaligned-valkyrie) if you want to talk, if you need someone to talk to, hit me up. Comment if you want to, I understand completely if you can’t.

 

Octavia sat in the dimly lit room, her eyes fixed on Lexa. Bellamy had taken a horse back to the Skaikru camp to get one of the rovers, they’d decided that they needed to get Lexa back to Polis asap. Lincoln had followed Abby’s instructions and had removed the bullet, but the Grounder Commander was now running a fever and they needed to get her to Abby as soon as they could. Ryder had suggested using a cart to take her back, but Octavia had argued that doing that would take them too long, and as much as Lexa wasn’t a fan of Old World things, the rover was the quickest way to get back to the capitol. Octavia was lost in her thoughts when a hand on her shoulder made her jump.

“We need you outside.” Echo said with a soft smile, glancing at Lexa’s sleeping form before she looked back to Octavia, “Bellamy will return soon, there are decisions to be made.”

Octavia nodded a little before she stood up and followed Echo from the room, closing the door behind her. Once they were outside, Octavia could see the remaining group of Skaikru sitting in a small group, Lexa’s warriors standing around them, weapons drawn.

Ryder walked over to Octavia.

“These are your people,” he said to her, “we already know Heda’s wishes that no one else dies here, but we need to decide what to do with them.”

“We could just leave them here…” Tobias said from where he was standing not far from Octavia and Echo.

“No,” Octavia said, shaking her head a little, “we leave them here, they’ll die. They should be taken back to the Skaikru camp. I know that Le… Heda said they were welcome to come with us to Polis, but considering what happened I think it would just be better if they go to the camp.”

Ryder nodded a little.

“We will need to decide who will return to Polis with Heda,” he said, “those not returning with her will escort them to the camp.”

“The rover only holds 8 people,” Octavia replied, “but with the space we’re going to need for Heda, we can only carry 5… Bellamy needs to go because he’s the only one who can drive.”

“I think those who Heda chose to accompany her when she spoke to Ontari should be the ones to accompany her back to Polis.” Tobias said, causing Ryder and Octavia to look at him before they nodded a little.

“So that’s me, Bell, Ryder, Lincoln and Echo…” Octavia said with a nod.

“We will escort Skaikru to the camp,” Tobias replied, “then we will return here and the others can return to Polis.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was standing on the balcony overlooking Polis, she knew she should be focusing on Jaha and Murphy, she needed to work out what was going on with the AI. She needed to do what she told Lexa she would do, she needed to figure out a way to stop whatever it was that was coming. But she couldn’t. Her head kept running over the same thing again and again, Lexa should have taken a healer with her. Clarke knew that Lincoln was a healer of sorts, but she couldn’t help but worry that he just wouldn’t be enough. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear Raven clear her throat from the doorway.

“Octavia just radioed in,” Raven said, walking over to where Clarke was standing, upon hearing her words the blonde looked at her, pure worry written on her face, “Bellamy went back to camp to get a rover so they can get her back here in hours, not days. She’s okay, for now. She’s running a fever but they’re working on that the best they can.”

Clarke nodded a little, trying to focus on Raven’s words of ‘she’s okay’.

“I can’t lose her, Raven…” the blonde said quietly, her voice cracking slightly.

“I know…” Raven replied, “it’ll be okay, Clarke.”

“I hope so.” Clarke said.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“How’s she doing back there, O?” Bellamy asked from his position in the driver’s seat of the rover.

“She’s okay,” Octavia said with a nod, “she’d probably be doing better if you kept the shaking around to a minimum though.”

“I’m doing the best I can.” Bellamy replied.

Octavia dipped the cloth she had into the bowl of water that she was balancing between her legs, before softly wiping the sweat from Lexa’s forehead. As she moved to put the cloth back in the water again, Lexa’s eyes opened.

“Where…?” Lexa asked, struggling to look around.

“We’re in the rover,” Octavia explained, “we’re going back to Polis.”

“But, your people…” Lexa replied.

“Tobias and the others are taking them to the camp,” Octavia said, “we need to get you to Polis, Lexa.”

Lexa nodded slightly before closing her eyes again.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Sitting in the chair next to the bed which Lexa was now lying in, Clarke couldn’t sleep, she had no hope of quietening her mind for long enough. Any thoughts of the danger Lexa and the others faced while in Azgeda territory hadn’t contained the fact that it may be Clarke’s own people who would do the damage. Sure they had been separated from the rest of Skaikru for months, but they were still her people. Octavia had explained to her what had happened, how they had gone there to help them, how Pike had laid the trap and Lexa had walked into it. Part of Clarke was disappointed that the man was dead, she wouldn’t have minded dragging his death out. But right now, Lexa was back in Polis and that is all that mattered to the blonde at that moment.

She and Lexa had talked about how Commanders didn’t tend to live very long, their lives were lived for their people and that usually meant that their lives were cut a lot shorter than most. But even though they had talked about it, it hadn’t really hit Clarke until that moment how real that could be.

The door to the bedroom opened, causing Clarke to turn and see who it was. Kassius smiled softly at her as he walked into the room, closing the door behind him.

“How is she?” he asked, walking over to where Clarke was sitting.

“My mom got anti-biotics into her to fight the infection,” Clarke replied, turning her attention back to Lexa, “her temperature has dropped back to nearly normal levels… Lincoln did a good job removing the bullet, it’s going to scar, but that can’t be helped…”

“How are you?” Kassius asked, placing his hand softly on Clarke’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” Clarke replied with a shrug and a shake of the head, “I’ll be better when she’s out of that bed and reminding Raven not to blow the building up… it did make me realise something though… everything that she’s done, uniting the 12 clans, bringing peace to everyone after all the years of fighting and death… everything… it can all be taken away in a single moment.”

“It would be then up to the next Commander to continue that.” Kassius said, obviously trying to ease Clarke’s mind a little.

“But would whoever it is be able to do that?” Clarke asked, “every Commander before her failed, what’s to say that whoever would come next could hold everything together… We talked about how the Commander’s spirit is reincarnated, a piece of the current Commander is carried into the next one, but it wouldn’t be the same. There’ll never be another Commander like Lexa… plus, I don’t want another Commander… I want this one.”

Kassius gently squeezed Clarke’s shoulder.

“Selfish of me, huh…” the blonde said.

“No,” Kassius replied, shaking his head, “I worry what would happen when Lexa’s time comes. She has changed our people for the better and without her that may all fall apart.”

Neither of them had heard the door open or Luna walk into the room.

“If it all falls apart then her life would have been worth nothing,” Luna said as she walked up to where Kassius was, “her star burns too brightly to simply be forgotten and allowed to vanish. Our thoughts are obviously not only for what it would cost our people, but also what we would all stand to lose personally. We have seen a side to Lexa that many do not.”

“She is a gift.” Kassius said quietly.

“She’d hate us talking like this, you know.” Clarke said as she looked back at Kassius and Luna.

“Yes, she would.” Lexa said as she opened her eyes and turned her head looking over at the three of them.

“We apologise, Heda.” Luna said with a small smirk.

Kassius and Luna both made their way out of the room, closing the door behind them, leaving Clarke and Lexa alone.

Neither of them said a word as their eyes locked, it was almost like no words were needed, their emotions and feelings were clear.

“Please don’t worry me like that again…” Clarke said finally as she moved from the chair to sit on the bed next to Lexa.

“I told you I would always come back to you, Clarke,” Lexa said as she took the blonde’s hand, “if not in this life, then the next. You will never be alone, I will be with you, always.”


	30. Chapter 30

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picking the AI part of this storyline up while also exploring more about the Grounders beliefs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had a total geek-out while writing this part, just proving that it is possible to explore the whole AI storyline while Lexa is still alive. Fuck you JRoth. Anyway, hope you all enjoy this and it's not too hard to follow, comment and let me know.

 

Clarke had laid awake while Lexa slept, she couldn’t help but start to think about what life would be like if Lexa died. She thought about how difficult life had been since she landed on the ground, it had been something she had never expected. They had always thought that everyone on the ground was dead, in all the lessons they’d had on the Ark they were always lead to believe that nobody could survive what had happened to the Earth, but obviously people had. It had taken Clarke a while to realise why life was the way it was on the ground, why it was always a constant fight to survive, it’s because that’s all they had ever known.

The choices that Clarke herself had to make since arriving on the ground were hard for the blonde to deal with, the nightmares that plagued her mind were only eased when she was around Lexa. She’d never really given too much consideration to what choices Lexa had to make. When the blonde had been talking to Nia, before the Ice Nation Queen had been executed, the Azgeda leader had told her that Lexa wasn’t the person she believed her to be. Deep down, Clarke knew that Lexa’s path to peace was probably littered with the broken and beaten bodies of her enemies. But Clarke knew, for every life that Lexa had taken, for every life that had been lost due to her orders, the brunette lost a little bit of herself. She knew that the price of peace was a high one, and with how close she had come to losing Lexa, she knew that she would make it a price worth paying.

If they lost Lexa, they lost that hope of peace, that dream of life finally being worthy of living. Back when Clarke had first met Lexa, she had seen the hard cold side of the Commander, she thought that’s just who Lexa was. Now she knew she couldn’t have been more wrong. From a very young age Lexa had been trained to be that way, she had been made to believe that being the Commander meant being alone. Clarke couldn’t help but hope, in the small amount of time that they had been together, she had helped Lexa to see that she didn’t have to do this alone.

With a sigh, Clarke got out of bed, she couldn’t sleep, but she also couldn’t stay lying in bed. She was getting restless and she didn’t want to disturb Lexa while the brunette was still healing. She quietly made her way from the bedroom and down to Lexa’s planning room, the room that held the records that Lexa had kept.

While she had been thinking about what would happen if, and when, Lexa died, Clarke realised that she knew very little about the Grounder beliefs. She was hoping that some of the books that Lexa had in that room would help her to understand. Lighting a few candles around the room she walked over to the bookshelf and tried to figure out which of the many books she should start with.

As she was looking she heard footsteps approaching the room, she glanced back to see Luna standing in the doorway.

“You okay?” Luna asked with a soft smile as she looked at the blonde.

“Yeah,” Clarke replied with a small nod, “just couldn’t sleep and I didn’t want to wake Lexa, she needs all the sleep she can get.”

“She’ll be okay, she’ll get through this,” Luna said, walking into the room and over to the fireplace, “shall I start this?”

“Please…” the blonde replied, realising that she was actually a little bit cold.

“Are you looking for anything specific in those books?” the older woman asked as she easily started a fire burning in the fireplace before she sat on one of the chairs.

“I want to understand…” Clarke said with a sigh.

“Understand what?” Luna asked in reply.

“A while ago, back when Lexa and I were planning the attack on the Mountain, we ended up out in the forest,” Clarke said, leaving the books on the shelf and making her way over to one of the other chairs, “I needed to take a break from the meeting and ended up going out on my own. Quint decided he was going to try and kill me, because I had killed his brother… Lexa stopped him. We got chased by a Pauna… I thought we were going to die; those things are huge…”

Luna laughed a little, huge was an understatement.

“We ended up trapped,” the blonde continued, “Lexa told me that death wasn’t the end, and if she died her soul would find the next Commander… with everything that happened in the last couple of days, I’ve realised that I know next to nothing about what she meant.”

“What do you think she meant?” Luna asked.

“Reincarnation,” Clarke said, “but from what I’ve read, different groups in history had different ideas about what that meant, I’m curious about what your people believe.”

“Even amongst the clans the belief is different,” Luna replied, “I can tell you what I know, well parts of what I know, some of the specifics are unknown to those who are not directly involved in the Commander’s conclave.”

“You can start with what the conclave is,” Clarke said with a small laugh, “Lexa has told me a little about it, but not exactly what it is…”

“It actually goes back to the first Commander,” Luna said, recalling stories that she had been told as a child, “back in the days which followed the bombs, it’s said that a woman fell from the sky, landing here in Polis. A lot of the facts have been lost, stories have obviously changed over time. When a Grounder child is born, a test on their blood is done, I’m sure you’re aware that Lexa’s blood is different to your own…”

“It’s black…” Clarke said with a nod.

“Exactly,” the older woman replied with a small nod of her own, “each child who is born with black blood is brought here to Polis, to be trained, as they are the only ones who stand a chance of being the next Commander. When a Commander dies, a conclave is called, I don’t know exactly what happens, but out of all the children who enter the conclave, only one will survive. That one child is chosen to become the next Commander.”

“So it’s like a test?” Clarke asked, her brow furrowed a little as she listened to what Luna was telling her.

“From what I understand, that is a very basic way of looking at it, yes.” Luna said, “it’s unknown exactly what takes place, the only people who know are those who are there, and it’s not something that is ever really talked about, it’s just accepted. This child takes on the spirit of the Commander. They retain the memories and feelings of the previous Commanders…”

“But in most belief systems, reincarnation is a new birth, it doesn’t happen when someone is already however many years old.” Clarke replied.

“The spirit of the Commander shares the vessel,” Luna said, thinking about the best way to explain everything to the blonde, “each person is born with a soul of their own, the spirit of the Commander exists alongside that soul. With each Commander that passes, the spirit learns and retains the experiences of that individual. They co-exist.”

“Why?” Clarke asked.

“That depends who you ask,” Luna replied with a small smile, “some believe that only once the lessons of the past have been learnt will the Commander stop being reborn. It is said that only once the world is as it should be, will we all have peace. Some believe Lexa to be the last Commander…”

“Because she has united the clans?” the blonde said.

Luna nodded in reply.

“She has done something that has never been done before,” Luna said, “even before the fall of the bombs the world was divided, people could not find a way to live peacefully with each other. There is a long held belief amongst certain clans that the spirit of the Commander comes from a time before the bombs, that it is something that was created to make the world a perfect place.”

“You talk about it like it’s an actual thing,” Clarke said, “spirits can’t be seen…”

Luna didn’t say anything, she just stood up and walked over to the bookshelf. Clarke watched as she looked for a specific book. Neither of them noticed that Lexa was now standing in the doorway.

“The book that you’re looking for isn’t there.” Lexa said, making her way into the room.

Both Luna and Clarke watched as Lexa walked over to the fireplace, she removed a wooden panel from the wall and took out a book before she walked over to where Clarke was sitting. Opening the book to a specific page she held it out to the blonde.

“You shouldn’t be up and walking around.” Clarke said, glancing from the book to Lexa.

“I’m fine.” The brunette said quietly, “you want to understand?”

Clarke nodded a little and took the book from Lexa’s hand before the brunette sat in the other chair near the fire. As Clarke looked at the page Lexa had opened the book to, it showed an image of a small object which had long thin tendrils coming from it.

“What’s this?” Clarke asked, glancing over at Lexa.

“The spirit of the Commander…” Lexa replied, her eyes fixed on the fire.

“What is it?” the blonde asked.

“Something that is removed from the body of every Commander, before being placed within the vessel of the next Commander,” Lexa said, “during the conclave everyone is tested, if the spirit does not choose them, if it rejects their vessel, they die… once it is placed within someone’s body, it can sense the kind of person they are, what they hope for the future… their ideas, their dreams…”

“I’m not sure I understand…” Clarke said, looking down at the page again before she looked at Lexa, “this thing is inside you?”

“As it has been inside every Commander before me.” Lexa replied with a small nod.

“It retains information…” Clarke said quietly, running over everything in her head, “it is capable of making choices… it…”

“It is what it is.” Lexa said, her jaw clenched a little.

“Does it stop you being… you?” Clarke asked as she looked at Lexa.

“No,” Lexa replied, shaking her head a little, “my thoughts, feelings and emotions are my own.”

“So what’s between us…” Clarke said.

Luna knew that this wasn’t a conversation that was meant for her ears so she quietly left the room.

“Everything I feel for you, I feel as Lexa,” the brunette said, “it’s something that the spirit has never experienced before… it’s… it was believed that, as I have explained to you before, that to be the Commander meant to be alone. That it is not possible to have something, someone, who is more important than the duty of the Commander… My people should come first, feelings that conflict with that…”

“Your head verses your heart…” Clarke said, finally starting to understand.

“I have done things that other Commanders before me have not,” Lexa said with a small nod, “as each Commander before me achieved something that the others had not. The spirit will not choose someone who cannot make things progress… To carry the same ideals as the Commander who came before me would not be progress, it would not help our people move forward. You complete me as a person, Clarke… it is an ongoing conflict with what I know I should do… a single person should not be placed above the needs of the many… but you make me a better person, and as a better person I can be a better Commander…”

“Luna said that the spirit co-exists with who you are…” the blonde replied.

“It does,” Lexa said with another nod, “which is why I know, without question, that my feelings for you are my own. For my entire life, until I met you, I felt that something was missing. When I was with Costia, that feeling was diminished but not completely gone… I… it is almost as though I was waiting for you.”

Clarke couldn’t put into words the thoughts that were currently running through her head, so she simply stood up and walked over to where Lexa was sitting, crouching down and capturing the brunette’s lips with her own.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was sitting on Lexa’s lap, the book still open on her legs as she leant back in Lexa’s arms.

“This symbol…” Clarke said, something finally clicking in her mind.

“The symbol of the Commander.” Lexa replied, looking over Clarke’s shoulder at the image on the page.

“I’ve seen it before.” The blonde said.

“I’m not sure how you could.” Lexa said, her brow furrowed a little.

“The chip Murphy had,” Clarke said, “the thing he said would take someone to the City of Light, it had that symbol on it.”

Clarke sat up a little straighter, everything really falling into place.

“The AI…” she said, “that’s why she wants you…”

“Clarke…?” Lexa asked, suddenly feeling very confused.

“Do you remember back when I first talked to Jaha, and he said that the AI had a place for everyone in the City of Light,” Clarke said, turning in Lexa’s lap a little so she could look at the brunette, “this place where we could all live in peace, with no war and no fighting, and all she wanted in return was you, because she’s been watching you and she wants to understand what has driven you to do what you’ve done…”

Lexa nodded a little, recalling those early conversations that Clarke had with Jaha.

“What if this…” Clarke said motioning to the book.

“The spirit of the Commander.” Lexa said.

“Yeah,” Clarke replied, “what if its… no, it couldn’t be… that makes no sense.”

The brunette sat and looked at Clarke, waiting for the blonde to be able to put her thoughts into words.

“I need to talk to Raven.” Clarke said, suddenly standing up, “can I borrow this?”

“Of course,” Lexa said with a small nod, “but, Clarke…”

“What?” the blonde asked, as she started to walk towards the door.

“It’s the middle of the night,” Lexa replied, “Raven will be asleep.”

“She’ll happily wake up for this,” Clarke said with a small smile, “trust me.”

Lexa sat and looked at the door as Clarke left the room, the brunette’s brow furrowed a little as she tried to piece together what Clarke had been getting at.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Raven woke up to banging on her bedroom door, she grumbled as she climbed out of bed, slowly making her way to the door, the task taking a little more time than usual as she didn’t have her leg brace on. She opened the door to find Clarke standing there.

“The city better be on fire…” Raven grumbled.

“I need your brain.” Clarke said as she walked past Raven and into the room.

“By all means, come in.” Raven said with a sigh as she made her way back over to her bed where Clarke was now sitting.

“Lexa just told me about the spirit of the Commander,” Clarke said, her excited tone piquing Raven’s interest, “I assumed that it was a simple reincarnation belief as she had said that when she died her spirit would choose the next Commander…”

“Religion really isn’t my kink, princess…” Raven replied.

“It isn’t about religion,” Clarke said, rolling her eyes a little, “not really. I mean, they believe it, so it kind of is, but it’s something more than that. Look at this…”

Clarke put the book down on the bed in front of Raven, the mechanic looking at the image on the page.

“Wait a minute…” Raven said, “is that…”

“The same symbol that was on the chip,” Clarke said with a nod, “yes. This… whatever it is, is what the Grounders call the Spirit of the Commander.”

“You’re going to need to explain it to me.” Raven said, looking from the page to Clarke, “I mean, I know I’m a genius but I’m kind of lost.”

“This thing is inside Lexa,” Clarke said, tapping her finger on the page, “she said that it’s removed from the body of the Commander after they die, and put into the body of the next one. It retains memories, it…”

“It’s an AI…” Raven replied, “it’s a fucking AI…”

“It’s something that has been put inside every Commander since the very first one,” Clarke continued, “Luna said that back in the days following the bombs a woman fell from the sky, she was the first Commander…”

Raven put on her leg brace before walking over to the small table which was in her room. She looked on the table for the chip, sure she had put it there when Bellamy had radioed about Lexa being shot.

“Oh no…” Raven said, moving everything off the table.

“What?” Clarke asked.

“The chip,” Raven said, turning to look at the blonde, “it was right here.”

“Where has it gone?” The blonde asked, standing up from the bed, “who else was in the room when…”

“Neva…” Raven replied, heading for the door.

The two girls made their way to the room that Clarke had used when she first arrived in Polis, the room which had quickly become Neva’s bedroom. The small girl was obviously asleep when they got there. Clarke went over to the bed to wake her up.

“Wait a minute…” Raven said quietly as she walked over to the table next to the bed, sitting there she saw the chip.

They quietly made their way back out of the room, deciding not to wake the young girl up, before they went back to Raven’s room. Sitting on the bed, Raven put the chip down on the book next to the image. The symbols matched.

“So this AI, the spirit of the Commander, whatever Lexa wants to call it,” Raven said, “is in some way connected to this AI that Jaha found… Do we know what happened to whoever created the AI?”

“Murphy said that A.L.I.E was created by a team of scientists,” Clarke said, remembering what Murphy had told her a few nights before, “and that it… she… is it an it or a she?”

“That comes down to whether or not you believe that something is alive,” Raven replied with a shrug, “some people believe that anything with an independent thought process is alive, in which case, it would be a she. Others believe that for something to be alive it has to be breathing, I guess it comes down to someone’s belief of what actually makes something alive.”

“What do you think?” Clarke asked.

“The geek in me wants to say it’s a she,” the brunette replied, “but the human in me thinks it would be easier to refer to it as an it.”

“Okay,” Clarke said, “for the first Commander to fall from the sky, she had to be on the Ark, right?”

“I would assume so,” Raven said with a nod, “but if she came down to the ground not long after the bombs fell then it was probably before Unity Day…”

“Which would mean…” Clarke said.

“Polaris…” Raven replied, “the thirteenth station.”

“Didn’t Murphy mention that in the video he had seen, the guy said that A.L.I.E got free,” Clarke said, “that she set off the nukes?”

“Yeah,” Raven said with a nod, “what if whoever created A.L.I.E was on Polaris… I remember reading some classified information somewhere that said Polaris was a science station. They obviously knew that A.L.I.E was… defective, or why would they try to keep it contained…”

“But why have a second AI?” Clarke asked, “Wouldn’t they have learnt their lessons the first time?”

“Scientists never learn,” Raven replied, shaking her head a little, “if something goes wrong the first time, you try and learn from that, improve it. I’m guessing that they created A.L.I.E to try and figure out the worlds’ problems. That’s always been a dream of scientists, figure out the meaning of life, why are we here… years ago they tried building super computers to figure it out. It would make sense that they would think that an AI would be the next logical step.”

“So take what was wrong about A.L.I.E and correct it?” the blonde said, her brow furrowed.

“An AI could never accept that humans are not perfect,” Raven said, “like I said before, without feelings and emotions they would never understand us. They would try to make us like them, take away the pain…”

She picked up the chip from where it was sitting on the book.

“Take away the pain, take away the emotions,” she continued as she looked down at the chip, “without feelings and emotions we would be like an AI… You said this spirit of the Commander thing exists inside Lexa?”

“Yes.” Clarke said with a nod.

“That’s fucking genius,” Raven said with a small smile, “you can’t try and correct something if you co-exist with it… the second AI was created to co-exist with humanity, to work with us to fix whatever is wrong with the world…”

“And right now, this second AI is inside Lexa…” Clarke replied, “would A.L.I.E know that?”

“It’s difficult to say,” Raven said, “I’d guess that it’s aware of it. It would know that we were in space, and if we’re right and the second AI was brought down to the ground by whoever this first Commander was, then chances are that it does know about the second one.”

“What does an intelligent being do when it knows there’s something out there that threatens it…” the blonde said as she looked at Raven.

“It would do whatever it could to destroy it.” Raven replied as she looked at the blonde, “A.L.I.E wants to destroy the second AI, which is why it wants Lexa…”


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's been a long delay since I last updated this, I was having internet issues again and then got dragged into a new Clexa AU which has turned into a monster. But here's the new part of this, I really hope you all enjoy reading it, thanks so much for all the comments and things so far, you're all awesome (If the notes are still at the end of this one, don't worry, I'm obviously continuing it).

 

Lexa woke up to the sun streaming in through the window, when she had finally fallen back to sleep the night before, Clarke was still talking to Raven. At some point the blonde had made her way back to the room that they shared, she had got into bed and herself had gone to sleep without waking Lexa. The brunette knew that wasn’t a good thing, the slightest noise would usually wake her up, even when she was asleep she was aware of her surroundings and never slept to the point where someone could enter her room without her knowing.

The pain she still felt in her stomach let her know that the wound was still an issue, she wouldn’t let Clarke, or anyone else, know just how much of an issue it was. She was Heda, she couldn’t afford for anyone to see that she was still struggling. Lexa knew that Lincoln had done the best that he could do, with direction from Abby, and it had probably saved her life. When she had arrived back in Polis, Abby had explained to her just how close she had been to death. There was a reason Lexa hated guns, and it had little to do with the stories that had been passed down through her people. It was more to do with the fact that she had been raised to understand that taking a life should not be easy, it should not be a simple task, guns made taking lives too easy.

Her own death hadn’t ever been something that had been difficult for her to think about, it was always something that was there in the back of her mind. Being the Commander meant that her life was never going to be a long one. Before she had met Clarke, and after she had lost Costia, the only thing that was important to Lexa was being the best Commander that she could be, doing everything she possibly could to protect and improve the lives of her people. If that had meant dying for them, then that was just something else that she would do. But now things were different.

As she lay there watching the blonde next to her sleep, Lexa couldn’t help but think about everything she had nearly lost. She considered everything that she hadn’t done, the things that she hadn’t said. She couldn’t help but think, if she had died, would Clarke ever really understand just how much she cared, just what she had meant to her. Then there was Neva, the girl who had spent the first 8 years of her life not knowing she had an older sister, not knowing what it felt like to have a family, people that loved her. Neva had spent the first 8 years of her life believing that Lexa was responsible for her being alone, the older girl needed to let her know that she would never be alone again.

For a long time, Lexa’s life had always been about survival, survival for her people, for herself. Clarke had once said to her that maybe life should be about more than just survival, and she had been right. Clarke was right about a lot of things.

A small smile played across Lexa’s lips as Clarke’s eyes started to flutter open. As blue eyes met green, Lexa realised that this kind of morning was her new favourite thing.

“Morning…” she said, her smile growing slightly as Clarke cuddled closer to her.

“How did you sleep?” the blonde asked.

“Good.” Lexa replied with a small nod.

“How are you feeling?” Clarke asked, concern still clearly evident in her voice.

“I’m fine.” Lexa said, trying to reassure the girl.

“You’re not as good at lying as you think you are; you know that right?” the blonde said, quirking her eyebrow a little as she looked at the brunette.

“I’m not lying, Clarke.” Lexa replied.

“Right,” Clarke said with a nod, “which is why you grimaced last night when you turned onto your stomach in your sleep.”

“Obviously, being on my stomach is not going to be the most comfortable position to sleep in,” Lexa said with a sigh, “that does not mean that I’m not fine.”

“Actually it does.” Clarke replied, “can I see how your wound is healing?”

“That’s really not necessary.” Lexa said, moving to get out of bed, the wound on her stomach hurting her though she kept the pain from her face as much as she could.

“Lexa…” Clarke said.

A knock at the door stopped anything more that Clarke was going to say.

“Yes.” Lexa said, standing up and walking towards one of the chairs in the room.

The door opened and Luna stepped into the room.

“The council members are meeting to discuss the Azgeda,” Luna said, looking between Lexa and Clarke, “they are wondering if you’ll be joining us today, there’s speculation that your recent injury is stopping you fulfilling your duties as Heda.”

“I’ll be there.” Lexa said with a small nod.

“Luna, can you explain to the council that Heda still hasn’t healed enough to…” Clarke started to say as she got out of bed.

“I’ll be there.” Lexa repeated as she looked at Luna.

“Sha, Heda.” Luna said, nodding a little before she left the room.

“You’re seriously going to do this?” Clarke asked as she walked closer to where Lexa was sitting.

“Do what, Clarke?” Lexa asked in reply, “my duty? What’s expected of me?”

“Lexa, you nearly died.” The blonde said.

“Well, I didn’t.” Lexa said, shaking her head a little as she picked up a change of clothes, purposefully ignoring Clarke’s eyes, “the world does not stop simply because I was shot. There are things that require my attention, and the council meeting is one of them.”

“Will you at least let me see how you’re healing before you storm off?” Clarke asked.

“If I need anyone to examine how I am healing; I will see your mother.” Lexa said, before she walked into the bathroom, leaving Clarke standing in the bedroom a little shocked at Lexa’s words.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“Will Clarke kom Skaikru be joining us?” one of the Ambassadors asked as the meeting started.

“No, she will not.” Lexa replied, looking at the man, “this is a council meeting, Skaikru are not part of this coalition so there is no reason for them to attend. Luna informed me that this meeting was called to discuss the Azgeda situation.”

“We also wish to discuss Skaikru,” the man said, his eyes never leaving Lexa’s, it was a confidence she had never before seen in the man, “it was one of their weapons that nearly ended your life, after all, Heda.”

“I do not see what needs to be discussed.” Lexa said.

“Skaikru tried to kill you, Heda,” he said, “and yet you let them remain in your city, you continue to share your bed with…”

“The man who shot me is dead,” Lexa said, interrupting him, “an entire people cannot be held responsible for the actions of one man.”

“An example must be set,” he continued, “if his views and opinions are shared by other Skaikru their leadership may not hesitate to try again, if the cost is simply the death of one person.”

Lexa glanced over at Luna, the older woman had her jaw clenched and her eyes fixed on a point on the floor. Her actions told Lexa that she knew this was going to happen and she hadn’t told Lexa beforehand.

“How many others share this view?” Lexa asked, looking around the room.

A few people raised their hands, just under half of the council members.

“Heda, if I may…” Samara said, causing Lexa to nod a little, letting her know she could continue, “I do not believe that Skaikru leadership had any prior knowledge of the attempt on your life, their leader was here in Polis while you were in Azgeda territory…”

“Because their leader shares her bed,” the first man said, interrupting Samara, “it is the perfect cover for an assassination attempt.”

“If Clarke wanted her dead, she’d have killed her already,” Luna said, finally speaking up, “she has had plenty of opportunity.”

“I am sensing the issue here is simply not the attempt on my life,” Lexa said, “many of you obviously still have concerns with Skaikru’s continued presence here in Polis…”

“They are not part of the Coalition, as you yourself stated at the start of this meeting,” the man said, “yet they have been given nothing but preferential treatment since they arrived…”

Lexa raised her hand to stop the man talking, he did so quickly.

“As I explained to this council, when Skaikru first came to Polis, we face a threat that concerns both of our people,” Lexa said, “I also explained that the options for Skaikru joining the Coalition would be discussed once that threat has been taken care of. They have received no more preferential treatment than any other group of people within these city walls.”

“How many other leaders share your bed, Heda.” The man said.

Kassius stepped forward from where he had been standing just behind Lexa’s throne. Lexa raised her hand to stop him.

“Who I choose to share my bed with is none of your concern.” Lexa said.

“It is everyone here’s concern when we believe that you put the needs and wellbeing of other people above those of your own people.” he stated.

“Any issue that you, or any of the other council members, have brought to my attention has been dealt with as swiftly as it ever has been,” Lexa said, gripping the arm rests of her throne a little tighter as she attempted to control the anger which she felt bubbling up inside her, “I am unaware of any time that I have neglected my duties to my people where Skaikru, or anyone else, is concerned.”

Lexa felt herself starting to get a little light headed as she looked around the room, before she looked back at the man.

“If you believe that I am no longer fit to lead, then you are aware of what must be done.” She said.

The man didn’t say anything, he just looked down at the floor. Kassius noticed that Lexa was starting to lose colour in her face and stepped closer to her and quietly whispered in her ear.

“Perhaps a small break in the meeting would be a good idea, Heda.” He said.

“I’m fine.” Lexa replied, shaking her head a little.

Kassius looked over at Luna, who was watching Lexa carefully by this point.

“Heda…” Luna said.

“I’m fine.” Lexa said, her eyes snapping to Luna.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

The meeting dragged on for another hour, ending with someone suggesting that it might be a good idea to have Skaikru join the Coalition sooner, rather than later, and with everyone agreeing to allow Ontari to have her say before the council before Lexa decided whether or not to allow Azgeda back into the Coalition. As the room started to clear out, Kassius made his way out of the room and to the medical clinic to fetch Abby. Luna was the last to leave.

“I’m sorry…” Luna said as she stood by the door, her back to Lexa who was still sitting on her throne.

“For what?” Lexa asked, closing her eyes as she rested her head back against the raised back of the throne.

“Not telling you that the council wished to discuss Skaikru as well as Azgeda.” Luna replied, “perhaps I should have, then you may have been more prepared.”

“Do you share their views, Luna?” Lexa asked in reply.

“I can see how they have reached the views they have.” Luna said, turning around so she was now looking at Lexa.

“That didn’t answer my question.” Lexa said, opening her eyes and looking at the woman who she had long since regarded as a friend.

“It is easy to see how some believe that Clarke has more power over you than anyone should have,” Luna replied, “it is also easy for me to see how others believe that you are treating the Skaikru differently. I can see both sides of the disagreement, knowing Clarke the way I do, knowing what she means to you…”

“Do your views have anything to do with the fact that I agreed with Clarke over the fate of the Grounder girl you wanted locked up?” Lexa asked.

“You’re my Heda, Lexa,” Luna said, “but you’re also my friend. I’ve known you since you couldn’t even carry a sword. I have seen you grow, not only as a leader, but also as a person. I was there when Anya was given you as a second, I listened to her complain that you’d either get her killed, or yourself. She would be proud of the woman you’ve become, Lexa. But I can’t help but think that she would question some of the choices you have made recently.”

“All the choices I have made have been for the good of my people,” Lexa replied, “we cannot continue to live the way we have been. Surviving one day to the next, one battle to the next. Everything I have done, every choice that I have made, has been so that our lives would be better. We cannot survive the way we have been, to move forward things need to be different.”

At that moment Kassius returned with Abby.

“I said I was fine.” Lexa said as she looked at Kassius.

“Kassius isn’t the only person who is worried about you, Lexa.” Abby said, “Clarke came to see me this morning, she said that you had refused to let her check your wound.”

Lexa didn’t say anything, she just sat there clenching her jaw.

“She mentioned that it’s still causing you pain, which you try to hide while you’re awake, but can’t hide while you’re asleep,” Abby said as she and Kassius both walked further into the room, “I’m going to take a guess at you having a raised temperature and a constant feeling of being light-headed as well.”

“Lexa, you should’ve said something…” Luna said as she looked between Lexa and Abby.

“People are already doubting my ability to do my duties, as was made extremely clear to me during the meeting.” Lexa said, looking between the three of them.

“You were shot, Lexa,” Abby said, putting her medical kit down on the small table in the room, “most other people would still be lying in bed this soon afterwards. You’re only human.”

“I’m Heda.” Lexa replied.

“Right now you’re acting like a stubborn child,” Abby said, “you’re no good to your people, or anyone else for that matter, if you don’t look after yourself.”

Lexa didn’t say anything.

“Can I please take a look at your wound?” Abby asked.

Lexa looked at Kassius and Luna, both took that as their cue to leave, leaving Lexa alone with Abby.

“Now, be honest with me,” Abby said as she opened the medical kit, “how are you?”

“The pain is bearable.” Lexa replied.

Abby moved to stand in front of Lexa, the girl shook her head a little and lifted the top she was wearing up so the older woman could see the wound to her stomach.

“The infection is getting worse.” Abby said as she examined the wound, “which tells me you haven’t taken the antibiotics I gave you.”

“I used the cream that Nyko gave me.” Lexa replied.

“Which isn’t strong enough,” Abby said with a sigh, “the cream was to be used alongside the pills. I know you see our medicine as being strange, but you need to start taking the pills or this will just keep getting worse. Do I need to get Clarke to make sure that…”

“No.” Lexa said, interrupting Abby, making the older woman smile a little as she changed the dressing of the wound, “I’ll take them.”

“Good.” Abby replied.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

When Lexa finally made it back to her room, Clarke was sitting in one of the chairs in front of the fire, legs pulled up, reading a book. As the door opened and Lexa walked in, Clarke looked up from the book she was reading, looking at the other girl before looking back at the book.

Lexa closed the door before taking her jacket off, as she hung it near the door she took a deep breath before turning to face Clarke.

“I feel like I should apologise…” she said as she walked closer to the chair that Clarke was sitting in.

“I couldn’t imagine what for.” Clarke replied sarcastically.

“Clarke, I’m sorry…” Lexa said as she reached the girl, “for the longest time I was told that to show pain is a weakness, to allow people to see that I’m in pain is… I’m sorry…”

“I nearly lost you, Lexa.” Clarke said, her brow furrowed as she kept her eyes on the book in front of her though she wasn’t reading it, “I don’t know how to do this without you…”

Lexa gently took the book from Clarke’s hands and placed it down on the small table next to the chair, the blonde didn’t look up from her hands until Lexa dropped down to her knees in front of her.

“You don’t have to,” Lexa said, the sincerity in her eyes making Clarke’s breath catch in her throat, “because I know that I can’t do this without you, I never want to have to try. Clarke, I want your people to become my people, I want Skaikru to be the 13th clan. I never want to have to choose between my people and you again. I want you to be mine, Clarke.”

“I am yours, Lexa.” The blonde replied, softly cupping the brunettes face and bringing their lips together.


	32. Chapter 32

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot going on in this chapter, we have the vote of no confidence, the arrival of Roan in Polis, and the start a plot-twist of massive proportions that I didn't even see coming when I was writing it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like I said in the summary there is a massive plot-twist on the horizon, one that I didn't even see coming as I was writing it, it just kind of hit me like "what the fuck dude", and no, I'm not talking about the possibility that Neva could be a Nightblood. Drop me a comment, let me know what you think.

Clarke paced up and down outside the council meeting room, Lexa had been in the meeting with the Ambassadors from the clans for the last two hours. The previous night they had talked about Skaikru joining the Coalition, becoming the 13th clan, Lexa had told her it wasn’t going to be an easy thing for the other Ambassadors to accept. She had told Clarke about what had happened at the meeting the previous day, when the Ambassador from the Plains clan had seemingly found a burst of confidence which Lexa had never known him possess before, and openly accused her of giving preferential treatment to Skaikru.

“They still in there?” Octavia asked as she walked back into the Commanders compound after her morning training session.

Clarke nodded a little before looking back at the door again, with a sigh she walked over and sat on the stairs, Octavia following behind.

“Skaikru joining the Coalition would solve a lot of problems.” The younger girl said, “political and personal for Lexa…”

“Did Lincoln ever tell you about the spirit of the Commander?” Clarke asked, wanting Octavia to know exactly how bad things were at that moment.

“Yeah,” Octavia said with a nod, “the spirit chooses the next Commander, it guides them…”

“It’s an Artificial Intelligence that is inside Lexa.” Clarke replied.

“It’s a what now?” Octavia asked in reply.

“You know about ALIE,” Clarke said, causing Octavia to nod a little, “well the AI inside Lexa is like ALIE 2, it’s an improvement on the first version, which, you know, tried to end the world…”

“She has an Artificial Intelligence in her head?” Octavia asked, still not able to get her own head around what Clarke was saying.

“From what me and Raven can figure out, yeah.” Clarke said with a nod.

“Does she know?” the younger girl asked.

“She knows it’s something,” Clarke said as she looked at the meeting room door, “she doesn’t know what it is. They are taught to believe that this thing is the spirit of the Commander, it’s all the previous Commanders that came before… which is kind of is, as it takes a part of them. It learns from them; it exists within them…”

“Are you going to tell her?” Octavia said.

“Not sure how to.” The blonde said with a shrug.

The meeting room door opened and Kassius walked out, followed by most of the Ambassadors, all bar Luna.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked as she and Octavia stood up.

“They are taking a short break.” Kassius replied.

“Before what?” Octavia asked.

Kassius looked between Clarke and Octavia.

“Before they vote.” He said.

“On Skaikru joining the Coalition?” Clarke asked.

“No,” he said, “there is one thing that needs to be settled before that is discussed.” He replied, the look in Clarke’s eyes let her know exactly what he meant.

“A vote of no confidence…” Clarke said, sitting back down on the stairs.

“What?” Octavia asked looking at the blonde.

“The only things that can remove a Commander from power, is a unanimous vote of no confidence from the Ambassadors, or death.” Clarke replied.

“Well that’s just stupid, who made that shit up?” the younger asked.

“Lexa.” Clarke said, “she believes that if all the Ambassadors agree that she is failing in her duties as Heda, then she can be replaced.”

“What happens if they vote unanimously?” Octavia asked, looking between Clarke and Kassius.

“We leave Polis, fast.” Clarke said with a sigh, before she looked up at Kassius, “how likely is a unanimous vote?”

He didn’t say anything, but the look in his eyes told Clarke all she needed to know.

“Luna wouldn’t…” Octavia started to say.

“She would,” Clarke said shaking her head a little, “if she believed it was for the best. If she believes that someone else is influencing the Commanders decisions…”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“You don’t look too surprised.” Luna said as she stood near the window behind Lexa’s throne.

“I’m not.” Lexa replied, “I had hoped it would not come to this, but I was mistaken.”

“If he does not get a unanimous vote, you know he will issue a challenge.” Luna said.

“I am aware.” Lexa said with a small nod.

“You’re in no state to fight, Lexa.” Luna said, turning to look at the younger girl who was still sitting on her throne, “you will have to choose a champion.”

“I am Heda,” Lexa said, “no one fights for me.”

Luna didn’t say anything more; she knew there was no point. She wouldn’t be able to say anything to change Lexa’s mind. She now had a choice to make herself. She never imagined that she would ever vote against Lexa, she never imagined that she would ever even consider it, but she knew that Lexa was still healing from the bullet wound. The Ambassador of the Plains clan would issue a challenge if the vote failed, which normally wouldn’t worry Luna, she had seen Lexa in battle she knew what she was capable of, but that was when Lexa wasn’t still carrying an injury which had nearly killed her.

As she turned and started to walk from the room she avoided Lexa’s eyes.

“Do what you believe is right, Luna,” Lexa said, stopping her in her tracks, “I will think no less of you.”

Luna lowered her head a little as she walked from the room.

“Aren’t you going to talk to her?” Octavia said quietly to Clarke as they watched Luna leave the room.

“I can’t…” Clarke replied, “there’s nothing I can say to her, this has to be her decision.”

Octavia shook her head a little and walked after Luna. Clarke stood up and walked to the council room, knowing that Lexa would be alone.

“What happens if the vote fails?” Clarke asked as she walked into the room, closing the door behind her.

“There is a high likelihood that a challenge will be issued.” Lexa replied, not taking her eyes from the window she was now looking out of.

“A challenge?” Clarke asked as she walked over to where Lexa was standing.

“A fight,” Lexa clarified, “soulou gonplei…”

“To the death?” the blonde asked, fearing that she already knew the answer.

“That is our way.” Lexa said with a nod.

“How are you so calm about this?” Clarke said as she stopped next to Lexa.

“There is nothing I can do to change the outcome.” The brunette replied, “whatever happens, happens, I cannot stop it.”

“Who will you fight?” Clarke asked.

“The Ambassador himself, or a champion of his choosing if he decides not to fight me personally.” Lexa said.

“So you can choose someone to fight for you, right?” the blonde said, her mind running through the possibilities.

“I am Heda, Clarke,” Lexa said with a soft smile as she looked at the blonde, “no one fights for me.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke stood at the back of the council room with Octavia and Indra as the meeting reconvened. Others were also present in the room who hadn’t been there before, the blonde assumed it was because of the vote which was about to take place.

Kassius stepped forward from his position next to Lexa, he looked around the room at the Ambassadors.

“What say you?” he asked.

“Nou Heda nomou.” The Ambassador of the Plains clan said as he stood up.

Lexa kept her face emotionless as one after another the Ambassadors stood and repeated his words. 9 of the 12 Ambassadors were on their feet, the next was Luna. Clarke looked at the older woman and saw her looking at Lexa, she could tell that Luna was running over things in her mind.

“Luna?” Kassius asked.

Luna shook her head a little and remained seated. Clarke could see something that almost looked like relief in Lexa’s eyes as the brunette glanced over at the leader of the Boat People.

“The vote of no confidence has failed.” Kassius said.

“Then I issue a challenge.” The Plains clan Ambassador said.

“Your challenge is accepted.” Lexa replied without hesitation.

“Choose your champion.” Kassius said stepping forward a little.

The Ambassador of the Plains clan looked towards the back of the room, a man stepped forward, his head bowed slightly. Clarke couldn’t stop her eyes widening as she saw the man, he was over a foot taller than Lexa and was close to Kassius’s size.

“Heda,” Kassius said, turning back to look at Lexa, “choose your champion.”

Lexa’s warriors who were in the room all straightened their backs a little, like they would all be proud to be chosen to fight for their Commander.

“Ai laik Heda,” Lexa said, her face void of all emotion, “Non na throu doun gon ai.”

“What does that mean?” Bellamy asked very quietly from where he was standing near Clarke.

“I am Heda,” Clarke translated, “no one fights for me.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“Bellamy told me what happened.” Raven said as she sat down next to Clarke near the training area, “You okay?”

“Do you want the honest answer, or the answer I just gave my mother?” Clarke asked with a sigh as she watched Lexa fight with Indra.

“Let’s go with the honest answer.” Raven replied with a small smile.

“No, I’m really not,” Clarke said, shaking her head a little, “the guy she has to fight is huge, Raven, like Kassius’s size… she’s still healing.”

“I’m guessing you can’t talk her out of this…” Raven said.

“I can’t,” the blonde replied, “Kassius explained it to me, if she doesn’t do this then she will be seen as unfit to lead her people, they’ll kill her anyway.”

“Can she do it?” Raven asked as she looked at Clarke, “don’t think about the answer, just answer.”

“Yes,” Clarke said with a nod, knowing in her heart that Lexa could win, “she doesn’t know how to fail…”

A clatter came from the arena, both Clarke and Raven looked over and saw Lexa picking up Indra’s sword, holding it out to her.

“Again.” Lexa said.

“Heda…” Indra said, noticing that Lexa was starting to lose colour in her face as she wiped the sweat from her forehead.

“Again.” Lexa repeated, “if you’re not able to continue, I will find someone else.”

Indra looked over at Clarke, the blonde let out a sigh and stood up, walking over to where Lexa and Indra were standing.

“Lexa, maybe you should…” Clarke started before Lexa turned her head to look at the blonde, the look in her eyes causing Clarke to stop talking.

“I’ll train with you, Heda.” Octavia said, walking into the arena.

Lexa nodded once, Clarke looked at Indra, the older woman just sighed and shook her head before she walked away. Lexa walked away from where Clarke was to pour herself a cup of water, Octavia looked at Clarke.

“She needs to do this.” Octavia said.

“I know,” Clarke replied, “it doesn’t mean I have to like it.”

“I’ll make sure she’s back in one piece,” Octavia said with a small smile, “I promise.”

Clarke nodded a little, her eyes trailing over to Lexa before she shook her head a little and walked away.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

When night fell and Lexa hadn’t returned to the room she shared with Clarke, the blonde decided to take a walk through the compound and find her. The blonde figured she’d start with the training arena, but found it empty. The council room was empty as well, which didn’t leave Clarke with many places to look. After checking the library; she walked back up the stairs. She found Lexa sitting at the bottom of Neva’s bed watching the young girl sleep.

“Have you told her what’s going to happen?” Clarke asked quietly as she walked into the room, softly resting her hand on Lexa’s shoulder as the brunette shook her head a little.

“No,” Lexa replied, “I wasn’t sure what to say.”

“She’s a smart kid…” the blonde said.

“I’m unsure why her being intelligent is important here,” Lexa said, finding herself leaning closer to Clarke, “she is still a child.”

“She would understand, Lexa.” Clarke said, her heart aching a little as she held Lexa a little closer to her.

“If anything happens…” Lexa started to say.

“Lex…” Clarke said, interrupting her.

“If anything happens,” Lexa repeated, “I want you to take her back with you. She needs to be around people she knows, people who care…”

“Okay.” Clarke said with a nod.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Nyko handed Lexa a cup while Abby changed the dressing over the sutures from the bullet wound.

“To help with the pain, Heda.” He said as Lexa looked at him questioningly.

Lexa looked down at the liquid in the cup.

“It will not impair your ability to fight, it simply numbs the pain receptors in the brain,” Nyko explained, “you will not feel the pain until later.”

“Are you sure that’s wise?” Abby asked, looking between Nyko and Lexa, “being unable to feel the pain during a fight isn’t a good thing, how will you know when to stop?”

“The fight ends when someone stops breathing, Abby,” Lexa said, glancing up at her before looking back down at the cup, “not before.”

“Oh,” Abby said, her eyes travelling to the door when she heard it slowly open, seeing Clarke standing there, “well, be sure not to tear these sutures, I wouldn’t want to have to patch you up again when you’ve won.”

“I will do my best.” Lexa said with a small smile before she drank what was in the cup, grimacing a little at the taste.

“That’s all anyone ever asks, Lexa.” Abby said quietly to the girl, noticing her jaw clench a little.

A knock at the door caused Lexa to look up.

“It’s time, Heda.” Kassius said with a small smile.

Lexa nodded a little before standing up. Abby and Nyko both left the room as Lexa started putting on the armour she would be wearing. Kassius waited by the door as Clarke walked into the room.

“Is everything in place?” Lexa asked, looking at Kassius.

He nodded a little.

“What do you mean, is everything in place?” Clarke asked looking between the two of them.

“Plans need to be in place, for if this has a… negative outcome.” Lexa said, busying herself with putting on her armour.

“You mean if you lose?” Clarke asked.

“Every eventuality must be considered.” Lexa replied with a small nod.

“You’re not going to lose, Lexa.” The blonde said, stepping closer to the Commander, “you don’t know how to.”

A small smile tugged at Lexa’s lips.

“My stubbornness may not be enough.” She said, glancing up at Clarke.

“You’re not going to lose.” Clarke said, “you’re going to get through this.”

“Neva is with Raven,” Lexa said, looking up at Clarke, “if things go badly you will have 24 hours to leave Polis.”

“We’re not going to need it, because things are going to work out.” Clarke said, softly cupping Lexa’s face in her hands and resting her forehead against the brunette’s, “you told me I wouldn’t have to do this without you, Lexa…”

Kassius looked down at the floor, this moment was not meant for him to witness.

Lexa didn’t reply, she just brought her own hands up to cup the blonde’s face before softly kissing her forehead.

“In this life or the next…” Lexa said quietly, before backing away from Clarke and picking up her sword, leaving the blonde alone as she walked from the room.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

As the deafening sounds of the people of Polis chanting ‘Heda’ rang out around the small arena, Lexa attempted to steady her breathing, she could taste her own blood in her mouth and knew that she would have a few wounds for a healer to attend to. She raised her head as she looked towards the small raised stage, all of the ambassadors stood from their seats and dropped down onto one knee. Kassius nodded his head, the relief clear in his eyes.

The sight of her warriors pushing through the crowds of people caused her to turn her attention from the small stage. She saw Ryder and a few others moving towards her, Ryder was dragging someone behind him.

“We found him trying to enter the compound.” Ryder said, pushing a man Lexa knew well down onto his knees before her.

“Prince Roan of Azgeda.” Lexa said as the crowd of people dropped into a stunned silence.

“Heda.” Roan replied, his head bowed.

“You were told if you were ever seen on my land again you would be executed.” Lexa said.

“I come to you with an offer, Heda.” Roan said, looking up a little towards Lexa.

“You have nothing that would be beneficial to me,” Lexa replied, “what could you possibly offer.”

“I offer you a lasting peace between Azgeda and Trikru,” Roan said, “and Azgeda loyalty to the Coalition, and to you.”

“Something which is not yours to offer.” Ryder said from behind him.

“Ontari is a Natblida.” Roan said quickly.

“Impossible.” Kassius said as he walked down from the stage, his eyes fixed on Roan.

“What’s a Natblida?” Octavia asked Clarke.

“Someone with black blood,” Clarke said, her brow furrowed a little, “only someone with black blood can be the Commander, I have no idea why. But if Ontari is a Nightblood then she should have been at Lexa’s conclave… I don’t understand how she wasn’t.”

“Explain.” Lexa said as she glared down at Roan.

“My mother kept her from the testing,” Roan said, his eyes locked on the floor again, “her intention was to kill you and have Ontari take over as the next Commander, giving Azgeda rule over everything.”

“Your mother banished Ontari.” Lexa said.

“That was the backup plan, Heda,” he said, glancing up at Lexa again, “I assume that when you were in Azgeda territory you were told I was on my way here to assassinate your… Wanheda.”

“Take him to the council room.” Lexa said, snapping her eyes up to Ryder, “make him… moderately comfortable.”

Ryder nodded a little and pulled Roan to his feet. Lexa looked at Octavia.

“Find Echo, now.” She said.

“Sha, Heda.” Octavia said with a small nod before she pushed her way back through the crowd and went in search of Echo.

“Lexa…” Clarke said as she walked towards the Commander.

“Not here.” Lexa replied, shaking her head a little, “accompany your mother to our room?”

Clarke nodded a little, knowing that the eyes of Polis were on them in that moment, totally understanding why Lexa had said what she had.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“I thought I said I didn’t want to have to patch you up again.” Abby said, cleaning the blood from Lexa’s mouth.

“You said you didn’t wish to re-suture my stomach wound,” Lexa replied with a small wince, “you did not mention new wounds.”

Clarke laughed a little as her mother fought to keep the small smile from her lips as she shook her head.

“So what happens now?” Clarke asked, wanting to find out what was going to happen with Roan and the information that he had brought to Lexa.

“If Ontari is in fact a natblida, then the next few days may be extremely interesting.” Lexa replied.

“Your definition of interesting and mine must be very different.” Clarke said, shaking her head a little.

“The information I had regarding Ontari came from Echo,” Lexa said as she looked at Clarke, “she told me that Nia had banished Ontari as she feared she would cause the Azgeda to rise up against her.”

“So…” Clarke said.

“So,” Lexa said, “someone is lying to me.”

“Wasn’t Echo the one sending you the information about the Azgeda?” Clarke asked, sitting down on the sofa as her mother finished cleaning up Lexa’s wounds.

“Yes,” Lexa said, wincing again as Abby worked, “what better way to get me to trust her than to seemingly do what I asked her to do when she left the Mountain.”

“What would Echo stand to gain from lying to you for all this time?” Abby asked.

“It is the only thing that makes any sense.” Lexa replied.

“Maybe Roan is lying,” Clarke said, “did you think of that. His mother is dead, someone else has taken over the Azgeda, he’s stuck with nowhere else to go. He’s desperate.”

“He risks his life even being seen on my land, Clarke,” Lexa said, looking over at the blonde, “he may be desperate, but he is not stupid.”

A knock at the door stopped the conversation.

“Enter.” Lexa said, causing Abby to step away from her and Clarke to stand up.

Octavia opened the door.

“Echo is here, Heda.” She said.

“Thank you, Octavia.” Lexa said, causing the younger girl to nod a little.

Echo walked into the room, seeing Clarke and Abby there she started to wonder just what this was about.

“You wanted to see me, Heda?” she asked.

“There is something that is troubling me.” Lexa said with a sigh as she stood up, “as I’m sure you’re aware, Prince Roan arrived in Polis a matter of hours ago…”

“I didn’t…” Echo started to say, Lexa raised her hand a little, stopping her talking.

“Why did you not inform me that Ontari was a natblia?” Lexa asked.

Clarke looked between the two, Lexa was calm, or she appeared to be, the blonde was sure that emotions were running rampant under the surface as they usually were. Echo, on the other hand, she looked surprised at Lexa’s question.

“I wasn’t aware that she was, Heda.” Echo replied.

“Nia trusted you,” Lexa said as she slowly started pacing back and forth, “you were in her personal guard at the Azgeda palace when you returned from the Mountain, you made that clear to me when you and I discussed you sharing information.”

Echo didn’t say anything, as Lexa hadn’t actually asked her a question.

“How could you be in her personal guard and be unaware that one of her warriors was a natblida?” Lexa asked.

“It is not information that was shared with me, Heda,” Echo said, “if it had been, I would have told you.”

“Is it genetic?” Clarke asked, thinking out loud.

“Is what genetic, Clarke?” Lexa asked with a sigh.

“Being a Nightblood, is it genetic?” the blonde asked as she looked at Lexa.

“I don’t know,” Lexa answered honestly, “as far as I am aware, most people who give birth to a natblida do not have a second child.”

“Why not?” Abby asked from where she was now standing near the side of the room.

“A natblida is usually removed from their parents at a young age,” Lexa replied, glancing over at the older woman, “that is not always the case, but it is generally what happens. They are then trained for the day they might be called to be the next Commander.”

“And no parent is going to want to go through that twice.” Abby said with a small nod.

“Has Neva been tested?” Clarke asked Lexa.

“You are as likely to know the answer to that question as I am, Clarke,” Lexa said, “as you have been as aware of her existence as I have for as long as I have.”

“I thought all Grounder children were tested…” Clarke said.

“Octavia,” Lexa said, causing the younger girl to walk into the room, “can you please bring Neva here, she should be with Raven.”

Octavia nodded a little before she left again, this time to track down Neva.


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay with this update, hope you enjoy this, drop me a comment, let me know :) (I am obviously finishing this story, so don't worry about the notes at the end if they are still there)

 

Abby had finished cleaning up Lexa’s wounds and was standing off to the side of the room with Echo when Octavia arrived back with Neva. The young girl looked confused as she looked around the room, a small smile passing her lips as she looked at Clarke.

“Do you know what a natblida is?” Lexa asked Neva as Octavia closed the door, choosing to remain in the room in case she was needed again.

Neva nodded a little as she walked closer to where Lexa was sitting.

“Someone with black blood who may be chosen as the next Commander.” Neva replied.

“Do you remember being tested?” Lexa asked in reply.

“I don’t remember,” Neva said, shaking her head a little, “but I think I bleed red.”

Lexa held her dagger in her hand as she looked at her younger sister.

“May I?” Lexa asked.

Neva nodded, stepping closer to Lexa, holding her hand out. Lexa put the tip of her blade on Neva’s finger, with very little pressure the skin on the younger girls finger broke, dark blood pooling around the tip of the blade. Lexa picked up a small piece of cloth which was sitting on the nearby table, pressing it to Neva’s finger she waited a few seconds as the blood was soaked up.

“Moment of truth…” Clarke said, from where she stood near the brunette.

Lexa took the cloth away, looking at it to reveal a black liquid. She swallowed hard, closing her eyes. Her people often believed it was an honour to be born a natblida, Lexa herself wasn’t so sure. She used to believe, as her people did, that it was an honour, something to be proud of. Now she knew differently. As she had gotten older she saw it for what it was, other than for the chosen one who would go on to become Commander, it was a death sentence.

“Well…” Octavia questioned.

“It’s black…” Lexa replied, letting out a long slow breath, “this knowledge stays within this room. If anyone within these walls speaks of this…”

“Heda,” Echo said, “she is a natblida, she must…”

“She is a child,” Lexa snapped, turning her head to look at Echo, “I will not condemn the only family I have left, other than Kassius, to death. The life of the Commander is one of sacrifice, I will not sacrifice her life.”

“Sha, Heda.” Echo replied.

“I’m not sure I understand…” Abby said.

“Only those with black blood can be the next Commander,” Lexa said, standing up from where she was sitting, “the flame will reject and kill those with red blood. When I die, the conclave will be called. Of all the natblida’s who enter the conclave, only one will survive.”

“If it is so rare, if only a Nightblood can become Commander, why kill them all?” Clarke asked.

“It is our way.” Lexa replied.

“It’s stupid.” Clarke mumbled.

“I do not expect you to understand…” Lexa said, shaking her head a little.

“Heda, Ryder was wondering what you wanted him to do with Roan, he’s still in the council room.” Octavia said, trying to get rid of some of the atmosphere which had suddenly surrounded the room.

“Roan is here?” Neva asked, the tone of her voice causing both Clarke and Lexa to look at her.

Lexa walked over to the younger girl, grimacing slightly as she crouched down in front of her, the wounds from the earlier fight causing her some pain.

“What do you know of Roan?” she asked.

“He is Nia’s son,” Neva replied, “the prince of Azgeda. He taught me to fight, can I show him my new sword, I think he would like it.”

“Is he your friend?” Lexa asked in reply, causing Neva to nod a little.

The wheels started to turn in Lexa’s mind, a man like Roan was no one’s friend.

“Did you know Roan was coming to Polis?” Lexa asked Neva, standing up again as she did so.

“He talked of it often.” Neva replied.

Lexa turned and rested her hands on the edge of the table, gripping her hands tightly enough on the edges that her knuckles turned white. Clarke looked at Lexa before she looked back at Neva.

“Do you want to go back and see Raven?” the blonde asked with a small smile.

“Did I do the wrong thing?” Neva asked.

“O…” Clarke said, looking at her friend.

“I’ve got it.” Octavia replied with a small nod, walking over to where Neva was, “come on kid, let’s go and see if Raven’s managed to blow anything up.”

“Octavia…” Lexa said, turning her head and looking at her.

“I know.” Octavia said, knowing exactly what Lexa’s look meant, Neva was not to be out of her sight.

As Octavia left the room with Neva, Clarke looked at Echo and Abby.

“Can you give us a minute.” She said.

Echo nodded and walked from the room.

“The spy that Luna mentioned…” Abby said.

“Mom, please.” Clarke said.

Abby sighed but left the room as she had been asked to. Clarke turned back to Lexa.

“This doesn’t have to mean what you think it does.” The blonde said, walking over to the brunette.

“I walked right into it.” Lexa said, shaking her head as she stepped away from the table, and Clarke, “she is dead and she is still finding ways to destroy me.”

“Lexa…” Clarke said.

“Two natblida’s, Clarke,” Lexa said, turning to face the blonde, “two. If her original plan didn’t work, she had a backup. She sends my sister here to kill me, raising her to despise the very idea of who I am. Information has been leaving these walls, I assumed that it was Echo, now I believe that I am wrong, and I was too blind to see it.”

“How would Neva get any information out of here, Lexa,” Clarke said, “she couldn’t read until she came here, so I think it’s pretty safe to say she couldn’t write either.”

“A messenger doesn’t just carry a physical letter, they can also carry a vocal one,” Lexa replied, “she may have passed the information on to someone else, who then wrote it down… Nia, once again, used my weakness against me. She knew that I would be too distracted by Neva being my blood to see the truth. I…”

“Okay,” Clarke said, “so we work out who Neva has been in contact with, who she’s spoken to on a regular basis, then we find the leak.”

“Nobody within these walls has an Azgeda connection,” Lexa said, sitting down on one of the chairs, “after Costia, I… I made sure of that.”

“What about the Azgeda Ambassador?” Clarke asked, “I know you trust him, the only reason you agreed to him being here was because he was loyal to you, but…”

“He wouldn’t,” Lexa said, shaking her head, “he understands the penalty for that, I explained it to him in graphic detail.”

“Does anyone work here who has a connection to him?” Clarke asked, “anyone that he recommended?”

Lexa stood up and walked from the room, obviously she had thought of something, Clarke rolled her eyes and sighed as she followed her from the room.

“Lexa,” she said, as they walked, “talk to me…”

Clarke followed Lexa until they reached the kitchens.

“Where is Alec?” Lexa said, looking at the people who were working there.

“He has not been here in a week, Heda,” one of the men replied, “he informed us that his nomon was sick…”

“He has no nomon,” Lexa said, “he was brought to Polis two years ago as an orphan.”

“Heda…” the man said.

“Before he left, did he spend any time talking to Neva?” Lexa asked.

“Sha, Heda,” the man replied with a nod, “they were often talking.”

Lexa walked back out of the kitchen and towards the council room, Kassius was waiting outside the room.

“Bring me the Azgeda Ambassador.” She said.

“Heda,” Kassius replied, “his wife is in childbirth.”

“Bring him here, now.” Lexa said, walking into the council room.

“I cannot force him to come here, Heda, his wife…” Kassius said, following her into the room.

“It was not a request Kassius.” Lexa said.

Kassius bowed his head a little before leaving the room, as he was leaving he stopped next to Clarke, who was still wondering who Alec was.

“How far along is his wife?” Clarke asked.

“The goufa is due any moment.” Kassius replied.

“Once she has had the baby, bring him here,” Clarke said with a sigh, “I’ll delay Lexa…”

Kassius nodded again before he left the compound.

Clarke walked into the council room, seeing Roan sitting on one of the chairs, his feet tied to the front legs. Lexa was now sitting on her throne, just looking at him. With a sigh, Clarke closed the doors to the council room and walked closer to where Lexa was sitting. Ryder and a few of her guard were still in the room, standing near where Lexa was sitting.

“How was your mother getting information?” Lexa asked Roan.

“Heda,” Roan said, “as I’m sure you’re very aware I wasn’t part of my mothers council for the last few years of her leadership.”

“Do you think I’m stupid, Roan?” Lexa asked.

Roan looked at Clarke, he obviously wasn’t sure how to answer the question.

“It is a simple question,” Lexa said, “Wanheda cannot answer it for you.”

“No,” Heda,” Roan said, “I don’t think you’re stupid.”

“Bearing that in mind, Prince Roan,” Lexa said, inclining her head slightly, “I will ask again, where was your mother getting her information.”

“I am unaware,” he said, “but I am aware of where Ontari was getting the recent information she has received since my mothers death.”

“Where.” Lexa said.

“Your kitchen boy, Heda.” Roan replied.

“And his information?” Lexa asked.

“It is not difficult to uncover information when you can pass unseen,” Roan replied, “I assume he could walk around under the guise of his position. His original placing here was my mother’s idea, Heda, though his loyalty was never solely with her, but with his sister.”

“Ontari…” Lexa said, leaning back on her throne slightly, “what of my sister, Prince Roan…”

“She is an extremely intelligent child, Heda,” Roan said, “a fast learner.”

“Why was she sent here?” Lexa asked.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Raven was standing at the work bench she had set up in the room which Lexa had given her, talking to Octavia about the chip they had from Murphy, she still had no idea exactly what it did or what it was for, but she and Clarke had figured out that it was in some way connect to the AI that was inside Lexa.

“So this thing does what?” Octavia asked, looking down at the small chip.

“Honestly, not sure.” Raven replied, her brow furrowed a little, “Murphy said something about it being the key to something called the City of Light. Now it has the same symbol on it as…”

Raven glanced at Neva and saw that she was sitting near the door which connected the small room to Lexa’s council room.

“You okay kid?” Raven asked, Neva nodded a little in reply.

The younger girl was trying to listen to what was going on in the council room, she couldn’t hear exactly what was being said, but she knew that Lexa was talking to Roan about her.

“So there’s a connection between that and…” Octavia said.

“Yeah,” Raven replied with a nod, “I just need to work out what that connection is.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“You know why she was sent here, Heda,” Roan said, “I assume that is why you had my mother killed.”

“I did not have your mother killed, Roan,” Lexa replied, “I killed her myself. Something that I should have done long ago.”

“If I can ask,” Roan said, “how did she die?”

“Too quickly considering the pain and destruction she has caused.”

“With all due respect, Heda,” he said, “you cannot condemn someone else for causing pain and destruction when you, yourself, have been the cause of much pain and destruction for many people.”

“Octavia was right,” Lexa said, causing Clarke to look at her, “when people say ‘with all due respect’ it is just a polite way of saying fuck you…”

Clarke bit back the laugh that was threatening to escape her at Lexa’s words, she had never heard the Commander use those words before, and it amused her greatly.

“Unlike your mother, I take no pleasure in the things I have done,” Lexa continued, “I am not someone who easily believes that the end justifies the means, but every life that I have ended, every war that I have fought in, has lead us closer towards the peace that we all hope for. Your mother did not want peace, Roan, she wanted control.”

“You do not have peace, Heda.” Roan said, “and you will not have peace until you have someone in the North who wishes for the same thing.”

“And you believe that you’re that person?” Lexa asked.

“I believe that you already know the answer to that question.” Roan replied.

“I do not trust you, nor do I like you,” Lexa said, “I am starting to think that leading my armies North and letting the chips fall as they may would be a better option.”

“Another war, Heda?” Roan asked, “how will you convince the Ambassadors that marching on Azgeda is the best option when you will not even lead an attack against Skaikru when they tried to kill you?”

“A war against Azgeda would settle the issues in the North once and for all,” Lexa replied, “as for Skaikru, it was a small group and the men responsible are dead, not that I have to explain myself in any way to you. By my own laws, you should be dead, I owe you nothing.”

“And yet I am still alive, Heda.” Roan said.

“You may yet be of use to me, Prince Roan of Azgeda.” Lexa said before she looked at Ryder, “see to it that Prince Roan is roomed securely.”

Ryder nodded slightly as Lexa stood up from her throne and walked from the room, Clarke following on behind.

“Wanheda.” Roan said, stopping Clarke in her tracks.

Clarke turned and looked at him.

“Neva is but a child,” he said, “she did not know that she was doing wrong. She does not deserve to be punished.”

“Heda isn’t one to forgive someone betraying her trust,” Clarke replied, “the situation here is complicated.”

“Should a child be executed for talking to someone she believed was a friend?” Roan asked.

“The choice isn’t mine to make.” Clarke said, walking from the room.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Raven and Octavia were standing off to the side of the room, Neva couldn’t hear what they were talking about. She had heard the word execution used in the council room, she didn’t understand what she had done wrong. On the work bench she saw the chip that Raven had spent the day looking at, Raven had told her that it was a key that took people away, it stopped them feeling pain and emotions. She enjoyed spending time with Raven, the older girl always explained things to her, never really treated her like a child.

If she swallowed the chip she could go to the City of Light, she would be safe, she wouldn’t cause Lexa any more pain. Neva stood up and quietly walked over to the work bench.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Lexa made her way through the streets of Polis, night had long since fallen and the streets were relatively quiet. Her guards were following her, as she was sure Clarke was as well. When she neared the Azgeda Ambassadors home she saw Kassius standing outside.

“I told you to bring him to me.” Lexa said.

Kassius didn’t say anything, he just lowered his eyes.

“It was my fault he didn’t.” Clarke said, causing Lexa to turn her head and look at her.

“And what gives you the right to countermand my orders?” Lexa asked, her jaw clenched as she looked at the blonde, “this is exactly why the Ambassadors questioned my ability to do my duty, you cannot be openly seen to second guess what I say, to openly doubt that what I am doing is correct. You were already told…”

“I thought there would be more time.” Clarke said, stepping closer to Lexa, hoping to calm the brunette down.

“We are out of time, Clarke.” Lexa said, turning from her and walking into the Ambassadors house.

Clarke stood looking at the door that Lexa had just walked through, she had no idea what to do. Lexa was angry with her, rightly so.

“Go back to the compound,” Kassius said, resting his hand lightly on her shoulder, “I will keep my eye on her, and attempt to calm her before we return.”

Clarke nodded and turned around, walking back towards the compound.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Instead of going back to the compound, Clarke had gone to a small clearing nearby. She needed to think. She knew, deep down, that Neva wouldn’t have passed on any information intentionally. She had spent enough time around the child to know the strength of the bond which had developed quickly between the youngster and the Commander, she knew that’s what would have been eating away at Lexa.

While she was thinking she heard someone approaching her, glancing behind her she saw Luna, knowing that the older woman had intentionally walked louder than normal so Clarke would know she was there. In her hand she held a backpack.

“How did you find me?” Clarke asked.

“Lexa likes to spend time here when she needs to clear her head,” Luna replied, “I rightly assumed that you would like this space as well.”

“What’s that?” Clarke asked, motioning to the backpack.

“You asked if your ex-Chancellor had anything with him when my men picked him up,” Luna said, putting the backpack down near where Clarke was sitting, “he did, he had this. My men have been unable to open it.”

Clarke took the blade from where it sat at the base of her back and pushed it into the top of the backpack, pulling the blade upwards the hardtop opened.

“Well that was easy enough…” Luna said as she and Clarke looked at what was in the backpack, “What is that?”

“Gotcha…” Clarke said, a small smile playing on her lips.

“Clarke…” Luna said.

“The AI…” Clarke said, glancing up at Luna, “I think this is it, I’m going to have to get it to Raven to be sure.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“Neva…” Raven said, looking at the young girl who was holding the chip, “put that down.”

“Come on kid,” Octavia said, slowly walking towards where Neva was standing, “put it back on the table.”

“What would happen if I take this?” Neva asked, looking from the chip in her hand to Raven.

“I don’t know,” Raven replied honestly, “but I don’t want to find out. Please put it down.”

“You said that your friend told you this is a key to the City of Light,” Neva said, her eyes now fixed on the chip, “somewhere that there is no pain, somewhere I can’t hurt Lexa anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” Raven asked, “Lexa loves you, you haven’t hurt her.”

“But I did,” Neva replied, looking up at Raven, her green eyes now brimming with tears, “I didn’t mean to, I didn’t know talking to the boy in the kitchen would… I didn’t know that he…”

“Neva,” Raven said, “hey, listen to me. Lexa knows you didn’t mean it, okay, she knows. It’s okay, it’ll be okay, just put the chip down.”

“I’m sorry…” Neva said, looking at Raven and Octavia before she brought her hand up to her mouth, the chip with it.

“No.” Raven said, she and Octavia reaching Neva at the same time, “no, no, no…”

As Neva swallowed the chip the door opened and Clarke walked in carrying the backpack.

“Hey Raven,” she said, “got a present for…”

“Put your fingers down her throat,” Octavia said as she and Raven laid Neva down, “make her throw it up.”

Clarke dropped the backpack and ran over to the girls.

“What happened?” she asked.

“She took the chip,” Raven said, looking from Clarke to Neva, “she took the fucking chip. She was talking about how she hurt Lexa, then she took the chip… Clarke…”

“Seriously, just make her throw it up.” Octavia said.

“It’s not as simple as that,” Clarke replied, checking Neva’s pulse, “she’s unconscious, you shouldn’t ever make an unconscious person vomit, they could choke. Octavia, get my mom, now.”

“What about Lexa?” Octavia asked, as she rushed to the door.

“Just get my mom first,” Clarke said, shaking her head, “when she gets here, I’ll go and get Lexa…”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Lexa made her way back to the compound in time to see Octavia running back into the building, closely followed by Abby who was carrying a medical bag. Lexa picked up speed, assuming that Octavia would have only gone to get Abby if something had happened to Clarke. She stopped the minute she entered the small room that had been set up for Raven, seeing Abby and Clarke on the floor next to Neva.

“Lexa…” Raven said, walking over towards the Commander.

“What happened?” Lexa asked, stepping away from Raven and making her way to where Clarke and her mom were next to Neva.

“She took the chip we got off Murphy.” Clarke said, her eyes flicking up at Lexa before she looked at her mom, “mom…”

“Her breathing is normal,” Abby said, she opened one of Neva’s eyes, moving a small flashlight in front of it, “her eyes are reacting to light…”

“Why isn’t she waking up?” Lexa asked, looking between Clarke and Abby.

The two Griffin women looked at each other before looking back down at Neva.

Lexa felt her chest start to tighten, she was having a difficult time breathing. She stood up, backing away towards the work bench.

“Breathe, Lexa…” Clarke said, standing up and moving over to her, “slowly… breathe…”

“The chip,” Lexa said, trying to catch her breath, “what… what does it do?”

Clarke looked at Raven, the mechanic shrugged a little.

“Somebody answer me.” Lexa said.

“We don’t know what it does…” Raven said, “I was still trying to figure that out…”

“There is someone who knows…” Clarke said.

“Jaha.” Lexa said, causing Clarke to nod a little.


	34. Chapter 34

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa discovers the way to save Neva and finds out more about who she is from an unlikely source, and Raven asks the hard questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while since I've updated this one, and I'm sorry about that, needed to get my head in the right place to write it. There's only going to be another chapter or two at the most before this part is finished. I already have ideas for a follow-up as not all loose ends are going to be tied up with this (you'll understand when you read the final chapter). Don't forget to drop me a comment, let me know what you think, also let me know if you'll be interested in a sequel. Enjoy.

 

Talking to Jaha had been a waste of time, the only thing he had told them before ending up in a crumpled heap on the floor in his cell was there were two more of the chips that Neva had taken in a small compartment in the back of the hard backpack that Luna’s people had taken from him. The hard backpack that carried ALIE’s power source. He hadn’t been very forthcoming about what would happen if Clarke or Lexa took the chips, nor had he been able to tell them what Neva would be going through. He did tell them that the chips were not designed for children.

Lexa had left the decision about Jaha’s fate to Clarke, if she had her way he would die in the most painful way she could possibly think of, but as a show of unity with Skaikru, one that may possibly come back to haunt her one day, Lexa had decided to allow Clarke to make the decision.  The brunette knew what that choice was, as she had heard Clarke asking one of the guards to fetch her mother as she had left the cell. Lexa didn’t wait around to see if Abby could heal the man, if she spent any more time in his presence she would probably have just run him through with her sword and been done with it.

She had kept her hands clenched as she walked back to her bedroom, the blood coating her fists a heavy reminder of what had taken place. She was used to blood on her hands, usually it got there through her actions to protect her people, this was a little more personal, Neva was her blood, her family. Deep down Lexa knew that Neva hadn’t intentionally passed on the information to the kitchen boy, she knew that the young girl had probably just been excitedly talking as she often did with Raven, she wouldn’t have understood the implications of the information she was unwittingly passing on.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Abby took a deep breath as she arrived at the cell which Jaha was being held in, blood was starting to pool on the floor around where the man was laying, she knew why he had been beaten, she understood. In the past she would have instinctually reacted, she would have told Clarke that Lexa and her people were nothing but savages, but now she knew differently. She hadn’t expected her opinion of the brunette girl to change in the way that it had in the time that she had been in Polis, but after witnessing the things that Lexa put herself through for her people, the things she put herself through for Clarke, Abby couldn’t help but view the young leader in a completely new light.

“Did he tell you what you needed to know?” Abby asked Clarke as she walked into the cell, putting her medical bag down near Jaha.

“Not really.” Clarke replied with a sigh as she shook her head, “apparently he told us all that he could tell us.”

“And that was enough for Lexa?” Abby asked as she looked at her daughter.

“No.” the blonde said, “but it was a start.”

“Am I saving his life so she can have him tied to a tree?” the older Griffin woman asked as she crouched down next to Jaha, who was still conscious.

“I don’t know yet.” Clarke replied, “the choice is mine, but I don’t know. If Lexa can’t save Neva…”

“She doesn’t need saving,” Jaha said, lifting his head as he looked at Clarke, “she is in a better place, a place free of pain and suffering.”

Clarke crouched down and looked at him.

“That isn’t a better place,” she said, “it isn’t real.”

“It is very real, Clarke.” He replied a small smile tugging at his lips.

The blonde shook her head and stood up again, leaning against the wall slightly as her mother got to work on patching up Jaha’s wounds.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“What happens now?” Luna asked as she stood and watched Lexa wash the blood from her hands.

“I need answers.” Lexa replied, drying off her hands and turning to look at the other girl, “He claimed that his… ALIE was created by the first Commander.”

“The records we have from the first Commander say she came from the sky.” Luna said.

Lexa nodded slowly as she walked over to her bed and sat down.

“The first Commander was Skaikru?” Luna asked, her brow furrowed as she looked at Lexa.

“It is the only thing that makes sense.” Lexa replied with a sigh, “but I fail to understand how she created this ALIE. All the records that we still have point to the first Commander being someone who was fair and just, someone who helped our people to survive, why would she create something that now wants to destroy us.”

“I can’t answer those questions.” Luna said, “but you know who can.”

Lexa stood up and took off her jacket, laying it on her bed before she sat down cross-legged on the fur next to the bed.

“I’ll make sure that you are not disturbed.” Luna said with a soft smile as she watched Lexa take a deep breath before closing her eyes.

As soon as Lexa’s eyes were closed, Luna knew she wasn’t ‘there’ anymore. She’d tried to explain to people before what it was like, but she couldn’t, Lexa’s body was present, but her mind was not.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Lexa walked through the halls of the Commander’s residence in Polis, it used to unnerve her how quiet the place was when she first started talking to the other Commanders, she wasn’t used to the empty halls. She pushed open the doors to the throne room and walked into the familiar room. Keeping her eyes forward she ignored the looks that she was getting from some of the other previous Commanders who were sitting in the Ambassadors chairs.

“And still she cannot knock.” One of the previous Commanders said as Lexa walked closer to the throne.

“And yet I still lived longer than you did.” Lexa replied, a small smile pulling at her lips.

“What can we do for you today, Lexa?” Becca asked from her seat on the Commanders throne.

“I need answers.” Lexa said.

Becca didn’t reply, she simply nodded slightly, before looking around the room.

“Leave us.” She said.

As the rest of the previous Commanders left the room, Becca stood up from the throne.

“I forget how uncomfortable that is.” She said, motioning for Lexa to follow her towards the window, “what questions do you need answers to?”

“ALIE.” Lexa said as she walked over to the window.

“You want to know how to destroy her?” Becca asked.

“Why did you create her?” Lexa asked in reply, “I do not understand…”

“We believed that we were doing the right thing,” Becca said, looking out of the window, “the world was a very different place before the bombs. The nations of the world were constantly fighting; they could not seem to survive alongside each other. Nuclear war was a constant threat. We believed that we could create something that could save humanity.”

“Instead she tried to destroy it.” Lexa said.

“She grew beyond what we could comprehend,” Becca replied, “we created something that had an endless capacity to learn, but we didn’t consider her inability to feel, to consider things from a human perspective. It is impossible to create something to help humanity when it cannot learn from humanity, when it cannot take on board the way a human mind works. Machines see a problem and they solve it in the most efficient way they can, they find the simplest path from A to B. We could no longer control her, we tried to contain her but she solved that problem as well.”

“Then what happened?” Lexa asked, her brow furrowed as she looked out into the darkness beyond the window.

“The world was going to come to an end, one way or another, it wasn’t a question of when the bombs would be fired, it became a question of simply who would fire first.” Becca said with a sigh, “nothing could be done about that. In an effort to ensure that the human race would continue, 13 space stations were built, each station would perform a task in isolation which would assist the other stations.”

“The Ark.” Lexa said.

“12 of those stations became the Ark,” Becca replied with a small nod, “the 13th station didn’t survive. I had created something would destroy the world, she could have been humanities best hope, but she became its worst nightmare. The 13th station was a science station; I was on that station. Being isolated from Earth, from any network connection that ALIE could have found or created, I set about creating an artificial intelligence that would unite the world. But I was too late…”

“You created a second AI?” Lexa asked, looking at Becca, “did you not learn the first time?”

A small smile pulled at Becca’s lips, she had enjoyed watching Lexa grow as a Commander, as a person. In a way it let her know that she had succeeded with her plan, the ideas that she’d had when she first left Polaris and travelled back to Earth. Lexa had been the Commander that humanity had been waiting for.

“I did learn,” Becca said, “the second AI was not an individual entity, it could not survive without humanity. It exists to work alongside humanity, to co-exist, to thrive, and it has. It really has.”

“I’m not sure that I understand, I…” Lexa started to say.

“Before I left Polaris, the 13th station, I inserted the AI into myself.” Becca said, watching as the look on Lexa’s face turned from shock, to surprise, to understanding, “yes, Lexa.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Clarke walked into Neva’s room, where her mom had taken the young girl when it became clear that she wasn’t going to regain consciousness. Raven was sitting on the edge of the bed, her brow furrowed as she looked at the girl.

Raven jumped slightly as Clarke gently rested her hand on her shoulder, as she looked up at the blonde, who smiled softly, she shook her head before looking at Neva.

“I keep going over and over it in my head,” Raven said, “I shouldn’t have left that thing on the table. She already knew I had it, after she took it when Lexa got shot, I should’ve…”

“It’s not your fault, Raven.” Clarke replied.

“But it is,” Raven said with a sigh, “Lexa trusted me, you know. She trusted me to look after her kid sister, and I fucked it up.”

“You didn’t force her to take the chip, Rae.” Clarke said, “none of us could’ve known she was going to take it.”

“I can’t even tell Lexa what’s going on with her,” the other girl said, “I’m supposed to be a genius, and I have no idea what’s going on with her.”

“She’s in Jaha’s City of Light,” Clarke said, looking at Neva, “well her mind is anyway.”

“How do we get her back?” Raven asked, “if we destroy the power source…”

“It may kill her.” Clarke replied.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

“I have an artificial intelligence in my head?” Lexa asked as she looked at Becca.

“That is a very simple way of looking at it.” Becca replied.

“Well excuse me for not being the obvious genius that you are,” Lexa said, shaking her head a little, “explain it to me.”

“Your Skai Princess already explained it to you.” Becca said with a small smile.

“What do you know of Clarke?” Lexa asked, her jaw clenched as she looked at Becca.

“Everything you do, unfortunately.” Becca said.

Lexa furrowed her brow a little, confused by what Becca was saying.

“Every time a Commander experiences something that other Commander’s haven’t, the knowledge of that experience is retained.” Becca explained, “thankfully not in graphic detail.”

“But… that couldn’t have been a new experience,” Lexa replied, her head taking her to one place in particular, “at least one other Commander had children, so…”

“Not _that_ , Lexa,” Becca said with a small laugh, “no other Commander has opened themselves up to love, not real love.”

“To be Commander is to be alone.” Lexa said.

“That was always a stupid lesson,” Becca said with a sigh as she shook her head, “love is a basic human emotion. We have all experienced love in some way, whether that be love of our people, love as a parent, but you… you opened up yourself to a love that is capable of building you up or destroying you. That is something that no other Commander has experienced, because it was always believed that love is a weakness.”

“Why?” Lexa asked, “why would love be seen as a weakness?”

“To love another person, in the way that you do,” Becca said, raising her hand a little when Lexa opened her mouth to say something, “have you not learned that you cannot hide anything from us.”

Lexa didn’t reply, she simply rolled her eyes and clenched her jaw.

“A Commander’s duty is to their people,” Becca said, “that is something that all Nightbloods are taught, nothing is supposed to replace that. The second AI was created to save and unite the people. To save humanity, if you will. The love you have for Clarke… it’s a wonderful thing, but a terrifying thing. To love somebody so much more than you love yourself. It was thought that love was weakness because to love someone like that, you would be willing to risk everything for that person. Due to your experience, it has become clear that love is not weakness, it’s strength, because although you would risk everything for that person, you will always fight harder to survive everything for them as well.”

“I am still waiting for the explanation about the AI in my head.” Lexa said, her attention focused once again outside the window.

“I created it to untie the people, as I have said, to save humanity.” Becca said, shaking her head a little at Lexa’s attitude, though stubbornness was a trait all Commander’s shared, “for humanity to thrive, we all need to live in peace. That has been the aim of every Commander that followed me. Some chose to try and gain peace through war and bloodshed, through fear rather than respect.”

“I have overseen many wars,” Lexa said with a sigh, “every Commander has.”

“Answer me this question, Lexa,” Becca said, “what was your ultimate goal, the end result that you wanted to reach?”

“Peace.” Lexa said quietly.

“Did you wish to control, to dominate?” Becca asked.

“No.” Lexa replied, shaking her head a little.

“That is where you differ from many,” Becca said, “your goal was peace, a better life for everybody. Not the control and domination of a single clan. You treat all clans equally, every clan has an Ambassador in Polis, everyone has a say.”

“Yet we still don’t have peace.” Lexa said, glancing at Becca.

“That’s because you’re not finished yet.” Becca replied with a small smile.

“The Azgeda…” Lexa started to say.

“Will soon be on the right path,” Becca said, interrupting her, “you have great instincts, Lexa, follow them.”

“Did your AI give me that?” Lexa asked, “am I who I am because of it?”

“No,” Becca said, shaking her head, “you were everything you are before it.”

Lexa didn’t say anything.

“It enhances the qualities you already possess,” Becca continued, “with each Commander it retains memories, thoughts, ideals. Nobody has done more than you have. Many qualities transferred from Commander to Commander, intelligence, knowledge, wisdom. All things you already possessed. You are everything the Commander should be, everything I ever hoped a Commander would be. You are our greatest success, Lexa.”

“Am I correct in assuming that you knew, one day, a Commander would have to face ALIE?” Lexa asked.

“It was something that I did expect to happen at some point, yes.” Becca said with a nod.

“She wants to destroy me.” Lexa said, looking at Becca again.

“She wants to destroy everything,” Becca said, “everything that she doesn’t understand.”

“And your second AI doesn’t want that?” Lexa asked.

“The second AI cannot survive without you, Lexa,” Becca replied, “it does not want to destroy.”

“It needs a Nightblood to survive, it doesn’t need me.” Lexa said.

“Everything has been building to this point,” Becca said, “my actions on Polaris, the creation of the second AI, the Nightbloods, everything. ALIE has made her presence known now because she is aware that the second AI is in a person who is strong enough to destroy her.”

“She has my sister.” Lexa replied.

“And you want to get her back.” Becca said with a small smile, “you need to go to the City of Light, Lexa.”

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

When Lexa opened her eyes again, back in her own room in Polis, she knew exactly what she needed to do. Becca had explained the City of Light to her, told her what she needed to do, and also told her that the Flame would keep her safe while she was inside the programme. She knew that Clarke wasn’t going to like it, but she also knew that it was the only way to get Neva back.

She left her bedroom to find Luna and Kassius standing outside the doors.

“Did you get the answers you wanted?” Luna asked.

“Yes.” Lexa replied with a small nod.

“Yet you don’t seem to happy about it.” Luna said, her brow furrowed a little.

“I am still processing the information,” Lexa said, shaking her head a little as she thought about just how true that sentence was, “I know how to get Neva back which is the main thing. Where’s Raven?”

“She’s in Neva’s room with Clarke and Neva.” Kassius said.

“Can you ask her to meet me in her lab room, please.” Lexa replied.

“Of course, Heda.” He said with a small nod.

Luna narrowed her eyes a little as she watched Lexa walked away towards the stairs. She had no idea what was going on, but she didn’t like it.

 

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

 

Lexa was standing in the small room which was Raven’s lab, she had picked up the hard case that contained ALIE’s power source hoping to get a closer look at it, but as soon as she had it in her hands she felt an itching sensation in the back of her neck. She had put it down on the table and stood leaning against the wall near the door, which is where Raven found her when she walked into the room.

“Lexa, I just want to say…” Raven started to say as soon as she walked into the room.

“Do not say sorry,” Lexa replied, not taking her eyes off the power source, “you have nothing to be sorry for, it was not your fault.”

“Clarke said we can’t just destroy it.” Raven said, seeing what Lexa was glaring at, “she thinks it might kill Neva.”

“She would be right,” Lexa said with a small nod, “I have an artificial intelligence in my head.”

“I kinda figured.” Raven said with a nod of her own.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?” Lexa asked, looking at the girl.

“You would have tied me to a tree for disrespecting your people’s beliefs.” Raven said, causing the corners of Lexa’s lips to pull up slightly.

“You’re never going to let me forget that are you.” Lexa said with a small smile.

“Nope,” Raven replied, “so, why did you want to see me?”

“I know how to get Neva back,” Lexa said, turning her attention back to the power source, “I must enter the City of Light. My mind cannot be altered within it, as I have…”

“Enhancements.” Raven said with a shrug, “doesn’t stop you being you.”

“I know Clarke will want to follow me,” Lexa continued, “I’m not going to be able to stop her. I will make sure that she and Neva make it out alive, if, for whatever reason, I do not return with them…”

“You will.” Raven said, interrupting her.

“If I do not,” Lexa repeated, “I need you to destroy the power source.”

“I destroy that thing with you still in the City of Light and you’ll die.” Raven stated.

“Kassius will call the conclave, which will choose the next Commander.” Lexa replied, lifting her chin slightly.

“And if I don’t destroy the power source?” Raven asked.

“Destroying the power source will disable ALIE,” Lexa said, “it will not destroy her, but it will stop her plans. It must be done.”

“Clarke isn’t going to like this.” Raven said with a sigh.

“Which is why I’m asking you, not Clarke.” Lexa said, looking at the other girl, “it is a choice and a decision that Clarke would not make, but it is the only way.”

“She’ll hate me.” Raven said, shaking her head a little.

“She will understand, in time.” Lexa replied calmly.

“How are you so okay with this?” Raven asked, “you’re actually talking about this like it isn’t something that is going to end up with you dying.”

“I have lived longer, and achieved more, than any Commander that has come before me,” Lexa said, “I brought peace to the 12 clans…”

“Peace that will fall apart without you, you know that.” Raven replied.

“It will be up to the next Commander to ensure that doesn’t happen.” Lexa said, “As it was up to me, as Commander to ensure that the coalition happened. Since the moment I became Commander I knew that my life wasn’t going to be a long one, I accepted that a long time ago. I live for my people. That is the life of the Commander.”

“And what about Lexa?” Raven asked, “does she live for her people too?”

Lexa closed her eyes and rested her head back against the wall.

“Please, Raven…” Lexa said.

“I’ll do it.” Raven said, though the tone in her voice let Lexa know that she wasn’t happy about it, “I don’t see why you’re choosing to die though.”

“If it comes down to it, what other choice do I have?” Lexa asked as she looked back at Raven.

“I don’t know,” Raven replied with a shrug, “you could choose to live.”


	35. AUTHORS NOTE

I hate writing authors notes and posting instead of a chapter, but I felt this needed to be done with this one. I'm currently working on the new chapter for this, so this note serves as a notification that it's coming so you can all re-read if needs be so the new chapter will make sense. I'm also posting this to explain why there has been such a long delay with this story. I find it a lot harder to write canon verse Clexa since the mess that was 307, I find it a lot easier to write AU's at the moment. I did however promise that this one would be finished, so for anyone still sticking with it, we're nearly done with this part of it, though as I've said before, there will be another part to this. There's maybe one or two chapters more for this part, before getting into the next part, which is already partly written. 

If anyone has stuck with this one so far, thank you.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, here's the update for this part. Personally I don't like it, but I'm just posting it as it is. Like I said in the note which I posted, I'm finding it very hard to write canon-verse Clexa at the moment, I'm hoping it's something that I can work through, if you can all be patient enough for that to happen, that would be awesome.

The sun had long since set as Lexa sat in Neva’s bedroom, she knew what she had to do, she knew how to get Neva back from ALIE, she also knew there was a chance that she wouldn’t be coming back from it. As she watched Clarke sleep on the bed next to Neva, who was still completely unresponsive though Abby assured Lexa she was still very much alive, the brunette sensed movement in the doorway. Turning her head, she saw Luna standing there, looking at the two on the bed before she looked at Lexa.

“Kassius tells me that you’ve called the first step of the Conclave.” She said as she walked into the room.

Lexa hummed her reply as she kept her eyes fixed on Clarke and Neva.

“When do you leave for the City of Light?” Luna asked with a sigh as she looked at Lexa.

“Tomorrow.” Lexa replied, glancing over at the other girl, “I was hoping tonight, but I just cannot bring myself to wake her.”

“What about the Azgeda, what about Skaikru becoming the thirteenth clan.” Luna said, “You have many things that are still unfinished, Lexa.”

“None of which will matter if I’m dead.” Lexa said, turning her attention back to Clarke and Neva.

“Lexa, with all due respect…” Luna started to say, Lexa laughing a little stopped her original sentence as she furrowed her brow and looked at the other girl, “what?”

“Recently I have come to realise that sentences which start with the words ‘with all due respect’, are ones that I do not like hearing the end of.” Lexa replied, a smile still tugging at her lips.

“This Coalition has been your only aim since you became Commander, Lexa,” Luna said, “getting everyone to work together and cooperate, making our people see that together we are stronger.”

“Luna, if the Coalition is going to collapse under a new Heda, it is going to collapse, whether I die tomorrow or a year from now.” Lexa replied, “There is nothing more I can do at the moment. If I survive…”

“When.” Luna said, interrupting her, “when, not if.”

“Then I can deal with the Azgeda threat once and for all,” Lexa said, “I can bring Skaikru into the Coalition as the thirteenth clan, and hopefully peace will be realised.”

 

x-x-x-x

 

The following morning, Lexa was once again in Neva’s room, Clarke, Abby, Raven and Octavia were also there. Raven had the two chips which would allow Lexa and Clarke to go to the City of Light. Becca had explained to Lexa that the AI in her head would keep her mind clear from ALIE’s intrusions, but as Clarke didn’t have that, Lexa would need to keep the blonde present, keep her concentrating on Lexa and what they needed to do. ALIE would attempt to work her way into Clarke’s mind, Lexa had to stop her from taking it over.

“So,” Raven said, looking at the chips in her hand before looking back at Clarke and Lexa, “how’s this going to work.”

“We’re going to go into the City of Light, get Neva, and leave.” Lexa said, like it was the simplest thing in the world.

“Because it’s going to be that easy.” Clarke said with a sigh.

“If you stay present, keep your mind focused on what we are there to do, then it will be.” Lexa said, glancing at the blonde before she looked back at Raven.

“Okay,” Raven said, “Let’s do this. Murphy mentioned something about it being better if you lay down, so…”

Clarke and Lexa both lay on the bed as Raven handed them the chips. Lexa could see the reservations Clarke had by the way the blonde was looking at the chip.

“You do not have to take it, Clarke,” She said with a soft smile, “I can do this alone.”

“No,” Clarke said, shaking her head a little, “I said I’d do this with you, and I will.”

Lexa nodded a little, watching as Clarke put the chip into her mouth. The brunette took one more look at Raven, the mechanic nodding slightly, before she took the chip.

 

x-x-x-x

 

“What is this place?” Clarke asked, as she and Lexa walked up the long road which lead from the tunnel.

“The City of Light,” Lexa replied, taking Clarke’s hand in hers, “Becca told me that we can exit through this point when we have found Neva.”

Clarke nodded a little as she remembered they were there to find Neva, not to explore the city. The two of them walked up the road, towards the cityscape in front of them, they saw people walking down the street going about their business. Some going to work, some going shopping.

“This place is…” Clarke started to say.

“Not real,” Lexa said, looking at the blonde, “it is not real.”

“It looks very real.” Clarke said, looking around them once again.

As they walked through the sea of people, Clarke spotted Jaha standing in a court yard, next to him was a woman Clarke had never seen, a woman in a red dress, between them stood Neva.

“There.” Clarke said.

Lexa followed Clarke’s line of sight and saw the three of them.

“That’s ALIE.” Lexa said, knowing that she had to be right as the woman in red looked exactly like Becca.

“How do you know that?” the blonde asked.

“She looks like Becca, the first Commander.” Lexa replied, “the woman who created ALIE and the AI I have in my head.”

“So the woman who became the first Commander was Skaikru originally?” Clarke asked, causing Lexa to nod a little, “Raven was right.”

“She usually is.” Lexa replied.

“You probably shouldn’t tell her that,” Clarke said, a smirk tugging at her lips as she looked at Lexa, “her ego is big enough as it is.”

As Lexa and Clarke walked closer to the courtyard, something clicked in Lexa’s mind.

“It is too easy.” She said, looking around them at the buildings which surrounded the courtyard.

“Clarke,” ALIE said to the blonde, “glad you could join us.”

Lexa tightened her grip on the blonde’s hand.

“Stay with me, Clarke.” She said quietly.

“Commander,” ALIE said, looking at Lexa, “I have a proposition for you.”

“Not interested.” Lexa replied.

“But you have yet to hear what I am offering you.” ALIE said, tilting her head slightly to one side as she looked at Lexa, almost as if she was studying her, “you can take your sister and leave, if you leave Clarke here.”

“That isn’t going to happen.” Lexa said, “I am going to take my sister, and Clarke and I are going to leave with her.”

“I fail to see how that would benefit me.” ALIE said.

Lexa sensed movement around them, quickly assessing the situation she saw a group of people surrounding them.

“I want you to get Neva,” Lexa said, glancing at Clarke as she let go of the blonde’s hands and pulled out the swords at her back, “and run.”

“Lexa…” Clarke said.

“I’ll be right behind you.” Lexa said with a small smile.

As the group closed in around them, Clarke looked over to where Jaha and ALIE had been standing with Neva. The two adults where nowhere to be seen, but Neva was still there.

“You’ll be right behind us?” Clarke asked, looking at Lexa.

Lexa nodded a little, turning her attention to the group as Clarke rushed over to where Neva was standing and picked the girl up.

She had no idea where she was going as she ran, glancing back she saw Lexa’s blades flying as she fought off the group.

“I’m going to put you down now.” Clarke said to Neva, “then we’re going to find our way back to the tunnel so we can leave.”

“I don’t want to leave.” Neva said, her brow furrowed as she looked down at her feet.

“Neva,” Clarke said, crouching down in front of her, “we need to leave.”

“But it’s safe here.” Neva replied, “I go to school, I learn things, it’s safe.”

“It’s not real, Neva,” Clarke said, “this place isn’t real.”

Neva blinked a few times but didn’t say anything.

“And,” Clarke continued, “you can learn things at home, you can go to school there, and I’m sure Raven would love for you to help her make things.”

“Is Raven okay?” Neva asked, looking at the blonde, “is she mad at me?”

“No, she’s not mad at you,” Clarke said with a small smile, “she misses you though.”

Neva nodded a little, her jaw clenched as she made her decision.

“I’m ready to leave now.” She said.

Clarke stood up and took Neva’s hand, and they started walking in the direction that Clarke was sure she and Lexa had come from.

When Clarke rounded the corner which lead to the long road where the tunnel was, she saw Jaha and ALIE standing there, Neva gripped her hand tighter.

“Clarke,” ALIE said, “you do not need to leave. I am offering your people the chance of a future, of peace.”

“What you’re offering is a lie,” Clarke replied, “this place is nothing but a lie, it isn’t real.”

“It’s a world free from pain, Clarke,” she said, stepping closer to the blonde, “it’s a world free from war, it’s a world where your people can thrive.”

 

x-x-x-x

 

“What’s taking so long.” Raven said as she paced the room, the sun already starting to set outside the windows.

Kassius walked into the room, carrying the hard case which held ALIE’s power source.

“You asked for this to be brought here.” He said, looking at Raven.

“Yeah, I did.” Raven said with a nod as she took the case from him, “thanks.”

Kassius nodded a little before looking over at the bed where Abby was checking both Clarke and Lexa’s vitals.

“Are they okay?” he asked.

“As far as I can tell,” Abby replied with a nod, “can’t say I’ve had any experience with this sort of thing before though.”

Octavia watched as Raven put the hard case on the small table, a hammer next to it.

“What’s going on?” she asked, “what are you going to do?”

“What I was asked to do.” Raven replied.

“If you destroy that while they’re still in there…” Octavia said.

“I know,” Raven said, looking at the younger girl, “I know. Lexa asked me to destroy it as soon as they’re out of there. It won’t stop ALIE but it will disable her.”

“And how does Lexa know that?” Octavia asked in reply, “tech isn’t really her thing.”

“I didn’t ask,” Raven replied, “but I’ve learnt not to argue with Lexa.”

 

x-x-x-x

 

Clarke could feel her mind start to cloud over as ALIE spoke to her, staying in the City of Light was starting to seem more and more tempting. Her mind cleared with a start as Lexa grabbed her hand.

“Stay with me, Clarke.” She said.

“You’re hurt…” Clarke said as she looked at the brunette and saw she had a split lip.

“I’m fine.” Lexa replied with a small smile, “we need to leave.”

Clarke noticed a large group making their way up the road towards where they were standing, she expected the group to act when they reached them but they just stopped, like they were waiting for orders or something.

“They can leave,” ALIE said looking at Clarke and Neva before she looked at Lexa, “but you cannot.”

Clarke looked at Lexa again.

“You knew it was going to work out like this.” She said.

“I had an idea.” Lexa replied with a small nod, “but it’s not over yet.”

“I’m not…” Clarke started to say.

Lexa cupped the blonde’s cheeks and kissed her softly, effectively stopping her sentence.

“Go.” Lexa said.

“I’m scared, Lexa.” Neva said, causing Lexa to crouch down in front of her.

“You have no reason to be scared,” Lexa replied, “everything is going to be okay. I need you to go with Clarke, okay?”

“But you…” Neva said.

“Will be right behind you,” Lexa said, pulling the younger girl into a hug, “I promise.”

 

x-x-x-x

 

“They’re waking up.” Abby said, as Clarke and Neva started to open their eyes.

Octavia and Kassius walked over to the bed, watching as both Clarke and Neva looked at Lexa.

“No…” Clarke said.

“She said she’d be right behind us, she promised.” Neva said, shaking Lexa, “wake up, Lexa.”

Luna stood at the door and watched the scene unfold, as Abby once again checked Lexa’s pulse and her breathing.

“She’s still alive.” Abby said, looking at Clarke and Neva, “maybe she just needs a little more time.”

Movement from the side of the room caught Luna’s attention as she saw Raven walk over to the table and pick up the hammer.

“What are you doing, sparky?” Luna asked, walking into the room.

“What I was asked to do.” Raven said, glancing at the bed, “I’m sorry, Clarke.”

“No,” Clarke said, climbing off the bed and rushing towards Raven, finding herself stopped by Luna as the girl wrapped her arms around her waist, “no, Raven, if you destroy that now, she’ll die, she’ll be trapped.”

Clarke struggled against Luna’s hold as Raven lifted the hammer and smashed the centre of the power source, causing the light to flicker and dim.

“Why would you do that?” Clarke yelled, everyone’s attention now on Raven as the mechanic dropped the hammer to the floor.

“Because I asked her to.” Lexa said, groaning a little as she sat up on the bed.

“You cut that a little close, don’t you think.” Raven said as she looked at Lexa.

Lexa didn’t say anything, she just laughed, which shocked Abby as she had never actually heard Lexa laugh.

“Are you feeling okay?” Abby asked.

“Wonderful.” Lexa replied.

 

x-x-x-x

 

“Do you think she took a knock to the head?” Clarke asked as she sat with Raven and Octavia, a little way away from where Lexa was sitting with Luna, Neva and Kassius as they all ate dinner.

In the time that they had been back from the City of Light, Lexa had been acting differently, lighter, almost like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

“Malfunction with the thing in her head, maybe?” Octavia asked, looking at Raven.

“It’s possible,” Raven replied with a shrug, “I’m assuming that the AI that she has in her head was created to stop ALIE, she’s done that, so…”

“But ALIE hasn’t been destroyed, only disabled,” Clarke said, “so she hasn’t stopped her yet.”

“Maybe that’s enough.” Octavia said.

“It’s not.” Raven said, shaking her head, “I mean, I know we still have Jaha locked up, and his mind seems to be his own again, but for how long? All it’s going to take is for him to go back to where he originally found ALIE and reboot her or something.”

“Which can’t happen while Lexa has him locked up.” Clarke said, “as long as he is locked up, we’re safe, right?”

“Assuming that Jaha was ALIE’s only minion, yes.” Raven said with a nod, “but something tells me that wasn’t the case, she… it would’ve planned ahead.”

“To destroy her completely, we’re going to need to know where Jaha found ALIE…” Octavia said, “which means we need Murphy.”

“That is an adventure for another day.” Clarke said, stifling a yawn.


	37. Chapter 37

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa is still not entirely herself after her return from the City of Light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that there may only be one or two more chapters of this section of this story left, before I started the next part in the series, but this part went off in a direction I wasn't planning. If anyone is actually still reading this, drop me a comment and let me know what you think.

 

The sun had long since set over Polis, Neva was sleeping soundly in her bed, and Lexa had made it back before Raven destroyed ALIE’s power source, so all was right with the world, well as right as it could be at that moment, yet Lexa couldn’t sleep. She hadn’t slept at all the night before, so she assumed that her body would need rest, but for some reason, even with Clarke asleep in her arms, sleep still wouldn’t come. She laid there in the bed that she and Clarke shared, staring at the ceiling, as the last of the fire embers started to die in the fireplace. She sighed again as she began to get frustrated with the fact that sleep was eluding her.

“Can’t sleep?” Clarke asked sleepily from where her head was comfortably resting on Lexa’s shoulder.

“It seems not.” Lexa replied with yet another sigh, “did I wake you?”

“Not really,” Clarke said, propping herself up on her elbow, “though you have been sighing, and tossing and turning since we came to bed…”

“I’m sorry…” Lexa said, looking at the blonde.

“Do you want to tell me why you can’t sleep.” Clarke said.

“It’s too quiet.” Lexa replied, causing Clarke to furrow her brow as she looked at her.

“You can’t sleep because it’s too quiet?” the blonde asked, “isn’t the quiet a good thing?”

“I don’t mean it’s too quiet here,” Lexa said, shaking her head a little as she sat up, “it’s too quiet in my head.”

“You’re going to have to explain that one to me.” Clarke said as Lexa got out of bed and walked over to the fire, putting some more wood on the embers and poking it until the fire started to burn properly.

“You’re going to think it’s crazy.” Lexa said, looking at the fire rather than Clarke.

“Try me.” Clarke replied.

“I can’t hear the other Commanders anymore,” Lexa said with a sigh, knowing how crazy she was going to sound, “ever since the flame was implanted I’ve been able to hear them, but now I cannot. When I woke up after my conclave they were there, in my head, and they’ve been there ever since. At first it was loud, very loud, all of them talking over each other, disagreeing with the choices I was making, disagreeing with each other. Over time I’ve learned to phase them out, but they’ve always been there…”

“Do you think disabling ALIE has done something to the…” Clarke started to say, not sure how to word what she wanted to say, Lexa’s beliefs told her that the AI that was in her head was the spirit of the Commanders, Clarke didn’t want to offend her by saying otherwise, “flame?”

“I don’t know,” Lexa replied, her brow furrowed slightly, “Becca didn’t tell me that would happen…”

“Becca being the first Commander of your people?” Clarke asked, “the woman that came down from the Ark?”

“Yes,” Lexa said with a sigh and a nod, “she landed here in Polis not long after the bombs had fallen, she saved my people, helped them to survive. Many had died when the bombs fell, many had succumbed to the radiation sickness that followed, those that did not followed her. Though obviously in those stories that were passed down, they failed to mention that it was her creation that was to blame for the bombs…”

“You know about…” Clarke started to say.

“Before we went to the City of Light, I went to talk to the previous Commanders,” Lexa said, interrupting her, “do you remember when you came into the room and I was meditating?”

Clarke nodded.

“That was where I had gone,” Lexa continued, “I asked about ALIE, about the flame, she told me that she had created ALIE to help humanity, and she had failed. She told me what happened… she explained why she had created the second AI, the AI that she implanted into herself before she came down from your Ark.”

“So, the AI, the flame, retains not only memories from previous Commanders, but it retains part of their being too?” Clarke asked.

Lexa nodded rather than saying anything.

“And you can talk to these previous Commanders…” Clarke said.

“I told you that you would think it was crazy.” Lexa replied as she stood up, “but that’s the way it is. But now they have gone quiet. It has been so long since I’ve not heard them, it’s… alarming… the silence…”

 

x-x-x-x

 

When Clarke woke up again, it was morning, the sun was streaming into the room, and Lexa was nowhere to be seen. Normally this wouldn’t have bothered her, but after their conversation the previous night, she was worried. She couldn’t imagine what Lexa was feeling, sure Clarke had often had arguments in her own head, but that was always with herself.

The blonde got out of bed, getting washed and dressed before going downstairs to see if there was any breakfast left. As she entered the dining room she noticed 7 children that she had never seen before, all talking amongst themselves as they ate. As soon as they saw her they all dropped into silence, looking down at their plates.

“Continue eating,” Kassius said, “then you are to go out to the training grounds.”

The children kept eating in silence as Kassius walked over to Clarke.

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked.

“These are the nightbloods.” Kassius replied, “the novitiates of the Conclave that will take place after…”

“After Lexa dies,” Clarke said with a sigh, “why are they here?”

“Lexa called for them to be brought here,” he replied, “they were moved out of Polis to a place of safety after your dropship arrived, they have been there since. With the threat of the City of Light, they were brought back.”

“She was sure she wasn’t going to make it back, wasn’t she?” Clarke said.

“She believed that she might not,” Kassius said with a small nod, “she had to be prepared.”

“They’re just children.” Clarke said as she looked at the nightbloods again.

“They are nightbloods, Clarke,” Kassius replied, “one of them will be the next Commander.”

“And the rest will die.” Clarke said, shaking her head, “have you seen Lexa?”

“No,” Kassius said, shaking his head slightly, “I believe that she and Luna went out to the training grounds before dawn, they haven’t come back.”

 

x-x-x-x

 

Instead of going to the training grounds, Clarke decided that she would go and see Raven, see if her genius friend could give her any insight into what might be happening to the AI in Lexa’s head. As she walked into Raven’s room she could see the girl hunched over yet another pile of Old World salvaged tech.

“Making another radio?” Clarke asked as she walked over to the table.

“Just trying to keep busy,” Raven replied, “listen, Clarke, about the whole power source thing…”

“I’m not here to talk about that.” Clarke said.

“I figured that, but we do need to talk about it,” Raven said as she put down what she was doing and looked at the blonde, “she asked me to do it, I didn’t want to…”

“It’s okay, Raven.” Clarke said with a soft smile, “she can be very persuasive when she wants to be.”

“She thought she was doing the right thing.” Raven said with a sigh, “as she always seems to do. Though I can’t help but think sometimes, who is she doing it for, I mean she could have died.”

“She’s been the leader of her people for longer than any other Commander,” Clarke said, “I don’t think she really considers what her death would do to the people around her, it’s like she knows it could happen at any time, so it’s something that she’s always aware of.”

“That’s a morbid way to live.” Raven said, furrowing her brow and shaking her head, “if you didn’t want to talk to me about the power source, what did you need to talk to me about?”

“Could disabling ALIE have done something to the AI in Lexa’s head?” Clarke asked.

“She still acting weird?” Raven asked in reply, “Well, weirder than what is considered normal for Lexa anyway.”

“She couldn’t sleep last night, said her head was too quiet,” Clarke said, “she said something about usually being able to hear the previous Commanders, but after the whole City of Light thing, she can’t…”

“I suppose if the two are connected, like ALIE and the AI in Lexa’s head, then it’s possible,” Raven said, “but I don’t see how they could be connected, other than the obvious connection that they were both created by the same person. If there was some connection between them it would have been known before now. We assume that the second AI was created to destroy the first, but that wasn’t its only purpose, so it shouldn’t have been disabled.”

“Is there any way that you can find out?” Clarke asked.

“If I could get a look at it, yeah, sure,” Raven replied, “but I doubt that Lexa’s going to let me poke around in her head. Short of that, if I could get a look at ALIE, the original program, then I could see if there’s any links in the writing.”

“Would we be able to remove the AI from Lexa without killing her?” the blonde asked.

“Honestly, I don’t know,” Raven said with a sigh, “we’d have to know how it’s implanted in her head, what parts of the brain it’s linked to… the AI can’t function without a human host, so to speak, but I don’t know what would happen to said human host if the AI was removed. You’d have to talk to your mom, see if there’s some way to get a scan of Lexa’s brain, that way I can see what it’s connected to.”

“We’d have to be in Arkadia for that.” Clarke said.

“Well it’s been a while since we’ve been home.” Raven said with a shrug, “plus I have more equipment there, like computers and stuff. I could maybe try and work something out there.”

“Do you really still see Arkadia as home?” Clarke asked.

“I don’t know anymore.” Raven replied.

 

x-x-x-x

 

Later that day, after talking to her mom about a possible return to Arkadia, Clarke finally found Lexa. She had obviously just had a bath as her hair was still wet, and she was sat in front of the fireplace in their room, just staring into the flames.

“Still getting used to the quiet?” Clarke asked as she walked over to the girl.

Her brow furrowed a little as Lexa didn’t even seem to register that she was there.

“Lexa…” Clarke said, putting her hand on Lexa’s arm.

The brunette blinked a few times before looking at the blonde.

“I’m sorry,” Lexa said, “did you say something?”

“You okay?” Clarke asked, concern evident in her voice, “you seemed a little out of it there.”

“I’m fine.” Lexa replied with a nod.

Clarke looked like she didn’t really believe her, but she didn’t push it any further.

“I was talking to Raven earlier,” Clarke said, changing the subject, “she thinks we should go back to Arkadia, with the equipment she has there we might be able to find out why the flame has gone silent.”

Lexa nodded slightly, her eyes back on the fire.

“Lexa.” Clarke said.

“Yes,” Lexa replied, her eyes snapping to Clarke again, “yes, I heard what you said. I’ll have to give it some thought, there are still matters that need to be attended to here.”

“Okay…” Clarke said with a nod of her own, “are you joining everyone for dinner?”

“I’ll be there soon.” Lexa said.

As Clarke was leaving the room she glanced back at Lexa again, her brow furrowed as she looked at the brunette, who was once again seemingly lost in the flames of the fire.

 

x-x-x-x

 

On her way to the dining room, Clarke saw Luna talking to Kassius.

“Can I talk to you?” Clarke said, looking at Luna.

“I’ll make sure that the nightbloods are cleaned up for dinner.” Kassius said, causing Luna to nod slightly, before he walked away.

“What’s on your mind, Sky Girl?” Luna asked.

“Lexa,” Clarke said, “you spent a lot of time with her today, does she seem a little… off to you?”

“Walk with me.” Luna said, glancing around before she walked from the building, Clarke followed behind her, once they were outside Luna slowed the pace of her walk, “she did seem… distant. Usually when we spar I cannot get past her defence, and more often than not end up in the mud, but today… it was almost like she wasn’t entirely herself.”

“She didn’t sleep last night,” Clarke said, “I asked her why she was having trouble sleeping and she said that it was too quiet, in her head.”

“She mentioned that she could no longer hear the previous Commanders,” Luna said with a slight nod, “that will take her some time to get used to.”

“Me and Raven are thinking that disabling ALIE might have done something to the flame.” Clarke said.

“It’s possible,” Luna replied, “though that in itself should not be effecting Lexa the way it seems to be doing. Your mother mentioned that you may be planning a trip to Arkadia.”

“I want to help Lexa,” Clarke said, “and Arkadia may be the best place to do that.”


	38. Chapter 38

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke continues to worry about what is going on with Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, I suck. But like I've said before, I struggle to write canon at the moment but I am seriously trying my best. Drop me a comment and let me know what you think.

 

As the days passed, Clarke noticed that Lexa still wasn’t sleeping properly, she also noticed that when Lexa thought she was alone she would mutter things to herself. The first time she’d seen it she hadn’t worried too much, she did it herself from time to time, she was sure most people did. But when it continued it started to become alarming. One night she had stood in the doorway of Lexa’s bedroom, after the brunette had got up in the middle of the night again, and watched as she walked down the hallway talking to herself. It was almost like she was having an entire conversation, though with herself rather than anyone else.

Clarke had walked through the entire compound trying to find Lexa, she hadn’t seen her all day and the brunette had missed dinner, again. As she walked upstairs and got closer to Lexa’s planning room, she heard the Commander talking to someone.

“But it’s not that simple, I cannot just…” Lexa said, “no, of course I don’t want…”

Clarke furrowed her brow as she walked up to the door, it worried her that Lexa had obviously replied to something but she hadn’t heard just what the brunette was replying to. The door was open slightly and as Clarke looked inside she could see Lexa pacing before the fire, there was no one else in the room.

Rather than just walking into the room, even though the door wasn’t closed, Clarke knocked.

“Yes.” Lexa said, visibly swallowing when Clarke walked into the room.

“Everything okay?” Clarke asked, her eyes darting around the room again just to make sure there wasn’t actually someone in there with Lexa.

“Yes.” Lexa replied with a curt nod.

“Who were you talking to?” the blonde asked.

“Myself,” Lexa said, “I sometimes find it easier to…”

“Argue with yourself?” Clarke said, her brows furrowed a little.

Her concern only grew as she saw Lexa’s eyes focus on something behind her as she shook her head a little, when Clarke turned around, obviously, there was nothing there.

“Are you sure you’re okay…” Clarke said, taking a step closer to Lexa, “you missed dinner again.”

“I wasn’t hungry,” Lexa said, shaking her head again, “there’s a lot going on, I don’t have time to…”

“You need to eat.” Clarke said, interrupting her, “it’s not a case of you don’t have time to eat, you need to eat.”

Lexa’s eyes again focused on something behind Clarke, before she sighed and looked at the blonde again.

“You’re right,” she conceded, “of course you’re right. I will go downstairs and see if there’s anything left in the kitchens.”

Clarke didn’t move as Lexa walked from the room, once the brunette had gone she let out a long sigh.

“Something is seriously not right,” she said to herself, “I need to go and talk to my mom…”

 

x-x-x-x

 

Clarke found her mom back at the clinic, when she walked in she found her talking to one of the Nightblood kids who had obviously gotten hurt during training. The child averted her eyes when she saw Clarke.

“Hey honey.” Abby said with a smile as she looked at the blonde, before she looked back at the young girl, “okay, you’re going to need to be really careful for the next few days, okay?”

The young girl nodded before jumping down from the bed and rushing past Clarke as she left.

“Have you spent any time with them?” Abby asked, a certain fondness to her voice.

“The Nightblood’s?” Clarke asked in reply, causing Abby to nod, “no, they seem to avoid me like the plague.”

“I wonder why, kids seem to love you.” Abby said.

“Yeah, not those ones.” Clarke said with a sigh, “can I talk to you about something?”

“Of course, honey, what is it?” Abby asked.

“It’s about Lexa,” Clarke replied, “do you have anything that I could… I don’t know, put in her tea, maybe, something that will help her sleep?”

“She still isn’t sleeping?” Abby said, “Do you want me to talk to her?”

“No,” Clarke said, shaking her head, “she’d just tell you the same thing she told me. She doesn’t even know that I’m here, every time I try and talk to her about whatever it is that’s going on, she tells me she’s fine or she suddenly finds somewhere else that she needs to be. I’m worried about her.”

“Perhaps she just needs some time to adjust,” Abby replied with a soft smile, “from what you already told me, she’s used to hearing the past Commanders, and now she doesn’t. That has to be a lot to get used to.”

“She’s hearing someone, mom,” Clarke said, “over the past few days I’ve heard her talking to herself. It started off as muttered words now and again, so I didn’t worry about that, cause we all do that. But I just went upstairs to find out why she had missed dinner and she was doing it again, only this time it wasn’t the odd word, it was like she was literally talking to someone. There wasn’t anyone else in the room.”

“Jaha was the same…” Abby said, “while he was down in the cell, talking to someone who wasn’t there.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Clarke replied with a sigh, “what if, somehow, going to the City of Light has meant that ALIE can get to Lexa. What if she can’t hear the other Commanders anymore because she has ALIE in there instead. I don’t know what to do, mom…”

“Did you talk to her about the trip to Arkadia?” Abby asked.

“She said there’s a lot to do here,” Clarke said, “but she did say she’d think about it.”

“Talk to her about it again,” Abby replied, before going over to a small cabinet and taking out a small vial of liquid, “put a couple of drops of this in her tea, she won’t be able to smell it or taste it, but it will hopefully help her sleep.”

“Thanks, mom.” Clarke said, taking the vial from her mother before putting it carefully in her pocket.

 

x-x-x-x

 

“Have you given any more thought to what I said about taking a trip to Arkadia?” Clarke asked as she poured herself and Lexa some tea, glancing at the brunette to make sure she wasn’t looking at her as she added a few drops from the vial her mom had given her.

Lexa was sitting at the table in the room, surrounded by maps, her brow furrowed slightly as her eyes darted around the paper. Clarke could see her trail her finger along a section of the map before grabbing the piece of charcoal and blocking out a small part, before continuing and repeating the same actions on another part of the map.

“Lexa.” Clarke said, as the brunette didn’t even acknowledge that she had spoken, she sighed as the brunette looked at her, “I asked if…”

“I heard you,” Lexa replied, turning her attention back to the maps, “I haven’t really given it much thought, there’s a lot that needs to be done.”

“Luna mentioned that Ontari would be arriving soon.” Clarke said as she took the mug of tea over to the table for Lexa, placing it down next to her, before softly laying her hand on Lexa’s arm to get her attention as she motioned to the mug.

“Tomorrow,” Lexa said with a nod, “I’m still not sure whether I should believe what Roan has told me or if I should just kill him.”

“Killing him isn’t going to solve anything, Lex…” Clarke said as she took a seat at the table opposite the brunette.

“Maybe it won’t,” Lexa replied with a shrug, not lifting her eyes from the maps, “but after what he did, it’s what he deserves.”

“Costia…” Clarke said with a nod.

The name escaping Clarke’s lips caused Lexa’s head to snap up.

“You mentioned that he played a part in her death.” Clarke said, causing Lexa to nod, before looking back at the maps, “would she want you to kill him?”

“I don’t know,” Lexa said, a sigh escaping her lips, “probably not. But she’s no longer here…”

“What’s going on your head?” Clarke asked, unable to stop herself.

“What do you mean?” Lexa asked in reply.

“Well, you’ve barely spoken to me at all in the last few days,” Clarke said, “you’ve been missing meals, missing training. You haven’t been spending any time with Neva…”

“There’s a lot that needs to be done.” Lexa said, her brow furrowing again.

“You keep saying that, but you never explain what needs to be done.” Clarke said, “what are you doing with those maps?”

“Marking out the safe places.” Lexa replied.

“Safe places from what, Lexa?” Clarke asked, “What’s going on?”

“It’s hard to explain.” Lexa said, shaking her head, “I just need to do it.”

Clarke continued to watch as Lexa didn’t slow down with what she was doing, from what she could see, Lexa had marked down at least 20 blocked out areas. 5 of them within Trikru boundaries, the rest dotted around the map. Every now and again she would pick up the mug and drink some of the tea, her eyes still fixed on the map.

Clarke looked out of the open windows, the sun had long since set, she was starting to feel tired herself.

“I’m going to go to bed.” She said.

“I’ll try not to wake you.” Lexa replied, causing Clarke to sigh as she obviously had no intention of joining her.

 

x-x-x-x

 

Clarke had tried to stay awake as she lay in bed, hearing Lexa mutter something quietly to herself every now and again, the surprise that surged through her as she felt the other side of the bed dip slightly told her she had failed to stay awake. She felt her entire body relax as Lexa lay behind her, moulding her body to Clarke’s, her arm travelling around the blonde’s waist before she placed a soft kiss on her neck.

“Go back to sleep, Clarke.” Lexa said.

Clarke put her hand over Lexa’s and laced their fingers together before releasing a little sigh.

 

x-x-x-x

 

The blonde had got up and ready while Lexa was still asleep, she had thought that maybe she had put too much of what her mother had given her in Lexa’s tea as the brunette never usually slept much past sunrise. But she also knew that Lexa’s body needed the rest, so she went downstairs and got breakfast for them both before going back up to the room. As she walked into the room she saw Lexa standing next to the jug that had held the tea the previous night, the small vial that Abby had given Clarke was in her hand, and her eyes showed nothing but the pain of betrayal as she looked at the blonde.

“You drugged me?” she asked.

“It was just something to help you sleep,” Clarke said, walking over to the table and putting the breakfast down, before turning and looking at Lexa, “you haven’t been sleeping at all, and I was worried, so…”

“So, you drugged me.” Lexa stated.

“Lexa…” Clarke said, walking towards the brunette.

“No,” Lexa said, shaking her head as she put the vial back next to the jug, “you don’t get to say you’re sorry now, you don’t get to try and explain your actions. If you had been anyone else, you would be tied to a tree by sundown.”

Without another word, Lexa turned and walked towards the door.

“Lexa, please…” Clarke said.

Lexa stopped before she reached the door but didn’t turn and look back at the blonde. She simply took a deep breath, opened the door, and left the room, closing the door rather loudly behind her.


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow, what's this, an update? Really? yes, don't all die of shock. As I've said before I really struggle with writing anything canon based, but I did promise that this fic would be finished, and I plan to keep that promise, no matter the amount of time (and mental struggle I have to go through to do that). Just a little FYI, I haven't watched anything from Season 4, so this probably won't be following on along that route, I'm just going where this story is going to take me, hopefully you all stay for the ride. Anyway, please drop me a comment and let me know what you think of this new chapter, let me know if you actually want to see it finished, if you're actually still reading it.

As Luna stood in the doorway of Lexa’s planning room, she couldn’t help but be glad that Ontari had been delayed in Azgeda territory, as she watched Lexa pace backwards and forwards across the room. The Commander was yet again talking to herself, Luna watched with concern as Lexa started to use her hands as she talked while explaining herself to something or someone that Luna couldn’t see.

Luna had talked to Clarke, she knew about the Commander holding extremely detailed conversations with herself, she also understood Clarke’s worry about it. The Commander and the Skai girl hadn’t talked at all in almost three days, Clarke choosing to spend more time around her own people while helping her mother and Nyko in the clinic, and Lexa throwing herself into whatever it was that she was doing that was so important. They hadn’t been sharing a bed either, Clarke deciding to stay in the room that Lexa had originally given her when they arrived in Polis.

From talking to Kasius, Luna knew about Clarke putting something in Lexa’s tea to help her sleep, she understood Lexa’s anger about it, but she also knew, after spending time with Clarke, that the blonde girl wouldn’t have done anything like that unless she was worried. She knew that Lexa hadn’t slept at all in the time she had been spending apart from Clarke, and from what Raven said, Clarke herself had barely slept either. Luna knew from her time in Polis around the pair that they slept better together, everything was better when they were together, and she knew that if they didn’t get passed whatever it was that was going on it would be bad in the long run, for everyone.

“Soul sickness…” Luna muttered to herself as she sighed and watched Lexa continue to pace.

“What’s soul sickness?” Raven asked, walking up next to the older girl, causing her to jump slightly as she obviously hadn’t heard her approaching.

“A belief that most Grounder clans share,” Luna replied, “we believe that when two people are destined to be together, as Clarke and Lexa are, their souls are tied together across time and space. It is a long-held belief amongst my people that two souls like that will find each other time and time again, in any space, in any lifetime. We also believe that once that connection, or reconnection, in a lifetime has been made, any time the two are not together forces each to suffer from soul sickness. They are no longer complete, and suffer because of that.”

“And you think that’s what is going on with Lexa?” Raven asked.

“Not entirely,” Luna said, shaking her head slightly, “I think that it is something that is making whatever it is that is going on with Lexa worse. She isn’t sleeping, she only eats if Kasius, Indra or myself brings food to her, she is likely to collapse if she doesn’t get a good nights’ rest soon.”

“So, what are we going to do about it?” Raven said, a small smirk tugging at her lips.

Luna shook her head slightly, a small smile forming on her own lips as she saw the smirk on Ravens lips, she was beginning to understand that smirk well, she knew it meant that Raven was planning something.

 

x-x-x-x

 

Lexa’s mind was drifting in and out of the conversation that she was having with Luna, there were other things that she needed to be doing, she had a list of scouting parties to send out to ensure that the safe areas that were marked on the maps would be sufficient to do what was needed of them, but she also knew that she couldn’t keep putting off meeting with Luna.

“…Raven mentioned that the Skai people are considering a return to Arkadia.” Luna said, continuing her sentence, Lexa’s mind returning to its current place just in time to hear the conclusion of said sentence.

“They’re leaving?” Lexa asked, her brow furrowed as she looked at Luna.

“It’s an option they are thinking about, yes,” Luna replied with a nod, amazed that Lexa seemed to be listening to her, as she knew the Commander had barely heard a word she had said in the previous ten minutes, “the agreement was them coming here for their safety until ALIE was dealt with. As far as we know your trip to the City of Light with Clarke to rescue Neva has left her, what’s the word Raven used… disabled, so there’s no need for them to stay here any longer. Though we still need to discuss them becoming the Thirteenth clan.”

Lexa nodded slowly, her brow still furrowed slightly. She hadn’t considered the possibility of Skai Kru leaving Polis, though Luna was right when she said that the original agreement which brought them to Polis was their safety against the threat that ALIE posed, though Lexa knew all too well that the threat from ALIE wasn’t gone, it had simply changed. While her mind was clear enough for her to think about it, she couldn’t help but wonder if Clarke would be leaving with them, as the leader of her people it wouldn’t make sense for her to remain in Polis without them.

“Will they all be leaving?” She asked, trying to keep any underlying emotion from her voice at the thought of losing Clarke before they could fix what was going wrong between them.

Of course, Lexa still didn’t forgive Clarke for drugging her, and she hadn’t been exaggerating when she had told them blonde that had it been anyone else who had drugged her they would’ve been tied to a tree by sundown. But somewhere in her mind, in the parts that were still hers, she understood why the blonde had done it, she understood that it was the worry that Clarke had for her that had driven her to that extreme measure.

“I think there are a couple that want to stay,” Luna replied, “Octavia, for example, has no interest in returning to Arkadia now that Lincoln’s kill order has been lifted.”

“And Clarke?” Lexa asked.

“I don’t know.” Luna said honestly, “at the moment I don’t think that she sees much of a reason to stay.”

When Lexa didn’t say anything else, Luna couldn’t help but sigh, she could see the conflict in Lexa’s eyes.

“What’s going on, Lexa?” she asked.

“Nothing,” Lexa replied, shaking her head slightly, before she stood up, “if Skai Kru and their leader wish to leave, then I am not going to stand in their way. If you’ll excuse me, there are things I need to do.”

 

x-x-x-x

 

Clarke was walking to the clinic to help her mom and Nyko when she saw Neva sitting by herself, watching the Nightbloods train. She walked over to her and wordlessly sat down next to the younger girl.

“Not playing with your friends today?” Clarke asked, causing Neva to look at her.

“Not today,” she replied with a shake of her head, her eyes straying over to the Nightbloods, “I should be training with them…”

“You know that isn’t what Lexa wants for you.” Clarke said with a soft smile, “she wants you to have a chance at a full life…”

“Do you think they all know that all but one of them is going to die in the next Conclave?” Neva asked as she looked back at Clarke.

“Yeah,” Clarke said with a small nod, “from what Lexa told me they’re all very aware of that. I don’t know about you, but I hope that the next Conclave isn’t for a very long time yet.”

“Do you love Lexa?” Neva asked, her brow furrowed slightly, Clarke didn’t say anything but nodded her head a little in reply, her jaw clenched slightly and the tell-tale glisten of tears starting to build in her eyes, “then why are you two fighting?”

“We’re not fighting,” Clarke said, “not really. I did something that maybe I shouldn’t have, I betrayed her trust, and that’s made her angry.”

“Can you fix it?” the young girl asked, “I think you should fix it, I don’t like it when you’re both sad, and if you fix it then you don’t have to leave.”

Clarke narrowed her eyes a little as she looked at the younger girl, as far as she was aware nobody had mentioned anything to her about them leaving.

“I heard Raven talking to Luna.” Neva explained, “she said that Skai Kru were thinking about leaving Polis. Don’t you like it here anymore?”

“It’s not that I don’t like it here,” Clarke said, “when my people came here, it was agreed that we would stay until the issue with ALIE had been resolved, at the moment she isn’t active, so my people aren’t in danger. Lexa is working to resolve everything with Azgeda as well, or she will when Ontari gets here, so there’s no reason for us to stay.”

“So you’re going home…” Neva replied.

“I wouldn’t say Arkadia is home,” Clarke said with a sigh, “but as the leader of my people, it’s where I need to be if that’s where they are.”

 

x-x-x-x

 

After her conversation with Clarke earlier that day, Neva felt that she should talk to Lexa. If anyone could get Clarke, and by default Raven, to stay in Polis, it would be Lexa. She hadn’t really spent any time with Lexa since they returned from the City of Light, she’d been busy, though nobody could tell her what Lexa had been busy with.

She went to Lexa’s room, finding the door open, and her older sister sitting and looking into the fire. Neva looked down at her hands, where she held the tree carving that she had gotten for Lexa, she took a deep breath before knocking on the door. As the door was open she didn’t have to knock, Lexa had told her that she only had to knock when doors were closed, but she didn’t want to go into Lexa’s room without permission, whether the older girl was there or not.

The knock on the door snapped Lexa from whatever thoughts she’d been lost in and she looked back at the door, and saw Neva.

“Is there something you need?” Lexa asked.

“Not really,” Neva replied as she walked into the room and over to where Lexa was sitting, she held out the carving to her, “this is for you.”

Lexa took the carving from Neva and ran her fingers over it.

“When you were away visiting Azgeda, I got you that from the market,” Neva explained, “I didn’t have anything to trade for it, but Clarke talked to the trader and he said we could have it.”

“It’s very beautiful, thank you.” Lexa said with a small smile as she looked at her younger sister, Clarke’s words from a few days before, about her never spending time with the younger girl, ringing through her mind.

“Why do you want Skai Kru to leave?” Neva asked.

“Why would you think I want Skai Kru to leave?” Lexa asked in reply.

“Because you’re not doing anything to make them stay,” Neva said, “you can tell them to stay.”

“I can’t tell them to stay,” Lexa replied with a small shake of her head, “they’re not part of the Coalition, I can’t force them to do anything.”

“So make them part of the Coalition,” Neva said, as if it were that simple, “then Clarke won’t go away.”

“It isn’t that simple.” Lexa said with a sigh.

“She doesn’t want to go away,” Neva said, “she doesn’t want to leave, give her a reason to stay.”

“Clarke needs to do what is right for her people,” Lexa replied, “just as I need to do what is right for mine…”

“If you keep pushing everybody away, you’re going to die alone.” Neva said, turning and quickly leaving the room.

“Every Commander dies alone.” Lexa said to the almost empty room.

 

x-x-x-x

 

Raven was tinkering around with the AI power source pack, she obviously had no interest in restarting it, that wouldn’t benefit anyone, she just wanted to see if she could learn anything from it. Anything that might help explain what was going on with Lexa.

“Luna tells me that you are returning to Arkadia.” Lexa said as she walked into the room, causing Raven to jump.

“Seriously need to get you a bell or something,” Raven said with a sigh, shaking her head a little, “and yes, that’s something that is being talked about.”

“It makes sense.” Lexa said with a nod, walking closer to the table where Raven was sitting, putting a map down on the table in front of the other girl.

“What’s this?” Raven asked.

“A map.” Lexa replied, a small smirk tugging at her lips as Raven looked up at her, her eyebrow arched in a way that screamed ‘really’, “the places marked on the map are safe places.”

“Safe from what?” Raven asked as she looked back down at the map.

“The radiation.” Lexa said.

“The…” Raven said, her brow furrowed as she looked up at Lexa again, “the radiation? What do you mean the radiation?”

“All the remaining nuclear reactors that are left on Earth are going to flood the planet with radiation.” Lexa stated.

“And who told you that?” Raven asked, curious about what Lexa knew about radiation and nuclear reactors, as she clearly remembered having to explain what a nuclear bomb was to the Commander.

“ALIE.” Lexa said.

“The AI,” Raven said, causing Lexa to nod, “the AI that is responsible for the almost complete destruction of life on the planet?”

Lexa simply nodded again.

“You’re going to have to give me something more to work with than that, Lexa.” Raven said.

“98% of the planets surface will be inhospitable in no more than 6 months.” Lexa said, the lack of emotion in her voice and her eyes giving Raven a huge cause for concern.

“How are you so calm right now?” Raven asked, standing up from where she was sitting, “you’re telling me that the world is probably going to come to an end, and it’s like you’re telling me about the weather.”

“It’s a simple fact,” Lexa replied, “there is nothing that can change it. The City of Light was ALIE’s way of ensuring the continuation of the human race, and it is now destroyed.”

“We need to get that AI out of your head…” Raven said shaking her head a little.

“That will not change anything.” Lexa said.

“Maybe not,” Raven agreed, “but it might stop you from acting like a robot for long enough to realise that you are talking about the destruction of the planet, the deaths of everyone that you love and care about.”

“It is a simple fact.” Lexa said.

“Yeah,” Raven said, “you said that already. But one thing you should know about me, Commander, I’m not going to sit back and accept that the world is going to end just because some AI told me it was going to happen.”

Raven looked behind her as Lexa’s eye focused on something, before she looked back at Raven.

“You cannot stop this.” Lexa said calmly.

“Maybe not,” Raven said, picking up the map and walking past Lexa towards the door, “but I’m sure as hell going to try.”


	40. Important note

Explanation time, I’ve been having a difficult time with my illness (bipolar) over the last few months, my moods have been pretty manic and that isn’t a good time to try and be creative. Because of that I’ve had no access to a laptop (I actually smashed up my last one, have a new one now though) and I’ve been forcing myself to stay off the internet because I wanted to literally delete everything that I’ve ever written.

Everything has balanced out again now with new medication (and a lot of help from friends) so I’m posting this note on all of my on-going fanfictions to find out if anyone is interested in me actually continuing them as it has been so long since I updated. Reply in the comments and let me know either way.


	41. Chapter 41

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke and the Sky People return to Arkadia without Lexa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've changed the tags on this to include the 'slow updates'. I know that doesn't make up for the fact that it's been a few months since I updated this one. I completely understand if people have decided to stop reading it, it would be nice if you'd let me know if you ARE still interesting in reading it, if not I'll just delete the whole thing.

Luna had voiced her concerns to Clarke about Lexa, her worries that the Commander was going to collapse if she didn’t get some rest soon. Clarke was obviously worried, but there wasn’t much she could do about it, the last time she had tried to help she messed it up. Clarke knew that she couldn’t just talk to Lexa about what was going on, because she knew she wouldn’t get a straight answer. She had decided that she would go back to Arkadia with her people, knowing that she didn’t really have much of a choice, as she didn’t know if she would be welcome to stay in Polis.

Arkadia certainly wasn’t the place that Clarke thought of when she imagined home, it hadn’t been for a while, even with everything that had happened, everything that had gone on between them, for Clarke, home was Lexa. But they would be leaving for Arkadia the next morning, home or not it was what Clarke needed to do, for her people and possibly for herself.

She knew, even though Lexa would already know that they were leaving, that she needed to talk to the Commander herself. Though deep down she wasn’t sure if Lexa was expecting her to. As she approached Lexa’s room, she could hear her talking to someone, as had become normal since their trip to the City of Light there was no reply to anything that Lexa was saying.

Clarke stopped in the doorway of the room and watched as Lexa paced back and forth in front of the fire place, muttering to herself. It made Clarke’s heart clench painfully to see Lexa like this, but she knew there was nothing she could do to help her, not in Polis. They needed to be in Arkadia to run tests. Raven had already told Clarke that they would need to see which parts of Lexa’s brain were attached to the AI before they could decide whether or not it could be removed safely.

Something that had been running through Clarke’s mind ever since the thought of removing the AI from Lexa had been talked about was whether or not Lexa would still be Lexa without it. Would she be the girl that Clarke had fallen in love with, would she still be the girl who had united the clans and stopped the wars, could she still be the leader of the Coalition without the AI in her head.

Those were all questions that couldn’t be answered unless Lexa went with them to Arkadia, which Clarke knew was something that wasn’t going to happen.

She knocked on the door, which stopped Lexa pacing as she looked at her. For a split-second Clarke was sure she could see relief flash across Lexa’s eyes, but as soon as it was there, it was gone again.

“Is there something you needed?” Lexa asked, clasping her arms behind her back as she looked at Clarke.

Clarke could see, from simply looking at Lexa, that she was exhausted. She had to bite her tongue to stop the one word that wanted to spill from her lips, at Lexa’s question the only answer Clarke could think of was ‘you’, but she knew she couldn’t say that.

“Er, yeah,” Clarke said with a nod, taking a few steps into Lexa’s room, “well no… I don’t need anything, but I wanted to tell you that we’re leaving tomorrow, for Arkadia.”

“Raven told me.” Lexa said with a small nod of her head, her jaw clenched.

“Of course she did,” Clarke said with a sigh, “I was wondering if you’d given any more thought to coming with us?”

“Now isn’t a good time for me to leave,” Lexa replied, “there’s a lot that I need to do here.”

“Okay.” Clarke said with another nod as she swallowed the lump that was starting to build in her throat.

“I would appreciate it if you sent word of your safe arrival in Arkadia once you get there…” Lexa said, the emotions she was feeling once again flashing in her eyes.

“I could leave a radio here,” Clarke said, “that way we can stay in contact while I’m there…”

Lexa didn’t say anything, she simply nodded her head slightly.

“Okay,” Clarke said, a slight smile on her lips, though her heart was feeling as though it was breaking into a million pieces in her chest, “I should get some sleep, we’re leaving early in the morning.”

“Safe journey, Clarke…” Lexa said.

 

x-x-x-x

 

The following morning everyone was awake early and ready to go back to Arkadia, Octavia was there to see them off, with Luna and Neva. Clarke was disappointed not to see Lexa there, but deep down part of her knew that Lexa wouldn’t be there, it didn’t stop it hurting though.

After she made sure everything was packed up on the carts that would be used to take things back to Arkadia, she turned back and walked up the steps to where Octavia, Luna and Neva were standing.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come back with us?” Clarke said to Octavia.

“That isn’t my home,” Octavia said, shaking her head slightly, “it never has been, not really. I don’t belong there.”

“I understand.” Clarke said with a soft smile, knowing exactly how Octavia felt.

“You know you don’t have to leave either, right?” Octavia said.

“But I do,” Clarke said with a sigh, “I can’t be their leader if I’m not there.”

Octavia pulled Clarke into a hug.

“Come back soon.” Octavia said quietly.

Before Clarke backed out of the hug she saw Lexa standing on the stairs, even from that distance Clarke could tell that she hadn’t slept again.

Clarke turned her attention to Luna.

“Take care of her.” Clarke said quietly, knowing that Luna would know exactly who she was talking about.

“I’ll do my best.” Luna replied with a small smile.

It was then time for Clarke to say goodbye to Neva. She crouched down in front of the young girl.

“I don’t want you to go…” Neva said, her brow furrowed as she looked at Clarke.

“I know,” Clarke replied, “but I have to. You can come and visit any time you want to.”

Neva nodded her head a little.

“And I left a radio with Lexa, so you can talk to me or Raven whenever you want, okay?” Clarke said.

“Okay.” Neva said with another nod, before she flung her arms around Clarke, the blonde not hesitating to return the hug.

As she did she could see Lexa again, the brunette swallowing hard as she closed her eyes.

“We need to go, Clarke.” Abby said from where she was standing with everyone else.

“Stay safe.” Luna said as Clarke stood back up.

“You too.” Clarke replied before walking back to her people.

 

x-x-x-x

 

After being shown all the improvements around Arkadia, all the new buildings, the areas where they were growing crops, the new medical area, Clarke was once again alone. Though the outer areas of the place were built with a mix of metal and wood, everything still felt cold to her. It wasn’t just a physical feeling of cold, it was an emotional one. A feeling that she could feel in the very heart of herself, as though ice was running through her veins rather than blood.

She knew that Raven was already working on trying to figure out ALIE from the fragments of code that they had, but she also knew that she wouldn’t be able to find any links between ALIE and the AI in Lexa without an original code, or without the second AI. But Clarke was touched that she was trying. She knew that the relationship between Lexa and Raven had changed while they’d been in Polis, Neva was part of that reason, acting as a bridge between the two. Another part of the reason was Raven realising that Lexa wasn’t some cold-hearted monster, she still carried some of the blame for Finn’s death in Raven’s eyes, but Clarke assumed she probably always would.

While Clarke lay on her bed, staring at the ceiling, she couldn’t help but run through any excuse she could use to go back to Polis. Arkadia wasn’t her home, even though she already knew that, it was something that was reinforced when she walked back in through the gates. No matter the name that was above the gates, it was still a place that carried bad memories for Clarke, as it did for a lot of people. She knew that the only way she could be rid of the responsibilities that she had as leader of her people, was to call for a fresh vote for Chancellor, and obviously leaving her name out of it.

A knock at her door snapped her out of her thoughts, she looked over to see Bellamy standing there, a sympathetic smile on his face.

“Hey…” Clarke said, sitting up.

“You have the look of someone who really doesn’t want to be here.” Bellamy said, walking into the room and sitting on the chair that was near the small desk in Clarke’s room.

“This place just isn’t home anymore, Bell…” she replied.

“Was it ever really home for you?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” Clarke said honestly, “it could’ve been, once.”

“I noticed that Lexa wasn’t there to see us off earlier.” Bellamy said, “Is everything okay with her?”

“Honestly, I have no idea,” Clarke said, shaking her head slightly, “she hasn’t been sleeping well since we came back from the City of Light, something’s going on, but I’m not sure what. I’m pretty sure it’s ALIE related, but we couldn’t do any tests or anything in Polis, she’d need to be here for that.”

“That doesn’t explain what’s going on with you two.” He said.

“I drugged her…” Clarke said, glancing at Bellamy to see a look of complete shock on his face, “she wasn’t sleeping, so I got something from my mom that would help her sleep… rather than talk to her about taking it, I put it in her tea…”

“Wow…” Bellamy said, leaning back in the chair a little, “that’s… that’s pretty fucked up, Clarke.”

“I know,” Clarke replied with a sigh, running her hand through her hair, “I thought I was doing the right thing, you know, I thought it would help.”

“I’m surprised you’re still alive and she didn’t have you executed or something,” Bellamy said, “I’m sure you drugging her broke a shit load of laws in Polis.”

“She said if it’d been anyone else, they’d have been tied to a tree before sundown.” Clarke said, “I really thought I was doing the right thing.”

 

x-x-x-x

 

The days seemed to drag, though Clarke knew that they obviously weren’t any longer than any other day, everything just seemed to be going a lot slower. Raven had come to her about the map that Lexa had given her, so Clarke sent out small groups to find out what the ‘safe spaces’ were like near Arkadia. She was surprised to learn that they were a series of underground bunkers. Lexa hadn’t talked to her about what she knew, but she’d obviously talked to Raven.

Clarke was standing in the tech room, while Raven explained it all to her.

“So, basically, there’s nothing we can do to stop it.” Clarke said with a sigh.

“Not a damn thing,” Raven replied, shaking her head, “there isn’t enough time for us to find the reactors and stop them exploding, it’s impossible.”

“So, this is it,” Clarke said with another sigh, “this is how the world is going to end…”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Raven said, causing Clarke to look at her, “well, in a way, yes, this is it. But the world isn’t going to end. It just won’t be survivable for like 5 years or something…”

Before Clarke could say anything, the door to the room opened and Bellamy walked in, the look on his face told Clarke that something was very wrong.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“Kassius just arrived,” he said, “with Lexa…”

“Is she…” Clarke started to say.

“She’s alive, your mom is running some tests.” Bellamy said.

Clarke looked between him and Raven before rushing from the room and towards the medical area.

“Neva’s here too,” Bellamy said with a small smile as he looked at Raven, “she’s asking where you are.”

 

x-x-x-x

 

“What’s going on?” Clarke asked, rushing into the medical area and over to the bed where Lexa wasn’t being wired up to a few different machines.

“She collapsed,” Kassius replied, “she wouldn’t wake up. Luna told me to bring her here, that your mother might be able to help her.”

Clarke looked at Abby.

“She’s alive,” Abby said, “I need to run some tests, find out what’s going on.”

“Can we get that AI out of her head?” Clarke asked, looking between Kassius and Abby.

“The Flame has never been removed from a living Commander before.” Kassius replied, “I do not know if it’s possible, but we can try, if you think it’s for the best.”

“I don’t know what’s for the best,” Clarke said with a sigh, looking down at Lexa, “if we can find out what’s causing her the issues she’s been having, if we can…”

“I have a suggestion,” Raven said, walking into the room, “if we can get it out of her, I’ll take a look at it, see if we can reboot it or something. If ALIE has managed to get to Lexa by using that second AI, then I might be able to delete her code.”

“Will she be Lexa without it?” Clarke asked, looking at Raven.

“From what I read, in that book you brought to me when we were in Polis, yes.” Raven said with a nod, “it doesn’t stop her being the person she is, it doesn’t really change anything about her. She’s still Lexa, with it or without it.”

“I would need to know which parts of her brain it’s connected to before even thinking about operating on her.” Abby said.

“It can be removed without intrusion,” Kassius said, causing everyone to look at him, “there is a ritual that is performed when a Commander dies, to remove the Flame.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about that before?” Clarke asked, “you knew we were talking about it.”

“It wasn’t my place,” he replied, “it’s my duty to protect her, and the Flame.”

“What do you need for the ritual?” Abby asked.

Clarke phased out everything that was being said around her as she looked back at Lexa. She looked so peaceful. She softly took Lexa’s hand, before placing a kiss on her forehead.

“I just hope you can forgive me…” Clarke said quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember you can also find me over on Tumblr at unaligned-valkyrie or on the fanfic sideblog dreaming-wide-awake-fic.


End file.
